Anyone interested can find me at the Big Apple Comic show hanging at Danielle Corsetto’s booth. Hope to see you!
Now, onto the Rabble returns! Tonight, live from my house! Joining us tonight is Eric G., Erik H., Jenna, Laura, and my darling sweetheart Danielle. We have all joined up for our favoritist thing in the entire world… MON-DAY-NIGH-T-RA-WWWWWWW….
But first, a picture of my friends! (I love this bit…)
The show starts off with an Elimination Chamber and Orton’s #1 Contendership win of last week. Tonight though with some odd booking – Chris Benoit vs. Jericho in a ‘Cheap Pop From Canada Match’ and Kane vs. Snitsky in a No Holds Barred match.
Oh, and without further adieu we start with Y2J and the Highlight Reel – a great feature for the start of the show as it seems the audience is hot. Danielle is already commenting that Jericho is looking hot, but you can make your own judgements about that. Aww crap, he’s being interrupted by Hassan and his manager who I have yet to remember his name.. we shall henceforth refer to him as General Akbar. (IT’S A TRAP!)
Sadly, since Y2J is involved I have to watch this damned bit. Has there been a Highlight Reel where Jericho hasn’t been attacked… well let’s see how it rolls. So Jericho tries to make nice nice by saying that Hassan should be happy he’s not in America.
“When he’s upset, his tablecloth seems to grow.” – Erik on Hassan’s headgear.
So, a good point by Jericho leads to Hassan talking about how stupid Canadians are since they let one of the planes fly out of Canada into New York on 9/11. I stand by the fact that I hate this gimmick. Let’s just wait til he lays out Jericho and move on. Note: Jericho turns General Akbar talking into an amusing plug for Fozzy.
Hey! Wait! Jericho gets the first hit and the Walls. Sadly, Akbar cheapshots him, takes him down and puts him in the camel clutch. Who saves him, but Canadian Hero, Chris Benoit to sell the fact that these guys are friends in the maple leaf.
We come backstage to watch Trips and Ric talking about Batista, shocker. Batista is going to be a little bit late tonight – but Ric isn’t 100% sure. Trips DID say ‘Hoser!’ which was worth it.
COMMERCIAL!
We return and La Resistance is our Tag Champs – they beat Regal and Coach at a house show since Eugene is out with his leg injury. They are teaming with Maven and facing off against Hurricane, Rosey, and Shelton.
LA RESISTANCE & MAVEN vs. ROSIE & HURRICAINE & SHELTON
Shelton starts off in the ring, hip tossing everyone, goes for the inverted back breaker and the pin for two. A tag to Hurricane with a huge dropkick and nothing but offense from Hurricane until he hits the ropes and eats a cheapshot from Maven. Grenier clotheslines Hurricane outside the ring and Conway drops him outside the ring. In just that short moment, Hurricane becomes the face in trouble. Grenier takes the time to hit Benjamin, which is enough time for Hurricane to tap in Rosie. Rosie goes buckwild all over all the heels and tries the pin – but is dropkicked from Maven.
All out of nowhere the heels take this moment to distract EVERYONE and a weak Au Revoir on Rosie for the win.
WINNER: LA RESISTANCE & MAVEN (who never came into the ring to wrestle)
Back behind the stage, Orton has a meeting with Stacy where she congratulates him on his win and kisses him on the cheek for your sexually charged moment of.. never. Please don’t link these two together in an angle… lame lame lame. It never works.
“Test is somewhere, seething.” Erik H. on wrestling relationships.
“Yeah, he wanted to kiss Orton.” Me on Test.
A Stone Cold Press Conference this Wednesday. Crap. He’s coming back.
“Hide your women!” – Erik H on Stone Cold’s penchant for the ladies.
“Amusing how that was shown right after Stacy was on the screen.” Danielle on natural segues.
COMMERCIAL
Returning to the show has Randy Orton coming down to the ring in his dapper little suit. They’re giving him the microphone. “This is the most greatest moment of my life, here in Toronto.” Wow, Canadian English from Orton.
“He’s the bestest too.” – Eric G on English lessons.
He prattles on about how this is the very place he became World Champion. How the night he won the belt he cried. The night after that he bled. He then continues on a fairly strong promo about winning ‘his title’. Interrupted byyyyyyyy – our World Champion Triple H. The counterpromo involves Trips talking about how he turned his back on Evolution, and he lists off everyone he’s beaten. Just as I was going to comment that these are some generic promos going on, Orton interrupts and lets us know that he’s sick of hearing the same thing every month. Trips, in turn, is sick of saying it month after month, day after day.
“SO IIII QUIT!” – Erik H on Trips no longer saying it.
So Orton calls him down and Trips takes his newly flattened hairstyle and starts to head to the ring, then stops himself. He doesn’t have to go to Orton.. Orton needs to come to him. SoooooOOO Orton runs down to the curtain and gets head kabong’ed by Trips. They fight down to the ring and in the ring and around the ring and Orton ends up coming out on top.
SIGN OF THE NIGHT: HHH FEARS DIVORCE
COMMERCIAL!
In the backstage Trips is storming around and he’s pissed. So you know what, he’s going to tell Dave what he thinks of him since he’s raging. Dave though, is right there. He’s gotta talk
Coach is interviewing HBK, who is getting booed to high hell. HBK seems to think Canadian’s haven’t forgotten. So he has “thrown himself on the Canadian Altar and apologized”
“There are too many jokes to even start” – Me on HBK’s religion.
He wants to face Edge to qualify for the Rumble, but is interrupted by Bischoff. He mentions that HBK won the Rumble to go face off against Bret Hart to win the title. So he’s in the Rumble, no problem. Tonight though he’s gotta face CANADA’S OWN CAPTAIN CHARISMA IN CHRISTIAN!
“Irony that HBK is facing off against a Christian tonight” Me on more of HBK’s religion.
For the record, that entire promo between HBK and Bischoff was laden with cheers and jeers at all of the inverted spots that you would have in America, milking the screw job for all it was worth. It’s frigging genius, and really fun booking. I give the ‘E’ credit for playing to their arena without having to go the route of actually performing another Canadian Screwjob.
COMMERCIAL!
Christian is coming on down.
“With his Pat Benetar opening.. CHRISTIAN!” – Jenna on Christian’s ring gear.
Chistian is getting amazing pops, amazing signs, and I can’t wait to hear the boos on HBK. We get a quick flashback to the fight outside the ring, outside the concession stand, outside the arena. Here comes Shawn and the crowd is livid – it’s amazing. Huge Bret sign in the audience. Before the match even starts, Edge comes down to the ring, making this something all of the Canadians can talk aboot for months.
COMMERCIAL!
Back in the ring and they are both unconcious… that’s kind of lame. Lawler mentions that the crowd is in Bizzaro land. They both get up and HBK throws Christian over the top rope as Edge starts to mosey down the ring. Edge distracts and Christian takes full advantage and throws Christian into Tomko where he eats a huge clothesline. Where’s the ref, chatting with Edge about the refineries of the Canadian Legal system. They get back in the ring and Christian hits a beautiful neckbreaker and a pin for 2 – he then moves into a chinlock and a HBK chant starts up from 3 people in the front row – HBK fights out of the chinlock and Christian takes that moment to hits HBK with an acid drop. Pin for a tight 2.
Christian continues to capitalize with a backbreaker and moves into another chinlock, this time lying down. There was an obvious bit of talking between Christian and HBK, but to not break Kayfabe we can assume Christian was calling him mean names. HBK fights his way up again, but almost gets caught in the Unprettier. It moves to fists back and forth and a BIG Thesz Press from HBK, a flying crossbody and does the kick-up to a resounding hateful boo! Edge is setting up across the ring and misses with the spear. He drops an elbow on Christian and starts revving up the Choir!!! Tomko interrupts, Christian tries for the Unprettier – reversed again! Quick Superkick gets HBK the win!
WINNER: HBK
He is then hit with the Spear, and the modified Sharpshooter of Edge’s as Edge screams how ‘HBK SCREWED HIM!’ I, personally, love how the Montreal Screwjob has made it’s way into standard Canadian wrestling cannon – and everytime they head out to Canadia, we get to enjoy it. No, I’m not a huge fan of what happened to Bret, but I am all for the ‘E’ capitalizing now, years later.
COMMERCIAL!
Batista is coming on out and facing… Viscera?!?!?
BATISTA vs. VISCERA
Possibly a Qualifier
Lock up.. and nothing.
Lock up, and Viscera sends them to the corner. Forearms from Batista and he gets tossed back into the corner and moves out of the way as Viscera charges. Shoulder rams into Viscera’s big ol gut. Batista to the top rope and a fist to the back of Viscera’s head.. a top rope Donkey Punch! Nice! Viscera gets up fairly quick, and catches Dave in the Samoan Drop and a big elbow. Viscera tries to Irish Whip and fails – and since we know he ain’t getting a Batista bomb off on him, the OMGWTF Spinebuster to Viscera wins the match for Batista.
The crowd had a huge ‘Ba-Tis-Ta’ chant going. Now, I missed the beginning of this, so it might have been a Royal Rumble Qualifier… assume it was since Batista is going to be in the Rumble.
WINNER: BATISTA!
COMMERCIAL!
Evolution meeting up and they are stroking Dave’s ego pretty hard. And NOPE! That wasn’t a qualifying match for the Rumble. Bischoff told Dave he could have a qualifier and Trips is trying to spin it so Dave DOESN’T enter the Rumble. As a matter of fact, Dave entering the Rumble is selfish. Triple H compares him to Orton. “You’re right, nobody likes a self-important egomaniac..” Dave says vaguely as we head to the ring.
Heeeere comes Jericho! Heeere comes Benoit!
JERICHO vs. BENOIT
Collar elbow tie up and some technical wrestling, a sitdown from a waistlock (Jericho with the waistlock holding onto Benoit) it moves into a headscissors from Jericho and they stand up. Polite applause from the audience. They do a quick test of strength, Benoit drops Jericho and drops him down with a wrist lock. Jericho backbridge’s up and turns it into a hammer lock and then moves it into a headlock. Benoit spins it around into a waistlock of his own and they move to the corner and gets broken up by the ref.
Lock up again, waistlock from Jericho, spun around by Benoit and German Suplex. A second one gets reversed with a rollup from Jericho who stands up and goes for the Walls, but it’s countered into an amazing armlock and they fight their way to their feet for some more Canadian applause.
COMMERCIAL!
We come back to Benoit with a chinlock – during the commercial break, Jericho took a header into the outside barricade. Back from the flashback and Jericho is chopping Benoit and tosses him into the ropes, knee to Benoit sends him over. Jericho lifts him up into a vertical supex position, but stunguns him instead. They walk together and climb up to the top turnbuckle with punches between the two. Standing at the top of the turnbuckle and who’s gonna win it for the big move??? JERICHO! Superplex! Jericho goes for the pin and gets two.
They get back to their feet and start punching each other, and Benoit is bleeding from his mouth. Irish whip from Jericho, and Benoit reverses it and both men land outside. Benoit gets to his feet first and tosses Jericho right back into the ring. A count is stopped as Jericho is hanging halfway out of the ring. Benoit tosses Jericho to the ropes and a hard clothesline to the pin, but Benoit only gets 2.
Benoit picks him back up, and quick knees to Jericho’s face and he eats a crossbody – landing in the right spot to take a baseball slide to throw him outside again. Benoit pulls him back in, throws him into the turnbuckle hard – grabs him and hits him with the triple German suplexes. Benoit signals for the headbutt, but HE MISSES IT! Both men are down and the count goes on again. Jericho to his feet first, he charges and gets hit with the Crossface—only parially though. He rolls out, misses the Walls–gets caught into the partial Crossface again, but this time DOES drop Benoit for the Walls of Jericho– Benoit fights up to drop Jericho to lock in the Sharpshooter— BUT! Jericho grabs pulls and rolls Benoit up FOR THE 3!
A clean win for Jericho and an amazing technical match! It ends with a butting chest to chest, but a grudging Canadian handshake.
WINNER: CHRIS JERICHO! (I’m biased.. woohoo!)
Before the next commercial break, we get another.. yes ANOTHER.. recap of the entire Kane Snitsky rivalry.
“Hey look! Another abortion!” – Erik H on instant replays.
COMMERCIAL! (Which was good because my coffee had found purchase and I needed a Number One break)
So during this commercial, we discussed how odd it was that our main event was Kane/Snitsky.. weird, expect some weird endshow booking. Just announced, HBK vs. Edge – which I’m confused since both of those guys were in the Rumble.. ah well, double booking for HBK and Edge, I’ll allow it.
Hey, another Canadian coming on down, the woman’s champ, Trish! She grabs the microphone and is getting cheered to high hell (and she looks pretty good tonight too.) Immediately she starts ragging on the United States and thanking the Canadian fans. Trish is taking credit for Lita’s injury, which is good booking as far as I’m concerned. Stratus talks about how in the ring, there is a whole lockerroom full of men willing to impregnate her – but BOOM! Here comes Kane! He goes after Trish, has her by the throat and.. since he’s now a face.. he lets go. OOPS! My bade, he grabs her and drops her like a rag doll with a single-armed chokeslam. I have a feeling this leads to Trish being out on injury while they find some women to wrestle – or just abort (oo, Lita joke) the Woman’s Division altogether.
COMMERCIAL!
Starting in the ring, Kane is in the ring with his theme music. Our belief is somebody had to direct Kane BACK to the ring instead of having him leave from the last spot.
“Umm.. Kane, you’re main eventing” – Erik H on Kane.
“…what’s that mean?” – Erik H AS Kane.
Snitsky comes down and the match begins. Kane slides out and they start fighting outside the rinng. He tosses in Snitsky and climbs to the top turnbuckle with a clothesline onto Snitsky. Gene stumbles outside, grabs the ringbell and kabong’s Kane. Gene tosses him back in the ring and goes for the pin for only ‘2’. Snitsky picks up Kane and hits him with a sidewalk slam. He runs outside and grabs a weightbelt from under the ring.
“Gene Snitsky looks like he is pleasuring himself with that belt!” J.R. on Snitsky?!?!?!
Snitsky continues to beat Kane as the wave encircles the arena. Snitsky grabs Kane for what looks like a powerbomb set-up, but Kane reverses it. Kane heads outside and brings a chair into the ring. He tries to el kabong Snitsky, but gets it booted in his face instead. Snitsky grabs the chair and starts el kabonging Snitsky. Gene puts the chair around Kane’s neck and heads to the top turnbuckle – but Kane sits up and smacks Snitsky with the chair instead, sending him outside. He brings Snitsky back in and it’s time for Kane to use the weightbelt on Snitsky. Gene falls outside and they start walking up the ramp. They get up to the upper staging area and Snitsky gets hurled face first into the metal stage.
Kane grabs Snitsky around the throat, but Snitsky gets a lowblow in and they are fighting on the edge of the stage. Snitsky tries to hit him off the edge, but misses and spins him around and grabs the chokeslam – both of them off the edge into a conveniently placed pile of table of wires. If you listened closely, we think somebody asked the other one if they were ok… but that’s how the show ends.. both men collapsed into the table – hugging.
“Awww, Kane gave Snitsky an abortion drop.” Danielle on the end of the show.
So that was it, huh? I have no idea what that glaringly bad ending to what was an amazingly good show means. I guess this means we’ll find out next week what kind of match Snitsky and Kane will have at Rumble – as it’s obviously where it’s supposed to lead us. We agree that Chris vs. Chris or HBK vs. Christian would have been a better main event – and have this be a midshow lead in.
Oh well, two weeks til my favorite PPV! Have a great night guys.
