Weekend News


Weekend News, 12-5-04

Hello everyone, and yes, I still write for this site. The last few weeks have
been pretty crazy, what with me trying to get a new job and all. But you don’t
care about that. On to the news…oh, wait. First, just so you all know, this
column will be a Friday column starting next week. Now I have to come up with
a new name for it…


Red Light District, a leading production company that specializes in hard-core
gonzo films and distributors of the hugely popular 1 Night in Paris video featuring
the heiress to the Hilton hotel fortune, today announced they will distribute
the sex video of world renowned wrestler Joanie Laurer, known to millions of
fans as Chyna.

1 Night in China, that features Laurer and her boyfriend, professional wrestler
Sean Waltman also known as X-PAC, will be available December 13, 2004. The video
will be available in domestic, international and online adult video stores with
an MSRP of $39.00. Red Light District also included four special scenes that
showcase the company’s other successful titles.

The video was something that my boyfriend and I taped for our own personal
pleasure, said Joanie Laurer, a former WWF wrestler. However, when an outside
party got hold of it, I decided to make a preemptive strike and release the
video myself. I’m proud of my performance in the video and feel confident that
my fans throughout the world will love it.

Joanie is an international celebrity with a huge fan base and we are very confident
that this video will be immensely popular, said David Joseph, president Red
Light District. It’s clear that there is symmetry between the fans of professional
wrestling and consumers of adult entertainment, and the viewers won’t be disappointed.

1 Night in China was shot on location throughout China while Laurer and Waltman
were on an Asian vacation. Laurer, whose cover of Playboy is the best-selling
issue in the magazine’s history, also will be staring on the fourth season of
VH1’s The Surreal Life, airing January 9, 2005.

Recently Red Light District’s 1 Night in Paris, video has sold more than 400,000
copies and is considered to be the best selling video of all time. It recently
won Best Selling Title of the Year and Best Renting Title of the Year by Adult
Video News (AVN).

About Red Light District Video: Founded in 1999 in Chatsworth, California,
Red Light District Video is an award-winning, production company specializing
in hard-core, gonzo films. With hundreds of videos, including 1 Night in Paris,
the company has become home to celebrity pornography, in addition to maintaining
the sexiest and raunchiest video library in the business. For more information,
please visit the company website at clubredlight.com.
credit: pwtorch.com

One Asshole’s Opinion
Wow, the week I come back to InsidePulse, and I get THIS goldmine of a story.
Suffice it to say, this is what will happen: IWCers everywhere will moan loudly
that this is horrible, Chyna is a man, X-Pac sucks, and there is no way they
would EVER download this sex tape. 95% of them will then download it. Come on…you
know you’re going to. What, me? No, I’m not, that’s just wrong!

"A Night of Appreciation for Sabu"
Sunday, December 12
Diamondback Saloon
49345 South I-94 Service Drive
Belleville, Michigan

Tickets for the event are now on sale. VIP tickets are $30 and include an autograph
session that begins at 4 PM. General admission tickets are $15 for adults and
$10 for children 12 and under. Tickets for the 12/12 "Night of Appreciation
for Sabu" benefit event in Belleville, Michigan are available online. Fans
who wish to pay for their tickets in advance can send a paypal.com payment to

The following is the card for the event as of now;

*Raven vs. Shane Douglas with Mick Foley as special Guest Referee
*AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels
*TNA X-Division champion Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin
*Jeff Hardy vs. Kid Kash
*Insane Clown Posse & The Rudeboy vs. TBD
*Monty Brown vs. Abyss
*BCW championship: D’Lo Brown vs. A1
*Sharkboy & D-Ray 3000 vs TBD

Bell time is set for 6 PM
credit: pwinsider.com

One Asshole’s Opinion
Well, it looks like it will be a pretty good show, for the most part. I think
it’s pretty classy that this event is going down; apparently, not EVERYONE in
this business is horribly cut-throat.

There is still no word on why Paul Heyman was relieved of his writing duties
on Smackdown yesterday. There has been talk that this is a result of issues
between he and Stephanie McMahon. As of right now, Dave Lagana is on his own
for the most part as far as writing the show is concerned.
credit: pwinsider.com

One Asshole’s Opinion
I’ll wait to give my opinion until all the facts are in. I’m probably breaking
one of the Commandments of being in the IWC by waiting, but oh well.

NWATNA plans on bringing Jacqueline back for another appearance against Trinity
this Sunday at Turning Point.
credit: pwinsider.com

One Asshole’s Opinion
Oh, for the love of Christ. Just when I think TNA is on to something, they pull
something like this. Come on…were the fans REALLY clamoring for more Jacqueline?
Were the fans EVER clamoring for more Jacqueline?

ECW shirts are now being sold for the first time since 2001. The shirts are
black with the infamous barbed wire logo in white. They are now available at
credit: pwinsider.com

One Asshole’s Opinion
This will be the same deal as the nWo shirts a couple years ago…if you buy
the WWE version, you are a massive tool. There’s no way around it. If you didn’t
catch on to this stuff when it was popular, then you will be labeled a douchebag,
and be ridiculed by everyone. I’m not saying it’s right or anything, but come
on people…this is why God invented ebay.

The Adventure of Links

Iain Burnside
is back, leading the Roundtable over in the Nexus. Check it out; I haven’t seen
this much debate in a roundtable for quite some time.

Check out gloomchen.
Still one of the most tremendous columns on the Web, week after week.

Eric checks
in with the Short Form.

Read Mathan‘s
Who’s Who in the DCU; I shouldn’t have to keep telling you this.

Go check out Jim‘s
Marvel Handbook. Nice work, Jim; nice work Daron.

It’s Ben‘s
final Watchtower, as he moves on to Wizard. Best of luck, sir. It’s been real.

checks in with a look at the future main eventers.

It figures, the week that I’m the guest columnist for the Late Night Jukebox,
Fernandez doesn’t show up (as of this writing, anyway). So, keep your eyes peeled
for that.

Turning Point

NWA: TNA’s Turning Point PPV is going on today, though you’d
never know it looking around the site here. Well, here’s a quick look at the
card, with, of course, One Asshole’s Opinion.

Randy Savage, AJ Styles, and Jeff Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett, Scott Hall,
and Kevin Nash

Well, I’m reasonably sure this match will suck, unless they can keep it as
Styles vs. Jarrett for as long as possible. If this were a WWE match, suffice
it to say that the heels would win in a slaughter, since Jeff Hardy is the biggest
of the babyfaces.
Winner: Savage, Styles, Hardy

X Division Championship
Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin

Regardless of the fact that TNA loves Sabin so much (and rightly so), I believe
that they will continue Petey’s massive push (also rightly so).
Winner: Petey

Six Sides of Steel Cage Match

Anyone else think they’re running out of match ideas? This is about the 7 millionth
time these two teams have fought, so I’m going to predict who I always predict
and move on.
Winner: XXX

Special Challenge
Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven

This should be interesting, at the very least. I haven’t seen DDP wrestle since
his return, but I’m reasonably confident that he can still work a match, especially
with Raven.
Winners: Raven

Serengeti Survival Match
Monty Brown vs. Abyss

Now that this match is down to one-on-one, it shouldn’t be as much as a clusterf*ck
as it was at Victory Road. On the contrary, I expect this to be a good match.
Winner: Monty Brown

NWA World Tag Team Championship
3LK vs. Team Canada

Well, this will probably not be very good, considering the players, but who
knows; they could surprise me.
Winners: 3LK

Kid Kash, Michael Shane, and Kazarian vs. Hector Garza, Sonjay Dutt,
and Sonny Siaki

I still don’t understand TNA’s insistence on constantly pushing Sonny Siaki
when everybody gives less than a shit about him. Well, whatever. If I get to
see Garza’s moonsault, I’ll be happy.
Winners: Kash, Shane, Kazarian

Smackdown Raw

Alright, I’m giving up on trying to get Smackdown downloaded in time to review
for this column, so I’ll just do Raw from now on, especially since my column
is changing to Fridays.

I liked how Vince came out and switched the rules for the battle royale because
he didn’t like it; but later, backstage, when Orton asked Vince’s opinion, Vince
said that it didn’t matter what his opinion was, since Orton was the GM. Ugh.
My head hurts.

Holy crap, Batista is getting over pretty big.

Come on, was anyone REALLY surprised by the announcement of a triple threat

I’m glad people like Rico, Gail Kim, and Jazz got fired so that we could open
up some space for EVERY SINGLE DIVA SEARCH CONTESTANT! Unbefrickinlievable.

Hmmm…when JR and Coach were announcing together, it sure didn’t seem like
Coach hated JR, or that he had tried to get a match with JR the last couple
of weeks.

Lawler vs. Flair was really good!

The Orton Push to the Moon continues to irritate the piss out of me.

Hey, a cliffhanger done right! Now I really want to tune in next week to see
what they’ll do about the World Title. Sadly, it’ll probably go back to HHH,
but hey, I can dream can’t I?

Coming to a Cinema Near You

Sorry guys, no gimmick this week. I’ll return next week with a new movie poster,
now that I’m finally getting back in the groove.

Well, that’ll do it for this week. Keep the e-mails and IMs coming, and I’ll
see you here next Friday.

AIM = GoldenAce 007