Recapped: Desperate Housewives – Episode 10

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Back with another recap as there’s some mail in the mailbag for a change:

“Hey, it’s Jed Shaffer from IP Wrestling. Just had a comment/question about Desperate Housewives.

I’ve noticed in your recaps you keep saying that it’s Mary Alice in the chest? Where did you get this idea? I don’t remember them mentioning it, and the logistics of it are almost impossible; Paul would’ve had to steal the body prior to the wake, stuff it in the chest, put it in the backyard, underneath their in-ground pool, cover up the hole in the pool, fill the pool in time for the gathering at his house, then dig it back up to dispose of the chest after the party. It’s totally impossible, not to mention confusing; why would he need to hide his wife’s body anyway?

No, I think the body in the trunk is Dana. It’d make more sense. Just a thought.

Otherwise, good recapping. For the two eps my wife and I missed, your recaps have filled in the holes right nicely.

Jed”

Okay, I’m no whiz on bodies decomposing, so I have no idea how long it would take Mary Alice’s body to become just bones.

It does make more sense for it to be Dana’s, since that seems to be a children’s chest that they would have at a young age. The question is, why dispose of Dana’s body now? Perhaps Paul was scared that the suicide would seem suspicious and a further search of Paul’s household would uncover a much, much more horrible truth? If not, why would the Youngs wait so incredibly long to get rid of such a terrible memory?

And that’s it for all the mail in the mailbag, remember, if you have any comments about any episode of Desperate Housewives, drop me a line at johnduran@4sternstaging.com. Good e-mails are e-mails that bring up subjects that I haven’t gone very in-depth about. Like why Carlos was arrested. I might touch on that more this episode, though.

On with the recap!

Previously, on Desperate Housewives: Zach Young goes missing from the juvenile looney bin, and ends up in Julie Mayer’s room, unbeknownst to Susan. Julie and Zach also seem to have hit it off. Interesting and scary at the same time. Lynette goes nannynapping, taking a very lovely babysitter under her wing. Carlos is arrested for some unknown reason, as Gabrielle is left to worry about not only why Carlos is in jail, but also a heavy conscience since she STILL hasn’t told him about her affair with John. Maisy Gibbons is brought up, as it has been covered in previews that she is making her return, and finally, Bree and Rex argue about the sex again, as Bree says that Rex isn’t getting something from their sex life, but he’s simply too afraid to ask for it.

We open on the Dead Woman Narrating introducing us to Maisy Gibbons and diving into her life a little bit deeper. Is she the new replacement Housewife for Mrs. Huber, perhaps? While her mornings were spent running errands for her husband and her evenings were spent washing dishes and helping her children with their homework, her afternoons were done in the company of men. Men willing to pay money so that they don’t feel so lonely. Whattaslut. One of her random men asks Maisy if it’s hard to keep her secret a secret, but Maisy points out that it’s not just her secret. The way she sees it, she carries the secrets of all the men she sleeps with, and that’s just exhilarating. Maisy brings up a story about her husband losing his job and thus having to give up their membership to the local country club. A fellow woman asked Maisy why she hadn’t been around lately, and when Maisy explained that they just couldn’t afford it, Maisy hated the look of pity in the women’s eye. The man asks if feeling sorry for someone is so wrong, but Maisy points out that they’re being supportive when they say something, but they say nothing when they think that a person is so far gone they’re never coming back. Karma works in mysterious ways, however, as Maisy mentions that this women’s husband became one of her regulars once she started “her little hobby.” Just to be clear, her little hobby is having sex with random men for money. And here I am, collecting baseball cards. Anyway, the doorbell rings and Maisy asks the man to go out the back, since the next appointment is arriving. It’s this woman’s husband. And wouldn’t you know it, it’s Rex Van De Kamp. Dun dun dun. Well, at least we know he isn’t gay.

You’re watching Desperate Housewives, the show that’s going to get curbstomped by the competition in the Golden Globes competiton for Best Comedy Series.

Cut to a courtroom as Dead Woman Narrating talks about the variety of characters in a “morality play”. Now, I actually had to look this one up–not knowing what the hell it was–and found that it is a form of medieval play. Anyway, there are a certain cast of characters in these plays: The innocent victim…and we go inside the courtroom to focus on Gabrielle…the deceitful villian…cut to Carlos…a prosecutor who seeks the truth…some random woman who’s looking to put Carlos in the Man Jail ((c) Quagmire)…a magistrate who dispenses justice…cut to a judge who also falls under the category of some random woman…and a lawyer who charges too much…some random man. What an interesting cast of characters, eh? At the Fairview County Courthouse, this morality play was being produced, and its themes were trust and betrayal. Miss McReady, the prosecutor, wants to deny Carlos bail on the basis of the case–the team of Carlos and Tanaka imported goods manufactured by slave labor, Tanaka has already fled the country and Carlos refuses to give up his passport. The judge asks Carlos where his passport is, and his lawyer mentions that it has been temporarily misplaced. However, he fully believes that Tanaka set up and executed the entire operation and made Carlos the scapegoat for the fallout. Carlos wasn’t a business partner, just a hired contractor who is the sole provider for his wife and his mother who is, of course, in a hospital due to some unknown assilant Van De Kamp. The judge insists on having the passport just in case, and until then bail is denied and Carlos is remanded. Gabrielle looks disappointed…

…as we jump to the Scavo house, with Lynette trying to convince her children to chow down on some brussels sprouts. The kids hate brussels sprouts, however, and Lynette mentions that the positive thing is that they help them grow. Lynette tries to cheese up the sprouts a little bit, but the kids refuse and bolt from the table as if a ghost had suddenly appeared. Claire arrives and asks Lynette about a lunch that she was supposed to have, but Lynette says that she is planning on cancelling it since the boys are more excited than usual. Claire knows her way around the house, however, since she’s been around for two days, but Lynette doesn’t want to shock them by suddenly disappearing. Claire assures her that she can handle it, however, and tells Lynette to take off and enjoy her lunch. Lynette offers the cell phone number just in case of an emergency, and then takes off.

Cut to the Mayer household, as Julie lies about having a lot of homework and thus needing to eat upstairs. Susan then notices that Julie is getting a nice helping of Chinese food and questions if she’s storing up some for winter, but Julie lies again, saying that she’s just really hungry. Julie then mentions that through a conversation with her father and Susan’s ex-husband, Brandi and the ex might be on their way to Breakupland. Susan seems pleased, until Julie announces that because of this, her dad won’t be able to take Julie for the weekend. Julie then excuses herself to her room as Susan and Mike look a little staggered. Susan is disappointed that their romantic weekend is off, but Mike offers to move it to his house. Susan wants it to be special, however, and it can only be special by having her things around her. Such things as perfumes and oils and a choice of the outfit that Susan is going to have ripped off by the Creepy Plumber. Oh, and Susan wants to be in complete control of the lighting. Yeah. Thus, Mike is willing to put it back in his pants and wait until the next weekend, and Susan thanks him for being such a sweet guy. Susan and Mike share a kiss that completely gets out of control very quickly, and Mike and Susan both admit that they can’t wait until next weekend. Mike wonders if they can get away with it while Julie is at school the next day, but Susan is busy with her writing. Friday’s no good either since Mike is repiping a house. Susan hates Karl for keeping her from having sex even after they’ve divorced.

Quick cut to Zach in Julie’s room as Julie doesn’t know how much longer Zach can keep hiding. Julie thinks that it is time to tell her mother about Zach, and quickly adds that Zach can trust Susan. Zach immediately gets paranoid at that statement, wondering if Julie spilled the beans about Zach and Dana, but Julie said that she would never say anything about that. Zach gets up and gets ready to go, since he doesn’t want to cause Julie any problems, but Julie stops him and promises not to tell her mother after all. Zach assures her that he’ll think of some way to get out of her room in time.

Over to the Van De Kamp residence, as Rex arrives home to Bree playing cards. It’s late, and Rex wonders why Bree is still up. Rex is asked the same question, but Rex is preparing to go to bed; besides, he didn’t ask for Bree to wait up for him. After all, Rex is there as the father of her children, not her husband. Bree sniffs Rex’s coat, and then asks Rex if he was with a woman. Bree doesn’t wait for an answer, wondering if Rex telling women that he has a wife ruins his pickup style. Rex tells Bree that even if he was seeing a woman, he has every right to, since being separated means that you have the opportunity to explore your options. “‘Options’? I’m not a mutual fund, Rex.” Rex suggests that Bree meet someone herself, but Bree mentions that she is raising his children. Rex is just trying to move on with his life, though. Bree suggests that Rex just go ahead and call this woman and invite her over. Bree will pull out the sofa bed and Rex and her can just have fun right there on the sofa bed. Yee-haw. “Andrew! Danielle! Daddy’s gonna fornicate for us!” Wow, that’s good stuff. Rex wants Bree to keep her voice down, and Bree wonders if that’s because Rex is feeling ashamed. Rex has no answer, and Bree just storms off.

And now, a word from our sponsors…good opening, certainly a lot hotter than last episode’s opening. The Carlos thing seems to not be moving very quickly, but I’m going to give it some time, obviously.

Return to Mrs. Huber’s house, as Dead Woman Narrating explains that no one knew where Mrs. Huber was and Edie was starting to get worried, as shown knocking on Mrs. Huber’s door impatiently with newspapers piled up on her front porch. And besides, Edie didn’t like worrying since she felt it gave her wrinkles. So, to show concern for her face…and Mrs. Huber…Edie decided to get to the bottom of it.

Cut to Gabrielle searching frantically for Carlos’ passport and suggesting that Yao Lin search through the bedroom for it. Yao Lin seems apprehensive, however, since with Mr. Solis in jail, she doesn’t know how she’s going to get paid for her services. Gabrielle breaks down quickly, wanting her help, and gives her her paycheck three weeks in advance. Yao Lin still isn’t sure if this check is going to work, but Gabrielle points out that people don’t just become poor overnight, so there is no need to check with Gabrielle’s bank. Then Gabrielle looks outside and notices her car being hooked up to a tow truck. Gabrielle rushes out to yell at the tow truck driver, as the driver explains that the government is impounding it. Off goes Gabrielle’s car, and a couple watches on in shock. Gabrielle begins to worry for her status in the neighborhood, so she quickly makes a cover story of the paint job on the car not being perfect. That Gabrielle, such a quick thinker.

Lynette is worrying about how the kids are doing with Claire back at her house, and Bree suggests that she stop worrying about the kids now that she finally has some free time. Lynette doesn’t really know Claire, however, and is already having her doubts about whether or not Claire can handle it. Wasn’t this the best nanny that money could buy, though? Anyway, Bree suggests that Lynette invest in a hidden camera if she is so concerned about the quality of Claire’s babysitting. Lynette laughs at that idea, but Bree mentions that people will do terrible things when they think that they’re not being watched. Lynette feels that videotaping Claire would be a breach of trust, but Bree mentions that trust is overrated. That switches the conversation over to Rex and Bree, as Lynette asks about the status of that relationship. Bree insists that things are fine, even though she’s not certain what Rex is planning. She has faith that Rex will make the right decision, which is why she is ironing his shirts. Lynette thinks that it’s good to have faith in people, but Bree still suggests that she buy that hidden camera.

Over to Susan, who is licking some envelopes for no good reason. She looks out the window and lusts over Mike for a moment and then gets a bright idea. She gives Mike a little ringy-dingy and makes up a story about her oven being on the fritz and needing help finding her pilot light. Susan then slips into something a little bit more comfortable, spreading rose petals on the bed and playing some Al Green to set the mood. Yeah, Al Green. Susan continues to prepare the sex-fest, and then notices that she needs candles. She grabs the candles from Julie’s room…and walks out as Zach stands behind the door, barely being able to hide…!!!!!!! That was awesome. Susan lights her candles and I suddenly remember what happened the last time Susan was around sex and candles…as there are footsteps following the petals across the floor. Susan assumes that it’s Mike and invites him up to her room, but I know and most of the others probably assume that it’s Zach. Sure enough, he’s sneaking out, but Mike is right there, and Zach scampers back up the stairs. Susan is kinda worried now, and wonders if Mike is actually there. Here comes Susan to peak out her door, and she has a Thighmaster for a weapon just in case that there is something sneaky going on. Susan takes a swing at someone around the corner…and it’s Mike, as he gets a faceful of Thighmaster. Susan immediately apologizes, assuming that Mike was someone else. Mike wonders if that was why she took her clothes off, but Susan says that her clothes were already off and she was going to seduce Mike. The Creepy Plumber points out that that didn’t exactly work and Susan apologizes again. She kisses and makes it better…but Mike notices something behind Susan…Zach.

“Please don’t be mad.”

And now, a word from our sponsors…I’m liking it how the Julie/Zach and Mike/Susan storylines are intertwining since they’re happening in the SAME HOUSE, and it actually gives some spice to the Mike/Susan storyline, because now Mike is going to be a little freaked out that a crazy boy escaped from a mental institution to shack up with Susan and her daughter. Nice work.

Julie returns home to Zach, Susan, and Mike, and tries to feign surprise at Zach’s apperance. But the Seducer and the Creepy Plumber know best.

Meanwhile, Claire is getting the boys some ice cream while Lynette sets up the Nanny-Cam. She sets the camera up in a strange frog like cookie jar, getting a nice view of the living room and the kitchen, and then grabbing a teddy bear to make sure that the camera can catch things that she hopes she doesn’t have to catch, like Claire rocking the baby…and then shaking it violently!…and then slapping it around!…and then tossing it away!

Back to the Mayer’s house, as Julie protests that Zach can’t go back to the mental institution. Susan doesn’t know what else to do, however, since Zach simply can’t stay in this house. Creepy Plumber adds his opinion that Paul is Zach’s father, so he has a right to know if Zach is okay. And if Paul should find out that Susan and Julie are hiding Zach in the Mayer house, they could be in a lot of trouble. Yes, in more ways than one. I can just imagine Creepy Plumber Mike and Just Plain Creepy Paul going toe-to-toe. Susan completely agrees with Mike and apologizes again for doing what she has to do. Julie makes one last plea, but Zach takes the bullet and says that he’ll be fine and that everything will be okay. Zach and Julie hug, and Mike offers to take Zach over to Paul. Susan makes sure that Mike understands what to do should Paul freak out over seeing Zach. Mike understands that he is to bring him right back, and Susan thanks Mike for going out of his way. Zach and Mike take off, and Susan is ready to talk with Julie about what she did. Julie doesn’t feel like talking, however, and storms up the stairs.

Outside the Mayer house, Mike and Zach are walking up the walk to the Young household, and before going to the door, Mike offers Zach his cell phone number, just in case things get really bad. Mike then walks up to the door, giving it a knock as Paul answers and immediately sees Zach. Paul is relieved, and gives Zach a hug…which Zach is not willing to reciprocate. Paul wants to question Mike about how he found Zach, but Mike suggests that they talk later and takes his leave, but not before reminding Zach one more time that he is free to call anytime the situation gets sticky.

Over to Maisy, who’s with Rex again. Maisy has caught wind of Rex moving back in with Bree, and Rex explains that there was some trouble with Andrew that needed straightening out. Maisy thinks that Rex doesn’t want to leave Bree, and Rex doesn’t want to be psychoanalyzed. Maisy thinks that Rex still loves her, and Rex never said that he didn’t still love her, but then why go for a divorce? Rex is wondering if Maisy is rooting for them to end up working it out, but Maisy silences that talk right away with a firm right hand on her dresser. She just dismisses it as being a romantic at heart. Maisy asks Rex whether he prefers scarves or cuffs, and Rex leaves that choice up to her. Rex than continues with the matter at hand, mentioning that even if Rex could get over Bree’s obsessive-compulsiveness, it’s not the only problem in the marriage. Rex has certain needs. Boots or stilettos? “Stilettos…..please.” Maisy wonders why Rex doesn’t just ask Bree to do the things that he wants to do, but Rex just thinks that Bree will say no. Maisy points out that even she has said no to some of the things Rex has asked her to do, but that’s different. He doesn’t care if Maisy rejects him. Maisy turns into the dominatrix, putting Rex on the floor with a snap of her fingers, and then asks Rex to trust her when she says that sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the ones you love. Maisy then warns Rex that what she’s about to do might hurt a little bit. And with that, Maisy just walks right over Rex in her stilleto heels. Rex is a god damn freak.

Gabrielle is angry at the laywer who charges too much over the loss of her car, but the lawyer points out that Tanaka is still at large and the prosecution is playing hardball, trying to get Carlos to change his story and give up the goose. Gabrielle’s car is not the only thing that they can take, in fact, anything can be taken from them if it can be traced back to ill-gotten gains. Gabrielle can’t believe that, since she points out some of the things that she had from her modeling career before she even met Carlos. Gabrielle has gone from rock bottom to the top to afford these things, and she does not want any of it taken away from her. The lawyer suggests that Gabrielle find a good hiding place, since they can’t take what they can’t find. The lawyer also suggests that Gabrielle “scare up” that passport. Gabrielle continues to look frustrated…

…as she goes over to Bree’s house, allowing Bree to borrow Gabrielle’s china that she knows she’s always wanted. Bree thinks that’s very thoughtful, and then Gabrielle asks if it’s okay to store some odds and ends in the Van De Kamp garage. Bree seems willing…and it’s a good thing that Andrew’s car is no longer in that garage. Anyway, Gabrielle unloads all her personal belongings, rolling them on her couch as she goes over to Bree’s garage. Bree is shocked at the amount of odds and ends that Gabrielle has decided to store.

Back to Maisy’s, as Rex is moaning as we get nice closeup photos of Maisy and her family, listening to the background noises…and then Rex begins to make gasping noises. The fun and games are over, as Maisy is forced to call for an ambulance. Bree gets the call about Rex in the hospital…and Bree zooms right over there…as we find out through Bree’s frantic need to see Rex that Rex had a heart attack. The nurse at the desk informs Bree that he is being prepped for surgery, but Bree just wants to poke her head in really quick since she’s his wife. The nurse is surprised at this, but then quickly covers it up by saying that she was thinking of a different patient. Ooh. Maisy lied to save her reputation. Whattatrooper. And a slut. Bree takes matters into her own hands, looking at the log of patients and finding that Rex Van De Kamp was signed in by one Maisy Gibbons. Bree looks understandably shocked, understanding immediately that this is Rex’s mystery woman.

And now, a word from our sponsors…well, Rex having a heart attack sure came out of nowhere. Good episode so far. Hopefully they can keep this going.

Claire prepares for bed, unaware that somewhere else in the Scavo house, her day was being reviewed by Lynette on the Nanny-Cam tape. Lynette was relieved to see that Claire was doing a good job…but then notices that she might be doing her job a little too well…as Claire gets a three-bear hug from the Scavo kids…the same hug that Lynette uses. Womp womp womp.

At the Mayer’s, Susan returns the candles that she borrowed from Julie’s room in the failed seduction. Julie tries to blow Susan off, but Susan can’t believe that after everything that Julie has done, Julie is angry at her mother and not the other way around. However, Julie gave Zach the impression that Susan could be trusted, so Susan turned him in. Someone had to be held responsible for Julie’s actions, however, and since the birth certificate does say that Susan Mayer is Julie’s mother, she decided to pitch in with her efforts. Julie wonders how long Susan has been a mother, however, since ever since Karl left, if there’s been a mother around, it’s been Julie. That’s a pretty solid point, since Julie has been the voice of reason in Susan’s crazy life that is spent 99% of the time over the Creepy Plumber. Julie mentions a time after the divorce that Susan stayed in bed for a week and Julie had to beg her mother to eat something. For weeks, Julie had to keep the house clean, pay the bills, and schedule her own doctor’s appointment. Susan tries to defend herself by explaining that she was in bad shape back then, but Julie insists that it’s still going on, but now that Julie needs her mother’s help, Susan decides to not help at all. Zach had to be turned in, or they faced a good amount of trouble, and that’s a good point even though neither of them know what Paul is capable of. Julie mentions that Zach is now the one in trouble since he has been sent back to his father, a man who hates him. This is news to Susan, however, as Julie storms up the stairs to her room.

Gabrielle walks around her now very bare house, realizing that in the end, there was only one thing that she truly missed–Carlos. The doorbell rings, and there’s the FBI, who have a warrant to search her premises to repossess any goods that may have been obtained illegally. The FBI man soon realizes that that search is fruitless, however, as it’s barebones. Gabrielle explains that they’re not into clutter, and then smiles.

Lynette is ready to read a children’s book to the Scavo kids, but it’s not long before the kids bring up the subject of Claire. Oh man, Claire is going to replace Lynette as a mother figure for the boys. Poor Claire. Maybe Lynette should send Claire over to Paul’s house and explain that Claire has been hiding Zach all this time and Mike was able to grab Zach from Claire’s clutches. Better get out a nice big trash bag for that one. Anyway, Claire has the afternoon off, and Lynette wants to get to reading, but another boy asks if Claire is sick. Lynette says that she’s fine, but she just wanted to spend some time with her children like the good ol’ days. The boys are unimpressed at Lynette’s reading style, however, as Claire uses funny voices when she reads stories. Lynette tries to emulate this, but the boys are still unimpressed, wondering when Claire’s coming back.

Over to Carlos who is having a visitation with Gabrielle. Gabrielle mentions to Carlos that he moved all the stuff out of the house to keep it from the feds, and Carlos apologizes for having to put Gabrielle through all of this. Gabrielle and Carlos go to hold hands, but the guard orders hands to be on the table. Gabrielle knows that Carlos can get through this, since she is convinced that he is innocent. Carlos is proud to see that Gabrielle is holding up well, since he knew that she was a strong woman, but he had no idea just how strong. Carlos recognizes “Gabby” as a good wife and a real partner, and Gabrielle is all verklempt and professes her love for him, explaining that she would give all the possessions in that house to be with him right now, and Carlos says that that sounds pretty good right now. Gabrielle announces that she is going to kiss her husband now, and the guard reminds her to keep her hands on the table as they share a kiss. As they kiss, Carlos explains that there is a false wall on the back of his closet that contains the passport and some papers. Gabrielle is to give the passport to the lawyer and burn the papers. They break the kiss and Gabrielle goes in for another kiss, asking Carlos if he knew what Tanaka was doing. Carlos just advises Gabrielle to burn the papers. Gabrielle is understandably weirded out…

And now, a word from our sponsors…well, that’s a twist in things. I wonder what those papers are all about. Obviously must be something to do with Tanaka and Carlos’ very illegal business.

Back with Lynette pulling into her driveway as Edie walks up, asking if Mrs. Huber left a spare key to her house with her. Lynette denies this, as Edie is worried and Lynette is also curious as to her whereabouts. You know, with all the strange things happening in this neighborhood, you would think that Lynette would be a little bit more worried. Edie isn’t so much worried about Mrs. Huber as she is worried about a laptop left inside the house that contains some stuff that she just doesn’t want anyone else to see. Lynette is kinda surprised at that, and wishes Edie good luck with that as Edie then notices that Lynette looks a lot better than she used to be. Lynette mentions the nanny and Edie compliments her on finding a personal nanny, but Lynette says that it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be. Their mothers were smart, you see. No nannies and no day care. Otherwise, the children would eventually find out that there are other women out there who are better mothers than they are. Edie mentions that she had a nanny–well, more like a court-appointed social worker–turns out that Edie’s mother had a thing for bourbon and shoplifting, so she did a little time. Edie’s “nanny” was such a hardass that Edie was very happy to see her mother once she got out on parole. Edie explains that it was the lesser of two evils, and Edie then takes off to find that spare house key.

Over to Susan and Mike, as Susan thanks Mike again for handling things with Zach. Mike hopes that Zach comes out of the situation okay, since he seems like a good kid. Susan mentions that Julie isn’t taking things very well, and accused her of not being a great mother. Mike thinks that she’s been a great mother, but Susan thinks that Julie was kinda right. After the divorce, she did lean on Julie for support quite a great deal. Mike thinks that’s natural, but Susan mentions that she still does it today. Susan just needs someone to talk to about all of her adult stuff and she’s right there. Julie’s so mature that the fact that she’s 13(!!!!!!!!!!!) is forgotten. Seriously, Julie is 13 in this show? I feel so dirty. Anyway, Mike thinks that the good thing is that he’s there now if Susan ever wants to talk about adult stuff. Susan says that she can’t share everything, however, since she might want to talk about the big crush that she has on the plumber across the street. Why is Susan dealing with these formalities with Mike and the giggling? Didn’t they rampantly make out a couple of episodes back? This is ridiculous! Mike plays along all the same, and Susan goes off on a tangent blah blah blah.

Doorbell rings, and it’s Maisy Gibbons answering the door to find Bree. Bree cuts to the chase, asking Maisy if she’s having an affair with Rex.

Over to the Young house, as Zach is picking at his food. Paul asks if he wants some more potatoes, but Zach mentions that he’s already been asked that. Paul apologizes for the mistake, saying that he’s not thinking straight because he’s so relieved that Zach is okay. Zach wonders if this means that he won’t be going back to Silvercrest, but Paul mentions that the violence and Zach’s behavior…Paul didn’t know what Zach was going through. Zach says that all his father had to do was ask. Zach says that he’s been remembering things about when he was little, and now Paul really can’t think straight. Paul says that Zach shouldn’t look back on the past, and Zach says that he can’t help it because they keep popping into his head. Paul suggests that they think of a way to push them back out of his head again, and after an ominous pause…

“More potatoes?”

Zach accepts this time, and we get a closeup of the potatoes. Paul finds it nice to be back to normal…drugged potatoes?

And now, a word from our sponsors…that was just plain weird. The Lynette stuff is pretty boring since I was kinda expecting Claire to be a terrible nanny–but maybe there’s still time to allow this to happen. The Paul/Zach stuff is emerging into the forefront now, as it’s just so weird. Gabrielle/Carlos is a close second, of course. Susan/Mike, without the Zach/Julie stuff, is exposed as boring. Oh yeah, home stretch, too.

Back with Maisy and Bree, as Maisy tells Bree that Rex still loves her very much. Rex did say that. Bree wonders why he’s so unhappy then, and Maisy explains that he has needs and doesn’t think that he can confront Bree about them. Bree wonders if that means he has sexual needs, and Maisy confirms this. Has Maisy fulfilled those needs? Maisy doesn’t have to answer; just smile. Bree finds Maisy pretty brazen to admit in a very subtle way that she just slept with Rex. Bree doesn’t think that anyone would ever speak to Maisy again if the word got out. But Maisy is apathetic to it all, because she’s a whore. After all, Bree may hate Maisy but she hates the humiliation a lot more. Bree doesn’t hate Maisy, however, she pities her. This gets a reaction out of Maisy…as Bree walks off.

Lynette is ready to head off but before leaving suggests that the kids have a vegetable with their corn dogs–brussels sprouts. Claire is unfazed, thinking that her little trick will work–dabbing the sprouts in some cheese. Lynette feigns being impressed with that, knowing that she’s finally proven that Claire isn’t perfect. Sure enough, that night, Lynette watches as the kids throw their brussels sprouts at Claire. Ahahaha, that’s so funny onto something that’s more interesting.

In the hospital, Rex wakes up in his hospital bed to find Bree at the window. Bree says that the surgery went well, and Rex is going to be as good as new. Rex notices that Bree must have been crying, and Bree admits that she has been. Bree was afraid that Rex was going to die, because Bree has so many things to share with Rex. Rex apologizes for having Bree so worried. Rex wonders if he’s strong enough to listen to the things that Bree needs to tell him, and Rex is strong enough. Bree tells Rex that she knows that Rex still loves her…Maisy told her. Rex’s heartbeat kicks up a notch, and Bree whispers as she tells him that Bree is no longer Rex’s wife. Bree is going to find the most vindictive lawyer and together eviscerate Rex. Didn’t the doctor already do that? Bree is going to take away all of Rex’s money, Rex’s family and Rex’s dignity. Bree is thrilled to know that Rex still loves her because she wants what she’s about to do to hurt as much as humanly possible. Rex is glad that he didn’t die before she got a chance to hear that.

Gabrielle finds the false wall in Carlos’ closet, looking at the papers and finding the passport as Dead Woman Narrating mentions the moral of the play: Trust. A fragile thing. Once earned, it gives us tremendous freedom. “But once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover.” As Bree walks into a lawyer’s office. “Of course, the truth is we never know who we can trust.” As we see Susan looking in on Julie who blows her mother off again. “Those we’re closest to can betray us.” As we see Paul putting a trash can out on his front yard and looking around suspiciously. “And total strangers can come to our rescue.” As a policeman knocks on the door of Mrs. Huber’s house with Edie looking on, worried about her laptop. “In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to keep from getting burned.” As we watch Gabrielle throw the papers into the fire.

End show!

What was on the papers? Obvious answer says that it was something that could easily implicate Carlos as being very, very guilty of his crime, and also could reveal where Tanaka could be.

What’s the deal with Zach and his father, Paul? Those potatoes don’t seem to be right. You just don’t zoom in on a shot of mashed potatoes without there beig something horribly, horribly wrong.

Well, next week is the pilot episode again, and I don’t think that there are any new episodes until the new year.