InsidePulse’s WWE Afterburn Report

It’s January 15, 2005 and we’re on the air with WWE Afterburn!

Last Week: JBL’s plan works and Show & Angle beat each other up.

Our host today is Josh Matthews. Smackdown was hot! Or so I’ve been told.

JIP, Rey Mysterio & RVD vs Eddy & Booker T vs Jindrak & Luther vs Bashams. Eddy and Rey are legal, and Luther & Jindrak are already eliminated. Monkey flip by Rey and a hurrincarana finishes Eddy for the 3 count. That makes it the third time Mysterio pinned Eddy. Doug comes in and beats on Rey. Tag to Danny. Whip, duck, face first goes Rey. Doug gets the steps and smashes them on RVD’s knee. Cool. Whip to the buckle by Danny and he misses a charge. Rey keeps checking RVD and he doesn’t know whether to go in or help RVD. Two things: if he stays outside and gets counted out, the titles won’t change hands. Second, Rey checking on RVD won’t make the pain go away. Rey goes in and kicks and punches Danny, but Danny is back on the attack. Whip to the corner, shoulder into the gut by Basham. Whip again, but this time, the charge is missed and Danny hits the post. Outside, then back inside, Doug with kicks to Rey. Whip, duck, cross body on Doug for a 2 count. Doug with a suplex for a 2 count. Chinlock, while RVD is taken out on a stretcher. Rey gets out of it, but Doug beats on him. Whip to the corner, Rey puts up the boots, hits Danny and gives Doug a bulldog for a 2 count. Danny is in, spinwheel kick to him. Flying headscissors to Doug and now he is the position for the 619 -> Bang! Rey goes for a spring board something and almost hits the referee. The Bashams do the switch and one sitout powerbomb later, we have new tag team champions. The cabinet comes for the celebration.

Coming Up: JBL gets the man of the year award
Up Next: Angle vs some guy
Commercials

We’re back with Josh talking about Kurt Angle invitational.

In the ring, local wrestler Roderick Strong is with Kurt Angle. Angle asks him what are changes of him beating an Olympic gold medalist. Strong decides to attempt suicide by slapping Angle.

Strong vs Angle. Roderick runs away from Kurt. Back in the ring, Angle’s got him and the beating begins. Strong gets a rollup for a 2 count. Angle with a clothesline. More mat stuff. Strong gets a punch in, but gets German suplexed. One anklelock later, it’s over.

Coming Up: Angle apologises
Up Next: US title match
Commercials

Afterburn returns with Josh talking about last week’s rap battle.

John Cena vs Kenzo Suzuki. Kenzo starts it off with kicks, a chop and punches in the corner. Cena with a tackle and punches Kenzo. Off the ropes, elbow by Cena. Whip into the corner, bulldog by Cena. Five knuckle shuffle, pumps up his shoes and an FU for the cover, the count and the victory. Cena celebrates in the crowd.

Up Next: Cat fight
Commercials

We’re back with Afterburn. Don’t expect to see anymore matches and that’s fine with me.

Backstage, Angle wants to apologise to Joy and does. It looks like all is forgiven. Show says that Angle has guts. Now, another apology is needed: from JBL.

Next segment sees JBL and Big Show. Show wants and apology and gets a halfassed one. Show looks at Amy and tells her to apologise as well. Amy tells Joy that she enjoyed running around naked, because she is a beep! Catfight, but they get separated. Theodore Long ruins the excitement by making them fight in the ring. SD has a lot action, but it has to be done in a nice and organised fashion!

Next segment sees Amy worried.

Another one sees Joy get ready.

In the ring, Joy doesn’t come out and Amy wins by forfeit.

Now we got more segments. Long tells Charles Robinson to look for Joy. Show shows up and Long tells him that everything is under control. Show says it better be, because if she isn’t found, Show will take care of it. The agents (Fit Finley) show up and Long tells them to where to search for her. Heidenrich shows up and wants out of the casket match. Long says no. JBL comes and says that he doesn’t know where Joy is. So what if Joy is gone? JBL wouldn’t kidnap a stupid bimbo when he is getting a man of the year award. Torrie Wilson & Jackie are here and they say that OJ was following Joy. Now, OJ is with Long and says he did follow Joy. Long takes off his glasses. This must be REALLY serious now. OJ just told her that Amy was going to beat her. Show comes out and chokes out OJ. Jordan gives him an alibi. Show tells him that if he had anything with Joy’s kidnapping, he will break every bone in his body.

Up Next: JBL gets the man of the year award
Commercials

We’re back with our final segment of Afterburn.

In the ring, we see JBL, OJ, Bashams and Amy with the president of agriculture. JBL goes into a long acceptance speech. Probably hyping the Golden Globes. Funny line about there being a JBL chant at every breakfast table. Angle’s music plays and shows up. He blames JBL for Joy’s kidnapping. He hears something in the trunk of JBL’s limo and gets the keys to open it: Joy is in there. JBL keeps denying it. Show comes and he isn’t happy. In the ring, Bashams and OJ are pushed away. Show beats on JBL. Chokeslam to both Bashams. Lowblow by OJ. Chair shot on Show. Doesn’t affect him, chokeslam to OJ. A lot of huge chair shots to OJ. Some of them, we don’t get to see.

Finally, it is revealed that Angle was the one who put Joy in the trunk.

Josh Matthews says his goodbyes and that does it for Afterburn.

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