It’s January 8, 2005 and we’re on the air with WWE Afterburn!
Our host today is Josh Matthews. SD was action packed!
JIP, Eddy Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio. Monkey flip by Rey Mysterio. Eddy is put on the second rope, but Rey misses a hurrincarana. Eddy goes for a sunset flip, Rey rolls over and dropkicks Eddy for a 2 count. Whip to the corner, reverse, elbow by Mysterio. Eddy throws Rey into the referee. Eddy has a smile and gets the belt. Eddy puts it on Mysterio and lies down. Mysterio wakes up and puts in on Eddy. The referee wakes up and looks at Eddy, who tries to hide the belt under him. The referee catches him. Eddy pleads with the referee, goes in the 619 position, but ducks it. Eddy cradles Rey, but Rey reverses and covers him the 3 count. Mysterio and Eddy shakes hands. Eddy still doesn’t look too happy.
Coming Up: UT faces Heidenrich in a handicap match
Up Next: Funaki vs Akio, and Carlito does other stuff
Commercials
We’re back with Josh talking about Carlito Cool. This week, he had a petition to remove Theordore Long as GM. The only problem was that it was during a CW match. Well, when else are you going to do it?
JIP, Funaki vs Akio. Carlito Cool is at ringside, getting fans to sign the petition. And there are a lot of them. Even the camera man signs it. In the ring, Akio has Funaki in a sleeper. Akio gets a two count after an enziguri. Akio has an armbar on Funaki. Funaki with a back body drop and a bulldog for a 2 count. Funaki punches Akio, whip into the corner, reverse, Funaki flies and meets Akio’s spinkick for a 2 count. Akio misses a corkscrew and Funaki gives Akio a tornado DDT for the 1, 2, 3. Carlito goes to the sexy Joy and asks her to sign the petition. She declines, so she gets the apple treatment. This is the way you make him cool: a diva hits on Carlito, then they have sex, THEN Carlito dumps her with the apple. In this case, Joy signs the petition because it is Carlito, but Carlito does the apple spit anyways.
Coming Up: Kenzo vs Cena, battle rap
Up Next: Angle gets some
Commercials
Afterburn returns with Josh talking about the Kurt Angle invitational.
Backstage, we see Amy Weber and Kurt Angle talking. Angle says that Weber wants to keep her options open. Maybe Angle does need an image consultant. Amy invites Angle to her lockeroom after his match.
In the ring, Angle wants a 3 minute match with the local hero. If the opponent survives 3 minutes, he gets the medal. Brian Black is the opponent’s name.
Angle vs Black. Angle smacks him with the microphone. After a few kicks, we got the anklelock and that’s the end of that.
Backstage, he goes in Amy Weber’s lockeroom. Before that, he hides his wedding ring.
Next segment shows Angle hearing somebody taking a shower. He takes his clothes off. It isn’t Weber, it’s Joy! Thank god, I thought it was going to be you know who. Angle takes off the towel and likes what he sees. She runs away and Angle runs after her trying to apologise. Angle runs into…Big Show. Big Show runs after Angle and they are in the ring. Angle punches Show, but Show pushes him away. Show chops Angle. Luther and Mark show up, but they aren’t successful. Chokeslam to Jindrak. Angle hits Show with the chair. Doesn’t matter, Show punches the chair away.
And finally, we find out that Amy Weber put her name on the door of Joy’s lockeroom. JBL is happy. Whoever wrote this deserves a freaking Emmy.
Up Next: Kenzo vs Cena, battle rap
Commercials
We’re back with Afterburn.
In the ring, we have John Cena, Michael Cole, Kenzo and Hiroko. Kenzo does a rap about USA and beating Cena for the US title. It is now Cena’s turn and it is good. Especially the one with Cole. Cole is offended by that and leaves the ring. More sexual stuff for Hiroku. Kenzo makes Hiroko sing. Cena now brings out 3 divas. Two are not so good looking, and the other one looks OK. Kenzo agrees with me, as he is attracted to Michelle. She doesn’t feel the same and Hiroku jumps on her. And then, Kenzo attacks Cena. Cena fights back with punches and a kick.
Next week: Kenzo Suziku vs John Cena
Up Next: Heidenrich & Paul Heyman vs UT
Commercials
We’re back with our final segment of Afterburn.
Backstage, Heidenrich and Heyman are with SD GM Long. Paul wants him to reconsider the casket match. As Heyman talks, Heidenrich is worried. Wow, some monster. Heyman wants Long to change the match. If Heidenrich beats UT, the stipulations would change. One more thing, Heyman is Heidenrich’s partner.
Next segment sees Heidenrich punching the wall. Heyman shows up and Heidenrich tells him that he’s not worried, but just like Kamala and Yokozuna, the casket terrifies him. Heyman encourages him by telling him that he wins tonight, there will be no casket match. And if Long didn’t order the match, Heyman would volunteer to be his partner.
JIP, Undertaker vs Heidenrich and Paul Heyman. UT is in control with an armbar. Old School coming, but Heidenrich stops it. Heidenrich punches him, a bodyslam and a few elbows for a 2 count. Chinlock. UT gets out of it with puches, but Heidenrich kicks him for another two count. UT fights back with punches. Heidenrich with knee lift. Off the ropes, duck, flying clothesline by UT. Clothesline on the corner. Snake Eyes and a big boot. Old School on Heidenrich. Undertaker signals for something and men in black show up with two caskets. Heidenrich is worried, tags Heyman and leaves through the audience. Heyman says “I fear you” and one tombstone later, Heyman is put in the casket and that ends the match.
Next Week: Rey & RVD vs Bashams vs Jindrak & Luther vs Eddy & Booker T
That is not going to be an easy match to recap.
Josh Matthews says his goodbyes and that does it for Afterburn.
