Before the recap, I wanted to send my condolences to the friends and family of Dimebag Darrell, the guitarist for Damageplan, Pantera, and the last three Anthrax studio albums. He was an incredible axe-wielder and a hilarious personality, not to mention one of the most unique performers in a genre that is hard to stand out in. I’d also like to send my condolences to the three fans who were also killed at the same concert; no one should have to worry about dying when they go see their favorite band and it’s a terrible shame that it happened. I doubt anyone involved with them reads my column, but as a regular concert goer and a Pantera fan I’m really bummed out about this.
Generic theme #666 brings us to… Byte This! For the second week in a row, Marc opens the show without Josh Matthews. Kurt Angle will be here tonight, Marc drops the phone number, a Puder/Miz showdown will occur, and Al Snow will be here. Thank god they have a bunch of guests tonight. Okay, I know for certain they promised a trivia contest this week, so let’s see if they deliver. Marc goes into psycho shilling mode: the ECW DVD is doing well, Triple H’s book is doing good, “Triple H’s movie” comes out tonight, there’s also book and magazines and toys and games and all sorts of goodies at WWE.com. No shipping costs during the holidays at the website. Marc then starts talking about the Fantasy Game, and apparently he did badly. ‘Figures. We’re going to break.
Smackdown rebound: Teddy Long announces ‘Taker vs. JBL/Jordan. I like that this match was so poorly received live that even the WWE audio gloss can’t hide the boos and cat calls.
Marc and Droz are having an in-depth talk about professional wrestling. AH HA HA HA!!! Of course, they’re just blabbing about the fantasy game. Marc drives the conversation towards Monday Night Raw, and they talk about the title situation. Droz mentions that you can’t have double champions, which is blatantly untrue. Chyna and Jericho were both the Intercontinental Champion back in 1999/2000. Droz thinks everyone will be kissing Bishoff’s ass for the title, but I seriously doubt it. They start to discuss the Lita/Trish main event, and I strangely agree with everything Droz says about Lita deserving the belt after the months of suffering horrendous plotlines. Droz actually says something about losing her baby, but I know what he really means. Marc steers things towards Smackdown talk, and they totally ignore everything in the main event but ‘Taker and JBL. What about Eddie?! I can’t believe Eddie is such an underdog again after his title run. They discuss the Charlie Haas/multiple ladies situation, and Droz thinks that Haas might make a big mistake this time around. They talk about the Angle/Jindrack/Reigns vs. Big Show match, and Droz doesn’t think Show has a chance. That means Big Show’s gonna win! Cena vs. Jesus is briefly touched on, and Marc revolves the injury talk around Cena instead of Jesus. They go back to the Smackdown main event match and Bradshaw gets Droz’s vote, but I’m not too sure if Droz’ll be wrong this time. Oh crap, I’m agreeing with Marc… nevermind! Eddie’s gotta win! The Miz vs. Puder fight is talked about but Droz doesn’t think the Miz has got a chance. Droz thought that the Puder/Angle situation was exactly what made him the shoe-in, and Marc agrees. Marc then tries to drop him but Droz has got to talk about his new puppy first. Aaaaah, a puppy! We’re going to break.
Angle invitational footage. I like this gimmick, but if Angle’s really that badly hurt I almost wish he just wasn’t on TV at all.
Kurt is on the phone! It’s almost his birthday, and Marc called him during his party. C’mon guys, why would you call him during his frickin’ birthday party? Anyone, Angle talks about how this hometown champion situation was created because he’s hunting for new talent from town to town, and he’s so confident he’ll win against that talent he puts his belt on the line. Marc asks about the Tough Enough competition and Angle plays down Puder’s talent and hypes the Miz. Ah, some sour grapes Mr. Angle? Marc pushes it so Angle admits that Dan is the man but he warns that being a bad ass does not always make for a good wrestler. Someone in the chat room asks about Angle’s neck, and he admits that his left hand is starting to go on him but he is gaining his strength back slowly but surely. He thinks that he’s gonna be on TV for the next five to ten years (which is madness) and he thinks that he’s figured out a new style that will let him wrestle low impact and still be impressive. He talks about his PPV match and basically thinks his team will win. Marc drops him and THAT’s your advertised lead interview at 4 minutes. That’s okay, they’ll need a lot of time for that exciting Al Snow interview.
Trivia question for Raw tickets: What city did Angle win his first Olympic gold medal in? They actually did it this week, nice.
Blade: Trinity “behind the camera” footage has a bunch of pro-HHH comments from the co-stars. I heard Wesley thought the movie was poop and refuses to do promotion for it.
Raw footage of Ric Flair pimping Triple H. Flair is the shit, that’s fo’ sure.
Drew from Atlanta won the trivia contest. He’s on the phone right now, and they talk about nothing. Still no Josh, in case you were wondering. Marc tries to fill space with Tough Enough talk, and it reminds me of a desperate salesman who can’t stop talking as you walk out of his store. We’re going to break.
‘Taker/JBL footage from Smackdown.
Brief production f*ck up before we’re back with Al Snow. Snow instantly makes a joke about Marc giving out hand jobs, but the kid ignores it. Snow thinks that Puder is the more impressive athlete when it comes to the competitions they’ve had, but the Miz has a lot of heart. He doesn’t think the Miz should be counted out for the shoot match on Sunday. Yeah, right. Al misses the old format for Tough Enough, and it was very instrumental in creating new superstars. Yeah, like that one girl from the 1st one… or those two dudes from the 3rd one… hmmm, nevermind. Al says was asked to do Tough Enough again as soon as they announced the new Smackdown version of it. He feels responsible for the kids he trains, and he considers them his legacy in the business. He still keeps in touch with most of the kids who were voted off in the past, and he doesn’t sound too pleased about it. Al changes the subject so he can dog on Marc, but Marc turns it into a question about how long he’d want to be involved in the business. Al gets all serious about how the WWE should invest in new talent and developing new superstars. Apparently Marty (the 40 year old guy who got cut) was an amazing athlete, and he should have never been cut because he was such a workout machine. Sean from Florida calls and asks about Maven beating up on Eugene. THAT was a corporate call, no question. Al doesn’t seem to care too much. Marc asks what the biggest challenge to the new kids will be, and Al goes OFF. He thinks that there is so much stuff that a wrestler goes through (and he definitely lists as much as he can) that the million dollar contract will not feel like a big deal. He also thinks that there is no real reason anyone would want to be a wrestler unless they were simply driven to do it. Marc drops him and we’re going to break.
The unbearable Bob Holly/cross-dressing Tough Enough segment is played. This is worst than the worst Diva Search segment because THERE ARE NO HOT CHICKS AROUND AT ALL! How can one guy’s punishment for beating up a kid turn into such a long and boring TV trainwreck? Fuck Bob Holly for that one.
Puder and Miz are on the line. Marc congratulates them and already they are throwing out digs at each other. Marc asks Miz how the challenges have been so far. He thinks that they’ve been super duper hard, much harder than his Real World/Road Rules challenges (way to plug!) because of the brutal training regiment. Puder has been training hard as well, he hasn’t gone home at all in this time and has tried to put his mind in a different place. The training has been longer and harder than his MMA training, so he needed to get used to that as well. Miz thinks he should be a WWE superstar because he’s been trying to do this on the indie scene for the last three years. Puder thinks he should be a WWE superstar because he’s been training very hard at amateur wrestling and jujitsu since he was 12, although he’s never found an appropriate pro wrestling school in San Francisco. Miz counters by saying he moved from home in order to find a good wrestling school. Puder thinks that the Angle challenge was his favorite event thus far, since he had the balls to actually do it and he secretly won. Of course he doesn’t say that he secretly won, but anyone in the know could tell that Angle was dyin’ in that kamura. If you want to see the full damage that a kamura can do, see any Pride Fighting Championship DVD from 2000 featuring Sakuraba. Miz gets all defensive about how it happened, but Dan doesn’t seem to care too much about Miz’s fit. The Miz has been watching Rocky movies nonstop in order to train for Sunday’s fight. Puder has been sparring a few hours every day in order to train for this event, which means the Miz is gonna DIE!!! Puder thinks that they should make a bet against one another to do pushups if you lose. Miz doesn’t want to do it, and talks about what a major kiss ass Puder is. He shares a story about how they were eating at a Waffle House and Puder offered to fly to Al Snow’s house in order to help him spackle his walls. Hilarious. They do more trash talkin’ for a few minutes before Puder lays in the best line: “The only thing that the Miz has done well is dress like a woman.” Marc then says “The buyrates are certainly going up for Armageddon,” and I vomit in my mouth a little bit. He drops both of ’em and then says that this has been one of the best Byte This episodes ever. Ugh.
Marc pretty much dogs on Puder and pimps the Miz for a minute, although he doesn’t sound very confident in about it. Finally he brags up every single WWE event that’s gonna happen in the next four weeks and we are out! We end the show with Lita vs. Trish from Raw.
Not a really bad episode; I love when there’s genuine trash talking and Al Snow is at least funny. Still, the brief Angle interview was a bit disappointing, and where the hell is Josh? These all-Marc episodes can be pretty hard to take. Check out the end interviews if you want to, otherwise the rest is the usual corporate crap.
