WWE Sunday Night Heat Report 13/3/05

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WWE Sunday Night Heat Report

Val Venis Vs Gene Snitsky ~ Joined in progress…Snitsky reverses an irish whip and lands a back breaker on Venis. Stomps and hits a mean looking suplex and a two count. Val pounds back but gets hit with a shoulderblock. Straight arm takes Venis down. Snitsky applies a bearhug. Venis powers out but Snitsky rams him into the turnbuckle. Val chops him down, but Snitsky hits a knee to the abdomen. Val reverses an irish whip and gets a sunset flip, doesn’t work, Snitsky picks him up by the throat and tosses Val to the corner. Two count reversal by Val. Snitsky get the boot to the face, and hits the pump handle slam for three

Winner: Gene Snitsky

Later tonight, Simon Dean & Maven take on Tajiri and Regal, as well as Robert Conway Vs Rhyno.

Commercials.

Rob Conway Vs Rhyno ~ Grenier tries the national anthem, but gets interrupted by a running, angry Rhyno. Lockup, armbar by conway, reversed, twists the arm, but Conway gets a punch to the face. Conway lands a few more, hits an irish whip, reversed and a clothesline to Conway. Powerslam to Conway. Legdrop and a two count. Irish whip to the corner and a back body drop to Conway. Gore attempt, tripped by Grenier, and Robert tosses him out. Grenier slams Rhyno into the railing. Grenier tries to hit him with the flag, but the ref sees it and ejects Grenier from ringside. Rhyno pounds back to Conway, reversed to a back elbow and a two count to Rhyno. Chinlock. “Rhyno sucks” called loudly by Conway, while he lets go and applies a reverse chinlock. “USA” Chant. Rhyno powers out and they do the slug-each-other-thing. Clothesline attempt reversed to a hip toss by Rhyno. Shoulder tackle to Conway. Another. Another. And One in the corner. Belly to belly suplex to Conway. Irish whip to the corner, Rhyno charges and misses, Conway rolls Rhyno up and gets the surprise three count.

Winner: Robert Conway.

Up Next, Christy Hemme calls out Trish Stratus last week on Raw.

Commercials.

WWE Rewind; Trish has a problem with ‘wwe champ’ being on the playboy cover, and kicks Christy in the head for the typo.

Last Monday, Christy called Trish out and challenged her for the women’s title at wrestlemania. Right. Trish rightfully laughs at her face, giving an awesome little heel promo about it. Christy responds by saying that someone has been training her to wrestle, and that person is Lita, the worst female wrestler on their roster. This is going to be one of those matches I hope is a total squash. Like, one of those brutal squashes where the face is banged up so bad that they’ll go away and dance in the cages of the old TNA stage.

Speaking of people who should be beaten down until they go away, Chris Masters makes his debut on Heat next.

Commercials.

I hate that intro, but anyways, Chris Masters Vs Caprice Coleman ~ they’re still milking the polish hammer shot to Steven Richards. I hope that ends up being a feud where Steven brings back Raven and breaks Masters’ fingers. Masters picks up the mic. “In case you haven’t noticed by now, the Masterpiece is cosmetically perfect. But he’s not just built for show, he’s built to destroy. Hey, I’ll take anyone in the back, put them in the full neslon, which I like to call, ‘the master lock’ and choke them out. And if you don’t believe me, ask Steven Richards, who is sitting at home after reconstructive surgery last week. And it’s about to get a lot worse right now.” Yeah, like he’s gonna get us to stop calling it a full nelson. They lockup, and Chris powers him down and drops a leg and an elbow. Powerslam into a knee. Masters throws Caprice into the corner, poses, and Caprice hits a weak dropkick. Irish whip, leap frog attempt blocked into a turnbuckle drop and a polish hammer. Caprice gets to his knees as Masters waits and applies the full nelson and it’s all over.

Winner: Chris Masters.

Up Next, Ric Flair VS Batista from Raw.

Commercials.

Wrestlemania Recall – Shawn Michaels falling from the rafters. Okay, they’re repeating them now, and I still haven’t seen anything from any show after wrestlemania 12.

Last week on Raw, Batista fought Ric Flair. Beat him pretty soundly, too. Afterwards, HHH tried to get him with the sledgehammer, but Batista grabbed it off him and snapped the damn thing in two. This is probably the video they’re going to show tomorrow night at the top of the show.

Commercials.

Simon Dean & Maven VS Tajiri & Regal ~ Where have all the tag teams gone? Better question, where did all the stables go? You know what would be awesome? If after Wrestlemania HHH got about a dozen people to join evolution and tear the house down. Anyways, Maven is chugging down Simon system, which seems appropriate somehow. Lockup to Maven and Regal, irish whip and a 1 count to Maven. Lockup again and an armbar and a tag to Tajiri. Armbar to Maven, reversed and a few shots to Maven’s back. Tajiri gets some kicks in, irish whip and an enziguri kick to Maven and a two count. Irish whip and Simon kicks Tajiri, which allows Maven to get a bit of offensive for a second. Tajiri reverses to a tarauntual, but Simon breaks it up and Maven gets a two count. Maven tags Simon up, and Simon gets a rollup for two. Front facelock to Tajiri. Tajiri powers outand gets the springboard elbow. Maven comes in to prevent the tag, but Tajiri kicks out and gets the hot tag to Regel. Back body drop to Maven, powerslam to Simone and a two count. Tajiri kicks Maven out, and Regal gets that harsh looking knee to the head and gets the three.

Winner: Regal & Tajiri.

Tomorrow night on Raw; Benoit Vs HHH, and Christian & Tomko VS Kane.

K Sawyer Paul is the author of This is Sports Entertainment: The Secret Diary of Vince McMahon, co-editor of Fair to Flair, and curator at Aggressive Art.