I got some good feedback from my first review here for insidepulse.com on SummerSlam 1993. One of the most interesting opinions came from Chris Page who e-mailed his theory on why IRS beat the 1-2-3 Kid on that show:
My theory on [why IRS beat 1-2-3 Kid] is two-fold, a) they wanted to keep the Kid as an upset guy, so they had him lose this one, else any time he won wouldn’t be an upset any more, and b) they were about to embark into an I.R.S./Razor Ramon feud. What with everyone and their mothers thinking Razor would win that one easy, they could add just a little doubt into everybodies head by having Schyster note that he was able to defeat the Kid first time out without too much trouble whereas Razor tried twice and failed both times (and I.R.S. DID come out and say this at least once), giving Schyster some justification in being the #1 contender for the intercontinental title which Razor won soon after.
I appreciate the feedback from Chris as from every else who did respond to me on that article as well. All of your e-mails definitely gave me something to think about. Now on with this Coliseum Video release: Global Warfare 1993!
Tape Information:
Location: Europe (while the tape says global warfare all of the matches occur over there)
Host: Jimmy Hart
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, and “Macho Man” Randy Savage
This is a 1993 WWF Coliseum video release with Jimmy Hart hosting (as is indicated above) and talking about how he writes WWF music. The events in this tape leads to me to believe that the entire video was completed after King of the Ring 1993, although not all of the matches were probably filmed or occurred after that pay-per-view. Nevertheless, it’s weird to see Jimmy Hart narrating a WWF tape and speaking about his admiration of Hulk Hogan when Hogan & Jimmy were on their way out of the WWF and over to WCW within a year of it being released.
-Intercontinental Championship Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Crush:
This match is coming to us from Sheffield, England. Crush’s purple and yellow colored trunks are really distracting to the eyes but Michaels tries to balance it out with some catchy red and white trunks. Crush shoves Michaels around and toys with him as we open up but an eye rake helps Michaels escape a bearhug. They go through a run of the ropes and such until Crush hits a backbreaker which sends Michaels to the floor giving him time to stall until luring Crush into the old “chase me around the ring, I’ll go inside, and stomp you when you return” spot. However, Crush gets a gorilla press slam after some repetitions with Michaels although he tried to dump him over the top rope and the referee said no. Why do the refs always do that? What is it in the rules about faces not being able to gorilla press their opponent to the floor? Back to the action where Crush gets a clothesline to send Michaels outside and then when they go back in Crush keeps up the pounding until Michaels moves on a blind charge, knocks Crush to the floor, and takes him into the railing and ringpost. We get a huge lull in the action as Michaels kicks Crush away from inside the ring and we try to get going again with Michaels getting three double axehandles from the second rope and a flying elbowdrop from the second rope but Crush keeps getting up. Sloppy DDT gets two and on to the chinlock we go. Are these international matches always this boring? I guess there isn’t much pressure to do awesome since their main audience isn’t there. Crush comes back after catching a Michaels boot and comes back with a big boot, suplex, and legdrop which must be painful enough for Michaels because he bails and takes the countout at 8:51. However, I dispute that finish because Crush left the ring to chase Michaels before the ten count was finished. Oh well, wrestling never has logic sometimes and the crowd gets further screwed over when Crush throws Michaels back in and gets him in the Kona Crush, raising the title belt up but it’s not his because he didn’t win by pin or submission. Bet he wishes this match was under AWA rules. Match was just bad. *
-Yokozuna (accompanied by Mr. Fuji) vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan:
Match is coming to you “live” from Paris, France which is hilarious in 21st century terms because of current U.S.-French relations. Hilarity goes on further when the French crowd starts chanting “USA.” Duggan with punches to corner Yokozuna but then goes and grabs his 2×4 in the corner which the referee takes away and Yokozuna punches. Your typical Duggan-Yokozuna match ensues here with punches, thrusts, choking, and clotheslines. Who thought it was such a great idea to put the WWF title on Yokozuna after all? He only got the belt because he was so damn huge (which was very unhealthy for him and contributed to his death in the end scheme of things) and I’m not saying that’s illegitimate but think of how many great main events Bret Hart could’ve had as WWF Champion through 1993. Don’t you see how good a Bret Hart-Lex Luger (under creative Narcissist gimmick) could’ve been at SummerSlam 1993 instead of the Stars & Stripes farce we got playing on the economic tensions between the U.S. & Japan? This match plods along as we see Duggan get up and see Duggan go down. Turning point comes when Yokozuna tries to squash Duggan in the corner but his buckle and Duggan delivers many a clothesline to send Yokozuna down. Three-point stance is lined up but Fuji intelligently trips Duggan, a distraction that allows Yokozuna to avalanche Duggan against the buckles and get the Banzai Drop to finish at 7:31. Three letters: B-A-D and D-U-D
-WWF Tag Team Championship Match: Money Incorporated vs. The Steiner Brothers:
This match taking place in Barcelona, Spain and in a very DUMB booking maneuver the WWF has an English-speaking announcer…don’t worry this becomes important later on. IRS gives his tax cheat line but the crowd doesn’t understand him and is silent. Steiner Brothers try to get into the ring but IRS keeps swinging the briefcase so the announcer tells everyone that unless they give up the briefcase they must forfeit the belts AND THE CROWD IS SILENT BECAUSE THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND IT!!! Sorry that’s just so idiotic and sad on so many levels. Eventually, the referee takes the briefcase from IRS and the Steiner Bros. level into the champs and send them out of the ring. For a crowd as big as the one they have in the building here they sure don’t like to make noise which allows Heenan to go into a rant about how “some crowds are vocal and some like to sit and watch every move.” Why can’t they do both say I? Rick Steiner and Ted DiBiase in a wrestling sequence with DiBiase getting a near-fall on a headlock but Rick gets an overhead belly-to-belly off the ropes. Steiner Bros. tag in and out to work over DiBiase’s arm combined with their amateur wrestling takedowns. REALLY BAD camera work as we get a shot of the audience for a good minute and a half or so while action unfolds in the ring and some near-falls occur. When the camera gets back to the action IRS gets tagged in and the Steiner Bros. work over him. “We’ll be seeing the Lopez family eat rice and beans [instead of seeing the end of the match]” is how Heenan sums up the camera work (very beautifully I might add). IRS and Scott tussle around with Scott countering his caught boot by grabbing IRS’s tie and hot-shotting him on the top rope with it. Man, I wish Gorilla Monsoon was on commentary since he always urged someone to do that to IRS. DiBiase trips Scott when he runs the ropes to give the champs the advantage and takes him to the steps and railing on the floor before rolling him back in where IRS drops an elbow for two. DiBiase gets a double-axehandle to Scott as IRS holds and gets a big stomp for two. Choking ensues by the Million Dollar Man and Money Inc. cheats and double-teams legally to beat Scott’s brains out. Clothesline by DiBiase gets two. Sleeper is applied by DiBiase (why not go for the Million Dollar Dream?) and Steiner charges into the corner, making DiBiase hit his head on the top buckle. Momentum swinging tag to Rick, although you’d never know from the crowd reaction, and its Steinerlines for everyone. Four-way action comes into the ring and when the referee tries to push IRS back to his corner as DiBiase tries a piledriver on Rick, Scott gives DiBiase a flying clothesline with Rick covering for two. Scott gets tagged in after Rick powerslams DiBiase and knocks IRS to the floor and hits the Frankensteiner but IRS breaks up the pin with one of the tag belts to draw the disqualification at 10:12. Not one clean ending on this tape thus far. Match was just a generic tag team match following the 101 platform. **
-Mr. Perfect vs. Samu (accompanied by Afa):
Match is coming to us from Sheffield, England and I’m asking myself the question “why in the hell is this on the tape?” Samu shoves away and yells until Perfect goes on a quick run of shoulderblocks, dropkicks, a cross body (which gets one), and armdrags that sends Samu bailing after Perfect gets on all fours and intimidates him out of the ring in a nice spot. Perfect tries to go on another quick rally by Samu stops that with a clothesline and lets out his island gangster violence. Afa gives Perfect a field goal kick after Samu throws him over the top rope and Samu gets a double-axehandle off the apron to Perfect’s back and slams his face into the steps. By the way, I’m starting to have second thoughts about this match being so bad after all so consider me on the fence. Samu hot shots Perfect but a blind charge with the knee into the buckles misses and Perfect attacks it. Perfect ends up on the floor again, though, and Afa sneaks in a headbutt behind the referee’s back. Quote of the tape nominee from Heenan: “Life’s a cheap shot…hit it first and you usually win.” Typical Samu offense leads to a two-count and we get some choking. Samu no-sells Perfect’s comeback (surprise) and tosses Perfect back to the floor and runs him into the post. Two consecutive headbutts by Samu and he gets a low blow headbutt as Afa distracts the referee. Slam and a falling headbutt gets two. Perfect wins a slugest after a minute of nothing happening but Samu goes low again. Surprise small package by Perfect after Samu takes him to the buckles several times gets two. Samu throws Perfect to the floor again but this time Perfect trips Samu and whips his leg into the ringpost but guess what…SAMU NO-SELLS THAT TOO and greets Perfect with a slam and falling headbutt when he returns to the ring. All of this no-selling by Samu and his insistence on controlling 94% of the match with his boring offense killed any momentum this match had. Flying headbutt by Samu misses, though, and that gives Perfect the chance to get the Perfectplex for the duke at 13:33. Good thing I’m feeling generous. ½*
-Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Bret Hart:
We’re back in Barcelona, Spain for this one and the crowd appears to be more lively than it did for the tag championship match. Bigelow uses his size and big frame to overpower Bret early and causes the Hitman to bail after a shoulderblock. Bret comes back with a dropkick after a Bigelow pounding and avoids an elbowdrop, giving him an opportunity to work over the arm. Blind charge by Bigelow misses and Bret goes back to the arm. Savage describes how wrestlers will wrap up the opposite of their injured arm to gain an advantage on their opponent which I think is funny because I surely didn’t see Savage using that strategy in WCW in 1995 (remember his quick tap out to Lex Luger at World War 3 that year?). Anyway, Bret falls on top of Bigelow when he tries a gorilla press slam for two and Bigelow kicks out with such force that it sends Bret to the floor. Bret slides back in, though, and knocks Bigelow onto the floor for the first time in the match to get some revenge. Bret tries to dive onto Bigelow from the apron but gets himself caught and run into the ringpost. Bret just never was very successful with those high-risk moves early in the match (ala WrestleMania X against Owen). Bigelow channels my thought process as to why Bret’s taking so long to get back into the ring so he goes back outside and rams his back into the post again. We finally return to the ring with Bigelow dishing out an Asbury Park beatdown. High angled side suplex transitioned from a bearhug gets two and seven-eighths for Bigelow. Canadian backbreaker by Bigelow only sees Bret’s shoulder drop twice and Bret gets a side suplex for a double knockdown. Bigelow gets up first, though, and hits a double-underhook backbreaker only to see his flying headbutt miss the mark. Bret fires away being given a second wind and a side Russian legsweep gets two. Flying clothesline off the second rope gets two. Second rope bulldog is nailed and Bret tries for the Sharpshooter but Bigelow blocks. Bret gets out of a bearhug but Bigelow reverses his weight on a slam and that gets two. Blind charge by Bigelow eats boot and Bret gets a victory roll for the pin at 11:56. I guess that’s what he tried to do to Owen at WrestleMania X but Owen must’ve gotten his hands on this tape. Match was sort of disappointing but it picked up at the end. **½
-Doink the Clown vs. Crush:
We’re back in Paris, France for this grudge match…let’s just hope they don’t pull the two Doinks crap again. Doink crawls under the ring as Crush comes down the aisle which bodes a bad sign for my initial hopes. By the way, the evil Doink character was by far one of the greatest gimmicks the WWF ever came up with and it was only when they turned him face that everything went south. “Doink” sneaks from underneath the ring to do a cheap attack on the big Hawaiian but Crush is waiting for it and manhandles him. Doink bails and Crush hits him with a chop off the apron when he’s arguing with fans but Doink appears to have watched Crush’s match in England and stomps on him when they run back into the ring. However, Crush no-sells that and keeps up his attack, killing Doink with a clothesline and backbreaker. Crush hits a legdrop, two kneedrops, and hooks in a head vice via the legs but Doink gets out. Doink’s jobber treatment continues as he fails to slam Crush and gets hit with a belly-to-belly suplex and a backbreaker. Top rope kneedrop by Crush misses and Doink goes to work on the injured body part using the ringpost and ring ropes as weapons. Doink gets a kneebreaker and bodyslam (which makes sense now because the legs have been taken out) but when Doink tries a top rope move Crush gets hit boot up, although Doink jumped right on the leg!!! Crush mounts an injured comeback and a big boot sends Doink to the floor. Crush attempts the Kona Crush while Doink is on the apron but he ties himself in the ropes to void the maneuver and then decides to take a hike as well as the countout loss at 8:11. How many cop out finishes can they put on this tape? Match wasn’t spectacular or anything but at least they didn’t pull the two Doinks thing out of the bag for the zillionth time. *½
-IRS vs. Scott Steiner:
This match takes us to another part of Europe, Milan, Italy, and I actually look forward to this encounter because I consider myself an IRS fan (sad to say but true). Sequence of hammerlock reversals gets us started with IRS moving into the ropes to break. IRS hits an enzeguri (!!!) and knocks Scott to the floor but Scott comes back in and gets a powerslam off the ropes for two. Headlock from Scott gets two and IRS rolls him up for a few near-falls. Small package from Scott gets two and they mess up a backslide but recover nicely with Scott getting a two-count causing IRS to bail in frustration. Oh c’mon keep it up and this could be the match of the tape! Give me a bone once in a while ppllleeeeassseee!!!! Amateur wrestling sequence occurs with Scott getting the advantage with a downed hammerlock and driving his knee into IRS’s shoulder. Scott gets a clothesline (or Steinerline if you’d prefer) for two and IRS bails again. After taking forever to get back into the ring, IRS hurls Scott to the floor and rams him into the apron and ring steps. IRS gets a slam back into the ring but a splash off the ropes hits knees and IRS begs off and tries to call time out/offering a handshake so Scott shakes his hand and unloads. If only all faces could follow by example. Scott whips the crud out of IRS when sending him to the buckle but when he repeats it a blind charge eats boot and IRS uses the Flair pin to secure the pin but the referee waves it off. BOOOO!!! IRS tries a Samoan Drop but unfortunately for him Scott maneuvers out of it and counters with a sunset flip to score the pin. No Frankensteiner? The crowd wasn’t much into the match which hurt its rating but it was a sound technical encounter outside of too much resting (which appears to be a nagging problem on this tape). **
-Main Event of the Tape: Yokozuna (accompanied by Mr. Fuji) vs. The Undertaker (accompanied by Paul Bearer):
It doesn’t look like we’re going to end this tape with a highly rated match but who knows, maybe we could see some lucha action break out between the two. Staredown two minutes AFTER the opening bell rings and Yokozuna does his major punches but Undertaker no-sells and fires away. Undertaker with a DDT off the ropes, shaking the whole ring in the process, but the running elbowdrop misses (as per usual) and Undertaker is clotheslined to the floor. Fuji hits Undertaker with the Japanese flagpole but its no-sold so Yokozuna goes out and uses the ring steps, ring apron, and timekeepers table to his advantage to beat up Undertaker. Wait…am I actually giving PLAY-BY-PLAY OF A YOKOZUNA-UNDERTAKER MATCH? What in the hell is wrong with me? Undertaker keeps no-selling Yokozuna’s offense while dominating in the key parts. THERE THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! However, after Undertaker sits up after a clothesline Yokozuna just says screw it and hits Undertaker with the trademark wooden bucket to draw the disqualification at 5:42. Chaos happens after the bell rings when Fuji decks Paul Bearer, beats on Undertaker with the flagpole, and Yokozuna looks to Banzai Drop his foe only to have Undertaker sit up and send the big man to the locker room. I actually thought this was going somewhere and was willing to give it a chance but what can I say, it wasn’t meant to be. DUD
OVERALL TAPE RATING (BUST-****): BUST because I see no reason to purchase this tape at all. King of the Ring 1993 has a Bigelow-Bret match and a Michaels-Crush match that are much more exciting than what is shown here. Also, with a MOTT (match of the tape) rating at only **½ the quality of wrestling is obviously poor. A very disappointing tape and I’d recommend you buy another video for your home wrestling video library than wasting two hours of your time watching this.
