En Francais: TNA Impact Report

TNA Impact Report

Last week: Awesome brawl with JJ, Nash, DDP, Outlaw, 3 Live Crew, Candido and Naturals. I didn’t notice it then, but it looked like BG James was laughing during the brawl.

In the RDS studios, Marc Blondin and Michel Letourneur introduce us to this week’s Impact edition. After debating whether it is pronounced “Impact” or “Impac”, they hype the Destination X PPV. A wrestler named Apollo will be making his debut. Marc wants to wish Maman Blondin a happy 84th birthday.

Abyss & Raven vs Cassidy Riley & Mikey Batts: Riley still has his fingers taped after having them broken by Raven a few weeks ago. It’s Abyss and Batts. Abyss is in control by throwing Mikey in the air. Raven tags himself in. Raven gets in 3 Russian leg sweeps: 2 of them in the inside, one of them on the railing. After getting a knee lift, Abyss tags himself in. Riley gets tagged and tries to beat on both Abyss & Raven. Raven stops that with a dropkick. Batts flies, but Abyss catches him and gives a huge press slam all the way to floor. Black hole Slam on Riley gets Abyss the trrrrrrrrois. Jeff Hardy comes on the TNA-tron to provoke Abyss into going after him.

Commercials

Jeff Jarrett shows up in the ring with Mike Tenay. He takes the mic and says the usual: he’s great, planet Jarrett, Slapnut, etc. Also, Dusty is trying to screw him out of the title. After more talking, DDP shows up from the audience. DDP uses Y2J’s lame “shut the hell up” line. After Jarrett tries to talk, DDP says it again. Then, when JJ tries to talk a third time, the audience does it without DDP. That was pretty cool. If you think JJ should shut up, give him a hell y…, uh, I mean give him an “it’s time!” The only reason DDP came to TNA was to win the World title. He was out for 2 and a half years and maybe it was because of those guitar shots. He lost millions of dollars (announcers: “come on!”). At DX, JJ will feel the BANG!

Commercials

Christopher Daniels vs Chris Sabin: AJ Styles is on commentary. Daniels starts off the attack with aggession: punches, headbutts, a bodyslam and an elbow drop. They get deux. Daniels going for a tilta-world, no, Sabin with punches, now Daniels with punches, back&forth and Daniels gets a clothesline. Daniels gets Kanyon/UT’s move for deux. A resthold. An atomic drop and a few kicks gets another deux. Whip, reverse, duck, Daniels going for a springboard moonsault, but Sabin dropkicks him in mid-air. Sabin comes back with a chop, a hurrincarana, an atomic drop and an enziguri for deux. Sabin going for the tornado DDT, no, boot to the face by Daniels, clothesline. Daniels misses a moonsault and Sabin gets a cradle for deux. Kick to the stomach, going for the Cradle Shock, but Daniels holds on to the referee. Daniels with butterfly DDT for un, deux, trrrrrrrrrrois.

The announcers mention that the other three participants in the Utlimate X match are Daniels, Elix Skipper and Ron Killings. Poor Michael.

Commercials

Backstage, The Outlaw and Konnan have a confrontation. They both agree to hate each other and almost go at it, when Killing and James separate them. Konnan asks James what were they talking about last week. James’ response: “old times, just old times”.

The Outlaw vs Sonny Siaki: Lockup, The Outlaw with a punch. Whip, duck, duck, drop toe hold by Siaki. An armdrag and hiptoss later, Outlaw gets a rake. The move that he used in WWE is made. The one where he gives a sleeper and then throws the opponent in the air. That gets un. Outlaw on the attack. Half hour suplex. Going for something, but Siaki gives him Edge’s move on his knee. Siaki is in control with punches, chops, a dropkick and a couple of clotheslines. Outlaw comes back with the Fameasser for the trrrrrrrrois.

Commercials

JF Kelly talks about the independent shows in Quebec, with Marc Blondin helping him.

In Dusty’s office, wee see Traci, Trinity, AMW and Dustin Rhodes. Team Canada show up and ask for a fight. Well, you don’t see that everyday.

Disciples of Destruction (w. Traci) vs Lex Lovett & Buck Quartermain: Buck and Lex attack DOD right away. They come back with a neckbreaker. DOD are in total control and win it the H-Bomb. Trinity’s Phi Delta Slam come to attack and we got ourselves a brawl.

Commercials

In the office, Kevin Nash and Dusty talk about the old days. Nash proposes a taped-fist first blood match. The Outlaw shows up with his lawyer and threatens to sue. Dusty lets them know of the stipulation. Outlaw and Nash are face to face and start saying Shakespear like quotes (“don’t mistake fear for hate”).

David Young (w. Candido & Naturals) vs Shark Boy: David starts it off whip, head down and Shark drops him on his knee. Dropkick and a 10-count punch stopped at 3. Big boot and neckbreaker by Young for deux. Candido holds Shark Boy, but Young misses and his Chris. Shark with a neckbreaker, but the referee is distracted. Baseball slide to one the Naturals. Bulldog on Young gets deux. Shark going for a reverse DDT, but Candido holds his leg. Shark jumps into a spinebuster from Young for trrrrrrrrois! Young finally won a match.

Back in the RDS studio, the announcers say they just got e-mails asking them where to buy a book about independent wrestling in Quebec. They both take their picks on whose going to win on a couple matches at Destination X.

Monty Brown vs Tryton (Blondin picks Brown)
AJ Styles vs Christopher Daniels vs Elix Skipper vs Ron Killing (Blondin: Styles, Letourneur: Daniels)

Apolo vs Lance Hoyt: Apolo and Hoyt are face to face and after a few shoulder blocks, Apolo gets a clothesline. A couple of punches, whip, Kash holds his leg and Hoyt gets a clothesline for deux. Sideslam for deux. More beatings, more covers. Kash gets involved. Hoyt gets a Nash choke. Whip, corner clothesline. Apolo is fighting back, but Hoyt stops that with an axe handle and a deux count. Chops by Hoyt don’t affect Apolo and now, Apolo has chops of his own. Two clotheslines and a Kanyon/UT like move for deux. Whip, reverse, Kash hits Apolo, but gets hit in return. Apolo with a stunner for trrrrrrois. The lights go out and Monty (who was on commentary) waits for him in the aisle. But guess what, he is in the ring. Was Apolo playing Tryton? And that, I guess, is the end of that.

Destination X card for tonight:

Jeff Jarrett vs DDP
Kevin Nash vs The Outlaw (taped-fist, first blood)
Ultimate X: AJ Styles vs Christopher Daniels vs Elix Skipper vs Ron Killing
Monty Brown vs Tryton
Dustin Rhodes vs Raven (bullrope match)
Abyss vs Jeff Hardy (falls count anywhere)
Trinity’s team vs Traci’s team (winner gets to be Dusty’s girl. That’s kind of sick)

A la prochaine!

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