Well, it’s that time of the week again. Time to be late with another Desperate Housewives recap. And honestly, I’m not too phased by it. Even though I am messing up the schedule for the TV zone, I can only guess that my faithful readers are starting to lose faith in Desperate Housewives much like I am. The formulaic format of the show is getting to be ridiculous, and I just wish that the show would break the mold for once and do something unexpected…like Susan not making an ass out of herself. Please? For just one show?
Nothing in the mailbag this week, so on with the recap!
Previously, on Desperate Housewives: Bree seems to still be in love with Rex despite hating his guts at the same time for cheating on him, leaving George out in the cold. Gabrielle admits to having sex with John to John’s mother, but claims that it’s over, to which John’s mother proclaims that it isn’t even close to being over. Paul Young buries the now-found body of Mrs. Huber, and Zach admits to Julie Mayer that Zach killed his baby sister Dana.
Fade to white, and Lynette is struggling to keep control of her kids as Susan arrives at her house. Dead Woman Narrating explains “the look” that parents of well-behaved children give to the parents of those who are not-so-well-behaved. A look that says “You should learn to take control of your kids. After all, they’re your responsibility.” Lynette gets that look from Susan, who quiets for a moment and then shrugs it off and continues to try and keep her children in line. It’s easy for Susan to be smug about her children since her daughter Julie is one who falls in the well-behaved category. Julie always brought home straight As, helped around the house, and was bright, affectionate and considerate of others. To her mother, Julie was the perfect child. But Susan would soon discover that no such thing existed, as Susan catches something on her way to the front door. She peeks in the window to find Julie kissing Zach. Susan barges in and interrupts the love fest, asking Zach if he was just kissing Julie. “Uh…a little.” Susan angrily reminds Zach that Julie is only fourteen, despite Julie’s protests to shut her mom up. Zach wants to Exit Stage Left, and Susan is fine with that, grabbing Zach’s glasses as if they were hot lava and passing them onto Zach as he hurries out the door. Zach reminds Julie about Friday on his way out, and Susan now would like to know what’s happening on Friday. Turns out that Julie’s got a date with the cute little murderer next door to the dance. Well, not if Susan has anything to say about it, and she certainly does, telling Julie that she is not to see her again as Julie continues her attempts to chill out her mother. Susan has no intentions of chilling, however, storming out the door behind Julie–who is taking out the trash–as Dead Woman Narrating explains that there is also a look that parents like Lynette give to parents like Susan. It says, “Welcome to the club.”
You’re watching Desperate Housewives, as bets are now being taken to how long it will take for Susan to make a complete idiot out of herself. This opening segment was pretty close, but I’m looking for something a little bit more catastrophic.
Dead Woman Narrating isn’t finished with us just yet, as she explains that suburbia is a place filled with responsible people trying to live responsible lives. Even the most responsible people have mistakes in their past. Mistakes they’d like to forget. Mistakes that sometimes come back to haunt them…
As we go to the Solis house, where Gabrielle notices outside her window a car pulling up with two people emerging. Gabrielle looks worried about these people, and tells Carlos that he’s leaving to go get the mail. Of course, Carlos won’t be doing too much investigating while he’s under house arrest. Gabrielle walks out and asks Helen what she’s doing here, and we see that the woman is John’s mother. Helen introduces her husband, Bob, and the resulting handshake from Gabrielle results in Gabby dragging Bob over to the other side of the house, away from where Carlos is lounging on the couch and within eyeshot of what’s going on outside. Bob and Helen came to talk about John, and Gabrielle immediately says that she hasn’t spoken to John in weeks, despite repeated attempts from John to call her. Gabrielle once again reiterates that it’s over, but Helen isn’t here to talk about that, but rather to talk about why John decided to drop his college scholarship and expand his gardening business to mow lawns full time. Gabrielle is confused as to why he would want to do that, but Helen points out that they wouldn’t be talking to Gabrielle if they knew, now would they? Bob excuses Helen for the way she’s acting since she’s still upset over the whole…”statutory rape thing.” So Gabrielle wants to know what they want her to do. Turns out that John isn’t speaking to Helen or Bob, and even worse, John just turned 18 and moved out of the house. Gabrielle needs to talk with John, but Gabrielle apologizes and says that she just can’t do that. After all, Gabrielle has her own set of personal problems. Helen doesn’t care, and Bob tries to calm her down again but Helen reveals all of this to truly be a blackmailing plot, as she tells Gabrielle that the police haven’t yet been informed of what Gabby did to John. But that can change. So Gabrielle folds and promises to see what she can do, as Helen is satisfied and Bob is uncomfortable, but both are leaving.
Moving along to the Scavo house, as Lynette tries to convince Parker to come down from the roof, just a few inches away from Lynette’s outstretched arms as the other two children watch from below. Parker thinks that his mother will drop him, but Lynette says that she won’t drop him, although strangulation is a possiblity for Parker finding his way up onto the roof in the first place. But before this can get out of hand, Tom pulls up with a special guest. It’s Grandpa Rodney, who arrives to greet the two kids not on the roof as Tom notices that Parker is back up on the roof again. Rodney greets Lynette with a hug as Lynette finds it to be a shame that Allison couldn’t make it. I assume that Allison is Tom’s mother, but Rodney explains that it’s just another business trip for Rodney and Allison would likely be bored to tears–and then Rodney notices Parker on the roof. Rodney asks Parker if he doesn’t want to come down and give Grandpa a hug, but Parker definitely doesn’t want to do that as Lynette explains that Parker is simply too scared to climb down. But for some reason climbing up wasn’t too much of a stretch. Rodney wants to take a shot at getting Parker down from the roof and Lynette allows him to do so. So up Rodney goes, and he only has one question to ask: “You’re not a little girl, are you?” Since, of course, only a little girl would be afraid of climbing down the ladder. And with that, Parker is down the ladder, and Tom asks how Rodney managed to get him down…sexism.
Now we go to a place that is either the Van De Kamp house or Some Random Place, but the important thing is that a crack team of lawyers has gathered for both Bree and Rex to discuss terms of divorce and the division of the stuff. The lawyers bounce back a laundry list of things they’d like to discuss about how they’re going to divide, but Rex and Bree don’t say a thing, and Rex realizes the absurdity of it all as he brings it to a stop. Rex doesn’t want to talk about dividing up their stuff. He thought he did, but perhaps Rex and Bree should try and work it out before it’s too late. Rex asks if Bree wants to “send the vultures home”, but Bree wants to talk about the club membership. She would like to have it, since Rex is terrible at tennis and he hates buffets. Well, so much for that bonding moment. It should also be noted in this scene that when Rex was talking about the situation they had found themselves in, the two main lawyers on each side looked at each other in a “we know what that’s like” kinda way. Former husband and wife turned rival lawyers?
And now it’s on to the Young household, as Susan is now informing Paul of what happened between Zach and Julie. Paul doesn’t seem to bothered by it, but he tries to defend them by saying they’re just kids. That’s easy for him to say, however, as Susan points out that Paul is the father of the boy and Susan is the mother of the girl. Paul decides to cut to the chase and ask Susan what she wants from him. What Susan wants is for Paul to make sure that should Zach and Julie come over to the Young house, that they should be supervised since Susan should not be the only one worried about what’s going to happen between those two. Paul finds that all of this is practically irrelevant, and as Zach listens in from behind the door, Paul reveals that they’ve sold the house. Zach makes his entrance as Paul announces that they’ll be gone by the end of the month. So Zach chimes in now and wonders why Paul lied to him, since when Zach came back from Silvercrest he was told that his father had reconsidered on the topic of selling the house. Paul suggests that Zach take his medicine, but Zach wonders if Paul really thinks that pumping him full of drugs is going to keep him quiet. Paul gets a little bit more assertive, telling Zach to go upstairs post-haste. But Zach gets in parting words about Paul not caring for Zach or for Paul’s wife Mary Alice. Zach just wishes his mother would’ve shot Paul instead of herself. And Zach walks off, as Susan tries to change the subject, saying that since Paul is indeed moving, everyone on Wisteria Lane will miss him.
Back to the Scavo house, as Lynette is once again upset, this time over Parker forgetting his catcher’s mitt. Dead Woman Narrating breaks out the pun by saying that before Parker’s little league game can even begin, a major player is about to be tagged out. So Lynette follows Parker back into the house, as Parker runs up the stairs to get his mitt. And Lynette turns her head over to the living room to find Rodney sitting with some random woman. They’re both surprised, as Rodney thought that they were at practice. Lynette explains why they returned, and after an awkward silence Rodney decides to introduce the strange woman. Her name is Lois McDaniel, and according to Rodney–who could easily be full of it–Lois is one of the major suppliers for him in the area, blah blah blah. The important thing is in the visual details. Like Lynette going over to shake hands with Lois and tripping over Lois’ high heels on the way around the couch. Lois turning to face Rodney and quickly buttoning her shirt back up a peg, and finally, the smoking gun, as Parker discovers a pair of pantyhose–not that he knows what it is. Everyone is in stunned silence until Lois claims them as hers and then lies about them falling out of her purse. Rodney looks extremely guilty, and Lynette finally brings a stop to it as she doesn’t want Parker to be late for the gmae. On her way out, however, Lynette makes sure to give a dirty look towards Rodney.
And now, a word from our sponsors…man, that first part of the show took forever. Lynette and Bree look to be bringing plenty of boring to the storylines this week, and while Gabrielle has potential, Susan actually seems to be leading the race in the storyline that will keep me around, since it’s possible that Susan could learn about Dana’s death later in the episode. I just hope she doesn’t manage to once again prove me wrong and turn out to be crap. Also of note here is that Lay’s potato chips had a fun commercial for their new Cheddar and Sour Cream potato chips, but the tagline for these chips is pretty ridiculous: “Get your smile on.” And it’s not done in a hip-hop fashion, but more of a cheery, happy fasion. Hooray for getting your smile on!
Returning to the humble Van De Kamp house, as Bree is definitely not getting her smile on as she tidies up the kitchen. Rex arrives in the kitchen and greets Bree, but Bree is not speaking to Rex. Rex sees that Bree didn’t like the settlement talks, and that would be correct, as Bree knows that Rex only wanted the good china because he knows that Bree loves it. But Rex points out that she got the timeshare in Aspen, so why should he be the one pegged as vindictive? Bree hardly ever goes there anyway. But now that she’s got it, she might as well never use it. So Rex fires back and tells Bree that he’ll only use the good china for takeout food–pizza, ribs, etc. Bree continues the argument by saying that at the next settlement talks, she’ll just ask for Rex’s golf clubs. Rex sighs and acknowledges just how fun divorce is for him. Bree smiles, and then looks at her watch to see that it’s time for Rex to take his heart medication. Rex meant what he said–he’ll fire his lawyer tomorrow, all he wants is for her to give the word. Bree thinks that it’s too late, since Rex was unfaithful. Rex wants Bree to find a way to forgive him so they can be happy again…after all, doesn’t Bree want that? But what Bree truly wants is revenge. Bree wants to level the playing field somehow, or else she can’t think of a reason to come back. Rex takes that as Bree wanting to have an affair, but Bree doesn’t give an answer. Rex assumes that that is a yes, so he wonders who Bree could possibly be thinking about–the dopey pharmacist George? Bree wonders if it would hurt Rex to know that she slept with another men, and Rex says that it would devastate him. She likes the sound of that, and despite Rex wanting to talk about this some more, Bree insists that it’s time for Rex to take his medicine. Rex does so as Bree walks out of the kitchen.
Back to the Young house, as Susan is preparing something on the stove as the telephone rings. Julie’s got it, however. Susan walks away from the oven and notices the extra phone sitting on the kitchen table, and the temptation is just too much as she picks up the phone to listen in. She jumps in as Julie tells Zach that Susan doesn’t hate him, she just worries. Zach wonders if Julie told her mother about what Zach told Julie, about what happened to Dana, but Julie insists that she will never ever tell Susan anything about that. Before Susan can hear more, the tea kettle begins whistling and Zach wonders what the noise is as Susan panics and quietly hangs up the other phone, going back to the tea kettle.
Over to Some Random Diner, as Bree has a cup of coffee. And here comes Curious George, the Curious Little Stalker, as he has a menacing look on his face for a moment before turning it to a cheery grin, coming up from behind Bree at her table. Bree is surprised to see George, but George explains that he saw her through the window and was surprised himself, since George never thought of Bree as a diner person. Bree isn’t, since the coffee is dreadful and it’s late, but she just wanted to get away from the house. I’m noticing a rather large lack of lighting in this diner, as it looks way too dark and mysterious to be a diner. Anyway, George didn’t mean to interrupt, so he gets ready to walk off, but Bree invites George to have a dreadful cup of coffee. As George sits with Bree, Bree explains the story of how she met Rex at a convention of Young Republicans where Rex was giving a speech. Bree approached him after his speech and said that she agreed with his stance on the death penalty, and afterwards they went to a diner and stayed up until 2 AM just talking about big government and other related topics. Bree remembers that it was such a magical day that by the time Rex got her back to her dorm, she knew that one day she would become Mrs. Rex Van De Kamp. George looks less than enthused listening to all of this, as Bree explains that even after the betrayal, she knows that even though they should be together, she can’t be with a man that she can’t trust. George asks her with minimal interest what she’s going to do, but Bree doesn’t know. She asks George what he thinks, and then quickly realizes her mistake, since it’s insensitive to George’s feelings about Bree, but George is fine with it: He wants to help. Bree thanks George for that, and then George asks if Rex loves her. Bree confirms this, and also confirms that Rex is a good person, aside from the adultery. George suggests that if you could love a good person, you would find a way to forgive them. Bree calls George a special man, and tells him that he deserves a special woman. George thinks so too, smiling…but under the table, his fist clenches hard. Man, George is so awesome.
Bree comes back to the Van De Kamp house, sneaking in and making sure that Rex doesn’t notice her coming home, moving quietly up the stairs as the camera reveals, however, that Rex is very much awake. Once Bree is gone, Rex turns over and sets his alarm, ready for sleep now.
And now, a word from our sponsors… It may be just me, but I think that the supporting characters are starting to carry their own weight in this show. Mike’s boss is an interesting, yet mysterious character, and George is just a freak who needs somebody to love but can’t possibly be loved because of his obsession with the un-attainable Bree. If this is the writers’ intention, then kudos to them.
At the Scavo house, Rodney is preparing a bagel for breakfast and quickly tries to get away from the kitchen, but Lynette arrives just in time to see Rodney leave. Rodney thought that he would go eat the bagel in his room, but Lynette points out that the house is not that big and Rodney is going to have to stop ignoring her eventually. Rodney decides to spill the beans about Lois: She isn’t a supplier. This is no big news to us or to Lynette, and now Rodney takes his chance to apologize. Rodney wonders if he can make it up to Lynette somehow, trying his best to make good out of a bad situation, but Lynette suggests that he first wipe the smirk off his face. Lynette wonders how he could do something like that to Allison, but Rodney doesn’t know how it happens, but he knows that it does happen a little bit at a time. Years go by and the kids start to burn you out, and Rodney spends time away from Allison more and more and they just drift apart. Rodney thinks that it’s complicated like that, but Lynette simply finds it irresponsible. I wish Pee-Wee Herman was there then to say “AHH! YOU JUST SAID THE MAGIC WORD!”, because that’s obviously what this episode is trying to hammer home–responsibility. Anyway, Rodney defends that he’s been married to a woman he doesn’t love for years since he made a vow to God, so Lynette should not be talking to him about being irresponsible. Lynette asks if Rodney is trying to be the victim here, and Rodney backpedals, saying that they’re just going to have to agree to disagree. I love that saying. But Lynette doesn’t, as she stops Rodney from taking his bagel and going into the other room. Rodney thinks that the conversation is done, however, since his sex life is his own business, not Lynette’s. After all, there’s nothing she can do about it anyway.
That is, until Rodney ends up on the front lawn with his bags beside him. Tom drives up just then, with a very funny look of bewilderment on his face as he pulls into the driveway. He exits his car and immediately asks what happened to his father, but Rodney doesn’t want to talk about it. Tom wants to know if Lynette has any idea that Rodney’s out here, but she definitely does. Rodney asks if Tom can take him to the airport, but Tom just tells Rodney to sit there and wait a moment as he jets off into the house.
Back in the house, as Tom wonders why his dad is sitting out on the curb. Lynette reveals to Tom that Rodney has been removed from the house. Tom remains calm and simply wants to know why this happened, but Lynette wants to hold on for a moment since he just made Tom a drink. Tom knows that something is up now, and asks Lynette what he did. Lynette moves on to explain the previous scene of her walking in on Rodney and Lois, and Lynette immediately tries to comfort Tom after breaking the news. Tom says that he’s okay, though, and that he should go have a talk with him…and that’s that. Lynette was expecting a bigger reaction, but Tom decides to drop a bomb by saying that he’s not all surprised by this, since his father has been having affairs for years. Lynette asks if this means that Tom knew about this, and in a way, Tom did. Tom says that most of it was in the past and he didn’t know that Rodney was still going at it, and in some strange way he’s actually impressed. This offends Lynette as she can’t possibly believe that Tom would be alright with this…and Tom definitely isn’t, she should have never been brought over to the house, but Lynette corrects him and mentions that she shouldn’t have been with Rodney in the first place. Tom continues to dig his hole deeper and deeper as he says that his mother’s made peace with it. Despite Lynette’s doubts about that, Tom is prepared to bring Rodney back into the house, put him back in his room and everyone can just cool off. Lynette refuses to let Rodney the Infidel back into the house, and now Tom decides to get defensive. It’s his father and his house, so Tom can decide what he wants to do.
Well, now Tom is outside of HIS house, as Rodney suggests that they go kick the door down, to which Tom sarcastically agrees with him and asks Rodney to let him know how that works out. Fun scene, but went on way too long for the weak comical payoff of having both father and son kicked out by the matriarch.
After that very long scene we now move to Apartment 23, as Gabrielle knocks on the door and a young man answers who looks impressed with what he sees, it’s not John, but John does live there.
Inside the apartment, John is very pleased that Gabrielle decided to visit him, since John was going to call again tomorrow. Gabrielle apologizes for not returning any of those calls, but John is just happy to see Gabrielle. John had heard about what happened to Carlos and found it sucky that she had to take a job, but John knows her well enough to know that she’ll survive. But John doesn’t want to talk anymore, he wants to hug. And so they do, and then John wants to kiss, but Gabrielle backs away and says that she did not come for that. She came to talk about him expanding his gardening business full-time in lieu of his scholarship. John explains that an opportunity has come along and for him to take advantage of it, he needs to start earning money. Gabrielle has no clue about what could be a more important opportunity than college, so John lets her in on the secret: Now that Mr. Solis can no longer provide security for Gabrielle, John and Gabrielle can finally be together, and he can finally move in to replace Carlos as the man of the house. Gabrielle is shocked into silence, and it only gets worse when John decides to hit a knee. Yes, that’s right. John is proposing to a married woman.
And now, a word from our sponsors… What was THAT? Quite the swerve, but I don’t think it was a welcome one. I think this episode would be good if it ended with Carlos getting wind of John’s proposal and beating the snot out of him.
Returning in the Mayer house, as Susan has volunteered to chaperone the dance. Julie knows exactly why she decided to do this, but Susan makes the excuse that Bree wanted volunteers, so she just had to pitch in. Susan doesn’t think that Julie will even know that she’s there. At least not that much. Susan then changes the subject, wondering if Julie knows that she can tell her mother anything. But Julie would tell her everything, which is…a lie. Susan reaches down for something (a diary?)…
But we quickly move right along to the Young house, as Zach is upset that Paul is just up and moving the Youngs elsewhere. Paul thinks that a fresh start is in order, but Zach can’t believe that with all the bad things happening in the neighborhood, he finally finds someone to talk to and now Paul wants to take that away from him. Paul wants to know what bad things Zach talks to her about, and Zach decides to take the opportunity to tell his father about how he’s been remembering things since his mother’s death. Like lots of blood, his mother screaming…and Dana. “I remember killing Dana.” Paul continues to work on Zach’s tie as he is now curious if Julie has told her mother about this. But Zach doesn’t know for sure. For those that didn’t watch this episode, Paul is helping with Zach’s tie as he gets ready for the school dance. But the tie is now acting as a noose as Paul begins to hear more and more things that he doesn’t want to hear. So Paul wants to hear everything that Zach told Julie, from the beginning.
Going on to Some Random School Dance, as Zach has arrived with a flower in hand. He was going to give it to Julie, but he noticed that none of the other girls were wearing flowers, so it’s clearly not that kind of dance. It’s fine if Julie doesn’t want to stand out, but Julie likes to stand out. And what better way to stand out than dancing with a murderer? So Zach puts the flower on Julie…as Susan watches on from the drink table…and Paul watches on from a distance.
Susan wants to know what Paul’s doing here, and Bree tells her that Paul called two hours ago and volunteered. Well, right in the nick of time, I’d say. Susan finds it weird that the other day, Paul didn’t really care about Zach and Julie dating, but now he’s chaperoning the dance. Bree suggests that he might be showing support for his brother, but Susan is skeptical.
Taking a quick skip over to Some Random Pharmacy, as George is working when Rex arrives. George goes to get a prescription that Rex’s cardiologist filled in, and as he does so, Rex asks if he’s seen Bree lately. George explains his encounter with Rex at the diner on Maple Avenue, and Rex wonders if talking was all that happened. George explains that they’re friends and nothing more, and Rex is glad to hear this. But Rex warns George that if he should ever get a vibe from Bree that she wants more than friendship, George needs to be careful. That gets George’s attention, as Rex points out that Bree would only be using George to even the score with Rex. Rex advises George not to fall for that trick, but George thinks that Bree is above such tricks, she’s a lady. Rex agrees, and points out that ladies tend up to end with doctors…not pharmacists. George once again reiterates that Bree is a very beautiful and classy woman, but she lacks perception. See, she thinks that Rex is a good person. But it’s clear now to George that Rex definitely isn’t. Rex would like to get his prescription now, so George easily finds the prescription, and then tells Rex that he can’t seem to find it and it’ll have to be delivered. Rex thanks George and the thanking is mutual as Rex leaves. And then George decides to get freaky, ripping Rex’s prescription open and throwing his pills away, going to the back to find some more…awesome scene, as Rex’s cocky delivery of the cold hard truth to George is excellent, but George continues to bring the awesome with his handling of the situation.
Back to the Dance, as the DJ slows things down a bit, with Paul very alert. Paul walks up to Susan at the punch table and asks Susan for a dance…since they’re playing a classic and everything. So Susan agrees, and I begin to worry that they’d seriously be working towards a Paul/Susan relationship. While dancing with Paul, Susan makes a confession that her concerns with Julie caused her to eavesdrop on Julie during a telephone conversation with Zach (as previously seen). Susan mentions that this conversation was particularly interesting since Zach was discussing with Julie what happened to Dana. Paul wonders how much she heard, and Susan responds with “everything.” So Paul explains that it was an accident, and that he didn’t mean to kill Dana. If it wouldn’t have been the corniest thing ever, they should have had the good ol’ “record scratch everything come to a screeching halt” gimmick. Anyway, Susan is surprised as Paul continues to explain that Zach was just a baby himself, he didn’t know what he was doing. Susan asks what happened, exactly, but Paul and Mary Alice never knew, since they heard Dana screaming and by the time they got to the room it was too late. Susan is so sorry, and Paul thanks her for her concern and grips her back a little tighter. Paul confesses that they kept it secret for all of those years since it was a very private matter and a dark chapter in their life that they did not want to relive. Susan would be appreciated if she kept her discretion, but all Susan can do is look at Zach and Susan enjoying themselves and saying “Sure”.
And now, a word from our sponsors… Still waiting for Susan to make an ass out of herself, as a school dance with Julie in attendance would be the perfect time to whip something out. But they seem to be going the serious route with her, although it’s getting a little silly as they seem to be building towards a Paul/Susan relationship? Which is just silly. I hope I’m only imagining it.
Outside of the now-over Dance, Paul asks Zach if he had a good time, and Zach definitely did. Once they get in the car, Zach apologizes for saying anything to Julie, but reassures his father that Julie has promised not to pass the secret on. Paul is okay with it since he handled Susan, but he wants to talk with Zach some more about the things that he remembers. Since they’re not true. What? Zach is just as confused as I am, but Paul thinks that memories lie. “You didn’t kill anyone. Dana is very much alive.” WHOA.
In front of the Solis’ house, Gabrielle and another car arrive at the same time, as an angry Helen hops out of her car and asks where the ring is. The ring that John gave to Gabrielle belonged to Helen’s grandmother, but Gabrielle insists that she’s obviously going to bring the ring back. Helen hopes that is so, because should Gabrielle decide to ruin John’s life, Helen will ruin Gabrielle’s. Bob wants Helen to go back to the car and calm down, and once she does, Gabrielle makes it clear that she’s not leaving Carlos to marry John. Bob thinks that’s wise and Gabrielle says that she will talk to John tomorrow about giving up the ring. Bob is fine with that and gets ready to head off, but Gabrielle wants to know one thing: It’s okay for Helen to be angry with Gabrielle, but why is Bob so nice to Gabby? Bob explains that John’s a big boy, and whatever happened was his mistake as much as it was Gabrielle’s. Gabrielle would understand if Bob hated her a little, though. But Bob explains that he always played by the rules when he was a kid. But he can’t help but think how wonderful it would’ve been to make one mistake like Gabrielle. Gabrielle thinks that’s very sweet. “Yeah. I’m a little sweet. Mostly I’m just middle-aged.” And with that awkward moment gone, Bob is off…
…and we’re back at the Young house, as Paul asks if Zach is holding up since it’s a lot to hear at once. Zach is fine, since his father finally decided to tell him the truth. One thing he wants to know, though, is why Zach is learning this now. Paul doesn’t want Zach to have the burden of thinking that he’s a murderer when it isn’t the truth, is all. Or was it that he didn’t want Zach running his mouth? Paul doesn’t find that to be the case, but Zach thinks so. Zach will keep his secret, but now they aren’t moving. Paul doesn’t think that’s even a question now, but Zach doesn’t want to leave Julie and if Paul wants Zach’s support, that’s the way it’s got to be. Should Paul refuse? “You won’t.”
Finally moving to the Scavo house again, as Lynette apologizes about how she acted before, but Tom doesn’t think an apology will work since he was thrown out of his own house. Lynette apologizes again for overreacting, but Tom tries to explain that he loves his mom, but how she decides to live her life is completely up to her. Lynette knows Tom is right, but she got so upset because–well, Lynette tries to kill the subject dead, and then tries to act like she’s going to get some sleep, but when Tom allows her to get it off her chest, Lynette launches into a rant about Tom knowing that Rodney was having an affair and yet it didn’t seem to bother Tom that much, which worries Lynette. If he can find it in his heart to condone something like that, what’s stopping Tom from bagging a Lois of his own? Or two? Tom isn’t his father, though, and Lynette knows this, and now Tom wants to go to sleep. But Lynette makes it clear that she is definitely not Tom’s mother, because if Lynette is ever betrayed, she will leave Tom, taking the kids and walking right out the door. Lynette is glad to get it off her chest, but Tom looks understandably worried. Uh-oh. Guilty conscience?
In the kitchen, Rodney arrives to sit at the table realizing that his son couldn’t sleep either. Rodney decides to apologize for the earlier events, but Tom isn’t upset about that. Rodney wants to know what’s wrong then, and Tom reveals that there’s something that Lynette doesn’t know about, something that he did, but he doesn’t know what’s going to happen if Lynette ever finds out about it. Oh no.
And now, a word from our sponsors… Whee. This last half of DH has been fun. We’ve had Paul playing mindgames with Zach and Susan, and I don’t think Susan will have time to make an ass out of herself in this episode. What a breath of fresh air that is, huh? Tom/Lynette may seem boring, but the unpredictable Lynette will make it great once she finally figures out what happened.
HOME STRETCH, as we’re back in Apartment 23. Gabrielle has returned the engagement ring to John, which is very upsetting to the infidel as he throws a glass against the wall. John doesn’t understand what’s going on, since he knows that Gabrielle loves him. Gabby explains that that isn’t enough, but where would they live if they were together, with his roommates? Not in a bathroom where the only decoration is a bong. John thinks that they could get their own place, but John is barely making minimum wage. Sure they’d be poor at first, but they’d be happy. Gabrielle has been there before, however, and it wasn’t that happy. Mr. Solis is going to jail, so wouldn’t Gabrielle want to get away from all of that? But Gabrielle feels that sometimes, she has to do the right thing. John wonders if his love for Gabrielle means anything to her. So Gabrielle gets honest with John and calls him a toy–a sweet, dumb toy. John might as well go to college, since there’s no future for Gabrielle and John. John storms out of the apartment…
…as Zach arrives at the doorstep of the Mayer house, asking for Julie when Susan answers the door. Julie’s in the shower, but Zach came by to give some good news. It turns out that Paul and Zach aren’t moving after all since Paul reconsidered, and so they’re just going to keep living across the street. Susan is surprised, and then asks Zach to sit down for a talk. Zach then turns and notices Julie’s flower on the ledge near the front door, as Zach mentions that Julie is the first girl he’s ever given to a flower. Furthermore, Zach really, really likes Julie. Susan repeats that Julie is only 14 years old and when girls are that age, they make mistakes. And with Julie being Susan’s daughter, it is her responsibility to protect her. Zach wonders if Julie needs protection from Zach, but Susan lies and thinks that things should be slowed down and Zach should not see her for awhile. But Zach says no, Susan isn’t taking Julie away from him. Susan laughs, but Zach snaps, and asks if she really thinks that this is funny, even spinning some kind of furniture around. Susan has her work cut out for her now, because Zach is now forbidden to ever see Julie ever again and should Zach come within 10 feet of Julie, the police will be called. Susan wants Zach to get out, and Zach definitely does, dropping the flower on his way out. Susan picks the flower up, and then shuts the door.
Dead Woman Narrating goes into her final spiel about responsibility, how the time comes when all of us must become responsible adults…as we see John getting the ring taken away from him.
And learn to give up what we want so we can choose to do what is right…as Carlos and Gabrielle share a good night kiss.
Of course, a lifetime of responsibility isn’t always easy…as we see Bree handing Rex his medication once again.
And as the years goes on, it’s a burden that can become too heavy for some to bear…as Rodney leaves the Scavo house.
But still, we try to do what is best–what is good–not only for ourselves, but for those we love…as Susan goes to knock on Julie’s door…but Julie has disappeared out the window.
And now we cut to Some Random Place, as Zach is pacing nervously, but Julie arrives. Julie can’t stay long, since Susan will freak if she finds them. Julie knows now that Zach and herself can’t see each other again, but she wonders what they’ll do know. Zach doesn’t know for sure…
Yes, sooner or later, we must all become responsible adults. No one knows this better than the young…as Zach and Julie dance together at the Random Place.
End show!
So is Dana dead or alive? I think she’s definitely dead, as Paul was just telling Zach that so Zach would shut his mouth through all the confusion that he was experiencing. Although it’d be a nice swerve for Dana to show up on the doorstep of the Young house, it truly is wishful thinking. Paul is just a very deceptive, deceptive man.
A lack of Mike is not acceptable after learning about Dierdre and Mike being on a mission from his dying boss, determined to make it worth the boss’ while. A lack of Edie was very much welcome, though, and I encourage the writers to continue such a practice in the future.
