Watching the Hebrew Hammer now, which I missed last year. Finally a holiday film that Joe Schlomo can enjoy. Welcome to My T.V. Reality. A new day and name for yours truly, Mike Lawrence. What’s different from the Sunday column, Mike’s Soapbox? Not much. No topics or styles are off limits. If I see something interesting about T.V. and it catches my eye, I’ll write about it. If you like or dislike what you see, send me a line. Someday I’d like to do a mailbag column, though as of now it’d last about as long as “The Secret Diaries of Desmond Pfeiffer”. Man, I miss that show.
At the opening of a column, I’ll probably end up talking about something outside of T.V. I’ll label this as “Other Schtuff” so that if you just want to read about T.V., it’ll be easy to recognize and you can scroll down. Wow, giving readers a way to skip my work. Already off to a great start, today.
Other Schtuff- Today I’ll be talking about the Golden Globe nominations, but before I do that, I’d like to discuss the Grammies for a second. Each year the Recording Academy of Whatever and Ever Amen, gets together to honor the best in music. Or so that’s their intent, at least. It never works out the way though. Being a fan of independent music, I’m used to most of my favorites being snubbed. That’s understandable. I don’t expect an album that makes as much as Blade Trinity did over the weekend, to be acknowledged by an Academy that presents their awards on national television. However, I expect a little thought put into who gets nominated, so that maybe these golden gramophones wouldn’t be seen as being worthless. Remember the B-Sharps episode of the Simpsons when Homer throws the Grammy out the window and that hapless chum picks it up, thinking it’s something valuable. Yeah, that’s an accurate assessment on my feelings towards the Grammy’s. Here’s three of the many reasons why IÃ¢â‚¬Ëœm keeping that stance after this years nominations have been announced-
1. The fawning over Joss Stone. Her gimmick is that she’s supposed to be the “natural one”, an invigorating alternative to the soulnessness of Duff, Spears, and Simpson (Chose your pick). The reality is that she still has the millions of industry dollars those others do, and doesn’t writer her own songs. The idea of her being creative and original in any sense is a faÃƒÂ§ade. The truth is that she’s a decent singer, no better or worse than the dozens of Idol wannabes that over-saturate the bargain bins with their undeserved releases. What also bugs me, is that they decided to stick her album “Mind, Body, and Soul” in the Best Female Pop category. Pop? Is this pop? Look at the last word in the title: Soul. It’s an R&B album people. It’s okay to admit it, white people release those too.
2. Nominating U2’s “Vertigo”- The album “How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb” missed the deadline to be considered for the nomination process. But the single didn’t! Come on now. Does this mean that material from the same album can win two years in a row? Yup. Shouldn’t we make some kind of rule that states “No album, or any material from it can be nominated for more than one year. It’s bad enough they nominate bonus tracks from greatest hits albums and re-releases, which are basically cheap ploys to get fans to buy stuff they already have.
3. “Let’s Get It Started”- I’m guilty as charged for raising a muck about this in the staff forums, and cantankerous old me couldn’t help but drag it into my own column. Track 3 from “Elephunk’ (Which was nominated for several awards at last years Grammies, ugh) from the Black Eyed Peas is titled “Lets Get Retarted”. The single, released earlier this year was changed to “Let’s Get it Started” and is being nominated for record of the year. I still don’t know the official reason as to why it was changed (If you know, please send me an e-mail), but from what I can guess it was done to maintain the bands newfound “Where Is the Love” image. They even took out the word epilepsy. This is P.C. censorship at it’s worst. The Recording Industry had a chance to take a stand against it but instead are supporting it. Fuck em, f*ck em dearly.
Let’s get retarded with this years television golden globe nominations. I often forget they reward T.V. since most the press coverage is reserved for the movie awards, what with the Oscars close by. Here’s my picks and thoughts on this years television nominees. I probably won’t even care by the time the awards air, so it’s best I do this.
BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
THE SOPRANOS (HBO)
Shouldn’t be there and what should instead- Lost. Now before you jump down my throat, I stand firm by this decision, not because of the quality of the show, but because the season isn’t over yet. When a television show is awarded, I assume it’s for the full seasons worth of episodes. If they were handing out awards to individual episodes, it would make sense to have a new show on there, but they’re not. I’d go with The Wire in its stead.
Should win- Deadwood. When’s the last time we had a good western on T.V?
Will win- Lost. It creates further buzz.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
EDIE FALCO THE SOPRANOS
JENNIFER GARNER ALIAS
MARISKA HARGITAY LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT
CHRISTINE LAHTI JACK & BOBBY
JOELY RICHARDSON NIP/TUCK
Shouldn’t be there and what should instead- Christine Lahti, but for the same reason Lost shouldn’t be there. I don’t think Garner should be there either. I’m kind of surprised Tamblyn was snubbed. Not the biggest fan of Joan of Arcadia, but her work is admirable on the show.
Should win- Out of the nominees listed, I’ll go with Richardson. Haven’t seen as many episodes of Nip/Tuck as I should have, but I like what I’ve seen.
Will win-Garner. I don’t see her winning Emmys or Oscars anytime soon, but the Globes have lower standards, and won’t hesitate to award this rising star.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
MICHAEL CHIKLIS THE SHIELD
DENIS LEARY RESCUE ME
JULIAN MCMAHON NIP/TUCK
IAN MCSHANE DEADWOOD
JAMES SPADER BOSTON LEGAL
Shouldn’t be there and what should instead- This is a very strong, unconventional list. The lack of Gandolfini is surprising, but acceptable. Spader should be nominated for the last season of the Practice, not the first season of Boston Legal. And if they’re going to nominate new shows that aren’t done with their seasons, they should’ve nominated Taye Diggs for Kevin Hill.
Should win- Ian McShane. He got dicked over big time by the Emmys and that’s an oversight that needs to be corrected.
Will win-Spader. He’s riding high, and will continue to do so.
BEST TELEVISION SERIES – MUSICAL OR COMEDY
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT (FOX)
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (ABC)
SEX AND THE CITY (HBO)
WILL & GRACE (NBC)
Shouldn’t be there and what should instead- Those two shows I review should be there!! Will and Grace is garbage. Never liked Sex and the City but I think that’s more of a preference than an indication of the shows quality. Entourage just wasn’t funny to me. Desperate Housewives isn’t a comedy. It’s a drama with comedic moments. A lot of what makes the comedy work is that you don’t always expect it. Curb Your Enthusiasm, the years funniest show isn’t nominated, and that’s a real shame. At least we don’t have the awfulness that is Everybody Loves Raymond and Friends.
Should win- Well, the only show I like and watch with any regularity out of the five is Arrested Development.
Will win- Desperate Housewives. ABC is going home with dual wins. I can see it now. A foreshadowing of things to come in September?
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – MUSICAL OR COMEDY
MARCIA CROSS DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
TERI HATCHER DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
FELICITY HUFFMAN DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
DEBRA MESSING WILL & GRACE
SARAH JESSICA PARKER SEX AND THE CITY
Shouldn’t be there and what should instead- Three nominations out of five. Damn. That’s a bit excessive. I definitely don’t think mini-Streissand or Stacy (me and my pet names) should be there, nor should the Housewives trio. Cheryl Hines is long overdue for a win at something and should’ve been here. I’d also go with the girl from Dead Like Me (drawing a blank).
Should win- Cross. She is the most desperate of housewives.
Will win- Hatcher. She’s the closest thing to a moral compass on that show, and voters tend to go for that.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – MUSICAL OR COMEDY
JASON BATEMAN ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
ZACH BRAFF SCRUBS
LARRY DAVID CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
MATT LEBLANC JOEY
TONY SHALHOUB MONK
CHARLIE SHEEN TWO AND A HALF MEN
Shouldn’t be there and what should instead- David plays himself. Is he funny? Yes. Is it a display of good acting? Not really. Jason Bateman is the straight man on a show where all of the quirky supporting characters over shadow him. My hatred for friends keeps me from liking Joey, though I saw the pilot and didn’t laugh once. Sascha Brown from Da Ali G Show should be here with all the characters he does. As should Darrel Hammond, the only reason to watch SNL.
Should win- ShaloubÃ¢â‚¬Ëœs performance is leagues above anything else here..
Will win- Shaloub. You gotta have faith.
BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
AMERICAN FAMILY Ã¢â‚¬” JOURNEY OF DREAMS (PBS)
IRON JAWED ANGELS (HBO)
THE LIFE AND DEATH OF PETER SELLERS (HBO)
THE LION IN WINTER (SHOWTIME)
SOMETHING THE LORD MADE (HBO)
Shouldn’t be there and what should instead-
Should win- Something the Lord Made- The Lion of the Winter is good, but it’s been done before, and better. The Sellers film is more notable for the performances than anything else.
Will win-Something the Lord Made. If not for the juggernaut that was Angels In America (rewarded at last yea’s Globes) this would have easily won. It will here.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR A MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
GLENN CLOSE THE LION IN WINTER
BLYTHE DANNER BACK WHEN WE WERE GROWN UPS
JULIANNA MARGULIES THE GRID
MIRANDA RICHARDSON THE LOST PRINCE
HILARY SWANK IRON JAWED ANGELS
Shouldn’t be there and what should instead- The Grid was crap and Margulies did nothing special or of merit to earn this nomination. I never saw The Lost Prince or Grown Ups. There’s a performance I saw this year that blew me away in this category, but for the life of me, I just can’t remember it.
Should win- Close. When Patrick Stewart is in top form it’s not easy for many actors to keep up with him, but Close did it. This role showed that she is a true actress and not just a movie star. Well done.
Will win- Swanks loss in the movie category will be compensated for here.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR A MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
MOS DEF SOMETHING THE LORD MADE
JAMIE FOXX REDEMPTION
WILLIAM H. MACY THE WOOL CAP
GEOFFREY RUSH THE LIFE AND DEATH OF PETER SELLERS
PATRICK STEWART THE LION IN WINTER
Shouldn’t be there and what should- Five talented actors who mastered their roles. I though Rickman was better than Mos Def, but donÃ¢â‚¬Ëœt mind that he was nominated. The Wool Cap was schmaltzy pap, but damn, Macy hit a homerun with it.
Should win- Rush. He’s the only reason to watch that movie. Foxx will get his for Ray.
Will win-This is a tough one. Five brilliant performances. I’ll go with Rush although any of them would be fine.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
DREA DE MATTEO THE SOPRANOS
ANJELICA HUSTON IRON JAWED ANGELS
NICOLLETTE SHERIDAN DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
CHARLIZE THERON THE LIFE AND DEATH OF PETER SELLERS
EMILY WATSON THE LIFE AND DEATH OF PETER SELLERS
Shouldn’t be there and what should instead-Wow, they really crammed a lot in to make this one category, huh? Can someone’s performance from a two-hour movie be aptly judged against anothe’s in a twent-two episode show? Not really, but I’m working with what I’m given here.
Should win- Huston. She was gold in that movie.
Will win- Nicollette Sheridan. That’ll show those bastards in the NFL. Actually, as dumb as that logic sounds, I think it might work.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
SEAN HAYES WILL & GRACE
MICHAEL IMPERIOLI THE SOPRANOS
JEREMY PIVEN ENTOURAGE
OLIVER PLATT HUFF
WILLIAM SHATNER BOSTON LEGAL
Shouldn’t be there and what should instead-Platt. How many episodes of Huff were there before the voting ended? Hayes, while good for what he does, has been doing the same one-note schtick. Can we please move on? As for who should be there, Jeffrey Tambor and David Cross from Arrested Development. Both steal every scene that they’re in on the show, Tambor moreso with his dual roles.
Should win- Shatner. Isn’t it awesome having him back on weekly T.V.?
Will win- Hayes. I just can’t be happy.