Remote Destination


Since shifting the placement of the TV in my room, my viewing habits have changed. I’ve come to watch much more TV late at night. I’ve become a huge fan of the X Files on TNT. Man, that show was really good. I caught the episode “Redrum” and I was slayed. I saw it when it originally aired, but watching it again was really enjoyable. (It’s my second favorite episode, next to “Field Trip.”)

I’ve also begun catching Late Night with Conan O’brien. It’s a funny show. I don’t really have anything more to say about it. I watch it. It’s funny.

Proof Republicans Behave Like Immature Junior High Kids

Another show I’ve been watching a lot of is Boy Meets World. I think I started watching the show when it was playing late night on the Disney Channel. Please don’t ask my what a Black college student found so alluring about the misadventures of a neurotic white kid in Philly.

Anyway, I was watching it this week and they ran the episode I Am Not A Crook. Basically Shawn nominates Cory for class president. Yadda yadda yadda, Cory drops out of the race. The surreal thing is; there’s a scene when Cory competition questions Shawn’s credibility because he dissed a girl in elementary school. Shawn counters that he’s all about the ladies now.

At this point the competitor leads the lunchroom in a chant of “Flip Flop!” I was lying in my bed, mouth agape. After all the episode is ten years old, yet it mirrors last year’s Republican National Convention.

Next thing you know something will blow up because of Cheney’s actions and Bush will have to hide him in an undisclosed location.

What I Watched Last Week

Carnivale – I have to admit, I’m digging Brother Justin’s ink. Sampson is playing very sly with keeping the Bearded Lady at bay in regards to Professor’s whereabouts, but I don’t know how much longer that will last. This season is more memorable than last season…for the moment.

Unscripted – I think the problem with this show is that it’s not really “entertaining”, because of it’s stark realism. It’s trying too hard to be “real.” It isn’t “laugh” funny, it’s more of “uncomfortable” funny. Which is to say the situations might sound funny to industry folk as anecdotes, but to the viewer they just come off as awkward.

Furthermore I don’t know how much I actually care about the characters. Krista is making rookie mistakes. Bryan is almost likeable. And Jennifer almost comes off as aloof, but not in a good way. But there’s nothing else on, so I’ll keep watching.

24 – This show is gotten some negative press because of it’s portrayal of Arab Americans. Now ordinarily I’d be against the stereotypical portrayal, but I’m not in this case for two reasons.

#1: I genuinely like the characters. The Araz Family are complex, three dimensional characters. Granted I’ve spent the last few years in a Blue State, so I may be more openminded and not think that every Arab family are sleeper agents, but I am fascinated by these characters when they are on the screen.

#2: This is 24. Anyone who’s watched the show knows that over the course of the season there are plenty of twists and turns. A character that might seem to be bad could turn out to be a hero, and vice versa. 24 is one of the most tightly plotted shows on network television, so I think there are subtleties yet to be revealed in the offensive characters. Plus in the latest issue of Time Shohreh Aghdashloo, the actress that plays the matriarch of the Araz clan, says as much when she states; “things may not be what they seem.”

Oz(edited for Joe Reid) – Yee Haw! Another season finale, another season premiere. What’s funny is that I’d actually seen the 4th season finale when it originally aired. However since at that point I’d only seen the 1st season, I was understandably lost. It made so much more sense this time around.

When _______ proclaimed that “_______ lives” I was excited! It was great to see _______ finally shank _______. Man, that was a long time coming. Poor ______ didn’t get paroled, but he seemed to take it in stride. I enjoyed seeing ________ stand up for himself, but when he was taken down by _______ I cringed. And man, you’ve got to feel badly for _______, ________, ________ and _______ because the _______ ________ _______ed their ________ _______. I just hope that _______ doesn’t turn back to drugs.

Tilt – I appreciated the backstory this episode. The Matador is jerk. How do you beat up on a twelve-year-old girl? Has Michael Madsen ever played a respectable character?

Lost – I watched this week’s episode and last week’s too. Boone sucks. He can’t take a punch. Charlie also sucks, but he can take a punch. Michael’s wiz way sucked, and I was glad when she died. Locke is an odd bird. Walt’s “uniqueness” could be the thing that turns me off of the show. And did I miss the part when they completely gave up on looking for Claire, who is missing and pregnant? What’s up with that?

And what’s up with Shannon and Boone hooking up? Sure they aren’t “blood” but it was still kind of creepy. That said, I’ll bet the taboo factor made it a blast, like having sex in a public place. And let me reiterate; Michael’s wiz really really sucked.

Desperate Housewives – I’m about done with this show. The only Housewife I remotely care about it Felicity Huffman. That’s it. I actually walked out on this week’s episode because I needed to shave my head.

Boston Legal I caught last week’s episode, Candice Bergen’s debut. It was very enjoyable. This is a very well written show, and one that I look forward to, despite the lack of any serious season long storylines. This show deserves more props.

Greatest Show Ever…this week – MI-5

I happened upon this show on Saturday. A&E was running a few episodes. Now I don’t know any character names, but I know that I was so drawn to the show that I couldn’t look away. I even rearranged my plans for the day (no matter how limited they were) so that I could watch all the episodes that were shown.

The episodes I caught were the ones when the agency thought one of their agents had gone rogue, but it was really just an elaborate frame up. I was slayed. I really got caught up in the show. Thus it this coveted spot this week.

Answer of the Week

Last week I was desperate for feedback so I posed the following question;

So, suppose that your life was on the line. Maybe you’ve been kidnapped. Maybe you had a bomb strapped to your chest while you were sleeping. Maybe you just fell in a well. The point is; you’re in danger. Who do you want to save your life; Jack Bauer or Macgyver

Guess what? I actually received some feedback.

First up was Chine who wrote;

Are you kidding me? Why do I want so silly man who refuses to use guns to save me? Jack is the greatest character on television. He can withstand torture to the point of death. He will do whatever is necessary to get the job done: get addicted to heroin, shot a witness in the head and cut off his head, start a prison riot and rob a bank. He is quick, ruthless and determined. He knows how to push peoples buttons to get the results that he wants. He is also an incredible actor…I mean Bauer’s character is so skilled at undercover work he could find his way into places that most people couldn’t. He saved Palmer countless times and stopped a nuke from detonating in LA. McGyver made raft out of kiwi and duct tape. OOOhhh! The only problem with Jack is that all the women he loves are doomed.

The next response came from someone I’ll call “Paranoid”.

I’m going to go with Jack Bauer because I know if there are some guys guarding my bomb body or something, He’ll kill them without a second thought and in all the time I watched Macgyver I don’t remember him having a gun or killing anyone. I don’t have time for him to build a contraption that will temporarily blind my kidnappers so he can use a paper clip to free me. Just shoot them and cut the blue wire. Plus Jack has saved the world three times to Macgyver’s 0 so I have to go with experience. Like you said Bauer gets results.

I actually conducted a similarly theme survey at work. The only problem; no one knew who Jack Bauer was. So I tried to come up with a larger pop culture character who fit basically the same bill. The best I came up with was James Bond.

(I know, I know, they are two different characters, but I was grasping at straws and I needed something to keep my mind busy and make the night progress faster.)

The results were vastly different.

The majority of people wanted Macgyver to save them. Their logic; Bond is nothing without his gadgets. He has the flash and glitz, but few actual skills.

One coworker impressed me by asking how his life was in danger, because different circumstances called for different tactics. Another coworker quickly replied; “James Bond, because after he saves me I know he’s going somewhere with ladies.”

Did I mention that I live in Las Vegas?

As for my answer, I’m going for Macgyver. I’ll admit that Jack is no joke. He’s an amazing guy. But Jack can switch loyalties really quick. Suppose Jack saves my life, but then the President tells Jack that an ex of mine is threatening to blow up Lexington Market if my dead body isn’t delivered to Fells Point at 2pm. You know I’m toast. Jack is going to kill me.

Macgyver on the other hand isn’t much of a killer. He’ll rescue me will minimal pain to everyone involved. He’s also a lot cooler under pressure. Jack gets angry, not that you wouldn’t being awake for over 24 hours, but I don’t like being yelled at.

So call me a punk or whatever, but I’m going for Macgyver. Of course this brings me to…

The Question of The Week

Bad news; for some reason you’ve got to relive your Junior High & High School years. Good news; you have a choice of where in the TV Universe you get to go to school. The “Worse Than Bad News”; you’ve got to go to school with a Savage Brother, either Fred or Ben.

Now this is a serious decision to make, where do you want to relive your adolescence; Robert F. Kennedy Junior High School (The Wonder Years) or John Adams Junior High School (Boy Meets World).

As usual, you send me an email with your answer or add it to the comment section, and I’ll put it in the next column. I really can’t wait to see the logic behind this one.


Cheri gives a unique and entertaining rundown of the Golden Globes.

Didey and I dig the same shows for the same reasons.

Coogan and I dislike the same show for the same reasons.

Brian has returned.

Mike runs down some of 2004’s canceled shows, which reminds me that my heart is broken.


If we were in the porn industry Aaron Cameron would be Iron Camlong, Joe Reid would be Joey Ready and I’d be in charge of lighting.

Aaron recounts how he pulled a “George Sr” and vomited in front of foreign dignitaries. That is if you consider choking El Pollo Loco both “vomiting” and “foreign.”

(Psst Cam, rock the baldie, it’s much easier to maintain.)

Joe gives his thoughts on the Golden Globes and explains why Ed Norton is a crossroads in his career. And for god’s sakes people; sent him your votes!

Greatest Video Ever…this week

Beck – Sexx Laws

Jack Black is there. Beck is fully flamboyant and getting his groove on. The band is playing fake instruments. Any of these components would make a “good video.” But one thing put this video over the top; the refrigerator is humping the oven. Any video that features appliance sex has to be classified as “great.”