Hello one and all. Welcome to the wrap up of another exciting, death-defying week of internet movie good-ness that is Inside Pulse. Okay, well, maybe not death-defying. I hope everyone has survived the holiday shopping rush and is now all set to sit back, relax, and enjoy the upcoming weekend (Or whatever holidays you do or don’t celebrate). I, for one, love Christmas. Not so much for the material things (Though Santa bringing me some quality DVDs would not go unnoticed), but more so for the spirit and traditions. I know it sounds cliche, but this time of year really brings out a different side of people. Sure, it’s not always what you expect (For your sanity, and the safety of your loved ones, do NOT bring up holidays around J. Kern. Trust me on this) but all in all it’s usually great, and lets people forget, at least for a day, about all the other junk in life.
That being said, this is being written extremely late/early on Christmas Eve (Roughly 1:30am) and the trials and tribulations of moving out of school for winter break and the responsibilites that need to be done at home will make this a short, almost ‘phoned in’ edition this week. Hope that’s understandable, and hey, maybe I can pack it with just enough of that ‘holiday cheer’ to make it worth it.
Grab Bag – Feedback Style
Nothing. At all. *Sob* Why, if it wasn’t for this lovely, delicious, mildly intoxicating holiday egg-nog, that I drink in, err, moderation, this might be depressing. But it’s okay. I mean, no feedback is……not bad feedback, right? Oh, maybe too much nog….
News You Can Use – And WE Abuse
J. Kern and myself return for week three of news commentary/parody/comedy/whatever you’d like to call it. Except one problem – J. Kern went missing for 48 hours, and I had no choice but to go ahead without him. Sorry. Odds are this will be short this week, due to A) It’s been a slow week in news, B) No Kern, and C) It’s Christmas friggin Eve! Anyway, the way this works is the headline is in bold, the actual news story is underneath, and then both Kern….err, and then I offer various remarks on said stories.
Pixar Says NO to Nemo 2, but Disney says YES
Director John Lasseter, one of the driving forces behind Pixar Studios, had ended hopes for a sequel to last year’s hit Finding Nemo. Talking to the Australian Associated Press, Lasseter, who also serves as vice-president for Pixar, stated that there were no plans for an eventual sequel. Pixar has been fighting distributing partners Disney over property rights for their joint ventures, but bad blood has ensured from failiure to renew their pertnership, and Disney’s recent announcement of a third Toy Story, which will be done without Lasseter’s group. Not to help anything, Disney President Roger Iger recently revealed that as far as they were concerned, a second “Nemo” was in the works.
Norty – This is just getting worse with every film announced. First, Disney is stupid to not bend over backwards and give Pixar anything they want. Second, Pixar are Gods and if they say their work shouldn’t be sequel-ized, then to hell with Disney. Pixar has their priorities in order; when was the last time the Mouse House did?
Directors Attached to “Splinter Cell” and The Flash
Variety reports that Paramount Pictures will be adapting Tom Clancy’s video game Splinter Cell with Peter Berg (The Rundown) directing. J.T. Petty and John J. McLaughlin, who co-wrote the video game, will write the screenplay along with Berg. The game follows the plotline of government spy Sam Fisher, as he tries to stop a terrorist organization from disaster. Two games have been released already by Ubisoft and have sold over 6 million copies worldwide.
David Goyer, writer on the Blade trilogy and on Batman Begins, will do a feature film version of The Flash. Goyer will write, produce and direct the movie. DC Comics will finance the film along with Warner Bros. Pictures. The Flash was originally published in 1939 and told the story of a man with the ability to run at super speeds.
Norty – Videogame movies are rarely, if ever, good. Splinter Cell is a fun little anti-terror game, but it’s still an adaptation of a game, and that makes me hesitate a lot. As for the Flash, if Goyer can do with him what he did with Batman, I’m down for the man in red.
X-Men info on the Character of Storm Plus the Spin-offs
One big issue for X-fans, aside from Bryan Singer, is the pending return of Oscar winner Halle Barry as Storm. Since her profile has grown as lot in recent years, the lady has made it publicly known she wouldn’t bother unless she gets a little more to do in number 3. The studio won’t take any chances, apparently, as they are wirting the part with her departure in mind. It seems the plot-drive behind Storm would easily be shifted elsewhere should the character be written out. A simple cameo as well as re-casting are options not dismissed by Fox. The other main focus in the fan community is whether the Wolverine movie would come first. The producers insist the priority is to buckle the original trilogy before releasing Wolvie and Magneto in theatres. Both movies are early development, but any or all of the films could be shot at the same time.
Norty – Screw Halle Berry (Originally a much worse comment, but with Christmas and all, it’s been held in). Damn if she isn’t one of the most over-rated actresses today. If she wants X3 to be the new Storm movie, kick her butt to the curb. Fox seems to have all the right priorities for this movie, including the priority to keep it their priority. Yeah. Spin-offs are fun, but finishing the trilogy first is their best move.
Doom Writer Addresses Fan Concern
Screenwriter Dave Callahan had been the focus of lots of game fanantics’ anger in recent weeks, when news leaked of significant changes made from the game to the feature film adaptation of Doom. The movie, directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak from Callahan’s script, apparently dismisses any reference to Hell, takes the setting away from the moon, changes the Space Marines team to S.W.A.T, and switches the demonic creatures to Resident Evil-like mutants. This, of course, had legions of fans on their feet and asking for blood, especially the writer’s. Back from a visit on the movie set, Callahan decided to set the record straight and address concerns by writing an open letter on the changes and their reasons.
“The thought process has always been to create an extension of the Doom universe that will give fans an interesting new take on the themes that they’ve come to enjoy in the game,” writes Callahan, adding that nothing can top the cinematic experience offered to fans in Doom 3. The themes and elements that you love about Doom are ALL represented strongly in the film…just with some new twists.”
Norty – Well, go figure. A videogame adaptation, that looks nothing like the game, and the writer actually straight up telling the fans about it. I give the guy credit for his honesty. I’d probably be upset if I was a fan of doom, but I can certainly understand where the fans are coming from on this one.
Big Update in the Harry Potter Universe
Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling revealed on her official website she was done with The Half Blood Prince, book number 6 in the Potter series. July 16th, 2005, is now the publishing date.
On her site, she writes “Although I have joked about HP&THBP racing my third baby into the world, I have in fact had all the time I needed to tinker with the manuscript to my satisfaction and I am as happy as I have ever been with the end result. I only hope you feel that it was worth the wait when you finally read it!”
In related news, new images from the next film, The Goblet of Fire, can be seen here.
Norty – Hell yes! I’ll admit in a heartbeat I’m a Potter fan. A new Harry Potter book is awesome. That just helped an already great looking summer look even better. And I’m curious about the next movie too. The book is huge with a lot of content, so I wonder how they’ll handle that. I have high hopes.
More News on Halo 2, Grand Theft Auto Jumping to the Big Screen
Microsoft and developer Bungie are secretly working on a plan to bring Halo to the big screen, as reported earlier this week. The company, who has resisted all previous temptation from Hollywood to turn their franchise video game into a film, is actively developing a Halo film on their own. Microsoft and Bungie are working on their own script, with the help of an A-list screenwriter, and then plan to shop the finished product to studios. There were rumors a short time ago that Bungie had Ridley Scott (Alien) on the top of a short list of directors they’d be willing to work with.
Rockstar Games, the folks behind the Grand Theft Auto series, have apparently turned down Tony Scott and Eminem (among others) but seem to be following in Microsoft’s footsteps. They two are working in-house on a plot and script for a GTA movie. Both studios are intensely protective of their respective franchises and neither project may ever get off the ground if they are unhappy with the quality. As one producer put it to Variety, “They say they don’t need Hollywood, and I don’t necessarily disagree. Their properties are just too valuable.”
Norty – Away, AWAY damn you. Keep them off the big screen. I’m conflicted – it seems like Bungie and the gang have the right idea here, yet they’re developing in-house for a potential future on film. Developing in house could be good, but with so many outside factors to bring it down after the screenplay is created, I still maintain my strong, strong desire to not see Halo (More than GTA) on screen.
Trailer of the Week
Usually, every week sees it’s fair share of teaser trailers for upcoming films released, either in front of theatrical releases or on the internet (Or Both). Each week, I pick one of the more popular teasers from the previous week and get the thoughts of the Movies Staff on them. If you’d like to be included in the future on here, Staffers, drop me a line via e-mail or IM.
This weeks trailer: Sin City
Jon ‘I’ll make any two movies fight’ Bieda: Well, it finally looks like someone decided that a comic book movie should actually look like the comic book. The visual style presented here is mouthwatering to say the least… and with the cavalcade of talent that is assembled in the cast, this might actually be the flick that gives the genre an ever-needed injection of respectability.
Michaelangelo ‘SIN CITY OMFG’ McCullar: JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY!!! I think I just came in my pants! Robert Rodriguez knocked this shit out the park! I gotta say, I was extremely apprehensive when I heard about this movie. Sin City is my favorite comic series, and I was really scared that the distinctive look of the books would be lost in translation, but Robert absolutely nailed it. I am absolutely stoked to see this flick!
Shaun ‘Running out of time’ Norton: I think it’s a solid trailer with an amazing cast and concept. It’s really made me interested in a film I had never heard of before. I have seen a ton of reactions like McCullar’s, and that too makes me interested in it. I might even look up the graphic novels now. Great stuff.
Reviews We Sit Through – For You!
Told you guys we’d get our act together this week. Everyone has a slow week, especially our rag-tag bunch of guys. Unfortunately, my time is beginning to run very short, so this will be very short too. Sorry guys.
Closer – Rob Sutton reviews this film. The cast looks good, the story looks good. So how does it shape up? Check it out here.
Spanglish – I went, I saw, I reviewed. A very solid movie. Read on here.
Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events – Ryan Closs reviews this movie, and it doesn’t turn out to be an unfortunate experience at all. Check it out here.
The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou – Arturo Garcia appears out of no where and drops off an excellent review of an excellent movie before going back to the shadows. Check it out here.
On DVD
Hero – Michaelangelo McCullar reviews this Jet Li film. He likes it a lot. Find out why here.
Collateral – I liked this movie a lot. I didn’t love it, but it was good. Travis Leamons sits down and reviews the DVD, and rates it exactly as I would. Check him out here.
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story – Brendan Campbell returns to reviews with Dodgeball, one of the great comedies of ’04. Sure, most things in it had no point, but….ah, anyway, check out his review here.
We Even Do Columns
Okay, here’s the crazy fast run-through of columns this week.
Brendan Campbell, resident work-horse, does three things pretty well. One, he reviews last weekends box office, two, he posts his Ridiculously Good Looking Movie Column, and third, he previews this upcoming weekends box office. Great job Brendan.
Mr. Michaelangelo McCullar, apparently my whipping boy (More on that next week), has a list of the Top Ten Christmas Movies. So, does that make them ten Perfect Flicks, or just ten good holiday movies? You’d have to ask him. I think the list is missing some things, but otherwise, fantastic work McCullar.
Rob Sutton continues his evaluation of the Bond Franchise. To quote: “Diamonds are Forever and So is James Bond! Woooooooooooooooo!” Check out Badass Cinema and read another great edition of this continuing series.
My buddy Jon Bieda returns for another excellent face off of Movie vs Film. This week, it’s Shrek vs. Rear Window. The result probably won’t surprise many, but that’s okay, because this column rocks each and every week.
Brad Torreano gives you a special Mondo Culto holiday edtion, and he looks at The Top Ten Cult Christmas Movies. It’s a very interesting list, though one that seems incredibly bloody. Good job Brad.
Finally, Guide ditcher J. Kern writes a special holiday edition of Dollar Movie Reviews. He has written 50 Reasons why Dune is the Best Movie Ever. Yes. Fifty reasons. I have nothing more to say on this. Read it for some laughs.
Working in the Holiday – Some Staff and Readers Indicate Their Favorite Holiday Movie
I didn’t get much in the way of responses to my request for people to send in their top holiday picks, but what I did get are pretty nice. Below are some thoughts on the best of the holiday movie bunch.
Readers
Anna B – I’d have to say Home Alone. I’ve always have liked it. It just gives that feel of Christmas and family and togetherness. Plus the snow and the pretty house and how anything is possible at Christmastime and yea, definitely Home Alone.
Bob the Cow – A Christmas Carol, the George C. Scott version. It was dark and foreboding where the other incarnations weren’t, and George C. Scott kicks ass. The worst: Santa Clause Conquers the Martians.
Blatherbeard – The Year Without A Santa Claus. Best christmas movie ever. How can you beat the Heat and Cold Mizer’s? Blue Christmas sung sadly by a cute little girl? HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!
Staff
Ryan Closs – Bad Santa. I am not a fan of all the Christmas sap that comes out every year, I’ve never seen It’s a Wonderful Life, my favourite Christmas-themed TV episode is probably When you Wish upon a Weinstein. So seeing Bad Santa, besides being one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in years, take a crack at all things christmas was wonderful.
Michaelangelo McCullar – A Christmas Story. Needs no explanation.
Eugene Tierney – Christmas Vaction is a must. I have heard a lot about Elf, which I will be seeing soon. This might sound odd, but I like watching Die Hard at Christmas time (1 and 2 last weekend actaully).
Steve Coogan – I’m still a big fan of Scrooged. Hard to believe that movie is 15 years old now, but it’s timeless aside from the fact Bill Murray has aged significantly. Nonethless, it’s one of the best and most fun versions of an American classic that’s been created and Christmas feels a little empty for me when I don’t get a chance to see it.
Rob Sutton – Personally, I always watch Lethal Weapon. Mel Gibson’s trying to commit suicide and there’s all this darkness despite Christmas cheer trying to seep through. I love that movie. Also my girlfriend and I always watch White Christmas every year. She’s loved it since she was a kid and we always end up popping it in. Cheesy but still really entertaining. If it only had a kungfu scene like Lethal weapon does.
Mike Lawrence – The Nightmare Before Christmas. As a huge fan of the Rankin-Bass animated television specials, I always wondered what one would be like on acid. This is it. The stop-motion animation is simply breathtaking. Oogie Boogie Man’s sequences should be shown in art museum. The story is wickedly funny and cynical. It doesn’t try as hard as Bad Santa to be subversive and as such it works much better. The ending is conventional but appropriate. And the songs….I still sing some of them to this day. In the rare case you haven’t seen this film do so immediately, and if you have, watch it again. Also, I’m a sucker for Ernest Saves Christmas. One of the first films I remember seeing. R.I.P. Jim Varney.
Brendan Campbell – So yes, let’s break it down for everyone in genres for Christmas. Family – Jingle All The Way. Comedy – Elf was hilarious, and just had an updated, fun-loving feel to it. It’s also got some great jokes that kids won’t get, but they’ll still enjoy Buddy jumping around like a nut. Action- Die Hard & Lethal Weapon. Gotta love Christmas movies that are filled with deadly explosions, awesome fights, wicked characters, terrorists, and crazy cops! Romance- Love, Actually. Nobody can see this and not have a smile on their face. That’s just the way it is.
Jon Bieda – Well, I guess I’ll be the big schmuck who admits that “Gremlins” is a staple of my childhood Christmas memories. A horde of demented puppets tearing a little town a new a$$hole over the holiday season was quite an alluring concept to a youngin’ back in the day.
Well, there you go, that’s what the staff thinks of Christmas, movie wise. Some interesting picks in there, but most of them are understandable. Personally, I love The Santa Clause with Tim Allen. I think it does everything perfect in a Christmas sense, while maintaining Allen’s adult-like comedy. I also think it captures the spirit of things in a great way too. Honorable mention on my list goes to Scrooged, Home Alone, Elf, and Jingle All The Way (Phil Hartman, you are missed).
The End – Happy Holidays
That wraps us up this week. Next week, expect another (probable) phoned in column, as it will be New Years Eve. Time will tell though. Until then, enjoy this weekend/week. Have a great holiday, everyone, regardless of what you celebrate. Be well, and take care.
Best wishes to one and all.
