Before we get the TNA Import report, it has been reported that Chicago will be getting Wrestlemania 22 and not Montreal as rumored. I’ve decided to take this news in a mature and professional manner. So, without further ado, the TNA…
Excuse me a moment while I get into a French mode:
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERDE! TABARNAC DE TARBARWETTE, COLLISSE ESTI DE TABARNAC! MAUDIT CHICAGO! MERDE! MERDE! MERDE! MERDE! MERDE!
That felt better.
TNA Impact Report
Last Week: Trytan made his bizarre appearance.
We start in the RDS studio with Marc Blondin and Michel Letourneur. Blondin says that unfortunately his partner is back. They both thank for Ouellet for being there last week and both debate on who he likes more. Destination X is the next PPV and we got some hype on that. The New Age Outlaw faces off against DDP this week.
Footage from earlier today shows Abyss and Jeff Hardy brawling in the cafeteria as two bald guys are eating and don’t seem to care, until the brawl is close to them.
Team Canada (w. D’Amore) vs Dustin Rhodes & AMW: Petey Williams and Chris Harris start. Back and forth they go, tag to Dustin, double dropkick to Williams! That’s right, Dustin did a dropkick. Two atomic drops on Williams. Tag to Harris, tag to Bobby Roode. Harris gets a clothesline and knocks out Eric Young. Spinebuster by Harris for a 2 when Team Canada stops the count and now everyone is in the ring. In the ring, Dustin clotheslines Williams out of there. Eric Young tries and he gets thrown out by Dustin. AMW is brawling with other members of Team Canada outside. D’Amore tries to hit Rhodes with the hockey stick, duck, backbody drop. Devine hits Dustin with the stick, Harris grabs it and hits Young and Roode with it. Williams clotheslines Harris from behind for the un, deux, trrrrrrrrrrrois.
Commercials
Shane Douglas is with Raven. At Destination X, it’s a bullrope match against Dustin Rhodes. You think he’s afraid of a bullrope match? Raven says he invented brutal matches. Then, he says his usual complicated promo and the announcers give up trying to understand him. In the end, he will set Rhodes free.
Cassidy Riley vs Chris Sabin: They shake hands and back&forth they go, dropkick sends Riley out of the ring and Sabin gives him a summersault dive. This match is to impress Dusty Rhodes in order to go to Destination X PPV in a 4-way Ultimate X match. Riley comes back with a dropkick and a lionsault (eat your heart out Y2J) for a 2. Riley gives Sabin a bizarre submission hold: it’s like a camel clutch, the only difference is Sabin’s body isn’t touching the ring. Riley gets a two count. Riley with two punches, whip to the corner, Sabin stops the charge with a knee to the back. Sabin and Riley trade punches and whips. Sabin screws up a hurrincarana. Tornado DDT for deux. DVD coming up, no, Riley with Juvi Driver for deux. Sabin comes back and gives Riley a, well, I don’t know how you call that for trrrrrois.
Commercials
Kid Kash (w. Hoyt) vs Buck Quatermain: They both trade chops and off the ropes goes Buck, reverse, flapjack by Buck. Buck in control with a clothesline, punches and a back body drop. Quatermain trying to get a reaction from the audience, but it’s just like Paul London from No Way Out. Kneedrop for deux. Kash goes for a charge and misses by getting thrown out of the ring. Outside, Hoyt gives Buck a big boot and beats on him. Back in the ring, Kash and Buck beat on each other with chops, punches and rakes. Quatermain gets a sunset for deux. Kash gives Buck a Butterfly DDT for trois. The lights go off and Letourneur tells Blondin “lache moi”, which means “let go”. Trytan once again makes an appearance. Oh, Monty Brown was on commentary.
Commercials
Backstage, we see BG James and Konnan chatting. The New Age Outlaw shows and tells James he wants to talk to him. So, they go somewhere.
Chris Candido (w. The Naturals) vs Elix Skipper: Lockup, in the ropes, rake by Candido, punches, whip, reverse, dropkick by Skipper. Whip by Skipper, reverse, a Natural trips him and Candido gives him a legdrop. In the corner, chop and Naturals beat him up behind the referee’s back. Half hour suplex and a second rope legdrop for deux. Neckbreaker for another deux. Elix goes up and spinkicks Chris. Elix with two clotheslines and a backbody drop. Elix leaps to the top, but gets crotched by a Natural. Hurrincarana for deux. Chris gets crotches on the ropes and that allows for Skipper to do a hurrincarana. Skipper knocks both Naturals out. Candido attacks from behind, cradle by Skipper, reverse, two count. Skipper gives Candido a move that was shown in Beyond The Mat with Michael Modest for trrrrrrrois.
Commercials
JF Kelly talks about the independent shows in Quebec, but this time, Marc Blondin helps him out.
Mike Tenay gets an interview with DDP. Tenay asks him about how did he come back from injuries. It wasn’t easy, but DDP came back. They relieve history about WCW when DDP and JJ traded the World Title. DDP got a lot of back and head injuries from guitar shots from Jarrett and it cost him millions. DDP wants what Jarrett wants, the World Title.
Chirstopher Daniels, Kazarian and Michael Shane vs Sonny Siaki, Ron Killings and AJ Styles: Dusty Rhodes still got some deciding to do, but we know for sure it ain’t going to be Kazarian at DX. It will start off with a tag team match where the first guy to be pinned will be eliminated. Then, it’s an ordinary 3-way. After somebody gets pinned, the two remaining will be face off in Ultimate X. Pretty stupid as 3 people could just triple team some guy and get him eliminated.
Commercials
AJ and Daniels start it off. Kazarian attacks from behind and the beating begins. Tag to Shane and now AJ is in control with a hurrincarana, a bodyslam and a kneedrop. Tag to Ron, double whip, double hiptoss. In the corner, Killings with punches, whip, Killings meets Shane’s foot. Powerslam by Ron. Shane gets placed on the top rope, Ron going for a superplex, but Kazarian holds Shane and Killings gets thrown off. Dropkick by Shane. Michael with a right hand on AJ. The referee gets distracted and Daniels comes in for more assault on Killings. Enziguri by Daniels. Now, Kazarian comes in illegally. Bodyslam and legdrop by Kazarian. Tag to Shane. More beatings. Kazarian and Shane do AMW’s move on Ron for deux. Kazarian with a dropkick to Killings in the corner for deux when Siaki stopped the count. Shane now in the ring with a resthold. The infamous technique where the referee misses the tag happens and we’re back with more bag guys in control. Kazarian & Ron cross body each other. Sonny Siaki is tagged and goes crazy on everyone. Samoan drop on Daniels. Siaki gives Kazarian Edge’s move where he holds your face and makes you fall down, except it is on Siaki’s knees. Shane stops the attack. Styles is in now with a flying shoulder block on Shane. AJ going for the Styles clash, but Daniels is in with a clothesline. Daniels going for his move, but Killings knocks him down. Kazarian & Ron are out of the ring. Siaki with a flapjack on Shane. Kazarian trips Siaki, Siaki knocks Kazarian out and Shane hits Siaki with sweet chin music for un, deux, trrrrrrrrois.
Commercials
Jeff Jarrett comes out and joins the commentators. He says he is the King of the Mountain and any time, DDP can leave it. DDP shows up and gets into a brawl with Jeff Jarrett in the audience. The New Age Outlaw shows and now there’s a double team. Kevin Nash shows up and brawls with NAO, while JJ and DDP do their thing.
We end it in the RDS studios. Letourneur really wants someone to take the belt off JJ. At Destination X, DDP has his chance. A weird ending as Blondin gives Letourneur his cell phone for some reason.
A la prochaine!
