Hello everyone, welcome to the same BS column, just on a different day. FYI,
I haven’t watched Turning Point yet; still working on the download. And, to
remind you all, or for those of you unfamiliar with the column, I don’t get
UPN, so no Smackdown. I used to review it when I had a Sunday column, but even
that didn’t always work, since I’m at the whim of my stupid POS computer. I
COULD still do it for this column, but it would end up being LAST week’s Smackdown,
and who wants to read about that? All together now: NOBODY. In other news, I
start reviewing comics over in the Nexus next week, so keep your eyes peeled.
On with the news…
News
Story
Primetime, Abyss, and Chris Sabin were all at yesterday’s iMPACT! taping, but
were given the night off, so they could recuperate from the injuries they suffered
at Turning Point. They were all paid as if they had wrestled on the taping.
Sabin suffered a lower back injury. Primetime was a bit beaten up after doing
his head scissors from the cage, while Abyss took a bump onto a pile of thumbtacks.
credit: pwinsider.com
One Asshole’s Opinion
Well, like I said, I didn’t see the PPV yet, so I can’t comment on that part
of it. However, it’s nice that they’re being given a paid "vacation"
to recuperate.
Story
Dixie Carter made a speech to all the wrestlers prior to the Turning Point PPV
on Sunday, noting that the company is doing "great" financially and
to not pay any attention to Internet rumors that stated otherwise. She confirmed
that if the wrestlers work more than once during a taping, they will be paid
as if they working two different tapings. Carter noted that she would be having
a child soon and wouldn’t be around for awhile, but not to let that be seen
as a sign of a lack of interest in TNA becoming successful. She promised that
2005 was going to be a big year for the company, citing details of their action
figure deal with Toy Biz. She also noted that within the last three weeks, the
company had landed some sponsorship deals, which was something they had been
working on for quite a while. Carter had planned to issue an official statement
via the Internet, but dropped those plans and addressed the wrestlers personally.
credit: pwinsider.com
One Asshole’s Opinion
Hey, if what she says is true, that’s good news for TNA. I wish them the best,
because I really really really want competition for WWE. That said, I think
TNA still has a long way to go before they actually ARE competition. There’s
still a lot of…for lack of a better word…silliness.
Story
The Toy Biz action figures, which were originally scheduled for a June release,
may be out as soon as this March.
credit: pwinsider.com
One Asshole’s Opinion
I’m more of a Muppets guy, but action figures can’t hurt.
…can they?
Story
Dale Torborg (formerly known as The Kiss Demon) and his wife Christine Wolf
(Asya), were backstage at yesterday’s iMPACT! taping.
credit: pwinsider.com
One Asshole’s Opinion
EEEEEWWWW!! ASYA!! *ahem* sorry about that.
Story
Mike Graham was also backstage. With Dusty Rhodes in power, there is a chance
Graham will end up with a position.
Rumors that Terri Runnels were backstage yesterday appear to be incorrect.
Konnan’s injury is a storyline situation while he works in Mexico and Puerto
Rico.
Pat Kenney may end up back as Simon Diamond under the new booking regime.
credit: pwinsider.com
One Asshole’s Opinion
Okay, in order:
1) I don’t know who Mike Graham is.
2) I think Terri is gross and should continue to stay off tv.
3) Good for Konnan, better for 3LK. To think: a team with BG James where BG
James ISN’T the worst wrestler.
Story
Randy Savage was reportedly sent home from the TNA iMPACT! taping this afternoon.
He reportedly demanded to win the NWA Title from Jeff Jarrett at the Final Resolution
PPV. Management told him that it wasn’t in the plans and asked him to leave.
As of now, there is no opponent for Jeff Jarrett at Final Resolution.
credit: pwinsider.com
One Asshole’s Opinion
Wow, Savage needs to wake up FAST. Did he honestly think they’d give him the
title, especially after a reportedly lukewarm reaction from the crowd? He was
on a local radio morning show in Buffalo a last week, and he has absolutely
lost his marbles.
Story
Chris Benoit was knocked out legit last night due to the chair shot from Triple
H. He received a few staples and was later said to be OK.
Referee Jack Doan was also knocked out and busted open by Triple H. He reportedly
had to be helped to the back by other referees.
Just before the Lita/Trish Stratus match, WWE staff needed 6 towels to clean
the blood off the mat, leaving them completely soaked afterward.
Lita is reportedly well and has had no problems after the frightening bump
she took delivering a tope.
credit: pwinsider.com
One Asshole’s Opinion
Well, apparently Trip went a LITTLE bit overboard with his chair shots. Eh,
I guess it happens; he should be more careful next time. Speaking of being more
careful next time, I believe that can be spelled with four letters: L-I-T-A.
Yikes.
The Adventure of Links
Gordi
has Part 2 of a look back at how he got into wrestling. It’s an excellent read,
so check it out.
Speaking of "Part 2," Robert
Sutton has Part 2 of his 007 retrospective. Great read.
gloomchen
doesn’t like Christmas music or Dave Matthews. "[Dave] Matthews’ constant
honking and yodeling and nasal whimpering is unbearable." Wow. I could
not have possibly said it better.
Eric surmises
about the Death of the IWC. Good stuff. The writing, that is, not the death.
Hyatte
shows up!
Read Mathan‘s
Who’s Who in the DCU; he tackles a question of mine with incredible detail.
While you’re at it, go check out Jim‘s
Marvel Handbook.
Goforth
writes an absolutely brilliant column about Triple H…one that I agree with
wholeheartedly. Well done, sir.
Figures deserves a link, since
I always overlook them. Also, as a HUGE Muppets fan, I suggest you check this
out.
Okay, one of these weeks will be my week in the Late Night Jukebox, so keep
your eyes peeled for that. Also, again, I’m starting comic reviews for the Nexus
next week.
Armageddon
Whoa….Armageddon is this Sunday?? I guess I’d better throw together some
predictions. I’m still not completely caught up with Smackdown, though, so my
predictions may be a bit…succinct.
Fatal Four Way for WWE Championship
JBL vs. Undertaker vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T
This, to me, is a tough one to call, as I could see it going all four ways.
I want it to go to Booker T, but my gut says that the champ will retain.
Winner: JBL
WWE Tag Team Championship
RVD & Rey Mysterio vs. Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki
Well, RVD & Mysterio just won the belts, so I think it’s safe to say they’ll
retain.
Winners: RVD & Mysterio
Streetfight for United States Championship
John Cena vs. Jesus
Oh come on…does anyone actual think Jesus is going to win?
Winner: Cena
Dawn Marie vs. Miss Jackie, Charlie Haas as Special Guest Referee
Well, I can see this going one of two ways: 1) the obvious "swerve"
that sees Haas leaving with Dawn Marie, or 2) Haas pimps out and leaves with
them both. I’ll flip a coin and say…
Winner: Dawn Marie, after Charlie swerves us all!
Handicap Match
Big Show vs. Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, and Mark Jindrak
Again, I see this as going one of two ways: 1) the obvious "Big Show overcomes
all odds to win," or 2) someone ELSE interferes on Angle’s team’s behalf,
costing Show the match.
Winner: Big Show
Tough Enough Dixie Dog Fight
Daniel Puder vs. Mike Mizanin
A.K.A. "Shoot fight." Puder’s going to own him. Unless they turn
this into an angle, where Kurt Angle takes revenge on Puder.
Winner: Puder
Cruiserweight Championship
Spike Dudley vs. Funaki
THE LONG-AWAITED REIGN OF FUNAKI BEGINS HERE!
Winner: Funaki!
Raw
Another bait-n-switch with the World Title, as we have to wait yet another
week to figure out what happens. It was cute last week, now it’s annoying.
Jericho looks snazzy!
Batista is really good speaker, but I guess that’ll happen when you hang out
with Ric Flair….unless you’re Triple H.
What was so bad about Christian’s outfit? He looked better than El Samurai.
I liked Maven’s heel tactics, and I thought he was funny giving "props"
to Eugene. And, I may be the only one who feels this way, but I don’t think
Eugene is totally stale yet.
What is so hard about spelling "Muhammed Hassan"? It’s like Brian
Gewirtz all over again around here.
Man, this Diva shit is soooooooo stupid.
I can’t believe they made Nova a generic wrestler. I hope that Simon Dean converts
to being a superhero with the Hurricane, or that he converts Hurricane to be
a super villain with him. Then he can be Super Nova again, and maybe make people
care. And yes, I just typed all that.
I love that Orton NEVER wrestles anymore.
Man, Triple H’s chairshots were BRUTAL. But that was a damn good match.
Wow, that women’s match was really good too!
How is Lita not dead?
Coming to a Cinema Near You
Ugh, two columns in a row with no gimmick. I didn’t envision falling asleep
for 3 hours tonight, but I did, and that cut into my column-writing time. One
of these days, I’ll just do a bunch of movie posters so that I have them in
reserve for weeks like this. Anyway, sorry; better luck next week!
Well, that’ll do it for this week. Keep the e-mails and IMs coming, and I’ll
see you here next Friday.
R.I.P. Dimebag Darrell
AIM = GoldenAce 007
