Yeah, I blew off Wednesday again. That’s because I got sick as a dog on Tuesday morning and slept my ass off. Besides, there was nothing but people departing their moneymaking activities to talk about. Tom Ridge, Ty Willingham, Butch Davis, Tom Brokaw, Ken Jennings…thus proving that the Second Coming of the Junta is going to be bad for jobs, just like the first one was. Plus, I was a little depressed about Mike Johanns being named my new boss. Jesus, I can’t get away from Nebraska, can I? So it would have been a waste of your time and effort to read whatever I had to put out. And speaking of wastes of time, let’s do the Smackdown Short Form and get this over with…
THE SMACKDOWN SHORT FORM
Match Results:
Rey-Rey, Rob-Rob, and Tramp-Tramp over Rene Dupree, Kenzo Suzuki, and Hiroko, Intergender Tag Match (Pinfall, Mysterio pins Dupree, rollup): A comedy match featuring Rob Van Dam. Oh, yippie. My ignorance of this was so deep that it bordered on apathy. Actually, it crossed that border during the ring intros and decided not to come back.
Rey-Rey pins Dupree, thus putting an end to this nightmare
Jesus versus Charlie Haas (technically, no match): Does Jesus’s thug push count toward Carly’s push, or are they totally separate? I hate having to deal with bodyguards and trying to figure out who’s latching onto who’s heat.
Jesus decides on a little chain-induced abuse to neutralize Charlie Haas
Carly gets into Teddy Long’s face after Long objected to Jesus’s thuggery
Danny and Doug Basham over Eddy Guerrero and Booker T (Pinfall, Danny pins Eddy, rollup): Hmmm, an angle advancement match where they kept the advancement to a minimum, not to mention that Eddy and Booker were involved. Yeah, I sorta liked it.
Bradshaw kicking all kinds of ass on commentary
Eddy gets a dropkick away on Doug Basham. Of course, I had to wait one minute to find out which Basham it was; thanks, Cole.
Kurt Angle over Sebastian Macauley, Angle Invitational Match (Submission, AngleLock): Damn, did this week’s challenger scream “redneck” or what? That was one thick accent for Virginia.
Angle offering up the sucker-punch handshake to Sebastian Macauley
The Undertaker over High-Quality Speaker Boy and His House Bitch, Handicrap Match (DQ, blatant low blow): How many main events that I can’t give two shits about can I stand? At least Raw posited an interesting scenario this week. This was nothing but angle advancement and a chance to pop ratings with UT. Bleh.
Orlando, meet the turnbuckle. Turnbuckle, Orlando.
Now that’s how to counter the Last Ride
Angle Developments:
Satan’s Little Helpers: Dawn Marie is extremely hot in that Santa outfit. And rumor has it she’s broken up with Simon Pat Kenney Empire Diamond Saint. So now the sluice gates are open, boys. However, I’m going to defer to Fleabag. He’s always wanted to bang her, Desi or not. It’s called “professional courtesy”.
Some women can pull off red, some can’t. This is a definite case of the former.
And so can Jackie, for that matter
And that’ll be it for me this week. See you next Tuesday with more fun and games.
