The Weekly Pulse: The Gatekeeper's Guide to Movies

Archive

Hi-low everyone. This is the Weekly Puse for Movies and I am your lovable internet personality, Shaun Norton. Let’s get right into it today.

Real Life is Damn Entertaining

So, moving back into school was fun this week. I’ve got some decent classes with a moderate/slightly sucky workload. Hopefully, said workload will not often interfere with the continued timeliness of this column (Which you all rely on, right?) And, I will spare you the inner-workings of my personal thoughts, and just say that I need to figure out a way out of my anti-social ‘rut’ so to speak. But this type of thing is what blogs and whatnot are all about, so enough of that.

Your President (God knows he’s not mine – lying thief) presented a wonderfully desperate State of the Union last night, where he promised to continue the fight for freedom (Freedom in Iran and Syria, anyway) and to gut Social Security like a fish. Sure, he talked about other things two, but this is what the news is focusing on, and I sure as hell didn’t watch this guy last night. Two thoughts:

1) War with Iran means war with (at least) Russia, if not China as well. Don’t believe me? Russia just agreed to launch Iran’s spy-satellites, and China has been making some serious power moves in oil the past few months. Wait and see.

2) There is nothing wrong with Social Security – it is another lie as sky-high as WMD in Iraq. This one is too huge for me to touch on alone – read This article to find out just what the hell Bush is really thinking about here.

You Mean Inside Pulse Talks About Stuff Besides Movies?

Turns out we do.

Wrestling – Rob Blatt deconstructs the Royal Rumble as only he can.

Games – The North American PSP Launch is finally revealed in detail. Wait a second…..$250?!!? I’ll wait for my Next-Box/PS3/Ninteno Revolution thank you very much.

Oh, and Liquidcross is Angry about EA. Preach on!

TV – Martha Stewart gets her own apprentice show. Words cannot describe……

Sports, Comics, and Figures are fantastic sections if you’re into anything they’ve got to give you (Which is a lot).

And I’d pimp a certain….’gloom’-like person, but I’m afraid McCullar will stab me out of jealousy. No, really, I am.

News You can Use – And We Abuse

You know the deal by now. J. Kern and myself take most of the news from the week, post it here in one easy-to-find spot, and then commentate on/make fun of/rip it up. The headlines are in bold, the news story underneath, and then our comments on said story.

Producer Talks Evil Dead Remake

Rob Tapert, producer on the planned Evil Dead remake, recently spoke to Sci-Fi.com (http://www.scifi.com) about the challenges that lie ahead in doing a remake of one of the classic cult horror flicks of our time. The remake is currently being planned with original Evil Dead director Sam Raimi and star Bruce Campbell attached to serve as producers on the project.

“It took a long time to get to the point where we wanted to remake it,” Tapert said in an interview. “The funny thing is, nothing is as you would expect. Our original investors and I think [original Evil Dead star] Bruce [Campbell] and myself were more resistant to remaking the movie than Sam.”

Tapert says that Sam was the person who led the charge on the project, and that he believes a remake can work. “As long as we stay true to what was the original model of the first Evil Dead, which was that we want to hurt and punish the audience, then those who love it will be satisfied,” Tapert said. “We mean to bring that out to a whole new generation in something that honors all of the people that loved it and yet gives them a new and thrilling ride that they weren’t expecting. That’s the challenge, and hopefully if we succeed that’s kind of the glory.”

Kern: See, now that’s why I respect those guys. “We want to hurt and punish the audience.” THAT’S honesty. The people that made Taxi? They pretend like they were trying to be funny. Saw? Punishing. Not in a scary way so much as a “No, i have no screenwriting experience. How did i get the job? Well, there was this dare…”
Norty: They should make a movie about that. How the creators and writers were put in charge of such films, and their diabolical plans for audiences world wide.

Jimmy Olsen, Martha Kent Cast in Superman Movie

Sam Huntington (Not Another Teen Movie, Jungle2Jungle), has won the much coveted role of Jimmy Olsen in Bryan Singer’s new Superman film. Olsen was a wide-eyed photographer who even had a watch with a Superman signal. Olsen had his own comic in the 1960s and ’70s titled Superman’s Pal, Jimmy Olsen. Since the late ’80s, the comics have portrayed Olsen in a more serious light. Marc McClure played him in Dick Donner’s films.

Huntington’s rivals for the role of Olsen are rumoured to have included X-Men 2 star Shawn Ashmore and That 70’s Show star Topher Grace. At one stage, Adam Brody, of The OC, was also said to be a favourite for the part. Huntington joins Brandon Routh as Clark Kent/Superman, Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor, Hugh Laurie as Daily Planet editor-in-chief Perry White and James Marsden as Richard White. Kate Bosworth is still in negotiations to play Lois Lane, according to this the trade.

Also, Eve Marie Saint has been cast as Martha Kent.

Norty: Great job by Singer so far. It’s shaping up nicely.
Kern: Well, with a track record like that, how could they go wrong? It is a good rule of thumb that any movie with the numeral “2” in it is no good. When the “2” is in the middle of the title? You’re done. Go home, call your agent and fire him.
Norty: What the hell are you talking about?
Kern: The guy is credited with Not Another Teen Movie (aka Not Another Collection of Poop Jokes Strung Together By 3rd Rate Parodies of Movies That Are Already 3rd Rate Parodies) and Jungle2Jungle. Jungle2Jungle is more a debit than a credit, in my ever-so-humble opinion, but I’m not smart enough to make The Usual Suspects either, so I s’pose I’m not the guy to talk.
Norty: Well, some guys need shit work before making it into the big leagues. I found him kinda funny in Not Another Teen, actually. Shoot me, I’m easy to please.
Kern: Now, don’t go beating yourself up. I’m told that most child pornography is really quite sophisticated. And since I’ve amassed quite a collection, I can safely say that I’ve got quite a distinguished palate for cinematic fare.
Norty: Haha. Golden.
Kern: It’s funny ‘cuz it’s true…

Cast Grows for Ice Age Sequel

Drea De Matteo (Joey), Queen Latifah and Ray Romano has officially joined the voice-cast of Fox’s Ice Age 2 : The Meltdown.

Matteo will play Sith’s (voiced by John Leguizamo) love interest in the sequel to the icy family hit, whilst TV fave Romano returns to voice the role of Manfred. Singer turned actress Latifah will be playing a female Mammoth – someone for Manfred to cuddly with in an icy cave. Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel (Multiplicity), have penned the story for the follow-up. The sequel will be in theatres next year.

Kern: i hear they used Queen Latifah as a body model for the mammoth in the last picture, so it’s good she finally gets some voice time too. They may have to shave down her tusks so she can get near the mic, but it’s a small price to pay… I apologize. That was a cheap shot. I’m still a little tender over the whole Taxi thing, you understand… Her goddamn walrus whiskers took up so much of the screen, I could hardly drink in the genius of the Fallon.
Norty: Think about the hott-ness that is Drea. Granted, you won’t SEE her, but the thought alone is enough to get your mind off the tusks and idiot combo.
Kern: i wouldn’t know. i’d rather be trampled by a Wooly Latifah than watch anything even remotely related to Friends.
Norty: She was on sopranos
Kern: Do I LOOK like I can afford HBO? I’m still catching up on my M*A*S*H reruns, what makes you think I’m up to the Sopranos?
Norty: *Shrug* Shes hott and she was everywhere when the Sopranos were huge.
Kern: Oh, is she the one who falls in love with Hawkeye?
Norty: Hawkeye: ?
Kern: Old people jokes. Move along.

Real-time 9/11 Film in the Works

Sony/Columbia Pictures has purchased the rights to 102 Minutes, a book to be published by New York Times writers Jim Dwyer and Kevin Flynn. The book tells stories of heroism as well as incompetence during the September 11th tragedy, starting at 8:46 A.M., when the first plane hit the World Trade Center tower, til 10:28 A.M. when the first tower collapsed. The movie will have a ticking clock chronicling the events in real-time; much like the television show 24.

Norty: When I first heard of this, I instantly thought of Jack having 3 hours to kill the terrorists and save as many people as he could. TV has made me an insensative asshole to tragedy. Well, TV and the lies behind the tragic-ness.
Kern: Also the same gimmick used in Julia-Louis Dreyfuss’ ill-fated sitcom sinker. So lets not go nuts here. Wait, wait wait … Are you sure you didn’t get this story mixed up with the story about Die Hard 4?
Norty: Pretty sure…..unless you know something I don’t.
Kern: i hear in Lethal Weapon 5, they’re going after bin Laden. Gonna get James Woods to play Hussein. It’ll be fabulous.
Norty: Yeah. I’m sure that’s as likely as Rambo going after Osama. Or another Rocky or……wait a second…
Kern: Dolph Lundgren is in talks to film “Masters of the Universe 2” with Skeletor in a turban.

Updates on X-Men 3 and Spiderman 3

Alan Cumming told Coming Soon (www.comingsoon.net) that he’ll be back for X-Men 3, and that he’s expecting to be on-set in June.

“I signed for two films, so I’m going to. The last I heard is that we’re starting on the 20th of June, but they don’t have a script or a director yet so that may be pushed a little bit. But they have to release it in May of 2006 for some reason so it’s gonna be shot in the summer,” Cumming said.

“And it’s one of these things, I kind of just want to know I’m going to do it cause it affects your whole life. You can do other things cause you know that it’s a large amount of time; I’m going to a show on Broadway which I moved to January of next year just to make sure I finished X-Men…Every film you do you have to tell them just in case they’re going to get it together really fast. You’re under some options; it’s quite weird.”

Meanwhile, a scooper for Superhero Hype (www.superherohype.com) got word from J.K Simmons (Jonah Jameson in the Spider-Man films) that Spider-Man 3 starts shooting in three months. The release date is May 4, 2007.

Norty: I <3 X-Men. I miss Bryan Singer
Kern: Eh … X-2 coulda done with a little of Cummings Broadway expertise. Think of how awesome the movie would have been if the mutants all lined up Rockettes style … Maybe Wolvie coulda put on his tap shoes … and who can forget the Bobby Drake / Rogue Ice Capades extravaganzer?
Norty: Are you tired? Hungry? Drunk? That was horrible.
Kern: Don’t deny it! You’ll be the first guy in line when they announce X! the Musical. Suck it, Michael Crawford! We got muties!
Norty: I don’t think so. All the talent of a hundred Hugh Jackmans couldn’t get me to see that show. Well, right away anyway.
Kern: Wouldn’t know it from all the beefcake posters of Jackman in your bedroom…
Norty: You’re 3000 miles away from me. How would you know what hangs in my room?
Kern: ::shakes head:: You and 10,000 other internet writers…
Norty: Keep out of the Meow Mix man, it’s messing with your head.

Bait and Switch!!!!

So Kern disappeared on me midway through again, and I was left holding the bag-o-news, so to speak. But, never fear, because our friendly neighborhood Canuck, Brendan Campbell, was there in a flash ready to jump in and finish this part of the column.

Ben Stiller to Produce Blades of Glory

Dreamworks has purchased the rights to Blades of Glory by first-time writers Craig and Jeff Cox. The film is described as a comedy set in the world of ice skating. Ben Stiller will be producing along with partner Stuart Cornfeld. The script tells the story of two former ice skating rivals stripped of their 2002 Olympic medals and banned from men’s skating. But due to a loophole in the rules, they are able to enter the next Olympic games together for the pair competition.

No word yet on the potential cast, or if Ben Stiller will have an on-screen role in the film.

Campbell: Well this definitely has “Frat Pack” written all over it. Stiller will definitely star, alongside Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Will Farrell and Luke Wilson…in some form or another. Though I’d say this could be a classic Stiller/Owen Wilson combo flick.
Norty: No word on the cast though. He might not star in it – giving someone else to shine. I don’t want to see Zoolander – on Ice!
Campbell: Come on! Ice Skaters are really, ridiculously good looking too! Nah, it’d flop with someone else. With Stiller producing I can almost guarantee that he’ll star alongside one of those stars previously mentioned…likely Owen. Which rocks becuase they’ve got incredible comedic chemistry. And don’t act like you didn’t love Zoolander! EVERYONE loves Zoolander…some are just still in the closet about it.
Norty: I did love it. But I don’t need it – or Stiller – on ice.
Norty: Moving on

Sam Raimi Knows Next Spidey Villan is – Refuses to Tell

Sam Raimi revealed that they have decided on who will be the villain in Spider-Man 3, but he’s not saying who it is.

“Alvin Sargent is writing the screenplay right now,” Raimi told the site. “I’m not supposed to [talk about the villain]. When Sony Pictures decides to release the villain they do it in conjunction with Marvel Comic books. Avi Arad is the president there and my producer, and they’re really the ones that decide how they’re going to present this to the fans of the comic and they love doing it with a lot of drama and a big splash. So they consult with me, but it’s really something…they really want to please the fans and do it in a very particular way.”

Campbell: This is awesome. I’m stoked already! I have no idea who it could be. I’ve read that they figure out what Peter’s story will be about, and then choose the villain that will best go up against that…so I have no idea who it’s going to be! I COULD see a smaller cameo…maybe like a Rhyno type start…then the main guy comes in. Obviously, everyone wants Venom…I don’t know who I want, as long as the story is as great as the second.
Norty: True enough. I want Venom. Actually, I’ll be happy as long as it isn’t Goblin 2.0. That’d be lame, no matter how awesome the story. Okay maybe not, but I’m still Anti-Goblin.
Campbell: I’ve read an interview with Raimi where he states that just because Harry finds the outfit, doesn’t mean that he becomes the Goblin. Raimi stated something along the lines of, what if he found it, and realized all this time that his father was really a murderer, and thus, putting that story to rest.
Norty: Yeah. Maybe. Could be throwing off the fans though. He’s smart – that’s why I admire him a lot.

More Evil Dead News

Producer Rob Tapert also talked to the magazine about the Evil Dead remake that he, Raimi, and original star Bruce Campbell are producing. In regards to recasting the project, Tapert says, “It will be off of the original movie. It’s five kids go to a cabin, but it’s not a continuation of the existing ‘Evil Dead’ backstory.”

And while Evil Dead put Raimi on the “it” list, Tapert says they’re hoping to do the same with another filmmaker. “There are people who we would like to give a chance to create their own vision as to what ‘Evil Dead’ is, so we’re kind of hearing what other people’s take might be and moving forward along those lines.”

Something that may be of interest to fans, Dante Tomaselli is apparently very interested in directing this remake. Tomaselli says he’s a huge fan of Sam Raimi’s original and would clear his schedule if someone chose him to direct the recently announced remake.

“I’d love to direct an Evil Dead project. I’ve been wanting to make an all-out zombie splatter film for a long time. Something hard-core and gory as hell. I like that Tapert wants to produce a film that is an “assault.” I have a track record…3 features now — and I can certainly work on low budgets. Hell, I even have Ellen (Cheryl from the original) Sandweiss in my new film, Satan’s Playground. She had so many interesting stories to tell about the making of the original. I’m planning on shooting The Ocean next, but I’d drop everything if this opportunity presented itself. I’m a die-hard Evil Dead fan; I saw the cult classic in 1981 in theaters when I was 11″.

Norty: This will be sub-titled the Evil Dead column this week I bet, but I don’t care. I’ve got hope for this remake if they put Tomaselli behind the camera. And keey William Scott AWAY from the set at all times. Or, they could have him show up and kill him off especially brutally. Ahhh, to dream.
Campbell: I don’t know. I mean, Evil Dead are cult classics…I can’t see this film without Bruce in it! Remakes aren’t always bad. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake was A MILLION times better than the original, I don’t care who says otherwise. But the Evil Dead movies weren’t GREAT “movies”…Bruce Campbell saved them. Period. A remake of those…could be hard to do. I mean, would they TRY to make it better? I’ve heard they’d stay cheesy like the original…would audiences accept that now? I don’t think so…even if done intentionally.
Norty: Cult classics that are amazingly popular. I can really see people flocking to this, especially when they put the Hype Machine behind it. Oh Gawd, a good horror movie – based on Evil Dead. Right now it’s too good to be true.
Campbell: But no Bruce Campbell…*sigh*…I don’t know…maybe if they cast Keanu Reeves in his place I’ll check it out.
Norty: ……….You disgrace my column with he-who-cannot-act-and-thus-will-not-be-named?
Campbell: Sorry, I won’t mention Bruce again. OH SNAP!
Norty: !!!!!!!!!! BLASHPHEMOUS!! I shall saw your hand off and attach an empty shotgun to it, then sick the hordes of hell upon your Canadian ass and see how well YOU do, Keanu lover………you disgust me.

Most of the Cast Won’t be Returning for T4

Nick Stahl revealed that it is unlikely he or Claire Danes will return for Terminator 4.

Stahl says, “None of the cast is coming back. The [T4] story is changing conceptually. I believe it’s a jump to the future, so my character will be quite a bit older. That’s all that I know. So I’m not coming back, which is a drag.”

It’s also been revealed that while filmmakers has written in a cameo for Arnold Schwarzenegger, Schwarzenegger will not film the sequence unless the movie is filmed in California. Currently, plans are for Terminator 4 to be filmed overseas.

Norty: The Terminator franchise needs to be shot and killed now. It’s run its course. Either Cameron should have directed the snooze-fest that was three, and then maybe gone with four, or they should have jumped right into the future. Now though, it’s just a shame.
Campbell: I don’t really know what’s going on with it. Three wasn’t HORRIBLE, and I liked the ending…but I mean, it had so many of the same spots as the previous two. Since they’re doing another reglardless, they need to drop Arny, and give it a shot with someone new. I’ve heard The Rock…but I think The Rock would be better as the hero in a future Predator film…though I could see him as The Terminator. I actually was hoping they’d have Rock/Vin Diesel…that’d be a cool clash for some action!
Norty: How do you drop Arny? He was the T-100, the FIRST terminator. You can’t do it without Arny, unless you go into the future, and then its defeating the purpose. Semantics – you have hope, I do not.
Campbell: Yeah, but Arny can make a cameo…and the future may be the ONLY way to save this whole thing! Imagine a huge war and now it’s present day, they’re fighting for survival, because after part 3 it showed that it could never be stopped…so now, they HAVE to fight for survival…so they bring out…The Rock-1000…to face off against The T-Diesel…that’d be wicked fun!
Norty: It’s not present day. They’re flashing ahead Campbell – an old John Connor. Although, now that I think about it, that could be the way to get around the Arny thing.
Campbell: *sigh* That’s what I said…flashing forward, okay, I meant present day as in the future…which makes no sense, but leave me alone. But yes, the whole future thing would be awesome and could spawn a whole new series of films! The ‘back in time’ approach is DEAD like you said. The future…that’s a whole new area! I’m stuck on The Rock here though…he could be awesome.
Norty: You’d have heard about it by now. Far as I know they’re close to shooting, and if his huge name was attached (Or Vin) rumors would be flying a lot more fiercly than they are now. But, if they make a whole new series of films, the door would be open in the future.

Two More Join Pirates Cast

Stellan Skarsgard and Naomie Harris will be joining the two Pirates of the Caribbean sequels, both of which are being filmed back-to-back. The sequels are reuniting the main players from the 2003 blockbuster, including actors Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, director Gore Verbinski, screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio, and producer Jerry Bruckheimer. In the new films, Skarsgard will play Bloom’s long-lost father, and Harris will play a gypsy queen.

The film is due out the summer of 2006.

Campbell: Great, awesome…if they don’t just make a sequel for the sake of making a sequel, this could be a huge franchise!
Norty: Yeah. Very true. But I hesitate to get excited about original triologies after the first movie was such a success. I mean, look at the Matrix. Great first film, HORRID second and third. So I’ll play wait and see with this one.
Campbell: Ohhhh…that was a cheap shot where I don’t have enough room to defend it properly! Blast! All I’ll say is that The Matrix trilogy was one of the better made trilogies EVER! Great story, great cast, and great overall production. I mean, if you’re going to throw rocks in a glass house, you better be ready for some…stuff…to break!
Norty: It sucked. Deal. What, do you not get enough good movies north of the border? Jeez man – okay, this next news byte will make you happy.

Another Huge Star Joins Scorsese Film

Martin Scorsese has scored another major actor to star in his latest film, The Departed. Oscar winning actor, Jack Nicholson, has been cast opposite Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon in Scorsese’s latest film. Nicholson will play an Irish gang boss targeted by two undercover cops (DiCaprio and Damon).

Filming starts in April.

Campbell: Very awesome! That sounds like a classic in the making. Just from that tidbit, it’s like they can’t go wrong!
Norty: Yes. Coogan was so excited to post it he ignored my byte and posted his own. That’s how much this movie is shaping up to own. And, of course, Kern hates it. In some ways, you’re decent to work with Campbell.
Campbell: That’s what Laurence Fishburne said to Keanu Reeves!! You’re saying we’re like Laurence and Keanu! Wicked!
Norty: I’d be Laurence, you’d be Keanu, and then I’d kill you for helping to ruin my franchise. Dick.
Campbell: It’s Neo.
Norty: And then Jack Nicholson, demi-God, would bring you back to life, and kill you again, because you suck so damn much you made JACK F’N NICHOLSON mad. So let that be a lesson – Nicholson is the man, and Neo was a waste of film.
Campbell: Nicholson is very cool…and he wears dark sunglasses all the time, just like Neo…maybe he’s the anomole! No! Jack Nicholson is an older Neo! Neo was Keanu Reeves! That means Jack Nicholson is a vision of Keanu Reeves in the future! Man…Keanu better clear off his awards shelf!
Norty: I hope thousands of angry movie fans spill your blood for that unbelieveable statement of disrespect.

Breaking News: EVIL DEAD 4 TO BE MADE

Sam Raimi told Bloody Disgusting that he’ll be producing, directing and writing (he’s already put pen to paper on it, getting help from brother, Ted) the fourth chapter in the horror-comedy series, and that the original chainsaw-adorned hero will return. “This is the project I really want to make. The remake can belong to someone else, but part 4 will be a continuation of the original”.

Raimi hopes to have “Evil Dead 4” off the ground by the end of the year.

Norty: OMFG2004 **PASSES OUT** *Ahem* I think I just joygasmmed. Twice. This is, by far, the best news I’ve heard in…..in…..in I can’t even remember when. EVIL DEAD 4 CAMPBELL! Do you know what this means?! WITH ASH!
Campbell: Yes, it means that there may still be hope yet! With Bruce back in the role! From the sounds of it, you love, respect, and worship Campbell, Nortimus!
Norty: Yes. Bruce Campbell. In a plutonic way (No more Nic Cage disasters). I jumped out of my chair when I found the news. Literally. It was pretty scary. My imaginary roommate thought I was nuts.
Campbell: Blast! Even in your crazy frenzy you saw past my trick to make you say you loved, respected and worshiped Campbell…as in ME! ME! Hail to the king baby!
Norty: Hail to the king!

Trailer of the Week: Kung-fu Hustle

The Plot: Set in Canton, China in the 1940s, the story revolves around a hapless wannabe gangster who aspires to become a member of the notorious “Axe Gang.” Other characters include an obnoxious landlady and her apparently frail husband who exhibit extraordinary powers in defending their turf.
The Link: Here
The Analysis:

Brendan “From Zero to Hero and Back to Zero” Campbell: This movie has cult classic written all over it! There’s no way that this won’t become an underground hit…it just looks so different! So out there! So original, and just fun all around! I’m looking forward to it, just for the sheer wackiness of it. Let’s just hope the trailer doesn’t build hype that the film can’t live up too. EVERYBODY WAS KUNG-FU FIGHTING!

Shaun “EVIL DEAD 4!!!” Norton: I like it. It looks good. It looks fun. It looks like it can kick ass. It’s definitely my kind of movie. Personally, after all the praise over West Side Story, I was kinda disappointed. Of course, take that and throw in comedy and kung-fu, and it’s got success written all over it. Will it be a blockbuster? Probably not, but it doesn’t have to be. I predict a major hit with this film, and I’m happy I was told about it.

Steve “Trailers are Fun! Fun! Fun!!!” Coogan: When I first saw this, I was quite angry that you’d make me watch such a ridiculous preview. It’s a good thing I gave this a shot…So, it’s part Untouchables, part Gangs of New York, part West Side Story, part Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (in the special effects anyway), part old school kung fu movie, part wacky comedy? I think that about covers it. Beyond that, I have no idea what else to say. Go see it when it comes out? (Norty Note: Coogan will see it. He will love it. And he will forget any hesitation he wrote here. Wait and see).

Reviews We Sit Through – For You!

Alone in the Dark – Brendan calls it the worst movie ever. EVER! And apparently the box office agrees with him? Do you? (I hope so). Go read how terrible this movie is.

Hide and Seek – I reviewed it. It sucked. Go read why. And, personally, I am still on the hunt for a good horror movie. Will it happen this weekend? Unlikely.

Are We There Yet? – Michaelangelo McCullar reviewed this Ice Cube family film, and honestly, that’s the kind of audience that will like it. Solid review from McCullar as always.

The Sea Inside – Ryan Closs drops in a review of an incredible film, nominated for a Golden Globe and various Oscars. It’d be a shame for me to say anything else – you should really read Ryan and his excellent review to find out what this film is all about.

Finding Neverland – Steve Coogan, aka “The Boss-man”, writes an incredibly thorough and captivating review of one of the films that is getting a lot of attention this award season. And you can bet he loved every second of it.To get a real feel for the film if you haven’t seen it, read his review. I’m not kissing up when I say it was a great job.

On DVD

Clerks. X – 10th Anniversary Edition – I am a huge Kevin Smith fan, and as such I should be shot for not yet owning this set. It’s good enough for a final rating of 10 from Travis Leamons, and it has a TON of extras. Well worth the price of admission, for fans and new-comers alike.

The Forgotten – It’s always a shame when a good case and a solid idea are totally wasted when the end product comes together. McCullar is here to tell everyone why this movie is just another suspense-dud.

Wicker Park – Brendan Campbell reviews this unique take on the romantic formula. Personally, as a self-professed hopeless romantic, he makes it sound like something I (but not everyone) would like. Check out the review to see if it’s your kind of thing.

Daredevil: The Director’s Cut – Making sure you don’t forget he exists, Campbell puts in yet another DVD review this week. I’d guess he’s trying to make up for the fact he had to sit through the worst movie ever, helping himself by seeing some good ones. And this is no exception. For people who skipped the original, you should really check this out. It adds a lot to the movie and it feels like a different experience.

We Even Do Columns!

Not too much on the Column front this week. Happens sometimes. Here’s a brief list.

Campbell reviews last weekend’s box office, which again showed the outcome of the hype machine at work (Hide and Seek). And, he has up his usual weekend preview, as De Niro gears up to battle the Boogeyman! Haha….it’s funny every time I say it. Watch the hype machine work its wonders again this weekend folks.

Brad Torreano and Mondo Culto really rule. I mean, he does such a fantastic job, and goes into such detail, especially this week, that I don’t even know how to properly pimp him. Words have a tough time describing this….amazing writer? See! *Sigh* Anyway, seriously, read this weeks Mondo Culto XII: Come Bite the Apple! He delves into the musical genre and 80’s rock. Entertaining and educational.

Tal Aulbrook makes a good point this week: The Oscar release list totally over-shadowed the Sundance Film Festival. In face, it’s such a big point, he dedicated an entire column to it. Reel Talk goes over all the winners from the festival. Good job Tal – it’s good to see you getting comfortable and settling into our little pack here. I mean that. ^_^

Michaelangelo McCullar – I thought everything was fine, but when the McCullar doesn’t turn in a review for a trailer he hand-picked, there’s trouble a-brewing. Now, I don’t fear this trash-talking, future internet celeb any more than I fear my cuddly little siberian husky, but I’m in no position to wage war with the Shark this week, all things considered. So he gets a pass – no ribs on his choice of column content, no mocking of his obsession with all things gloomy, nothing. Instead, I merely present to you another piece of his solid work – The Perfect Flick – Special Academy Award Edition – where he gives his thoughts on the ‘major’ categories and nominations. **Smile with teeth showing, thumbs up** Great job McCullar. See? I did good – I didn’t even say that Tal did it better or anything! ……oops……errm, let’s wrap things up.

The End

It’s been a busy week, school and all, and I’ve just had no time to get worked up over anything to really rant on it. So instead, I leave with this parting thought.

Until next week…..

EVIL DEAD 4! HAIL TO THE KING BABY!