Remote Destination


Before I begin I want to note the passing of Ossie Davis (IP Movies shows their respect.)

While he was known mostly for his film work, he also performed on stage and appeared frequently on television throughout the last five decades.

He was as powerful an activist as he was an actor, and he always cared himself with dignity. There are few people that I actually revere but Mr. Davis was one of them. The world is a bit dimmer with him gone. Hopefully he’s sharing a conversation with El Hajj El Malik El Shabazz

(I also want to apologize to my best friend, Jason Torres, for ruining one of the most shocking moments of The Wire’s third season. He just finished watching the first season, and finished catching up on my columns. Thus he caught my lament on the death of Character X. My Bad.)

So I watched the Super Bowl. It was cool, but this year’s Halftime Show was disappointing. I doubt that I was the only person who wanted hoping for a flash of saggy man-breast.

The commercials were cool. Nothing really spectacular. Plus Philly lost. Boo.

What I Viewed This Week

American Dad – Oh my god, this show was crap. I can remember watching the first episode of Family Guy and laughing. I barely smiled while watching American Dad.

It seems to me that this is what happens when creators are devoid of ideas. It’s Macfarlane was just pitching something that he thought FOX would never buy. But FOX decided to call his bluff, and Macfarlane didn’t back down.

Thus we’ve got a show that FOX will keep on the air for fear of another Family Guy type “egg on the face” incident. Furthermore people who jumped on the Family Guy bandwagon will pretend to enjoy American Dad for fear of missing out on the “next big thing.” I’m sorry, I’m just venting.

But if you watch this show, the terrorists have won.

The Simpsons – When has this show really fallen flat? This week’s episode was as good as ever. This show should be referred to as “Ol’ Faithful.”

Carnivale – Whoa. This shows “creepy” factor is what keeps me coming back. Brother Justin looking through Ben’s eyes was crazy. I’m actually beginning to enjoy this show again.

Unscripted – Ugh. Seriously I’ve got to find a better way to spend my time.

24 – Dude, I was so pumped when Tony popped up last week. This week Tony impressed me further, by actually stepping up to the plate.

Scrubs – Funny episode, on par with the series. Funny premise. It even dipped its toe in the pool of “race as a part of interracial relationships.” I’m praying that they delve deeper into this topic.

Smallville – I’ve got to admit, I was on the phone for this episode. I watched it, but heard very little. It seemed like typical fare.

Tilt – Good episode. I’m really trying to figure out why Clark’s former business partners are trying to play him like a punk, and why he went along with it for a minute. I’m even more curious how this show is going to have a second season. It just doesn’t seem structured to have continuation.

Oz (edited for Joe Reid Somebody) – I had heard such bad things about the “musical” episode (many claim that’s when Oz “jumped the shark”, but it wasn’t that bad. And it made sense character-wise, since _______ was incapacitated. It was kind of tough to see ________ sell out _______ to ________. That was harsh. And ________ got kicked out of ___ ________ just because he had a __________. By far the best scene was when ______ _____ held the interaction about _______ between ________, ________, and ________ and no one explained what happened. That was amazing. It was nice to see _______ make an attempt at atoning for what he did to ________. But seeing ___ ______ playing a prisoner in Oz made me think that perhaps the show has “jumped.”

Greatest Show Ever”¦this week – Ed

So I woke up early (12pm) on Tuesday. I stumbled into the living room, turned on the TV and was pleasantly surprised; Ed was on TBS.

Now I love Ed. This show is one of the most entertaining shows ever. It completely appeals to my sensibilities. How can you not love a show about a cuckolded lawyer who returns to his hometown, buys a bowling alley (where he sets up his law practice) and tries to court a girl from his high school years?

It’s funny and pure. It makes me laugh. And it’s given me a reason to wake up by noon. Clearly this is the Greatest Show Ever.

The Joy of X

The past few weeks I’ve been watching The X-Files late night on TNT. I’d really forgotten how decent that show really was. Sure some episodes are a bit “out there” but when that show hits it really hits.

Even with the departure of Mulder the show didn’t falter too much, and when it did falter it was on episodes dealing with “mythology.” And that makes sense. The “mythology” episodes were some of the strongest ones when Mulder was on the show, so without him they feel a bit forced.

I like the play between Doggett and Reyes. And I appreciated how The Lone Gunmen got a semi-proper send off after their show got the axe.

The X-Files makes great background entertainment for those late night writing sessions.

Unwanted Kids & Least Wanted Parents

Last week I posed the following scenario;

Good news; your alive this week. Bad news; you’re up for adoption. Maybe your parent’s don’t love you. Maybe your single mother couldn’t afford to keep you. Maybe your parents were killed in an alley just after you finished watching “The Mark of Zorro.” The point is you’re up for adoption. The great news is that a couple of folks want to adopt you.

Would you rather live with Phillip Drummond from Diff’rent Strokes or The Papadapolis’ from Webster?

Thankfully I got some responses this week.

Loyal reader Kevin had this to say;

I’d have to say Phillip Drummond on this one. Imagine having to fill out every standardized test’s bubble sheet with Papadapolis or hear the nicknames kids would come up with based on it. Plus, the Drummonds had Kimberly so you know she would have some good looking friends over all the time….not to mention the housekeeper, chauffeur and penthouse apartment. Just stay away from Gordon Jump and Danny Cooksey and you’ll have it made.

Joe Reid on the other hand countered;

Now, I know Aaron’s going to chime in with a similar answer, but . . .

If the best Mr. Drummond can do is get you almost molested by the Maytag repairman, then sign me up for those lovable Greeks! I mean, sure, Mrs. Papadopolous looks a bit like the Bride of Frankenstein with a haircut, but I’m sure the Dad would raise me to be a helluva football player. Unless, of course, I’m a perpetually undersized wee man.

But Aaron sidestepped predictability and came with the killer juke;

Easy. Gots to go with Mr. Drummond. Why? Guest stars.

Living with Mr. Drummond in the Park Ave. Penthouse, Arnold and Willis got to meet Mr. T, Nancy Reagan, Reggie Jackson and, my favorite…K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider.
Who did Webster ever meet? Ben Vereen and The Jets. No, not Joe Klecko and Mark Gastineau…the ’80s pop band, The Jets.

Plus, there was the food factor. You *know* Mrs. Garrett was holdin’ it down in the kitchen for Arnold n’ Willis. Does anyone really think that “ma’am” (or whatever the mom with the mullet was called on Webster) could cook? Please.

Finally, if you live with Phillip Drummond, you’ll get your initials on toy chest in your room. What more could you ask for?

Colin concurred, but for different reasons;

I don’t remember Webster too much, so I’m going with Mr. Drummond. Who wants to live with the ripoff show’s family?

Equally loyal reader Scott Granell had a different opinion;

The Popdopolis, namely because there is no annoying real sibling (ala Dana Plato).

And finally InsidePulse’s own Michaelangelo touched upon a reoccurring theme;

Sorry, but I gotta go with Alex Karras and his family. Why? Because Mr. Drummond was so lax as a parent that Arnold almost got molested, Willis became a basehead, and Kimberly fought bulimia and eventually killed herself. What kind of household was Drummond running anyway?

I want to thank all of you for responding. As for my answer;

While I’ve been to both cities, I prefer NYC (specifically Manhattan) over Chicago, giving Diff’rent Stroke the edge. Further pushing me toward Mr. Drummond is the chance at hooking up with Janet Jackson. But what really puts me over the edge is getting a shot at glimpsing the ever-elusive Gooch!

Of course this leads us to everyone’s column segment”¦

Good News/Bad News/Question of the Week!

Good news; after years of trolling away at your college radio station, you are about to graduate! Bad news; the job market is tough, especially for radio personalities who don’t graduate at the head of their class. Maybe you slacked off too much during the spring when females are wearing less clothing. Maybe you majored in “Bridge-ology.” Or maybe you just aren’t that bright. But you did manage to get three job offers.

Are you going to accept the position at WZUP (Martin), WKRP (WKRP in Cincinatti) or WNYX (Newsradio)?

Send me an email with which station you’re choosing and why.


Mike blasts slam poetry and American Dad.

Steve talks Carnivale. Well, actually he just references it.

Laura makes her grand debut!


Joe pays tribute to Ossie Davis, gives us an update on Puffy’s Diddy’s movie career, and voices his disgust for the new Batmobile.

Aaron admits to not watching Arrested Development and Nick exposes the truth about Bring Em Out (great call). Aaron also talks about “retirement” while Nick mentions faux retirement. Coincidence? You better hope not.

Oh yeah; Happy Birthday Jalen!

Greatest Video Ever”¦this week

Kurtis Blow – Basketball

Ah “old school” rap videos, they just don’t get better than this. The rhymes are simple, yet bold. Blow is a very, um, expressive performer, and he really exhibits it well in this video. The actual ball playing is comedic. But at the end of the day you’ve got to ask yourself; why are there people doing capoeira on the ball court?