Written by: Tony Bedard
Penciled by: Jim Calafiore
Inked by: Mark McKenna
Lettered by: Dave Sharpe
Colored by: JC
Editor: Mike Marts
Publisher: Marvel Comics
You know something that normally really gets my goat? It’s when people say that “things ain’t what they used to be…I remember when all this was fields…you could get into the movie house and buy soda and popcorn and still get a tram back home – all for a nickel…yadda, yadda, yadda.”
Normally, it really, really bugs me when people talk like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah – so things have moved on, they’ve progressed – for better or for worse – deal with it. Sure, some things were better in the old days, but, seriously folks, lets not beat around the bush – what would you rather have…a ball and stick, or your PS2?
Clean, cool running water or a stinking well and a rusty bucket?
Fast, efficient transport or a horse and cart? (well okay, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad)
Point is, not everything connected to the “good old days” was actually that good. This World of ours isn’t perfect – as you may have noticed – but it’s not so bad, either, not compared to some aspects of the past.
However, here’s where I eat my words. I’ve been reading the Exiles since the beginning, and in that time, I’ve gone from really digging the early work, to being unmoved and almost uninterested in the middle of it’s run, to absolutely loving the Chuck Austen stuff (betcha never thought you’d ever hear anyone say THAT, now did you?!) and now finally finding Tony Bedard kind of…uninspiring.
No doubt about it folks, The Exiles isn’t what it used to be, and it really was better in the “olden days”.
So far, only the previous issue’s witty and quirky exploration of what sort of difference the smallest intervention by The Exiles can make has made me sit up and take notice – and actually re-read several times. As a whole, the other stories in Bedard’s run so far have left me cold.
I’ve neither hated them nor loved them. They’ve just been read, enjoyed to a certain point, and then discarded; the very epitome of an average, unexciting comic book.
We need the good old days of this title back.
We need idiosyncratic, gripping stories with surprising and inspiring twists and turns, with original and well thought out skews on traditional characters and settings.
We need the same sense of danger that knowing any member of the team could meet a sticky and unexpected end at any moment used to give us.
Instead, we get a revisit to an old X-Men and Spiderman foe who was never particularly interesting in the first place, and little has been done in this story to make this alternate version any better.
The basic storyline starts off with our hero’s stranded in an alternate reality with no memory of who or what they really are, and this does, to be fair, lead to some amusing interplay between them. For instance, the fact that Beak is regarded as a “Court Jester” is a neat summation of his role within the group thus far, that is to say, an outsider, seen as of little real value and treated as (in the nicest possible way, of course) not much more than a joke.
As you may guess from Beak’s occupation, they are trapped in a medieval World. This World is populated by vicious City Watchmen armed with swords and cudgels, and the Exiles hang out in crowded smoky inns supping frothy ale whilst perched on wooden benches.
If only we could have remained on these lines for a while longer; the group not knowing who they are and why they’re there could have lead to some delicious plot-lines. Who’s to say that the regal and haughty Namora might not have decided her best bet of survival would be to link up with the bad guys and join the ruling elite?
Sadly, Bedard moves on from this all too quickly, and by the end of the issue, the group begin to regain their true identities and memories. Shame.
We also get – ra-ra – another alternate version of Spiderman, something that really, really pissed me off, big style. Why? Well, apart from another nifty and somewhat subtle costume change, he appears to be exactly the same as the Spiderman of the 616 reality. Great. What’s next, another version of Wolverine who’s exactly the same as UXM’s? Give it time, folks, give it time…
The best incarnation of Spiderman we’ve seen so far in this series has been that of the Weapon X persuasion, the psychotic, childish killer with no regard for human life – and that character wasn’t even Peter Parker, so it doesn’t even really count!
Okay, so maybe the point is that whatever their costume or reality, Peter Parker has certain intrinsic noble and heroic qualities that will always apply. Fair point, well presented. But where’s the fun in that? For Christ’s sake, if we must get Spider-bloody-Man in near enough every single reality, at least give us a Spider-bloody-Man that’s different to the 616 version, or at least somehow changed enough to make us feel that we really ARE witnessing an other-Wordly version and not a photocopy of our own.
And don’t even get me started on Morph! Under first Judd Winnick and then Austen, he developed from the sole comedy relief on the team to the emotional centre and real heart and soul of The Exiles. Under Bedard’s pen, that slow, steady and wonderful character growth has all but vanished, and we’re back to a Morph who exists only to crack one-liners and turn into funny looking characters.
Good points? Well, Beddard does write excellent dialogue at times, even if his plots have been trite so far, and the letters page contains hints that he does actually have some good plans in store for the future. Also, I have to say I much prefer Jim Calafiore’s art to Mizuki Sakakibara’s.
Indeed, Calafiore’s rendition of Morbius is awesome, perfectly capturing the sinewy, insidious appearance of the vampire. I’ve been a huge Morbius mark ever since I first saw him within the pages of Spidey, and still remember with fondness his short-lived but superb solo series back in the mid 90’s.
Werewolf by Night and Wendigo make their Exiles debuts, too, and again, a major positive is that it’s good to see such under-utilised bad guys get their turn in the sun. Indeed, it’s pretty amusing to see how Wendigo uses his own name as his only spoken response, even if it does remind me of Pikachu.
However, for me, yet another Exiles story arc has started and it’s left me feeling somewhat cold. I don’t violently dislike this storyline, but I am beginning to get sick of reading medicore stories.
I’m pissed that Morph has regressed, and the Spider-Man factor has really started to irritate me (did you notice?) and overall it hasn’t gripped me like previous Exiles story arcs have.
It’s only an “okay” read, but for a title that used to be a “must” read for me, and one I couldn’t wait to get my sticky mitts on every month, for it to now be simply average and sit at the bottom of my reading pile in the week it comes out is just not good enough.
So far Mr Bedard, you’re not doing an awful job, but you could do better, and you’d better start doing that reeeeeal fast, before my patience, for one, runs out.
