Well, woke up a little early on Wednesday morning (after crashing from exhaustion on Tuesday), so let me see if I can turn in a One-Hour Special so that I can actually say I got a Wednesday column in this week. Not the most sparkling sentence to kick this off, but the coffee is still brewing (or if you believe that Japanese study, I’m in the process of protecting myself against liver cancer). Personally, I think my current exhaustion is due to the weather. It really can’t decide on anything. Freezing in the morning, hot in the afternoon, windy when it feels like it. Okay, Chicago’s like that too, but not until f*cking April. I’m not used to this shit in mid-February. I have GOT to get out of this place, ASAP.
Now on to the fun stuff…
THE PIMP SECTION
If you don’t watch Impact, Osterlund has all the results for you.
Maillaro has all the Marvel news for you, while Stevens concentrates on DC.
Nguyen covers the official end of the hockey season, like people missed it, and insults Chicago yet again.
Price previews the “sport” that consists solely of left turns.
Berg owns up to a boo-boo. You’ll never see that here, because I don’t make mistakes. Well, not very often.
THE ANTI-SPYWARE SECTION
Remember, this all started because the slugs at Enigma Software dared to advertise their piece of shit SpyHunter at 411 (one of the reasons why I decided to leave, honestly). So I’m responding every single column with proper anti-spyware information. And guess what? People are actually taking this to heart. They’re asking me for help if they’re infested, or they’re writing me telling me that their browsing experience is less annoying thanks to the stuff I’ve been putting up here three times a week for a few months now.
(And as I understand it, there are some unscrupulous browser toolbar people trying to advertise here at the Pulse. Well, don’t click on that ad, whatever you do. We’ll still get the money from the impressions, and your system will stay safe.)
Big, big Kudos to the guys at the Spyware Warrior Forum for pointing out to everyone the extent of criminal activity participated in by Enigma Software, makers of the bane of advertising on that site, SpyHunter. Slimeballs extraordinare, aren’t they? And in case you need more info about what flaming bags of shit they are, try here. Suzi’s Blog has a great list of other flaming bags of shit that promote anti-spyware programs that are spyware themselves. Consult it if you have questions.
(On a side note, those SpyHunter ads started over at Reality News Online, and BFM, a contributor there, spotted them. He told the webmaster, gave him those links that I cited above, the webmaster read them, the blood drained out of his face, and he contacted his ad provider. No more ads for Enigma products on RNO, thank you. So guess what? If you provide the info, there are sites who will listen.)
Here’s a list of the programs you really need to help you get rid of menaces, and, more importantly, prevent them from occurring in the first place:
Spybot and AdAware. The ONLY two spyware removal tools to trust. Do NOT buy any spyware removal tools, because none of them work better than these two, and all of them except these two are suspect.
SpywareBlaster. Will nuke thousands of different potentially malicious ActiveX controls, and now has the ability to prevent a number of non-ActiveX methods of installing spyware for people who use Mozilla/Firefox.
SpywareGuard. From Javacool, like SpywareBlaster. It’s a real-time scanner for spyware. A decent first line of defense.
IE-SpyAd. Throws numerous ad-related URLs into IE’s Restricted Zone, where they won’t display or affect your system. Bookmark this one, since it’s the only one that doesn’t have an in-program update.
A few people have recommended also installing the Sun Java Virtual Machine, since it’s Windows’ buggy, half-assed implementation of the JVM that allows a lot of spyware to install (less so within the past month and a half than before). I STRONGLY recommend that you visit here and update your version of Java.
Surprisingly, many people have asked me about the Microsoft Anti-Spyware Beta. I downloaded it and tried it, and it shockingly did a great job. Since it’s free, I’ll recommend it here.
So many people have asked about a free anti-virus program that I’m also going to recommend AVG. Totally free, and works really, really well, as well as commercial anti-virus programs. Frequent database updates, good heuristic detection, everything you want in an anti-virus package.
Another program that I’d like to add here is a little tough to work with for noobs if it goes buggy (you need to know a little something about your Networking settings in order to debug if something should go wrong). Protowall is a supplement to your firewall or NAT system. It hooks directly into XP’s networking system to block any and all traffic that comes from URLs on a list maintained by the program (all protocols, not just TCP/UDP). It’s mainly designed for anti-P2P purposes (which will appeal to a great many of my readers), but it contains lists to block spyware and ads. Its blocklist can easily be updated using its supplementary program, Blocklist Manager. I have Protowall running and a Blocklist Manager icon on my desktop, and I use Blocklist Manager to update the blocklist every couple of days. You will have problems getting to some sites unless you shut down Protowall temporarily, like ESPN or Sports Illustrated, but it does have a tray icon you can right-click and shut down in a few seconds. It’s the third layer of anti-ad material for me, with IE-SpyAd and AdSubtract running alongside it. Warning, though: it only works with XP. I’d recommend its predecessor, Peer Guardian, for other MS OSes, but it isn’t being developed anymore, and there were still bugs in it when development stopped. You can get Protowall and the Blocklist Manager (which will also work with Peer Guardian) at Bluetack’s site.
Of course, only download them from the links provided above. And only download those programs; don’t fall for the ads that are shown at various websites.
With AdAware and Spybot, check for updates using their internal update function at least once a week. Run them at least once a week or whenever you think you might have problems. Remember, the new version of Spybot has browser protection capabilities, so have that run at startup and leave it running. Check for updates to SpywareBlaster once a week. It only needs to be run once initially in order to establish protection. Then, after it downloads updates, just click on the line that says “Enable Protection For All Unprotected Items” and kill it. It doesn’t need to be active. For IE-SpyAd, bookmark the site and check for updates twice a week, since it has no kind of internal updater. Since all it does is add Registry entries, it doesn’t eat up anything. Run the Blocklist Manager every couple of days to make sure that you keep up on the latest banned URLs.
If you’re having trouble with spyware or a browser hijacker, or think that you do, head over to the SpywareInfo Forums, where the pros there can help you diagnose and get rid of stuff. I was promoted to Full Helper status there and ended up joining ASAP, the Alliance of Security Analysis Professionals. Look for their symbol.
The Ravin’ Cajun asks me to recommend a good client-side spam filter for MS mail programs running under Windows. Now, this is something I don’t have experience with because my ISPs have always had good spam filtering, plus, I use Thunderbird, which handles the remainder quite nicely, thank you. Some readers wrote in and recommended SpamBayes, which is totally free and supposedly works very well, so I’ll add it on to the anti-annoyance list that we’re building up here.
Now that 1.0 has been released, I feel good in recommending Firefox as an alternative to IE. Go grab a copy and see what you’re missing.
SHOWS YOU WHO CARES
The funeral of Rafik Hariri this morning (US time) brought out a paroxsym of pain from a country that had suffered so much of it until recently. It was a typical Mideast funeral, with a long line of mourners/protesters following the casket and such, but there were no calls for violence, no calls for revenge, nothing like the footage that you normally see of a Palestinian funeral, just angry citizens upset that a popular politican was murdered in such a disgusting fashion. Probably because it was Muslim-on-Muslim violence that caused Hariri’s death.
But it’s causing waves, and, for that matter, pissing matches. First of all, the family didn’t want a state funeral, because it blames the government of Lebanon for the death (indirectly, of course, and they told members of the current government that they weren’t welcome at the burial). Hariri resigned his post, after all, when the government went against him, the Maronite Christian Church, the Christian bloc in Parliament, and even the Druze and amended the Lebanese constitution to allow the current president Emile Lahoud to spend an extra three years in office. Lahoud is, of course, Bashar Assad’s puppet, and the Syrians didn’t want to take any chances that someone who might be, oh, a little independent might get into the presidency. Syria could do this because, hey, you don’t want sixteen thousand pissed-off Syrians with guns anywhere, and they’re already in Lebanon wearing Syrian army uniforms.
The US pulled its ambassador out of Syria yesterday, ostensibly for the ubiquitous “consultation”, but then Condi f*cked the whole thing up by calling a press conference and said that US-Syrian relations were “worsening” and, in more diplomatic language, that Syrian military presence in Lebanon was essentially an army of occupation. Her mouthpiece Richard Boucher went one step further and stated that it was the presence of Syrian military forces that created the conditions that caused the bombing. Please tell me exactly why the Senate confirmed Condi in this position again. Giving her State was like giving Josef Mengele Health and Human Services. Or, for that matter, giving Mike Johanns Agriculture (gotta get the shots in on the boss, but he deserves it for playing footsie with the Japanese on the issue of beef imports to Japan).
My new hero is Imad Moustapha, the Syrian ambassador to the US. He went right after Condi and her boys, telling the world that Syria being involved in the bombing and supporting terrorism was just like Iraq having WMDs. Pow, right to the gut. Man, he doesn’t f*ck around on this kind of stuff. Of course, we all know that Syria supports (or at the very least did support) terrorism, but all evidence is that Bashar Assad has broken ties with terrorists that his dad had no trouble giving aid and comfort to*. Only time will tell if it’s the truth, or whether Moustapha is simply Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf in a different uniform. If so, I think his cognomen should be “Damascus Dave”.
* – Compare and contrast to Mahmoud Abbas agreeing to unfreeze a few of Hamas’ bank accounts. This question is worth ten points.
Of course, the US decided to fire back in your typical diplomatic fashion. The President of France attended the funeral. The British Foreign Minister attended. Who did the US send? An assistant secretary of state. Look, I know that Muslim funerals are a short-notice type of thing, but couldn’t the US send someone higher up on the food chain, if only for the sake of image?
So who’s really responsible? No one knows. Some yahoo named Ahmad Abu Adas, a Lebanese, claimed responsibility for a group called Victory and Jihad, which no one has ever heard of (and used al-Jazeera to do it). The Lebanese have already searched his home (surprise, he wasn’t there) and detained four of his friends (three of which have been released). Sounds like your typical cheap-pub artist.
This puppy’s going to need a lot more investigation before it’s done. And let’s hope that it doesn’t involve some troops “diverted” from Iraq.
NUCLEAR-POWERED FIREWORKS
Of course, Bashar Assad isn’t the only second-generation dictator in the news. From Reuters:
North Koreans have celebrated leader Kim Jong-il’s 63rd birthday with more food than their usual rations, fireworks over his reputed mountain birthplace and sing-songs praising his military brilliance.
Yet while North Korean media reported fringe events from Laos to Romania and Guinea to Egypt, most of the world was less keen to fete the birthday boy than find ways to get Kim back to the table to negotiate an end to his nuclear ambitions.
North Koreans had plenty to say about Kim’s big day, which official media described as “the most auspicious holiday of the nation” and North Korea analysts see as a way for Pyongyang to underscore his hold on power.
“The Korean people unanimously revere leader Kim Jong-il as a brilliant commander,” said the official KCNA news agency.
“The Korean people, led by him, will surely convert the country into a great prosperous powerful nation, undaunted by any trial and difficulties.”
The Communist Party daily, Rodong Sinmun, said Kim was “endowed with outstanding commandership art and matchless courage and pluck” and represented the destiny and future of Korea.
KCNA said fireworks fizzed over Mount Paekdu, where the North says he was born at a secret camp. Foreign biographers say he
was born in the Soviet Far East.
Floral tributes mounted up and synchronized swimmers splashed in unison while the Korean People’s Army song and dance ensemble put on a show that included numbers such as the choral “General on a Galloping White Horse” and female solo “I do not know a warmer bosom than it.”
The mood grew even more festive at another military gala.
“The square turned into rising waves of dances when the participants presented more enthusiastic dances, waving the flags of the supreme commander,” KCNA said of an outdoor gala in the center of the capital, Pyongyang.
North Korean people used to tight rations received meat and other food, the South’s Yonhap news agency reported.
Hmmmm, first the pullout over the nuke talks and the official announcement that North Korea has nuclear capability (uh, no shit, like we didn’t know that already), now the old bread-and-circuses routine. Must be real comforting to live in North Korea, huh?
Let’s be honest, though. Yes, nuclear proliferation is a scary thing, but does anyone, I mean ANYONE, take Kim Jong-il seriously after Team America? The movie sucked, but the sight of Kim as a puppet manipulating Alec Baldwin undercuts any kind of fear that might be generated by him. Trey Parker and Matt Stone have a habit of doing that. I can’t take Paris Hilton seriously after “Stupid Spoiled Whore”, for instance.
I wonder if Kim’s ever done a porno film…
WELL, THIS FUCKS MY PLANS UP
From the AP Wire:
A 15-year-old boy who claimed the antidepressant Zoloft drove him to kill his grandparents and burn their house down was found guilty of murder Tuesday and sentenced to 30 years in prison.
The jury took six hours to reject Christopher Pittman’s claim that he was “involuntarily intoxicated” by the drug and could not be held responsible for the crime.
The trial was the first case in the United States in which it was argued that the antidepressant led a youngster to kill, Pittman’s lawyer said. It came at a time of heightened government attention to the use of antidepressants by children and growing evidence that the drugs can lead to suicidal impulses.
Pittman was 12 in 2001 when he killed his grandparents, Joe Pittman, 66, and Joy Pittman, 62, with a pump-action shotgun as they slept in their rural home, then torched their house and drove off in their car. He was charged as an adult.
Pittman hung his head as the verdict was read. “I know it’s in the hands of God. Whatever he decides on, that’s what it’s going to be,” he said quietly, just before Judge Danny Pieper handed down the minimum sentence. The boy could have gotten life in prison.
About a month before the slayings, Pittman was hospitalized after threatening to kill himself. He was prescribed the antidepressant Paxil and was later put on Zoloft.
A psychiatrist testified for the defense that the Zoloft was to blame for the killings, and a former Food and Drug Administration official testified that the crime was an angry, rash, manic act “that was chemically induced.”
Pittman’s lawyers urged the jury to send a message to the nation by blaming Zoloft. They said the negative effects of Zoloft are more pronounced in youngsters, and the drug affected Pittman so he did not know right from wrong.
“We do not convict children for murder when they have been ambushed by chemicals that destroy their ability to reason,” attorney Paul Waldner said.
But prosecutors called the Zoloft defense a smokescreen, saying the boy knew exactly what he was doing. Prosecutor Barney Giese said the real motivation for the crime was the boy’s anger at his grandparents for disciplining him for choking a younger student on a school bus.
And he reminded jurors how the boy carried out the killings shooting his grandfather in the mouth and his grandmother in her head while both lay sleeping.
“I don’t care how old he is. That is as malicious a killing a murder as you are ever going to find,” the prosecutor said. He pointed to Pittman’s statement to police in which he said his grandparents “deserved it.”
Pfizer Inc., the manufacturer of Zoloft, issued a statement saying that it was a tragic case and that the testimony showed Pittman needed help before the slayings.
“Zoloft didn’t cause his problems, nor did the medication drive him to commit murder. On these two points, both Pfizer and the jury agree,” the drug company said.
In April, a Santa Cruz, Calif., a man who beat his friend was acquitted by a jury of attempted murder after he blamed the episode on Zoloft. But in at least two cases last year, juries in Michigan and North Dakota rejected similar claims.
Zoloft is the most widely prescribed antidepressant in the United States, with 32.7 million prescriptions written in 2003. Last October, the Food and Drug Administration ordered Zoloft and other antidepressants to carry “black box” warnings the government’s strongest warning short of a ban about an increased risk of suicidal behavior in children.
I’ve never been on Zoloft. It’s a pussy drug for what I have. But please note the sentence I bolded. He was put on Paxil and then put on Zoloft. Now Paxil I know very, very well. And I think that it could definitely be responsible for the murders.
Imagine you’re a twelve-year-old boy. You’re starting to get hard-ons. You’re starting to like to get hard-ons, and you’re thinking about sex all of the time. Masturbation is becoming your new favorite pastime. I might be old now, but I still remember what puberty was like. It’s a confusing, but still exciting time. Means you’re becoming a man and everything. The only embarassing part of it is trying to hide your ruined-by-noctural-emission underwear from your mother. At least girls can go to their mother about periods and breasts. But we guys think that mothers are a bit embarassed about sperm.
How did I get off on that tangent? Okay, back to my point. So you’re twelve, you’re starting to get hard-ons, you’re starting to become a man. And then, all of a sudden, you’re put on Paxil. Then the hard-ons stop and you stop thinking about sex all the time. It was disconcerting for me as a guy in his mid-30s when I was put on Paxil. Imagine how it must be for a twelve-year-old. And now combine the fact that he was mentally unstable to boot. Believe me, you’re going to get pissed off at the slightest provocation. And your grandfather is stupid enough to keep a loaded gun in the house. One synapse leads to another, and you end up with dead grandparents. I think that if you dug up Freud, he could tell you about the symbolism behind the whole thing. You can’t shoot off one way, so you’re going to shoot off in another.
The kid’s father, the son of the dead grandparents in question, is going to appeal on the basis that he shouldn’t have been tried as an adult. I’d recommend that the first thing the lawyers do is start blaming Paxil. Hey, anything to prevent the kid from becoming a prison bitch.
FIGHT OR FLIGHT
From CNET News:
Bill Gates admits spyware came as a surprise to Microsoft and promises that protection will be free of charge for licensed Windows users
Ending speculation about whether it was shifting to a paid model, Microsoft said on Tuesday that it will provide customers with licensed copies of Windows with its new anti-spyware software for free.
The pledge, made by Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates during his keynote speech kicking off the RSA Conference 2005 in San Francisco, comes after the company had been testing its AntiSpyware application — technology it acquired with its purchase of security software maker Giant.
“Just as spyware is something that we have to nip down today, we have decided that all licensed Windows users should have that protection at no charge,” Gates said.
The initiative is part of Microsoft’s efforts to strengthen security for home and business users of its Windows desktop software. Consumers are not always aware of the dangers of such threats as spyware, viruses and phishing. A study published last October found that more than 80 percent of consumers had been infected with spyware.
While Microsoft turned its attention to general software security three years ago with its Trustworthy Computing Initiative, the spotlight on consumers began a year and a half ago, after the MSBlast worm infected millions of home PCs. The worm taunted Microsoft’s founder with the message, “billy gates why do you make this possible? Stop making money and fix your software!”
Microsoft introduced the beta of its Windows AntiSpyware application last month. Typically, spyware generates pop-up ads or keeps track of people’s Web surfing.
Windows AntiSpyware is Microsoft’s answer to a threat that came essentially as a surprise to the software giant. Gates acknowledged that the threat appeared on the company’s radar over the last year and said the company had to do better this year.
“We need significant advances to make sure this [threat] does not spread like it did this year,” he said.
This is pretty damn good news, which is rare coming from Redmond. The beta is a good enough tool that I’ve put it in the Anti-Spyware Section as an add-on to the two free standards, Spybot and Ad-Aware. Now that it’s free, I’m going to keep it there (and modify the particular sentence when it comes out of beta). Hell, it’s the least they can do. I still get about four letters a week about spyware and how to cure it. Maybe those letters will stop if people start using it. Of course, I have real-time protection turned off in order to save CPU cycles, but I still use it for periodic scans and, most importantly, keep it updated. I’ll repeat that in caps for those of you not listening and are satisfied with your computer running at the speed of a turtle on ‘ludes: GET THE PROGRAM AND KEEP IT UPDATED!
Now that MS is treating the symptom, what about the cause?
From USA Today:
Microsoft is readying a new, more secure version of Internet Explorer, the world’s most widely used  and hacked  Web browser, company Chairman Bill Gates said in a speech to security experts Tuesday. The software giant will start testing the upgrade, called IE 7, this summer and make it available to users of the latest version of Windows at some point after that. The move underscores how an onslaught of spyware  tiny programs implanted on the browser  have come to plague computer users and tarnish Microsoft’s reputation.
“Spyware…is something we need to nip now,” Gates said.
Spyware can steal log-ins and passwords and direct users to unsavory Web sites. Cyberintruders are continually finding ways to piggyback spyware onto technology called ActiveX, which Microsoft built into IE to help firms remotely run programs on workers’ PCs.
Until Gates gave the keynote address at the giant RSA security conference here, Microsoft had said it would not overhaul IE until the next version of its Windows operating system, code-named Longhorn, is ready in 2006 or 2007.
Microsoft has long argued that IE is so tightly bundled into Windows that the browser and operating system cannot be separated. Gates did not make clear how the firm will retool IE prior to delivering Longhorn. He was shy on the details of the planned improvements.
Gates could be trying to buy time until Longhorn’s release. “Microsoft has another 18 months when it has to get people to protect this vulnerable system and isn’t ready to talk about how much better it’s going to be,” says Gartner analyst John Pescatore.
Adding pressure, IE, for the first time in years, faces competition from free browsers Firefox and Opera, both designed to repel spyware. A new version of America Online’s Netscape browser, with security upgrades, is expected to be unfurled Thursday.
I’m glad they mentioned the delay on IE7. One of the more disconcerting pieces of news last year was the announcement of a delay in updating IE, still the ultra-dominant browser, until Longhorn. The news caused a lot of people to switch over to Firefox for the additional security and the more frequent updating. Actual competition does funny things to MS. If they’re not trying to kill the competition (viz. Netscape), they’re reacting to public pressure to do so. That’s one reason they bought Giant and Sybari (although the Sybari purchase was designed to f*ck over Symantec and McAfee).
What also surprises me is the negative statement from someone from Gartner. They’re normally MS’s bitches, laying down for anything said by Gates or Ballmer. Maybe they’re flexing their independence for once. Of course, since Billy admitted to mistakes in the first place, they may just be reacting to their master.
XP SP2 was a step in the right direction, with its built-in pop-up blocker for IE and its upgraded firewall. Now let’s hope that these statements in regard to IE7 are truthful.
And that’ll be it for me today. Yes, it’s a shock to get a Wednesday column out of me, but you’ll get over it. I have just enough time to shower and get to work, so I’ll be seeing you this weekend for the Smackdown Short Form and the No Way Out Round Table. Until then, have a good one.
