Remote Destination

Ah it’s the time of year again; I feel like I’ve completely wasted another twelve months. Yup it’s award season.

Y’see I pretend to be a writer. I’ve written a couple of screenplays (nothing that’s been produced) and I’ve even toyed with writing for television, but writing about it is the closest I’ve gotten.

Right around this time of year, every year, I swear that I’m going to write more, and actually write something that will sell. But strangely something usually comes up to distract me.

On a completely unrelated note; the grand return of Moodspins!!

Last Weeks Viewing

Real Time With Bill Maher – I’m glad that Bill addressed his “liberal audience.” When I went to Jump The Shark and read how many people think the show “jumped” because of it’s audience. Bill’s got no control over that. His audience is very liberal, but that’s because liberals tend to enjoy his humor more and thus are more likely to attend tapings.

That and there is a left wing conspiracy against conservatives.

Independent Spirit Awards – The Indie Oscars® is always an entertaining affair. I’ll never forget Derek Luke’s acceptance speech from a few years ago. I respect that the ISAs aren’t a tux and tails affair. It’s also more earnest. It’s a fun show to watch, and I urge everyone to catch it.

Boston Legal – I finally watched the episode from a few weeks ago. It was pretty good. James Spader is giving us one of the most entertaining characters on the tube. And I appreciate the way issues are dealt with.

Carnivale – I’m really caught up this season. I care about every storyline. Brother Justin vs Ben is shaping up very nicely. Ben and Samson beefing was also a nice touch. Jonesy’s marriage is also very intriguing. This show has really surprised me.

Unscripted – So now does this show morph into Entourage? Brian has apparently “made it.” I just want to say for the record; Goddard is the man. He’s shagged, what, three of his students? The man is no joke, and he’s the character that I care most about.

Academy Awards – Chris Rock did an amazing job. I really enjoyed it. I thought he killed. His trip to Magic’s Theater was priceless. PRICELESS! I was pretty happy for everyone who won, but I didn’t have anything really invested in any category. Oh yeah, Beyonce was bangin’!

Lost – Hurley finally gets an episode! Is it just me or is there just too much going on? There is a beast on the island, Walt has a “gift”, Hurley is cursed, Locke is cured, plus there’s incest. This show should be called Extra.

Smallville – As a fan of comics I disliked this episode. In the comics Lucy isn’t like this at all. Plus I still don’t like Lois living with the Kents. This show has dropped in quality, at least in my eyes.

Tilt – Now this show has increased in quality. I like how Clark got out from under his “buddy.” The way the “internet” gambler lost was predictable, but entertaining. I did enjoy the “World Series of Poker” moments. This show has become more worthy of watching every week.

Oz (edited for a poor soul) – Dude, how cruddy is ________ that he set up _______ and got him back in Oz? That sucks. And even though I was hoping that _______ wasn’t really dead, he was. And now ________ got killed in the hospital. Poor _______ is still getting shock therapy and really suffering. I’ve got admit that I was surprised to find out that ________ was really rich and just acting up. That was a shocker. But I’m really pissed that ________ is back. At least _______ doesn’t have to worry about “spooning” anymore.

Scrubs – Man, was this episode great. Zack did a phenomenal job directing. This week was really a treat to watch. It was also so true. There have been plenty of times that I knowingly said the “wrong thing” or realized that it was wrong just a second too late. Man, this show rocks.

Greatest Show Ever”¦this week: Law & Order: Trial By Jury

I’m an old school Law & Order fan. Paul Robinette, Ben Stone, and Mike Logan rank as some of my favorite characters. The show fell out of favor with me in the 7th season when they focused more on the characters personal lives. I never got into SVU, but I did watch Criminal Intent religiously, until I got HBO (which has a stranglehold on Sunday Night viewing.)

So imagine my surprise when I was actually interested in watching Trial By Jury. I figured I’d give the newest addition to the franchise a change, especially considering the cast. Needless to say, I wasn’t disappointed.

As a guy who once entertained the notion of going to Law School (I was a foolish kid), I truly relished the scenes in the Grand Jury and the actual trial aspects. It was nice to see Kirk Acevedo on the right side of the law and even better to see Lennie again. I’m really going to try to catch this newest Law & Order.

P.T.I.: Dry Snitches or Investigative Reporters?

This week on Pardon The Interruption Kornheiser and Wilbon (reluctantly) have been bringing undo attention to John Travolta’s hair.

Y’see when Wilbon and Kornheiser were on Letterman last Thursday, Travolta was also on the show. He was sporting a tightly cropped Caesar. But then at the Oscars® he had a slicked back hairdo. Clearly one of the ‘dos wasn’t real. You can’t grow that much hair in three days.

On Wednesday’s show they showed some very unflattering photos of Travolta, sporting a prominent bald spot and receding hairline. Brutal.

Allow me to come to Travolta’s defense.

John Travolta is a class act. He’s one of the two Sweathogs that I’ve met. When he was filming Ladder 49 in Baltimore he was staying at the hotel across the street from the restaurant where I was working. As a result I got to witness him sign plenty of autographs (and the guy really is nocturnal.)

One night he came in to dine. He ended up staying pretty late, so late that there was only one other table left in the restaurant. But when he did leave, he said “good-bye” to the other guests and shook my hand before he left.

Now I’m not really a “star struck” guy, but Travolta was impressive. He carried himself as a star, but was still approachable. And he has, perhaps, the softest hands in the world.

Basically, I don’t see how someone like Tony Kornheiser, who has the lamest “strand over” ever, can attack the credibility of Travolta’s follicles. It sounds to me like Tony’s got hate in his blood.

Kramer vs Homer

Last week I posed the following question;

Good News; you got a promotion. Bad News; you’ve got to move. Good News; your company is going to pay for your moving expenses. Bad News; your choice of accommodations is limited.

Thus; Are you going to move across the hall from Cosmo Kramer or next door to Homer Simpson?

Imagine my surprise when I received one response. ONE RESPONSE. I ask you a question featuring two of the definitive 90’s television characters and only one person gives me an answer. This is a dark day for ‘net writing, indeed.

Fortunately Good Ol’ Faithful Joe Reid cares about my delicate ego.

It’s not even contest. Living across the hall from Kramer you get some produce eaten out of your fridge and maybe he tries to start making sausage links in your kitchen. But living next door to Homer, among other things, you get your belt sander stolen, your children start cursing, you’re a/C gets ripped out of the side of your house, your wife gets killed and you get married to a lowlife Vegas wife in a haze of booze. Plus, with Kramer, you gets the benefits of his connections with folk like Jackie Chiles and Bob Sacamano. Point and match: Kramer.

THAT’S IT, THAT’S ALL! I’m hurt. Seriously.

As for my answer, I’m going to agree with Joe. Bob Sacamano is a huge selling point, but I’d be wrong if I didn’t mention the potential of Mr. Marbles. And who wouldn’t jump at the chance to appear on Kramer’s show? Sorry Homer.

Of course this leads us naturally to”¦

Good News/Bad News/Question of the Week

Bad News; I’m pissed at y’all for your lack of response. Good News; I can’t really do anything about my anger. Bad News; you’re dead, again. Maybe it was a hit and run. Perhaps it was a murder set to look like a suicide. Or it could have been an irate net columnist whose feelings of neglect caused him to fly into a rage and track down his readers one by one. Good News; the forensic scientists are on the case!

Who do you want working your case; Quincy & Sam Fujiyama (Quincy M.E.) or the crew from C.S.I.?

(Hair) Plugs

Steve gives an abrieviated column, but manages to ask some pretty pertinent questions. I hope you showed him more love than you showed me.


Joe Reid recaps the Oscars®, mocks Ludacris, and comments on the upcoming Superman Wonder Woman movie. And let’s not forget he was the only one to give me feedback.

Aaron has a close call with calamari, and gets his lip split by his son. It’s like the reverse Marvin Gaye or something.

And rumor has it Aaron is jealous of my skill. While I’m saddened, I’m not going to respond with anger. Nor will I question his manhood either. Mostly because I’m afraid.

Greatest Video Ever”¦this week

Interpol – Evil

I dig the song and the video features puppetry. What more could you ask for?

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