Hello one and all, and welcome to another exciting edition of the Weekly Pulse, movies style. I am the one and only Norty and of course, here’s the totally non-movie related intro to my column dedicated to (Almost) everything movies.
Life is Just So Damn Entertaining
I thought the worst pain I would feel this week would be the betrayal that was watching The Village. But oh no, was I wrong. Yes, there was the awesome-ness that is 24, but this week served primarily as plot building. No, even though I knew this was coming, it still irked me in a way not possible by many other things in life.
“President” Bush was sworn into office.
Now, should this actually stir up a ton of feedback (Ha) and it turns into hate mail (HA!) let me set the record straight. As a young, impressionable American, I am neither Democrat or Republican. I am not so simple as to declare a party affiliation. As if the differences between the two really exist anymore? No, on the contrary, I see bad things in the future with this fake president in office, and though I knew two months ago this day was coming, it really bummed me out watching it. (Who knows, maybe somewhere in the future I could really vent about it all..) Anyway, I’d be in a hole for the day if it wasn’t for one man. One man on one news show brought my entire day up. Here’s one of the quips that comes to mind
Jon Stewart: Did they just swear him in as President or Dungeon Master?
Thank you, Daily Show, for ripping apart the news and this neo-empire we live in.
*Ahem*
On with the column!
Grab Bag – Feedback Style
Empty grab bag this week. Unless you count an amazing amount of offers for free watches and car insurance and such. You know, coming off some nice e-mails, it doesn’t bother me so much. Maybe next week.
News You Can Use – And WE Abuse
J. Kern and myself return for another week of news commentary/parody/comedy/whatever you’d like to call it. J. Kern showed but then had to leave halfway through. I can go on by myself, but I’d be happier finding a surprise tag team partner. We’ll see. Anywho, the way this works is the headline is in bold, the actual news story is underneath, and then both Kern and I offer various remarks on said stories.
Basinger to Have a White House Affair
Kim Basinger (Cellular) will play the First Lady, who has an affair with a Secret Service agent played by Michael Douglas in The Sentinel. Based on the book by Gerald Petievich, the 20th Century Fox thriller centers on Douglas’ character becoming a suspect in a plot to assassinate the president when another agent is murdered. Kiefer Sutherland also stars as another Secret Service agent whose loyalty is questioned.
S.W.A.T. helmer Clark Johnson will direct the project, based on George Nolfi’s script.
Kern:Y’know … when all the X-men fantasy casting went around before the movie actually came out … Michael Douglas was always my first choice for a forty-foot tall robot. Frankly, any vaguely robotic character, i always think of him first. Also, i’m not sure i buy Kiefer Sutherland as a Secret Service agent. It’s too against type for him. Are there any vampire movies casting now? He was da bomb in Lost Boys…
Norty: Sutherland in a vampire movie? What about Kim?
Kern: If she’s not in something with “Bat” in the title, I’m, frankly, not interested.
Norty: You know, it makes sense to me.
Reno Joins DaVinci Cast
Variety reports that Jean Reno will star as Detective Bezu Fache in The DaVinci Code, the movie based on Dan Brown’s bestselling novel. Reno joins Tom Hanks, who has already been cast in the lead role. The DaVinci Code will be directed by Ron Howard, written by Akiva Goldsman (A Beautiful Mind), and produced by Brian Grazer. The studio is aiming for a May 2006 release.
Kern: Psst. Keep it under your hat … but I hear Jean Reno is descended from Jesus Christ. I know this because he is BADASS regardless of the movie he’s in. We’ll see. If he makes it out of this movie alive, it’ll be proof of his divinity.
Norty: Chris was a badass?
Kern: Hello? Son of God? And the fact that Reno was in the 98 remake of Godzilla and is still watchable is reason enough to me to suspect he’s part-God.
Norty: Yeah. I’d bow down to him if this works out too. Speaking of Whom….
KernOf course, it won’t work. Since Tom Hanks is over-exposed; Akiva Godlsmith only makes good movies if they star a retard or Will Smith (or is that redundant? Oh, snap!) and there is no God.
Another “Jesus Film” in the Works
Given the popularity of The Da Vinci Code right now, it comes as no surprise to many that some interest is starting to surround a similar script at the moment. Author Lamar Cook’s Depiction, described as “National Treasure/Indiana Jones/Lara Croft meets biblical epic The Da Vinci Code”, has reportedly got studios fighting it out for the film rights.
Depiction tells the tale of some college students who break a 500-year-old code to find the greatest archeological discovery in history: an actual painting of the image of Jesus.
Apparently, an artist by the name of Ichabed painted the image on the day that Jesus was baptized by John The Baptist. It was hidden inside the Catacombs until found in 1492 by a man who is ultimately put into a mental hospital. But before he leaves the man leaves a coded message in his will.
KernWow … a pitch based on a rehash, a rehash of a rehash and a rehash of a rehash of a rehash. Welcome to Hollywood.
Norty: Pfft, neo-Hollywood. This Hollywood is starting to suck. Even I notice the lack of originality, and I just pimp other peoples greatness weekly.
Kern: Indy is an entertaining, but hardly innovative, take on the old 40s action pulps. Tomb Raider is a chintzy video-game knock off of Indy. And National Treasure … well, National Treasure is what happens when cousins spawn. Imagine if someone did a remake of your column. Then some fourth grader did a remake of that column. That’s what this is.
Norty: Its like a bad clone job. A clone of a clone of a clone and you’ve got a brain like a bowl of soup.
Die Hard 4.0 Still On
Bruce Willis was recently interviewed by Maxim magazine. He revealed in the interview that Die Hard 4 is still happening, which is now supposedly titled Die Hard 4.0.
“It’s Die Hard 4.0. They’re working on the script right now,” says Willis. “Doug Richardson, who wrote Hostage is typing away furiously. It’s a really interesting idea. And it’s the first one that Fox has liked, so we’ll see.” Regarding the plot, Willis says, “John McClane is retired. I can tell you that.
Norty: You know, I like Die Hard, and this does nothing for me. What, will Willis hobble out of the terrorist controlled building on a cane? Oh, wait! A motorized wheel chair!
Kern I forget … what was the last one called? Die Hard for a Paycheck? Die Hard: the Bloating? Sonuvabitch is worse than Jessica Fletcher. When will people realize that wherever McClane is, there are terrorists?!
Norty: When they realize Bush isn’t their President?
Ah, ladies and gents, at this time Mr. Kern departed for some radio spot improv show he had or something like that. Desperate for a partner and not about to let my only gimmick die, I went and sought out a partner. Realizing the incredibly professional, hardass but cool about it boss of mine wouldn’t cut it, I stumbled upon this young up and comer. Ladies and gentlemen, introducing for the first time in news parody-ing and all that jazz – Brendan Campbell!
Campbell:To all my fans out there…I just wanted to say…wait a minute, should I even be wasting time typing to them? They don’t know I have a surprise guest spot in this column…and without the proper advertising of this HUGE appearance why the hell else would anyone read this column in the first place? Who are you introducing me to here Norty, you?
He comes off as a tough guy, but trust me, as soon as he said this I threatened to take this spot away, and he changed his tone realllll quick. If you ever want to see what a grown Canadian types like when he cries, shoot me a line. Back to the news.
Hitchhikers Guide Poster Online
The one-sheet poster from the upcoming sci-fi feature The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is now online. The film is based on the Douglas Adams novel, and will star Sam Rockwell, Mos Def, Zooey Deschanel, John Malkovich, and Martin Freeman.
The film is the second adaptation of the Douglas Adams novel. Adams adapted his own novel before his death in 2001. Karey Kirkpatrick did a rewrite before Robert Ben Garant came on board.
Mos Def will play Ford Prefect, an alien disguising himself as an out-of-work actor who sets out on an intergalactic journey with his best friend, mild-mannered earthling Arthur Dent (Freeman). The duo hitch a ride through space with the two-headed president of the galaxy, the beautiful and brilliant scientist Trillion (Deschanel) and a depressed robot while on a quest to discover the meaning of life. You can check out the poster here.
Campbell: The poster screams big, blockbuster summer release…yet at the same time, reveals little about the film, while at the same time revealing a lot. And the alien guy is kinda cute as well.
Norty: The alien guy is kind of cute? You’ve never read the books, have you Campbell? That poster is FULL of winks and nods to fans of the novels.
Campbell: They made a book about this movie and it hasn’t even come out yet?
Norty: …..you’re kidding, right?
Campbell: Kidding about what? Me thinking the alien guy with the wittle space helmet is cute? Or that it’s amazing how good authors are becoming when they can write a book based on a movie that hasn’t even been released yet! I am impressed! Wow!
Norty: Oh what have I done…..
Disney Decides on Story Basis for next Toy Story
Walt Disney Pictures has nabbed Jared Stern’s idea to be the basis for Toy Story 3, which the studio is committed to making without Pixar. Pixar Animation was responsible for the computer animation for the first two Toy Story films. Stern was a member of Disney’s Feature Animation Writing Program and has been developing an idea for the third movie for a while now. Other writers have submitted ideas but the studio ultimately went with Stern’s. Another screenwriter is expected to be brought on board to polish the script. The third story will take Buzz and Woody out of Andy’s room and into the world. Stern’s script also introduces several new characters.
Norty: I maintain that this will suck. And nothing that Disney has done has remotely changed my mind.
Campbell: WELL…this is a rather odd news bit that really shows that Disney has lost its touch. This is a company that used to be THE family company, with great stories like The Little Mermaid, and Aladdin…now it’s become the laughing stock of family cinema. Seriously, they had other script offers but they went with this Stern guy’s ORIGINAL idea to take Buzz and Woody OUTSIDE of Andy’s room. *ahem* Sorry, I’m just trying to recall the last TWO Toy Story movies where the toys were outside almost the entire movies…but hey, what do I know?
Norty: Nothing, you crazy Canuck. The fact you’re right is irrelevant. I miss Kern.
Campbell: Wait a minute…who’s Kern? A lost love? Where did this come from? Is that why you want to throw a softball at me? Missing your lost love Kern…a woman who scorned you deep? It’s okay…you can cry. I won’t tell.
Norty: You realize I control the content of this column right? If I put that in, I will chastise you for being a homophobe, defend my sexuality with your Canadian mother/sister/cousin, AND berate you for not knowing your fellow columnist You want me to do that?
Campbell: …well, you could just answer with *sniff*…let’s move on…but you can drop it if ya like :-)
Norty:**Sigh**Okay Campbell, softball coming up….
Keanu, Sandra to Team Again
Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves will be re-teaming for the first time since 1994 (Speed). The duo are set to star in Il Mare for Argentinian helmer Alejandro Agresti. According to Variety, filming begins in Chicago in March. Written by David Auburn, the film is a remake of a Korean Pic about a lonely doctor (Bullock) and a frustrated architect (Reeves) who live in the same house two years apart and fall in love via letters they exchange through a mailbox that mysteriously bridges time.
Campbell: I love Keanu Reeves. I don’t care what anyone (ESPECIALLY your lost love Kern) says…he’s a very underrated actor. I’m looking forward to this! Oh, and I don’t mean LOVE love…like I want to marry him…I mean, I love the characters he plays, and his style of acting…even though everyone says he HAS no style…but that IS his style…he’s that talented.
Norty: Whoa. Dude. Whoa. What? What do you mean? Whoa. I am the….One. Yeah. A LOT of talent there. Oops, can’t forget: What is…..The Matrix?
Campbell: Hey now…he also says “Ladies and Gentleman, this is the LAPD…there’s been a slight elevator malfunction, and we’ll have you out of there as soon as possible. *Looks at Jeff Daniels* Am I lying?” Damn, that was like a decade ago…why do I remember things like this, but don’t have the ability to do things that will actually get me somewhere?
Norty:
Stallone Promises Rocky 6
Sylvester Stallone is promising a Rocky comeback. “We’re in the kitchen and we’re cooking. I’ve had meetings about this and it looks good. We’ll see what we come up with,” the actor said. “Rocky 6” has been in limbo for quite some time now over at MGM studios, who currently owns the rights to the Rocky franchise. The story would supposedly have Rocky coming out of retirement to help raise money for a children’s charity.
Campbell: Well, Rocky is awesome. I think they tell a great story, but part 5 was weak…and seriously, a children’s charity? THAT is the story? What about Rocky coming out of retirement to fight an evil boxer from Iraq?
Norty: No, I think that the next Rambo will cover him going into Iraq and pulling out Osama.
Campbell: They should do a buddy movie! Rocky and Rambo…fighting for one cause…for one nation…with one mission…to make Stallone a box office star once more. They could call it. Rambocky.
Norty: Team them up against Freddy and Jason, and have them totally f*cking destroyed. Perfect sendoff, I say.
Campbell: *mumbles* I’ll send you off against Freddy and Jason…
Rick Berman Denies Troubling Rumors About Another Star Trek Movie
Producer Rick Berman recently and denied rumors that Paramount Pictures has shelved his idea for a “Star Trek 11.” “Unless there is something going on that I am not familiar with, the rumors are totally ficticious,” Berman said in an interview. “Absolutely neither statement, that something has been scuttled and that I have been asked to redevelop something, is true.”
Internet rumors suggested that Berman wanted to take “Star Trek 11” to the years pre-Star Trek: Enterprise, which is the TV show currently running on UPN.
Berman went on to say: “The status of the next film is it’s in an early state of story development, and the Paramount Motion Picture Group will announce personnel and whatever elements of the project when they see fit. If the project does develop as planned I think, of all the Star Trek movies I’ve been involved with and the previous regimes have been involved with, this one will undoubtedly have a larger scope and budget. It’s a very ambitious project, and I’m hoping that it will get the support to come to fruition.”
Norty: So, Star Trek?
Campbell: I think you said it best right there.
Norty: Oh sure, a Rambocky fan but not friggin Star Trek. Damn Canadians…..
Campbell: YO ADRIAN!!! THEY DREW FIRST BLOOD!!!
Norty: Indeed….
Campbell: The Star Trek franchise is DEAD. Leave it dead. Instead…they plan to basically double the budget of the last bomb? Oh yeah…I can see why that studio boss has a job.
Cast Grows for Upcoming Charlotte’s Web
Academy Award-winner Julia Roberts, Oprah Winfrey, John Cleese, Steve Buscemi, Cedric The Entertainer, Reba McEntire, Kathy Bates, Thomas Haden Church and Andre Benjamin (Andre 3000) have joined the voice cast in the upcoming live-action/photo real CG animated feature adaptation of E.B. White’s Charlotte’s Web for producer Jordan Kerner and his Kerner Entertainment Banner. The film will be directed by Gary Winick (13 Going on 30) and is a Paramount Pictures, Walden Media and Nickelodeon Movies co-production. The feature is scheduled to begin production on January 31st in Melbourne, Australia.
Roberts will lend her vocals in the lead role of Charlotte A. Cavatica, a spider and heroine of the book who goes out of her way to save Wilbur the pig’s life by weaving miraculous words into her webs. Also joining as cast voices are: Oprah Winfrey as Gussy the barn’s maternal yet irreverent goose; John Cleese as Samuel the sheep; Steve Buscemi as the barn’s sardonic Rat Templeton. Also, Cedric The Entertainer will play opposite Oprah as the other Goose – Golly. Reba McEntire and Kathy Bates will voice the barn’s ironic cows Betsy and Bitsy, and Thomas Haden Church (Golden Globe Nominee in Sideways) will voice Brooks, one of two dimwitted crows opposite Andre Benjamin (Andre 3000) as Elwyn the other crow.
Campbell: What character does Keanu Reeves do the voice for?
Norty: I think a real life pig has more charisma….stellar cast, though.
Campbell: Yeah…I wonder if they’re all taking pay cuts. Then again, Roberts is the only MAJOR Hollywood name. The rest are extremely well known, but none of the rest can ask for $20 million a movie and get it. Ironic, isn’t it? Julia’s character helps save Wilber the pigs life…but I guess she only does that so she can be the one who brings home the bacon. Huh…get it? Bacon? Money? Pig?…work with me here Nortimus!
Norty: Canadian bacon? Isn’t Roberts a real big bitch in real life?
Campbell: Well, she gets cranky in the morning…but after I bring her some tea and crumpets, she’s a sweet little angel!
Norty: I see – Robert’s bitch eh. I heard she had many on every continent….
Campbell: Bitch? No, no, no…Brendan is just an alias…I’m Dan the cameraman Roberts.
Norty: So either way you’re Robert’s bitch?
Campbell: *sigh*…yeah. But don’t tell anyone! She gives me $1 million a day to do whatever I wish…so really, if I must, I will buy you, ship you off to Mongolia, buy this website, go into the database and change the above statements, thus proving that I’m not her bit–dammit, yes, coming honey! No, don’t get mad…the tea is almost done. No I’m not on the computer…I’m…dusting. Okay, let’s finish this up quick.
Warner Bros. Names Yates as Director of Next Potter Film
Warner Bros. has officially announced that David Yates will be the director for Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix. This is to be the fifth film adaptation of J.K. Rowling’s incredibly popular novel series. After garnering international attention and accolades for his award-winning short films, including earning a BAFTA nomination for his short Rank Yates has become a prolific television director, helming the BBC’s BAFTA-lauded series The Young Visiters, State of Play, The Way We Live Now and The Sins. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix will be produced by David Heyman from a screenplay by Michael Goldenberg (Where the Wild Things Are, Peter Pan). Production on the film is expected to begin in England in January 2006. Heyman is currently producing Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, which is in production in London under the direction of Mike Newell, and set for release on November 18, 2005.
Norty: I know nothing of this Yates, but I loves me some Harry Potter. I reserved the next book already. Films are all subpar, though….
Campbell: I’ve never read one of the books, and I’ve yet to see any of the movies. Just not my thing. I’ve HEARD they’re good, but I just have no interest in them. Maybe I’m just holding out so I feel different and cool in my own right…
Norty: Which makes you uncool, as you are then lumped with an incredible amount of losers. Seriously, look around at the ‘cool kids’ holding out/refusing the Potter. It’s a sad sight.
Campbell: Seriously man…listen to the way you’re talking! You’re like an addict…it’s okay. I’m here to help you, not to judge you. You’ve just got to take it day by day, and together…you can give up Pot…ter…see what I did there, eh?
Norty: *Sigh* You and your Canadian Puns……I think that’s a wrap for this week.
Trailer of the Week
Well, I promised you a trailer, and if I do one thing right, its keep a promise. This week, the Fantastic Four trailer hit the net. Click here to view it. (Quick time needed). The following are some of the Movies Crew giving their thoughts on it:
Brendan “My Puns Suck” Campbell: I’ve never been big on comic books, but I’m a huge fan of comic book movies. Maybe that’s why I enjoy them so much. Either way, having never read a Fantastic Four comic, but knowing their basic story, I’m pretty happy with how the trailer looks. It should be a great, action packed movie…let’s just hope they develop characters! That seems to be a key point in whether or not these types of movies succeed or fail. Though I don’t understand why they’d actually MARKET the fact that Jessica Alba is the Invisible Woman…seriously, knowing that the hottest cast member will be constantly disappearing can only hurt the box office intake. Then again, sex appeal didn’t help Elektra much. SNAP!
Steve “No Guru for You” Coogan: Trailer makes this look terrific, and that it could be a real cool, fun, exciting movie. It comes off like it will be one of the better comic book movie adaptations out there. I’m surprised at the casting though. Some good actors, but no real “A-Listers.”
Shaun “Guru at Heart” Norton: I come from the same boat as Campbell on this one. I’m not nearly as familiar with the material here as, say, Batman or Spiderman, but I have had some run-ins with the basic FF storyline. That being said, I had heard this would be lackluster, and the trailer definitely doesn’t show that at all. On the contrary, it looks action packed and fun, exactly what a comic book movie should be. We’ve seen amazing (Spiderman) and terrible (The Punisher) comic book films. I get the vibe, from the trailer at least, that this will be closer to the former than the latter.
Michaelangelo “Life Means Nothing Without the Trailer” McCullar – OK, I have to admit, I m very scared about this film. The changes I’ve read about, such as making Dr Doom an industrialist rather than dictator of a small country, had me worried. But after seeing the trailer, I have to say it looks good. REALLY good. Of course, trailers are designed to entice you into wanting to see the film. This one’s working.
Reviews We Sit Through – For You!
Coach Carter – Steve Coogan contributes another of his soon to be trademarked detailed reviews this week. He found Carter to be inspired yet too formulatic. That and the ending…..well, just read his review to find out everything.
Elektra – Brendan Campbell, that aforementioned Crazy Canuck, chimes in with one of two reviews this week. As much hope as he has for the Fantastic Four, Elektra let him down as a comic book movie, and as a movie overall. What a shame, as it seemed like a cool franchise to roll with.
Hotel Rwanda – Arturo Garcia had the pleasure of seeing a good film this week, and of seeing long time supporting actor Don Cheadle finally shining in the spotlight. Cheadle may be great, but this film is pretty good too. Read his full review to get his outlook.
In Good Company – You know, its good to hear that Topher Grace will apparently have a life after That 70’s Show. This movie shows he’s got the skill to remain in Hollywood and deserves the starring roles. The rest of the cast is solid and the story is believable. Don’t take it from me, though – Travis Leamons writes about this and more in his excellent review.
Assualt on Precinct 13 – Honestly, nothing I can say will get across just how cool this film is. Thankfully, Brendan Campbell saves me time and face and tells you everything you need to know about the years first great action movie.
On DVD
Resident Evil: Apocalypse – So I wonder who would win the argument this week over who had the worse DVD release to handle. Clearly, Michaelangelo had no easy feat, as he sits through this silly sequel to a movie that wasn’t that good to begin with. But was it made for video game fans, and in a sense good? Some could say that too. Either way, read him and come to your own conclusions.
The Village – So, I brought this DVD home as only Netflix can, and while knowing it wasn’t great, I had faith that M. Night would come through for me again. I was wrong. Very wrong. That’s all I’ll say here – read the review to find out more.
We Even Do Columns!
Brad Torreano is a hell of a guy, if you ask me. Not only does he refuse to put work out until it is damn near perfect and of the quality you deserve to read, but he goes back and addresses mistakes made in his first nine columns. What a character – a crazy amount of movie knowledge AND class to boot. Who would have thought? Anywho, this week, Brad centers his attention on Crimewave. Actually, its not just the bulk of his column, it pretty much is his column, and he goes into a lot of detail on this film. Read him and read about this Sam Raimi film.
J. Kern has apparently gotten over his cancer well enough to subject himself to another crappy movie. Thank God for that huh? But you can tell he’s still recovering, as this week’s movie is far from anything he can’t handle. It is of course by no means good, but it won’t steal his soul or give him a terminal disease, so huzzah for small favors. It’s okay, I’d rather have him healed and take on something like Catwoman soon enough. The Dollar Movie Review of Shall We Dance reveals a movie full of cliches but not nearly as terrible as subjects past. I’m just glad my girlfriend didn’t drag me to it. Good job Kern.
Travis Leamons Predicts the Golden Globes and, in my humble and non-important opinion, he does a fine job with it. You’d have to read him to see how good he is at the predicting thing. As far as presentation goes, his column is friggin awesome. Way to go Travis – I was really impressed.
Introducing Reel Talk with Tal Aulbrook. Tal is the newest addition to our staff, and I offer him a personal, warm welcome into the IP Movie Fold (He does sports too). He’s got some good content this week -just leave the trailers to me Tal. Otherwise, welcome aboard!
And of course, what would the end of your week be like if you didn’t have Brendan Campbell Previewing the weekend’s box office for you? He goes into detail on Assault on Precinct 13, as well as the ‘competition’ too. Read him to find out your new movie options this weekend.
No perfect flick this week, as a personal event came up in Mr. McCullar’s life and his ability to deal and multi-task just sucks. Nah, I kid – personal stuff like this blows and I give him credit for handling it as he did. No kicking him when he’s down this week. Looking forward to the next Perfect Flick, Michaelangelo – damn it, you best not let me down.
Norty’s Rant: The Village Betrayal
Sure, the reign of King George continued this week, but I really don’t want to rant about that non-movies related news. Plus, I found myself not nearly as irate as I was earlier in the week, after I had watched M. Night’s latest work. I didn’t touch on this in my review, as to keep my personal feelings out of the review, but I was pissed! I felt conned and ripped off. Here’s why.
I love scary movies/horror movies/whatever. As I sit here on the tail end of my winter break before going into the spring semester, I had been pining for a satisfying horror movie to watch. When I saw that no one here had reviewed The Village I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone – get my horror fix and review it for the site. Nevermind people said it wasn’t good – not everyone loved Signs and that scared the beejesus out of me. So as I sat down, turned the lights out, I was excited for the suspense, the horror, and the excellent twist. I waited. And waited.
I’m still waiting.
The film started out strong – a good concept and some early suspense got my interest. And then – nothing. Okay – weak in the middle but it’ll pick up again, I said to myself. But it didn’t. No more scares. Very little suspense. By the time the movie neared the ‘twist’ ending – what a farce – I realized something terrible. This movie wasn’t a horror film at all. This was a melodrama of the highest sorts – a love story and everything that came with it. Now, I have no problem with love stories, but this movie was marketed and advertised as a horror film! They LIED to the public about this movie, deliberately marketing to fans who would have otherwise had no interest in this. And then, half way through the film, the characters show the audience what the movie really is about, and it’s like Night tried to pacify the horror fans by adding one more ‘scare’ in the plot. But it was too late. The damage was done.
I don’t remember the last time I walked away from a movie so confused and then so angry. I can swallow a bad movie. I can swallow an awful ending. But I cannot tolerate a film that so blatantly lies to the public, using a director’s past work and reputation as the foundation of the lie. This is a sham, plain and simple. Not everyone feels this way, and that’s fine, but it will be with great hesitation when I approach the next work by Mr. M. Night.
Thanks for Listening.
The End
That wraps things up in a nice little package for another week. Have a great weekend and upcoming week, and, as always….
Until next time.
