My T.V. Reality: This Will Be My Year

I was going to begin the new year in a negative light, but finding myself here, on the computer on a Friday night in Pennsylvania on the last day of the year, I figured I’d begin the new year in the same positive yet cynical manner in which I view 2004. My vacation away from South Florida to the cold mountains of PA and the cluttered streets of New York hasn’t been the life-altering revelation I was hoping for, but has comfortably landed into that zone of adventures I won’t either regret with shame or dwell upon in adoration. This will be the first of what I assume to be many excursions up north, and I find myself already adjusting to the cold. The extra layers of clothings have become something I’m growing accustomed to wearing inside. Is this what fat people feel like? The extra cushioning, the built in insulation, the instant sweating that comes with anything that remotely resembles physical activity.

Writing this column and working for this site has got me thinking on something. It was still a bit dormant when I was writing my picks for the Emmy Roundtable in September. I didn’t completely lose the idea, but put it back on the shelf with my other numerous thoughts and assorted aspirations. Upon checking out the work of my colleagues here, the idea stirred anew, and the noise it stirred in my head grew even louder when I began my Golden Globe predictions. So now, the time when resolutions are most appropriate, I thought I’d let the idea swell as large as it could to the point that I adress it publicly- I need to watch more dramas. Or any drama for that matter.

Perhaps the ADD, or my long-standing affinity to sitcoms and cartoons, but damnit, I’ve never been loyal to a drama. I mean a serious drama. The kind that win and awards and praise. I’ve watched several sci-fi shows like the Twilight Zone, Outer Limits, and an occasional episode of X-files, but those don’t seem to count among the high and mighty T.V. Gods. Maybe nows a good time to start watching a serious, semi-realistic drama. Well, with six classes, weekly deadlines, and other responsibilities on the rise, it probably isn’t, but hey I could give it a shot. I’ve tried oftentimes in the past, and it never pans out. I’ll start watching, and something will come up, or my interest gives, and I forget the show entirely. Here are some recent examples in which I tried watching a drama but failed-

Desperate Housewives- I liked the sharp writing and dark humor, but couldn’t latch on to any of the characters. Half of them could die, and I still wouldn’t be interested.

Carnivale- Too pretentious and boring for it’s own good. Leading up to a big pay-off conclusion that couldn’t possibly live up to the hype. Plus I have an intense disliking towards Clea Duvall.

Kevin Hill- I like this show. It entertains me well enough, but it doesn’t pull me back week in and week out like a good series should. I’ll miss two or three episodes without being irritated.

Smallville- Being a continuity stickler, I was pissed from the beginning. The stories were mildly amusing but it didn’t feel like Superman to me. If I want to see a teenage hero adjusting to life with their powers, I’ll watch reruns of “The Secret World of Alex Mack”.

Veronica Mars- Bleh.

Gilmore Girls- I watched a few episodes with my fourteen year-old sister a couple days ago and felt out of breath, gasping and praying for a commerical break. No one talks like this in real-life. It’s like watching Abbot and Costello do rapid-fire vaudeville routines, but with vaginas. Are the characters on this show psychic? They seem to know what the other person is going to say, even before they finish saying it ALL THE TIME. Ugh.

Seventh Heaven- I thought that by some bizarro law I would absolutely fall in love with this show since it represents everything I can’t stand about American television. Didn’t work.

Law and Order, C.S.I.- I group these two shows together(and you can throw in their various offspring as well since I’ve given those a shot) for the simple reason that they follow a formula and don’t deviate from it much. Besides, murder bores me easily.

The Practice- Haven’t watched Boston Legal yet, but saw two repeats of David E. Kelly’s former law show from it’s last season and liked it. But the prospects of going back and viewing all the other episodes in order seems daunting. One of the reasons I can’t latch on to dramas.

Lost- Watched the pilot, mildly interested, but realized they wouldn’t get off the island any time, and the whole series is leading up to that moment anyway. The flashback sequences and character turns keep the show from becoming boring, but they also frustrate me.

Las Vegas- This show is downright laughable. I watched an episode, but was joking with my father the whole way through it. I don’t want to go back to a show just do that. Unless it’s Cops.

House- This is another one I can watch every once in a while but can’t find myself watching each week.

Six Feet Under- I checked out the first disc of volume one on DVD and loved the pilot. But……that was the only disc that they had.

Now and Again- I loved this show. So it got cancelled in its first season. Sigh.

Gun- Look above at Now and Again.

Sorry if I trashed one of your beloved shows, but clearly you can see how difficult it’s been for me to latch on to a drama and catch all the episodes. Without TIVO or a recordable V.C.R. it makes it all the more difficult. But, damn I’m making the resolution, and I plan to follow through with it. That’s where you, my loyal readers come in. Is there a relatively new drama that’s easy to catch up on that I could give a chance? I’m desperately trying to broaden my horizons, and don’t want to only be “the cartoon and sitcom guy”. I’m trusting you guys, and I’m betting your up to the task.

I’ll be back next week with that column of negativity. Enjoy yourselves while I enjoy the rest of my vacation.

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