My TV Reality: Special Dan Rather Edition!

News in Haiku’s

Cool guy Chi McBride
Appears on Boston Public
Fox News chose not to.

Inside Pulse TV
Gives you ten shows you should see
Also Kevin Hill

Bill Maher is back
And now he has puppet guests
Like Janet Reno!

The Column Proper

I have a confession to make. My satellite feed has been broken for the past month and a half. And I haven’t done a damn thing to fix it. Worse off, I think I like it this way.

I don’t know how it happened, but I turned on the TV and the satellite connection wasn’t working. I desperately fiddled with wires, like I was dismantling a bomb in an action movie. Finally, I gave up. I turned away, and started reading. And I read some more. You know, books aren’t half bad.

I’m not completely through with TV. I still have appointment television, but the days of five hour channel surfing are over for now. And I might be better off for it. I can still watch four channels in my room; ABC, FOX, PBS, AND CBS. This is how I’m still able to write about The Simpsons. But if I want to watch cable, I have to go in the living room. Being a lazy bastard who enjoys the comfort of his room, I usually stay in here, and just forget about what it was I was going to watch.

Was this some sign from a higher power, telling me to change my life? And has it worked? Probably not. I’ve just never been good with appliances, and my own clumsiness might have had something to do with it. I go through pairs of headphones like Kobe goes through white woman. I can’t tell for sure if it’s all been for the best just yet, but I tell you, it makes it tough to write a relevant television column.

This brings us to…

Other Schtuff

Before reading this, I highly recommend putting on the song “Not Just Sometimes But Always” by Idlewild, followed by that old 90’s classic, “Freshmen” by the Verve Pipe. Not necessary, but I promise you, you’ll be in the exact mindset I am writing this. Enjoy!

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