Remote Destination

Before I get into the column, I have to note the passing of Johnny Carson. I’m barely old enough to have experienced Johnny. At the time of his last show I didn’t quite understand all the fuss. I mean I knew had been around for a long time, but I still didn’t quite get it.

However, upon his passing I can see much more clearly. In an age where everything is disposable, has a limited shelf life and fame is fleeting it’s nearly impossible to grasp someone being at the top of their field for thirty years. Yet Johnny made it look easy.

Johnny was one of the last remaining icons. He was a celebrity, yet not really “Hollywood.” He could appeal to the everyman, without stooping to the most common denominator. He possessed actual wit.

In recent years he had kept a low profile, but for those people who longed to entertain his professionalism provided constant inspiration. His contribution to the culture is sorely missed..

Mathan’s Obligatory Rave About The Wire

I picked up the second season of The Wire this week. Now I’m an admitted fan of the show, but this show is without a doubt the best-written show on television, period. During my marathon viewing session of Season One, I picked up on what I had missed by not catching it the first time.

I’ve currently only viewed the first four episodes of Season Two, and I’ve already noticed things that missed watching it the first time around. Plus I can see the links between the three seasons much more clearly. I seriously marvel at this series.

Which brings me to my main point; y’all should really help me in trying to Save The Wire. Remember that show that you loved and how you felt when it was canceled? Don’t you want me to avoid feeling that way? Please, help me save the show that I love so much.

Last Week’s Viewing

Arrested Development – This show is wacky without being zany or kooky. I’m oddly glad to see George Michael’s cousin lust revived. Have I ever expressed my love for the faux previews? This show has yet to disappoint me.

Carnivale – I’m intrigued again. Brother Justin’s idea of prayer is very, um, interesting. That family (inbreds?) that caught Ben was way creepy. Not enough bearded woman this episode though.

Unscripted – Why am I still watching this show? Because I’m too lazy to change the channel. And Krista Allen is pretty attractive. Again, this show is more “oh, I see” than “I’ve gotta see.”

24 – Jack manages to save the day. Navi Araz makes the tough call to “off” his kid, Behrooz. I think he made the right call. Behrooz was weak, he need to get done. But Behrooz got some points by actually avoiding his fate (hey, I give credit where credit is due.)

James Heller is still alive. Damn. I have to suspect that Audrey’s (ex)husband is part of the overall scheme. I appreciate the fact that he was perceptive enough to sense something was going on between Jack and Audrey. The cliffhanger didn’t really leave me wanting more. Eh.

Smallville – Kind of a boring episode, especially considering it’s a “Red K” episode. I did feel kind of bad for Clark to have someone he didn’t have to hide from, and lose her.

But seriously what’s up with Jason and Lana. I know it sounds odd that I can accept the idea that Clark can be from another planet. And that I can accept all the strange things that happen in Smallville, or the seemingly unlimited resources a place named “Smallville” has. But I cannot accept that Lana and Jason haven’t shagged.

Jason met Lana in Paris. I can deal with that. And if I don’t think too hard, I can accept that that Jason could possibly move to Smallville to court her. But I can’t accept that Jason and Lana could cohabitate without shagging.

Furthermore Jason is old enough to coach in high school, so I’m saying he’s early twenties. And he’s hooking up with Lana, who’s seventeen?! What’s up with that? Lana’s a virgin? Boo.

American Idol – It’s kind of telling that some people want to be the next American Idol while apparently an equal number want to be the next “William Hung”.

Jack & Bobby – Finally this show returns. It’s been so long I forgot about Jack’s beatdown. It was a suitable return. Sadly there wasn’t too much Bobby this week.

Jack’s injury was brutal. It killed me. I was waiting for it, but it never came, so when it did come it shocked me. I enjoyed Grace getting caught. She tried to get that one extra lie in there and it blew everything to bits. Comedy.

Tilt – Taped it, haven’t watched it. But I know that it needs to get a new song to go with the commercials for the show. That skim In The Club sucks.

Oz (edited for Joe ReidSomebody) – Another week, another two episodes. I’m really diggin’ _______ losing control of his anger, what a great turn. _______ found out that ________ had his son killed, and shanked him. _______ also got shanked, but because he wanted to, clearly he is crazy. I enjoyed ______ saying “no” to everyone this week, it was subtle, but a nice touch. ________’s mom is volunteering in Oz, which bodes well for neither of them. ________ and _______ have both returned to Oz, which makes _______ happy and ______ perturbed. Surprise, surprise ______ got raped”¦.again. But honestly who hasn’t wondered who was larger; ______ or _______?

Greatest Show Ever”¦this week; Scrubs – This is one of my delights of the week. Has there ever been a truer reaction to someone not being pregnant? This is also one of the few shows that can pull in big name stars, and not really have it feel to forced. This shows is like “Parker Lewis Works In Hospital”, and that’s a good thing. Colin’s inclusion worked rather well, particularly how they played on his charming everyone. It was nice to see Janitor switch his style up too. As usual, I can’t wait until the next episode.

I’m Not Perfect

So I’ve officially given up on Desperate Housewives. I accidentally taped the wrong channel on Sunday Night, thus I didn’t record Desperate Housewives or Boston Legal.

And y’know what? I didn’t miss Desperate Housewives at all. I didn’t miss the way the stretched out storylines. I didn’t miss the forced comedy. I didn’t miss the neglected storylines. I now plan on reading or writing something while my roommate watches this overrated show.

Brother versus Brother Savagery

Last week I asked;

Bad news; for some reason you’ve got to relive your Junior High & High School years. Good news; you have a choice of where in the TV Universe you get to go to school. The “Worse Than Bad News”; you’ve got to go to school with a Savage Brother, either Fred or Ben.

Now this is a serious decision to make, where do you want to relive your adolescence; Robert F. Kennedy Junior High School (The Wonder Years) or John Adams Junior High School (Boy Meets World).

My first response came from loyal reader George M. who wrote;

Hmm, my gut tells me go with Fred’s high school. Think about the time warp, VD hasn’t spread like wildfire yet, the music was better then too. I could also buy important issues like Amazing Fantasy #15 for cheap, thereby getting a nice piece of history. Unfortunately TV sucked back then and I’d probably get drafted and subsequently get shot by NVA.

So I think I’d go take Ben’s school. Besides, William Daniels is cool. But then again his school is white suburb kids (except for Angela, who may have been affirmative action [and in a show all about drama, how
come the interracial relationship was never touched on, it’s like they’re so common that no one bats an eye?])

So Ben’s school is more boring, while Fred’s has excitement and free love. I guess I have to go with Fred’s, more sex.

I also received a response from Brian;

I’d go with John Adams, hotter chicks, cooler teachers, and Mr Feeney can flat out sing about the American Government. plus Topanga was hotter then Winnie Cooper.

Now I also posed the question to my coworkers. Fortunately everyone was familiar with both shows this time around, which made me fake research easy. Here are the responses;

I’m going where the best drugs are, The Wonder Years!

Boy Meets World, Topanga was cool.

Feeny was cool, Boy Meets World

Winnie was way hotter than Topanga. The Wonder Years

Rider Strong was kind of cute, Boy Meets World

The Wonder Years had much better music.

The Wonder Years was too serious, Boy Meets World seems like more fun.

As for my answer I’m torn. I really want to experience The Wonder Years because it was a nice turbulent time, which I think I would have fit right in. However Boy Meets World is much more fun and lighthearted.

I guess it really boils down to where I would fit in the best. The Wonder Years might be kind of fun to experience but it would be tough to live through. Boy Meets World on the other hand is more like the high school that I went to. I’m pretty sure that I could rise to the top of the food chain of John Adams High. Thus I’m going with John Adams High. (Plus Topanga is hotter than Winnie.)
Of course this brings me to everyone favorite segment of the column;

Good News/Bad News/Question of the Week

Good news; you’re on vacation. Bad news; it’s in Baltimore. Good News; it’s all expense paid. Bad news; you get murdered. Maybe you were killed in a hostage situation. Maybe it was a botched robbery. Perhaps you’re even a innocent victim. Or maybe it’s drug deal gone wrong. The point is you’re dead.

Which Baltimore cop do you want to investigate your murder; Jim McNulty or Frank Pembleton?

Email me or add your comment at the bottom of the column. I’m curious about your answers.

Sausage Links

Patrick tells you even more about Raymond.

Johnny Carson – 1925-2005.

Brian gives props to Johnny and Steve.

Poor Cheri

Didey watched some shows.

Coogan has news and views.

Matthew is full of Law & Order.


Aaron’s new column isn’t up yet. But here’s my prediction; two Golden Girls references, one Oz reference, one sublime Transformers reference, and, I’m going out on a limb, a Designing Women reference.

Joe, meanwhile, has his 25 Most Looked Forward To Movies of 2005 and honestly, it’s got me excited for flicks. Kudos Joe.

Greatest Video Ever”¦this week

TLC – Baby, Baby, Baby – Ah the vibrantly colored early ’90s. What a happy time. TLC’s video depicts college life in Atlanta, complete with sneaking into rooms. It’s just like my college life, only without the “being robbed at gunpoint” and bloodshed. But there are condoms, plenty of condoms.

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