They’re actually going to have a PPV named “TNA: Sussudio?” Those idiots. – Semi-Regular Heath Peek, 1/18/05, 3:19PM
I never watch TNA, but you got me a bit curious with one of your blind items: they’re gonna do a pay-per-view called “TNA:Sussudio”? Interesting. – Big Daddy, 1/18/05, 3:34PM
Either great minds do think alike, or Phil Collins has done more damage to the collective psyche of two generations than we ever thought.
Okay, okay, okay. Thank you all for telling me that the Flair/Hart title switch took place in Saskatoon, not Winnipeg. Shit, I missed it by one province. But as one person said, I at least remembered that the title switch took place at a house show in central Canada, and that I deserve partial credit for that. Besides, I guess I had Bret on my mind from those damn chants. And after the week I had last week, let’s face it, I couldn’t find my dick without a detailed map. I’m happy I remembered as many of the details as I did. So we can close the book on that one.
No Wednesday column this week due to lack of news. All of the stuff I was interested in happened after Wednesday, which truly sucks. If news can’t break on time for me, then f*ck the news, okay? Let’s just kick it into gear…
THE SMACKDOWN SHORT FORM
Match Results:
Doug and Danny Basham over Booker T and Eddy Guerrero (DQ, Greco-Roman belt shot): It’s nice that they gave an extended time for this match (about fifteen minutes), except the problem is that they did it with the Bashams. They forced Eddy and Booker to slow down the pace to an almost excrutiating level. Good effort by everyone to keep the crowd (and me) interested, but not enough.
Hilo con Eddy
Eddy pulls out the old airplane spin
Nick Patrick insists that Eddy grab on to the tag rope. Nice to see that enforced for once.
So Eddy moves the tag rope. One Guerrero Sports Entertainment Moment accomplished.
That’s either “Cross my heart and hope to die” or “Fuck the horse you rode in on through the heart”
Scotty Go Potty over Akio, Royal Rumble Qualifying Match (Pinfall, Worm): This is so embarassing for Jimmy Yang that I think I’ll just skip over it and go on to the next match.
Akio tries to get one over on that incredible technical wrestler Scotty Go Potty
John Cena over Rene Dupree, Royal Rumble Qualifying Match (Pinfall, F-U): “Cena is the personification of America”? Michael Cole, master of hyperbole. Not a bad match, though. Dupree upped it up a notch, being in his hometown, and actually looked like a threat for a while. Of course, we all knew that Cena had to advance (and is thus one of the favorites for the Rumble; expect him in the Final Four), but it was still a nice ride.
If Dupree is supposed to be from France, why does he have Quebec’s motto on his ass?
Cena doesn’t know that “French” involves tongues, not oral sex
Rene Dupree, Chiropractor-At-Large
Rey-Rey over Chavito, Royal Rumble Qualifying Match (Pinfall, springboard splash): Some people are going to criticize that this match was too slow. However, I think they were pacing themselves for a slightly longer match than either are used to, and the action was fast enough to even satisfy an X Division fanatic. In other words, nice match, and nice continuation of the Guerrero Family Curse. This might be a catalyst for a Chavito heel turn (let him stay as a face for a little while longer, then turn him and have one kick-ass match at Wrestlemania).
Aw, respect between competitors. How cute.
Rey-Rey’s still doing that “this much” bullshit
Rey-Rey goes for a spin
Angle Developments:
Beauty and the Beast: Who’s the more inappropriate couple, Joy and TBS or a seal and Fergie? I’ll leave the evidence to you:
No, this is the most imappropriate couple: Carly Colon and his hair
No Apologies Necessary: Nice little twist to the whole apology thing. It cemented Kurt’s ethos as heel after playing tweener in this situation for a long time. The thing I’m wondering about is this: this kind of PPV pimp usually takes place on the show before the PPV in order to build some excitement. Have they shot their wad on this angle? How are they going to promote the Triple Threat next week? Or are they just going to concentrate on yet another Cena/Suzuki US title match?
Damn, what a set of jugs on her
Let’s get a closer look at those jugs, shall we?
Geez, I can’t get over those breasts…
The breast screen cap yet of them
Unfortunately, neither TBS nor Luther Reigns have breasts
And that’ll be it for this column. No PPV this weekend, hence no Round Table, hence no me until Tuesday. Until then, keep warm and dig out of the snow. Except for you, Fleabag, you bastard.
