The Eyes— The Women Of The Family

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Welcome back for another week of discussion on the top sitcom of our generation, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND.

Last week, we got our feet wet by just looking at a general introduction to the concept of the show. In summary for those of you who missed last week’s column and don’t feel like looking it up this second: Raymond, famous sportswriter for Newsday, lives with his wife Debra, daughter Allie, and twin boys Michael and Geoffrey on Long Island. His parents, Frank and Marie, live right across the street and barge over and interfere constantly; Ray’s obsessive-compulsive police officer brother, Robert, is also thrown into the mix.

This average American family becomes not-so average because of their predicament—they live FAR too close to each other. And there, of course, lies the comedy. In order to have successful and funny comedy, you need to have some source of friction. The source of friction is obvious in this show. Would you want YOUR mother-in-law right across the street from you?

That is where the focus of this week’s column is going to be. I’m going to take you into the relationship between Debra and HER mother-in-law, Marie.

These are two very powerful women, and they have a lot of trouble seeing eye-to-eye, and each vantage point is unique.

Debra is a homemaker, and stays home with the kids and does the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry while Raymond is at work. While it is stressful, she truly does enjoy running around after the children and taking care of them. She is a good wife and a great mother. Unfortunately, her job also gives her the most exposure to Marie, who “drops by” all the time to “help.”

Marie can’t help but be meddlesome. While she seems like a nag, you can’t ignore the fact that it all really comes from love. She cares about her family so much that she wants nothing more than to help them, oftentimes coming on too strong. This is especially evident with Debra. One of the biggest differences between these two women is that Marie is an absolutely amazing cook. Debra is not; as a matter of fact, she is a rather lousy cook.

So, Marie drops by to “help.” This, however, comes off as critical, and it leads to a lot of tension between the two. Debra can’t understand why Marie constantly has to interfere and criticize her for how she raises her children, how she cleans the house, and how she cooks. Marie is completely oblivious to how she comes off on others, and when someone tells her something she doesn’t like, she becomes very defensive, because she is very immature and childish.

Now, obviously, tension is normal in any family. But, once again, you have to factor in how close this particular family is to each other. They’re not only family; they’re also neighbors. Eventually, by the end of the sixth season, they come to a point where they feud, and do not talk to each other for a full three episodes.

The feud is one reason why RAYMOND is such a successful sitcom. These types of relationships are not made up for laughs. If you watch the show, you will find that you can identify with these characters, and the highs and lows of their relationships.

Yes, people feud with each other in real life, and it is possible to get over it and move on. Fighting does not mean an ending”¦it is an opportunity to learn and grow, and while Debra and Marie have their fair share of tensions, disagreements, and arguments, deep down inside, they truly do care for each other. And you laugh when they go to blows with each other because you find it so easy to identify yourself with them.

Obviously, the Debra/Marie relationship is not the only dynamic involved to add to the comic realism of the American nuclear family. Next week, we’re going to investigate another one of these relationships”¦the sibling rivalry of Raymond and Robert.

Of course, there is only so much I can say here”¦.if you really want the full experience of this show, watch it. I can promise you won’t be disappointed.

“See” you next week!