Greetings one and all to the first edition of Truth or Consequences, here at Inside Pulse. This will hopefully be the first of many columns for IP, as vent my spleen over various aspects of the wrestling world. Seeing as how I’m the new kid on the block, however, it’s probably only fitting that I introduce myself properly.
Well, my name’s Kevin G. Bufton and I’m a life-long wrestling fan, from Rock Ferry in the UK and, believe me, there are few places more soul-destroying. I have been watching this great pseudo-sport since the tender age of five, when I used to spend many a Saturday afternoon round at my Nan’s house watching World of Sport at four o’clock in the afternoon. For those of you that don’t know, this programme showcased the very best that British wrestling had to offer. Whether it be the mysterious shenanigans of Kendo Nagasaki or the youthful exuberance of Robbie Brookside and Steve Regal, there was a hell of a lot of quality wrasslin’ going on out there. There was even a working arrangement with Stu Hart’s Stampede promotion, which saw the likes of “Bronco” Owen Hart and “Cowboy” Brett (sic) Hart get a match or two over here. Of course, no matter how good the midcard guys were, the events were always dominated by two men, sat atop the British wrestling world like a pair of steaming turds. America had Hogan and Flair…well we had Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks. Dear God, they were awful. I actually own a “Best of…” tape for Big Daddy, if that’s not a contradiction in terms and, if I can bear it, I might review it at some point in the future. However, no matter how bad they might have been, they packed out arenas night after night. Whilst guys like Rollerball Rocco and Mick McManus lit it up on the undercard, the crowds cheered and hollered for four minutes (average) of two hugely obese men bumping into each other, before the inevitable count-out win.
Don’t get me wrong – fat men have their place in professional wrestling. Some guys like Abdullah the Butcher may not move much but they have an excellent gimmick and can brawl well. The UK Pitbulls are one of my favourite tag teams of all time and they tip the scales at a combined weight of over 800lbs. Other guys like Vader, Otto Wanz, Bam Bam Bigelow and even Yokozuna in his prime can move around the ring like guys half their weight and size and who can forget that lovable rogue, Fat Fuck Barrel Boy, from JCW? Okay, make not. Hell, I’m hardly Tinkerbell, myself but Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks were horribly obese, unable to move after three minutes, with the sweat dripping down their faces and gasping for breath.
In any case, this was the wrestling of my youth, long before I got to see the WWF or WCW, let alone any puroresu or lucha libre. Now, over twenty years later, I’ve seen more wrestling than can possibly be good for me and yet, I’m pleased to say, I still can’t get enough of it. I am one of those people who will happily sit down and watch any kind of wrestling match, be it Lou Thesz vs. Rikidozan or Veronica Caine vs. Lizzie Borden. Living in Britain, we get TWC (The Wrestling Channel) which gives some of the finest action from UK, Japan, USA and Mexico as well as shoot interviews and classic footage. It’s the wrestling fan’s dream and it’s a rare day when I don’t flip over to watch for an hour or two.
Wrestling is one of those things that is nearly impossible to define. It has certain athletic elements, but it’s not a sport; there are emotional moments, but it’s not a drama series; it has us laughing and crying, but it’s neither a comedy nor a tragedy. Some people have called wrestling a male soap opera, but that’s not quite right either. Wrestling is all of these things, yet none of them describe it adequately. Professional wrestling is simply something unique, all to itself, a truly wonderful amalgam of various pieces of entertainment.
I have been writing columns on the game for the last six months (check out my archive below). During this time and the months before when I was reading various IWC postings, I was taken aback by how negative everybody was. Whether it be the Kane/Lita angle, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Heidenreich, Orton’s face turn, Snitsky, TNA in general or anything else, most writers just spent their time slagging off something I love. Worse, they would then proudly boast about how they never watch WWE programming anymore, but then still fit to complain about what they read in the spoilers. Well I’ve got news for you – there are worse spectacles in wrestling than the Undertaker/Heidenreich match at Survivor Series (how about Ivan Putski vs. Moondog Spot, for one?), CCC has some great potential and, as for the Kane/Lita/Hardy/Snitsky angle – that is just a classic storyline. Personally, I have never boycotted Raw or SmackDown!, nor have I refused to buy a PPV out of misguided principle. Sometimes the money just isn’t there, of course, but that’s another matter. I don’t say this out of smug pride or self satisfaction, but simply as a matter of fact. Wrestling is a great sport and you never know when the next big development is going to take place. The WWF was crap in 1996 and no doubt plenty of people stopped watching the shows and buying the PPVs. It’s a shame really, since they will also have missed the birth of the Attitude era with Stone Cold’s famous coronation speech at King of the Ring. Sure, it’s available on every single WWF compilation ever since but it’s nice to be able to look back and say “I was there.”
Now, I’m not saying that everything is rosy in the wrestling garden but come on…give these things a chance. Right now Booker T is getting a nice push, the Cruiserweights are getting more and more PPV and SmackDown! time and Raw, as a TV programme, is absolutely smokin’. No matter how bad things are, there are little nuggets of gold to be found. In the past, I’ve written columns on the Bushwhackers, where I commented on their history as innovative brawlers; I’ve written about the Honky Tonk Man and just how good he was at putting people over. In fact, there is only one wrestler about whom I have never found anything good to write and that’s Ivan Putski.
Bastard.
There are things that bother me about wrestling and I’m not about to sugar coat them in my columns. The plight of the WWE’s Women’s division is truly depressing, as is the way that TNA seems, slowly but surely, to be turning itself into WCW-lite. However, even here there are good points to be made, it just seems easier to highlight the problems instead of focussing on the strengths. This is where Truth or Consequences comes in.
In the future, I also hope to post some tape and DVD reviews, so let me know what sort of stuff you want to see up here and I’ll see if I can oblige.
That’s it for now. I realise this is a very brief column, but it is only really here to offer a brief introduction to your humble scribe. I’ll be back next week with a full instalment.
Until then, feel free to check out some of my earlier work at Obsessed With Wrestling, SmashWrestling and FuriousRage and get in touch with any comments or suggestions.
Until the next time…farewell.
Hall of Fame: Part I (1993-1994)
Hall of Fame: Part II (1995-1996)
Luke and Butch: Before the Bushwhackers
