Recapped: Desperate Housewives – Episode 14


Well, the time has come to recap the show that has apparently beaten the Grammys quite handily in the ratings. Not that I can really blame them, since the Grammys are so far gone that it’s not even up for discussion anymore about who’s going to win a Grammy. MTV’s Video Music Awards generate more buzz per year, and that’s a fact, Jack.

That being said, I was truly shocked that DH was able to knock off the Grammys in the ratings. A solid viewership will do that, but I just don’t see how the millions can stick around. Honestly, this show is not nearly as good as Lost is (even if Lost seems to be writing itself into a corner). However, I will keep my mind open to this episode.

There’s nothing in the mailbag, so on with the recap!

Previously, on Desperate Housewives: Someone hurt Mike’s old squeeze so the boss wants the persons responsible dead, Gabrielle is running out of money and is forced to find other means of income thanks to Carlos’ shenanigans, Bree wants to know what’s eating at Rex but the shrink won’t budge so Bree has to illegaly steal Rex’s tape…only to find one of Mary Alice, where we find out that Angela is her real name (I don’t remember that. Man, was that a long time ago or did that just plain not happen?). Zach is upset that his father Paul seems to have forgotten about the very dead Mary Alice, and Susan gets into the mix when she hears what Zach said about Dana and Paul spills the beans about Zach killing Dana. Womp womp. Sometimes, the answers to life’s biggest questions are buried under even bigger lies.

Fade to white as we enter the Scavo house, where Dead Woman Narrating explains that most mothers will boast that their children are gifts from God, but they will also admit that the gifts these children give them are less than heavenly. Lynette, for example, has had to suffer through artwork made in kindergarten, spice racks made at summer camp, and jewelry made at scout jamboree. It’s the thought that counts, right? Anyway, one gift has surpassed all in terms of quality, as they give her a flower pot that they made themselves. Finally, Lynette has a gift from her sons that she doesn’t have to be ashamed of. So she puts it on the front porch, but the very next day, here comes Mrs. McCluskey. Turns out the boys stole it off her porch, and she can prove it because it still has the price tag on it from when she got it on her latest cruise to Costa Rica. Lynette is very disappointed as she looks back at her boys, who quickly scamper back inside the house. Yes, the children may be a gift from God, but sometimes mothers wish that they could return them. Har de har har.

You’re watching Desperate Housewives, and I hate how the opening is so weak. Closed captioning is sponsored by Ford, in case you didn’t know. I certainly didn’t.

Dead Woman Narrating continues by introducing the setting of the day before Valentine’s Day as every man on Wisteria Lane prepares for the most dangerous of holidays. Some purchased romantic cards, like Carlos; some purchased candy and flowers, like Rex; and some made dinner reservations at fancy restaurants, like Mike. Some, however, managed to forget about the day entirely…again. Some, in this case, is Tom Scavo, who looks at the calendar and rushes out in a frenzy. This is lost on the women of Wisteria Lane, however, as they were busy learning a new secret about their neighbors, one that was positively horrifying. And here are the Housewives, as we pick up where we left off last week with Gabrielle reacting in shock to Zach being the one who killed Dana. Bree dismisses it as an accident, but it doesn’t change that Zach is definitely disturbed, so Susan has forbidden Zach and Julie from being together forevermore. Lynette realizes that this is the secret that Mary Alice was trying to protect all along, and Bree can’t believe the guilt that she must have felt knowing that secret. Gabrielle kinda feels sorry for Paul, but Susan still feels uneasy about Paul. Susan points out that there aren’t any photos of another kid in the Young household. Why keep the baby blanket and throw the photos out? And why did Mary Alice refer to herself as Angela in the therapy session? What Bree knows for a fact is that Mary Alice loved Zach very much, and when you love a child that much, you are capable of doing a very many things.

Now we move on to the Young house, as Martha’s sister brings over a very lavish bouquet of flowers that was delivered to her house by mistake. Turns out they were for Mary Alice, but Paul forgot to cancel the order when she died a few months ago. Martha’s sister is sorry for his loss, and Paul reciprocates it towards her. Martha’s sister sees a photo of Mary Alice and Zach on the fridge, but recognizes Mary Alice as Angela Forrest. You see, it just so happens that they worked together in Utah. The plot thickens. Paul gets all creepy and says that she’s never been to Utah and that her real name is Mary Alice. It’s been years, so Martha’s sister could be wrong. But…well…she isn’t.

Onto the Solis house, as Gabrielle is talking with her agent on the phone, explaining that she wasn’t being a diva, she left the boat show because the coordinator was making passes at her. Gabrielle wants another job, and quick! While talking on the phone, Gabrielle makes it clear to Yao Lin that she missed a spot on the floor. The maid gives Gabrielle a rather saucy look and then keeps scrubbing the floor as Gabrielle hangs up the phone. Yao Lin says something in Chinese that Gabrielle and any other non-Chinese speaking person would understand, so Gabrielle asks her if she got that spot, the one that she told Yao Lin to clean, but Yao Lin says that she’ll get to it. Gabrielle waits a few beats and then gets a wise idea, turning back around and ordering her to clean that spot. Yao Lin wants Gabrielle to say please first, so Gabrielle does so, but reveals her reasoning for saying please was to get Yao Lin back on her knees scrubbing where she belongs. Yao Lin takes major offense to this, saying that Gabrielle is not better than her. The only reason Gabrielle has gotten anything in life is because she’s pretty, and when she gets older, she’ll have nothing. Gabrielle scoffs at this: “You are so fired.” Yao Lin doesn’t seem to care that much, and just walks away.

Over to Mike and Susan, as Susan gives Mike a card that was meticulously hand-painted by someone with loads of talent. Whattaego. Mike tells Susan that they’ve gotten reservations at the La Petite Fleur. Susan is excited about that, but is interrupted by Lynette going crazy looking for her sons. Susan feels pity for her since if she doesn’t find a new nanny soon, she’ll implode. But Mike silences Susan and walks around to the other side of the house, finding the three boys. They’re hiding from Lynette since she wants to spank them. Mike advises them to go home now, since if they stay away, they’ll just get worse spankings when she gets even more upset. At least they’ll have the rest of the day to play if they get spankings now. So the boys agree to it and go back home with Mike, as Susan is impressed by that job. Mike loves kids, though, and can’t wait to have some of his own–this makes Susan trip over her own feet in shock. I can’t wait for Susan to make an even bigger ass out of herself at La Petite Fleur.

Back inside the Scavo house, as Lynette lays down a variety of weapons as the boys try to get their way out of it by promising to be good. But Lynette says that it’s too late, and that they have to be punished since they stole, lied, and made Lynette look bad in front of Mrs. McCluskey, Lynette’s sworn enemy. So it’s time for the boys to pick which weapon they’d like to be spanked with. Lynette goes through some of the options, including the classic belt, the hickory stick, and the spatula, each of them frightening the boys a little bit more. Lynette gives them an option out of it, however. For a first-time offense, the boys can swear and cross their heart that they will never steal again, and they will write Mrs. McCluskey a letter of apology, or they will get spanked six ways to Sunday. So they agree to Plan B, as Lynette draws out three notebooks for them to start writing. One of the sons asks his mom why she’s smiling, and Lynette wonders if they know what psychological warfare means. Well, they certainly should know by now.

In Dr. Goldfine’s office, Bree confides in him that Rex and Bree are holding a dinner party for 10 next week, using their best china and serving duck. Dr. Goldfine assumes that this means Rex and Bree are a couple once again, and indeed, that is the case. That is what Bree missed the most, the lack of dinner parties. Dr. Goldfine also assumes that Bree has resolved her feelings regarding Rex’s infidelity. But Bree has simply put those thoughts in an imaginary box and might not look at them for a few years. Dr. Goldfine doesn’t believe that that is the best way to resolve the situation, but Bree is sure after a few decades of forced smiling and fake orgasms (my words, not hers), that she’ll find a way to forgive him. As long as she has a plan, Dr. Goldfine seems satisfied. Bree gets serious and says that she wants to forgive Rex, but there’s something that Rex isn’t telling him. And Bree thinks that it has something to do with the affair. Rex has been confronted about it once, but the look in his eyes was a look of terror that she’d manage to find out what his secret was. Bree then realizes that Dr. Goldfine knows the secret that Rex is hiding, but Dr. Goldfine can’t discuss other patients. Bree just wants to know if it is bad, and Goldfine’s reaction says it all, as Bree thinks that she might not want to know what it is after all. Dr. Goldfine can’t see how Rex and Bree can’t get back together if they can’t be honest about the innermost part of their lives. But the Van De Kamps are W.A.S.P.s, so not acknowledging the “elephant in the room” is what they do best. Dr. Goldfine wonders if Bree would be able to deal with a life filled with repression and denial…but Bree seems fine with it, because the dinner parties are included in that life. “Don’t forget about the dinner parties.” Ridiculous.

And now, a word from our sponsors… Rex’s secret seems kinda juicy, but I wonder if it’s the fact that Rex likes to be used as a welcome mat by his women, as we’ve already seen him do with Maisy Gibbons. I don’t really care about Gabrielle right now, and Mike/Susan is just on the fast track for Susan to make an ass out of herself. I don’t know what to think about Lynette, of course. She’s so quirky.

We return to Some Random Mattress Place, as the important thing is that Gabrielle is there with some scummy guy who refers to himself as the Siesta King. Gabrielle is ready for the photoshoot, but her agent should’ve told her that there is no shoot. In fact, what Gabrielle is going to do is advertise the fact that there are plenty of things you can do on a Siesta King mattress besides sleeping. Huh huh. I think he means copulation. Anyway, we get a montage of moments where Gabrielle is just forced to lay on beds as others try it out for themselves.

Back to the Scavo house, as Dead Woman Narrating explains that the common belief is better fences make better neighbors. But in the case of Lynette, she might want to add a little barbed wire to her fence when it comes to Mrs. McCluskey, who comes charging right into Lynette’s house. Mrs. McCluskey storms up to the boys’ room, looking around the beds for some kind of evidence. Turns out that Mrs. McCluskey no longer has a purple wall clock made for her by her son, and she wants it back, assuming that the boys took it. Lynette believes that it is possible she misplaced it, since she is getting up there in years. No offense, she probably forgets where she puts things. “No offense, but you should be sterilized.” Lynette says that they may have stolen her flowerpot, but they apologized for that. Mrs. McCluskey dismisses the apology notes as the cowards’ way out, and that the boys should’ve apologized to her face. Lynette gets tired of her rooting around her boys’ room and wants her gone, but Mrs. McCluskey gets in a few parting shots about how her family is a disgrace for leaving toys all over the yard and such. She thinks Lynette would be better off replaced by a pack of wolves raising the boys, because God knows they would’ve been cleaner. Mrs. McCluskey finally leaves as Lynette throws a pillow in frustration.

And now we move on to the Van De Kamp House, as Bree informs Rex that Valentine’s Day is tomorrow. Rex knows, and has already bought Bree the usual roses and English toffee. Bree also supposes that they’ll make love tomorrow night as well? “That is our little tradition.” Bree is looking forward to it, but a lack of response from Rex makes Bree wonder if Rex is looking forward to it as well. That gets Rex’s attention, as Bree explains that she knows Rex isn’t pleased sexually by her, so she was wondering if Rex was actually going to enjoy the lovemaking at all. Rex can’t believe that they’re going this route again, but Bree can’t get over the fact that Rex had an affair with another woman to get something that Bree couldn’t give her, and yet Rex doesn’t have the decency to tell Bree what it is that he wants. Rex can’t, however, but Bree wants to prove how much she loves him, so Rex spills it: “I like to be dominated. Sexually.” Bree is just plain confused, so Rex decides to grab one of his trusty tapes and pop it in the VCR. After watching it for awhile, Bree has to ask what the hell Rex’s mother did to him. Now Rex is confused, but Bree is trying to make the connection that Rex has some kind of unresolved childhood trauma. Rex explains that it’s a preference, not trauma. Rex points out that Bree promised to be supportive, but Bree takes that as meaning she should say “My husband likes to wear metal clamps around his nipples, hooray?” Rex wants to hear Bree say that she’ll try it, just once. Bree asks if Rex really wants her to hurt him for his pleasure, and yes, that is what Rex wants. So Bree hauls off and slaps him and then asks him if it was good for him, too, and then walks off. That was a silly, silly segment.

At the Mayer house, Susan is arriving in Julie’s room to drop off some clothes, and the therapy session with Dr. Julie begins as Susan reveals that Mike wants babies. He’s gotten that look in his eyes that says that he is ready to procreate and needs to be pointed to the nearest cervix. Susan doesn’t want to have another baby, although she’s grateful for Julie, she found the whole childbirth thing to be completely exhausting. Susan hasn’t told Mike how she feels, since it could be a deal-breaker. Susan loves Mike so much that she doesn’t want to lose him. Julie suggests that her mother could be overreacting: Maybe Mike would rather have Susan over a baby. And if he doesn’t? Well, that’s something that Susan should probably figure out. The Dead Woman Narrating explains that Susan has nothing to worry about, however, as Mike is busy looking for answers in all the wrong places…

…that segues us into Some Random House, as Mike sneaks around to the back and picks the lock to get inside. Once inside, Mike sorts through some papers and some books, going through various rooms until he finally opens one door to find an old man, shaking with a gun in his hands. Mike tries to convince the man to put the gun down but the old fogey has an itchy trigger finger and blows a hole in Mike’s side, sending Mike on the run as a second shot misses its mark. Mike goes out to his truck, taking a look at his gory wound before driving off in broad daylight. Probably shouldn’t have tried to break into this house unless it was absolutely important that he does so.

And now, a word from our sponsors… well, that stuff with Mike was kinda weird. Rex/Bree seems to have an interesting payoff on the way, as I can’t wait to see Bree dressed up in a dominatrix outfit. That ish will be hot, yo. I don’t know what to think about Lynette and Mrs. McCluskey, but it can’t be too terrible. Not a bad episode so far.

Returning to Some Random Dude’s Place, as the random dude explains that Mike got lucky since the gunshot didn’t hit anything major. The man tells Mike that Noah is getting impatient, but Mike reveals that he is getting closer, so the man can tell Noah that. The man can’t believe that a girl from such a good family like Dierdre can get so messed up…but Mike changes the subject to someone who recognized the photo. Dierdre might have rented a room on Pine Avenue. Mike was checking out the houses when…well, Mike doesn’t get a chance to finish, since the phone rings and the answering machine picks up. It’s Susan, who needs to talk to Mike about something important, and the lights are on at the house, so she knows that he’s home. Susan finally decides that she’s just going to come over, so Mike picks up the phone at the last second and greets Susan with a groan. But Mike covers and says that he simply stubbed his toe, so Susan asks if she can come over to talk about something important. Mike has a “buddy” over, however, so he asks if it can wait until dinner tomorrow. Susan reluctantly agrees to this, and Mike is happy for that as he hangs up the phone. The buddy suggests that Mike take it easy for a few days, but Mike doesn’t want to cancel, since that would just make her suspicious.

Back with Lynette and Tom, arriving home from a day of grocery shopping as Mrs. McCluskey yells from her car that maybe it’s her dementia, but she still can’t find her clock. Lynette says that no one in the family knows or cares about her stupid wall clock, so Mrs. McCluskey has one more message to tell her little criminals to get the bikes out of the street. Tom goes to get it himself but Lynette stops him and tells Mrs. McCluskey to say please. So Mrs. McCluskey whips around in her car and runs over the bike before saying “Please.” Tom tries to calm Lynette down, but she’s a mom on a mission as she removes an egg from the package and throws it at Mrs. McCluskey’s car as she’s driving away. Sure, Mrs. McCluskey had started the war, but Lynette was going to fire the first shot. Mrs. McCluskey tells Lynette she’s going to clean that up, but Lynette just fires another egg right at Mrs. McCluskey’s face. The war was going to be hard. For everyone involved. Tom closing his eyes in exhaustion of what is about to come cuts…

…into Gabrielle’s closed eyes, as a man opens her eyes by finally saying “Pardon me” enough times. It turns out to be a couple at the mattress place who would like to know what the coil count is on the bed. Gabrielle simply points to a sign next to her that says “Please Do Not Talk To Model!” The man apologizes and walks away…as the Siesta King arrives and grabs the cardboard sign, asking Gabrielle what the meaning of it is. She explains that people keep coming to her and asking her questions, which is not her job. The Siesta King doesn’t think that she has to be rude about it, is all, but Gabrielle just doesn’t want to be a mattress salesperson. The Siesta King naturally takes offense to this, wondering if it is beneath her or something, and Gabrielle honestly says that it is. The Siesta King was warned about this by her agent, that she would be a diva, and he was right. She won’t talk to the customers, she bitches about the coffee, and she didn’t pitch in on Hazel’s birthday cake. She only met the woman today, but that didn’t stop Gabrielle from having a piece. The Siesta King doesn’t want a non team player around, and Gabrielle tries to backpedal, but it’s too late. She’s been fired.

In the Scavo house, Lynette is discussing things with her insurance company regarding the egg incident, but Tom interrupts her by trying to get her to come outside. Lynette finally does, and Tom reveals that he’s found something inside the boy’s playhouse. It turns out to be a haven of stolen things, including the purple wall clock of Mrs. McCluskey’s. Tom and Lynette are both shocked, as Lynette advises Tom to pack his bags, since they’re all going to be moving. Oh boy.

Moving onto Martha’s sister’s house, as she grabs a family photo album and looks through it, finding a picture of a her working at a Utah rehab center…with Mary Alice…or Angela, if you prefer.

And now, a word from our sponsors… Well, we already knew that Paul was wrong, so there was no reason to confirm it except for Martha’s sister’s sake. Lynette/Tom has gotten a lot more interesting since I don’t know how they’re going to get out of this jam. Gabrielle has become the brand new Susan, as she manages to not only make an ass out of herself, but also gets herself fired at almost every job she goes to. Mike being creepy is always great, but adding Susan to the mix is just silly gooses. I expect Mike to get arrested at the fancy restaurant when they find the evidence in Mike’s garage.

Coming back to Some Random Makeup Place, as Gabrielle wants to get a makeover to cure her sadness over losing her most recent job. However, when she finds a moisturizer that she can’t afford, she decides that maybe it’s her pride that needs a makeover…as she sees a help wanted sign. But the cut is almost immediate as a women asks for her receipt. Gabrielle hands it over, and she’s already working there. Jesus, how much time passed there? Anyway, there’s Yao Lin, as Yao Lin wants some lipstick…now. Gabrielle thinks that Yao Lin must be loving having Gabrielle be Yao Lin’s servant for once, but Gabrielle points out that the difference between her and Yao Lin are their dreams. Gabrielle dreamed of everything she got in life, so she knows that she can do it again. But for Yao Lin, getting makeup on her face from the woman she used to work for is as good as it’s going to get. Gabrielle is so vain. She probably thinks this episode is about her.

And now, for the main event, as we go to La Petite Fleur, and the joke is practically set up for us as a waiter places a wedge under the table to keep it from rocking. The waitress guides Mike and Susan to their table, and Susan says that the dress is riding up so much on her that if she walks any faster it’ll be Happy Valentine’s Day for everyone, especially for Mike. So as Susan sits down, the waiter gets a nice view of her hoo-chah *whistles* and is almost in shock over what he sees, and Susan realizes there is a man up there as she gets up wildly, tripping another waiter as he falls to the ground and a rather portly lady trips over the waiter and falls into Mike’s waiting arms as he makes a glove save. Susan can’t believe what happened, but everyone seems to be okay. Except for Mike, who has just aggravated his gunshot wound. We move forward in the date slightly, as Mike looks to be in obvious discomfort from his wound bleeding like crazy through his white shirt. Susan says that she won’t be good company unless she gets something off her chest, as Susan reminds Mike of the other day, when he said he wanted to have kids. Susan decides to drop the bomb and say that she doesn’t want to have another child, and they need to have a serious conversation about this. Mike is okay with that, so Susan decides to take a drink before getting started in her conversation…

…and we move to Lynette and Tom, as Lynette is arguing with Tom about why she has to apologize to Mrs. McCluskey, even if they return everything that the boys stole. Tom points out that if something should happen to them, they don’t want to be unhelped by Mrs. McCluskey because of some silly feud. Lynette supposes she has to live by the rule of “Love thy neighbor,” even if that motto wouldn’t exist anywhere near Mrs. McCluskey. Tom changes the subject to Lynette “loving thy husband”, and the camera slowly pans over to a candle on the table, before fully panning back…

…to La Petite Fleur, as Susan understands why Mike would want to have kids, but that chapter of her life is simply closed and done with. Susan then realizes that Mike isn’t taking it very well, but Susan doesn’t know that Mike is dripping blood onto the floor of the dining room. Mike tries to excuse himself, and Susan takes this as Mike not even trying to convince her into having his baby, since there’s a possibility she would’ve caved in…but then Mike collapses on the floor and the suitcoat is pulled back to reveal his bleeding wound as the entire restaurant gasps in horror.

And now, a word from our sponsors… Okay, so it’s been resolved with Lynette having to not take the coward’s way out and having to apologize to Mrs. McCluskey’s face? Boo. That stuff with Gabrielle was kinda silly time-wise, as well. This episode is kinda middling, but at least Mike is keeping it interesting.

Returning to the Van De Kamp house, as Rex slinks into bed. Bree tells Rex good night as Rex turns over to go to sleep, but Bree asks how the domination thing works. So Rex grabs a box from the closet and explains that there’s nothing to it, they’ll simply be having little scenarios and acting them out. Bree wonders if that makes it like a play. “Sort of.” If things do get too rough, there will be a control word that one will say to make the other one back off. Rex has been using Philadelphia lately as a control word, but Bree thinks that that’s no good since her Aunt Fern lives in Philadelphia, and she doesn’t want to be thinking about her aunt while she’s spanking Rex with a leather strap. Rex allows Bree to come up with a control word, and Bree thinks of Boise. Rex thinks that a funny word about Boise would ruin the mood, however, so they need something that sounds serious. How about Palestine? “Boise will be just fine.” Ahahahaha. Bree suggests that they get started, and asks Rex what she wants him to do. “Handcuff me to the bed.” Bree seems less than satisfied with that response, but Rex assures her that she is not going to be unsatisfied about this. It’ll give their marriage more passion. All Rex has to do is trust Bree. But Bree wants to run those handcuffs through the dishwasher once first. Rex allows him to do so instead of flipping out like usual.

To Some Random Hospital, perhaps where Mama Solis is still in a coma, as Susan is crying into a tissue as the nurse explains that she can see him as soon as the doctor is finished looking at him. The doctor and the nurse leave the room at the same time, talking about his story and how there’s no way the gunshot wound was self-inflicted and he forgot who stitched him up. The doctor says that the police are on their way, so they’ll finish talking with him and find out what he knows. Susan finds that suspicious, as she walks into Mike’s room. Mike apologizes for ruining dinner, but Susan is glad he’s okay. Susan doesn’t waste time, however, asking if Mike shot himself. “Pretty lame, huh?” Yeah, all the cool kids are shooting each other. Mike was cleaning his automatic and it just went off. That’s a lie. But Mike didn’t want to ruin her Valentine’s Day. Mike did hear what she said about not wanting kids. Susan doesn’t want to talk about that now, but Mike just wants to be with Susan above everything else, and if that means not being a dad…he may be stupid enough to shoot himself, but he’s not stupid enough to walk away from Susan. Mike asks if Susan is aware of that, and she is. Susan excuses herself outside to let him rest for awhile, and Mike thanks her as she leaves for understanding him. Susan gives Mike a smile and leaves as the police arrive and they’d like to ask him a few questions.

And now, a word from our sponsors… Home stretch time, and I don’t have much more to say.

We go to the McCluskey house, as Lynette explains that they have something they want to say to Mrs. McCluskey. The boys hand over the clock and Mrs. McCluskey invites them in so they can apologize. Mrs. McCluskey asks if Lynette has anything to say, but she doesn’t, so Mrs. McCluskey is fine with that too. Inside, Carolyn invites them to have some peanut brittle, and all three take some. Carolyn asks them to get along with the apology, so they all answer in-synch with “We’re sorry.” Carolyn wonders if that’s it, and it is. They’re only six and five, but did they know that stealing is wrong? The boys eventually change the subject to a picture of a boy on the mantle. That’s Carolyn son, and it happens that he died when he was 12 because he got six. Turns out he was a little terror like the three of them, and that they would’ve liked him. Carolyn is ready for the boys to leave, but she tells them one more thing, even though stealing is bad, it was nice of them to get a present for their mother on Valentine’s Day. No one’s going to love them like their mother. Carolyn steps out with the boys, telling them to get the hell out of her house, as Dead Woman Narrating explains that in Lynette’s heart, she knew that she would never love her neighbor, not knowing that love was the one thing they had in common. Carolyn looks sad over the loss of her son…

…but we move over to the Mayer house as Lynette walks over and explains about the children, and then shows something to Susan. The kids found it in Mike’s workbench, Susan’s Mike. Oh no. What a creative way to pull this one off. Anyway, Susan opens the wrapping around the item, and finds a watch. Lynette invites Susan to read the engraving: MARTHA HUBER. Susan wonders if it’s blood on her watch, and asks Lynette what it means, but Lynette knows the answer to neither question…as Dead Woman Narrating launches into her final spiel.

It’s impossible to grasp just how powerful love is…It can sustain us through trying times…

As Carlos gives Gabrielle a big bear hug after a long day’s work…

Or motivate us to make extraordinary sacrifices…

As Bree grabs the handcuffs from the dishwasher.

It can force decent men to commit the darkest deeds…

As Paul grabs his newspaper from the doorstep of the Young house…

Or compel ordinary women to search for hidden truths…

As Martha’s sister grabs the newspaper…

And long after we’re gone, love remains, burned into our memories…

As Mrs. McCluskey clutches the picture of her long gone son…

We all search for love, but some of us, after we’ve found it…wish we hadn’t.

As Susan looks at her Valentine’s Day card from Mike and then looks over, with a hard look of worry on her face. Womptown, USA.


The preview for next week looks less than interesting, but they managed to make something from nothing here, so they might as well do it again. I don’t have much to talk about, since most of the secrets have already been revealed, and now we just get to see how everything pans out.