Despite the fact that I think Jen Schefft is kind of a boring person (or at least that’s how she’s portrayed), I love watching The Bachelorette. I’m a voyeur in the purest sense of the word. Frankly, I enjoy the suspense of finding out who will slip Jen the tongue and who won’t. And at this point, the tongue kissers include Jerry and Fabrice. But besides their product-saturated hair styles, I think that’s about the only thing those two have in common.
Fabrice couldn’t have been more of a jerk during this episode if he had tried and, even though he made TV history by being the first bachelor to walk off the show, it would have been nice to see Jen reject him first. I knew he was bad news the first moment he walked on the show and told Jen that he hoped to show her “that the French lover thing isn’t just a cliche.” In his interviews, he seemed to do nothing but badmouth the other guys and their romantic styles. He didn’t even try to get to the Empire State Building for a chance to have dessert with Jen, which struck me as lazy, arrogant behavior. But the most unforgivable moment by far was when he got down on one knee and read Jerry’s letter in a very mocking tone to all of the guys in the house. Fabrice was clearly a mean-spirited person and it would have been fun to watch him go through the humiliation of not receiving a rose. On the other hand, he knew that he didn’t want to take things any further with Jen, so I respect his choice to leave.
As for Ben, the only guy to go through the Rose Ceremony and not receive a flower, I think Jen didn’t give him a fair chance. I’m a little puzzled as to why she kept Wendell around instead of Ben, in fact. After Jen and Ben had a chance to talk before the Rose Ceremony, she said, “Ben was more attractive to me than ever tonight.” I assume that this comment was based on his recent outpouring of feelings. However, it could have been a problem of geography as well. I wrote in a previous column that I had a hard time imagining Ben, a ski instructor in Colorado, moving to the plains of Chicago. I don’t know if Jen would be willing to relocate, but that could potentially have been a huge roadblock for them.
Speaking of roadblocks, I was intrigued by the two tasks assigned to Jen’s suitors this week. The first was composing a letter in which each man explained why he’d make a great husband. While I’m sure the exercise gave the dudes pause to think about their intentions and reasons for being on the show (cough, Fabrice), it also struck me as a bit odd. I mean, these men have only known Jen a short time, so revealing such personal reflections was, in my mind, a bit premature. Then again, as Ben pointed out, “what we don’t have is time.” And the whole gimmick about how they couldn’t sign their names or include any identifying details was pretty flimsy, since Jen guessed right on the mark whose letter was whose. Then again, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, since she used her individual dates with Ryan and Jerry as a chance to get to know them better and see if she wanted to take things further.
Things are getting down to the wire for Jen and her men. Here’s where I think they stand in the power pyramid of love:
1. Jerry
The attraction between Jerry and Jen is very intense. I could sense it when he walked through the door and met her for the first time. I was afraid he might have messed things up when he carried Jen down the stairs, but the pheromones he radiates must have be powerful enough to compensate for any shortcomings. And according to Jerry, there are many. He claimed that he was no good at writing love letters, but that didn’t really matter because Jen figured out which letter was his and went on a date with him anyway. He also said he was a terrible dancer, but again, that wasn’t a problem, since he and Jen didn’t really dance on their date, anyway. They mainly stood up, swayed, and kissed.
However, I think the real testament to Jerry’s success with Jen was when he asked her if she was doing The Bachelorette to redeem herself after her failed romance with Andrew Firestone. He was honest with her and she answered him truthfully, without freaking out. I have a feeling that Jerry was able to get away with that kind of honesty because Jen likes him so much. If Fabrice had asked her that, I don’t think it would have gone over as well. Fortunately for everyone, Fabrice is out of the picture. I noticed that Jerry looked incredibly pleased when Frenchie took off.
2. Ryan
This man has several things going for him: he’s cute, personable, and obviously enamored with Jen. As they strolled down the street on their individual date, I thought that they made an adorable couple. The snippets of their conversations that the editors chose to include in this episode were fairly inane, but, as a reality TV junkie, I know better than to take that too seriously. They seem well-suited to each other and their sweet kisses in the hot tub were exciting to watch. I didn’t see quite as much lust between Jen and Ryan, but I still think he stands a very good chance of making it to the final two.
3. John Paul
I wouldn’t have expected to root for J.P. as much as I have. Maybe it’s because he looks really sexy with his sunglasses on his head. Or he has an unshakable air of confidence. Or his Oklahoma drawl is endearing. I have a feeling that John Paul isn’t going to make it past third place, but one never knows. I hope he does.
4. Wendell
I was happy for Wendell for winning the race to the Empire State Building, since he didn’t have a chance yet for a one-on-one. But honestly, Wendell’s not cute enough to make it any farther. I feel kind of shallow making that assessment, but I think it’s true. And if I interpreted the previews for next week’s episode correctly, I don’t think Wendell’s family makes a very good impression on Jen. Sorry, dude.
P.S. I was stunned this week to hear that Meredith Phillips, the previous bachelorette, and her fiance Ian McKee broke up. Especially after witnessing his incredibly romantic proposal to her of, “Will you?” I mean, this show creates the perfect atmosphere for the cultivation of a solid, lasting relationship. How could this possibly have happened? I think that my faith in humanity and all of my concepts of good and evil and God and hell are totally screwed because of this. Thanks a lot, guys.
