The SmarK Rant for TNA Against All Odds 2005

The SmarK Rant for TNA Against All Odds 2005

– Well, obviously I’m a bit behind with the TNA shows, but that’s married life for you.

– Live from Orlando, FL

– Your hosts are Mike Tenay & Don West.

– Opening match: Petey Williams v. Elix Skipper. They take it to the mat to start and work off a headlock, but it’s a stalemate. Williams takes him down again by the leg and Skipper dropkicks him out of the ring, however. Back in and they lockup again and Williams tries to walk up the ropes, so Skipper armdrags him down and takes him down for a kick to the back. Petey tosses him, however, and D’Amore gets a cheapshot in. Did Skipper turn face or something? Petey slingshots out with a rana on the floor, and back in that gets two. Some distraction from D’Amore allows Williams to stomp on Skipper’s crotch in the corner, and a suplex series gets two. Williams tries a missile dropkick, but Skipper dodges with the Matrix move, so Williams goes up, which allows Skipper to bring him down with a butterfly suplex. Skipper makes the comeback with a spinkick and a reverse suplex onto the top rope, and a guillotine legdrop for two. Williams comes back with a legsweep for two. Skipper sets him up on the top rope, but can’t get the ropewalk rana. Petey hits him with a tornado DDT and tries the Canadian Destroyer, but Skipper blocks it and they stumble through a pinfall reversal sequence. Someone’s really off tonight. Skipper whiffs on another rana attempt and Petey tries the Destroyer again, but Skipper counters with an Emerald Fusion (Dreamer Driver) for the pin at 7:57. Major disappointment, as there didn’t seem to be much in the way of story to the match. **1/4

– BG James & Jeff Hammond v. Michael Shane & Kazarian. Hammond is apparently a race car driver of some sort. An old one. Given that NASCAR is about as far out of my expertise and interest as you can get, I’m not exactly thrilled about this guest spot. James and Hammond work Shane’s arm over to start, and James boots the heels down and drops the boogie woogie knee for two on Shane. James turns his back and gets dropkicked out, however, and Kazarian hits him with a crazy hands-free dive. Back in, Kazarian hits him with a corner clothesline and a pump kick, and Shane & Kazarian get a double-team neckbreaker for two. James comes back with a clothesline on both and makes the hot tag to Hammond, which draws boos from the smart crowd. Hammond spears Kazarian in the corner but gets caught by Shane. The heels try the double-team, but Hammond moves and Shane kicks Kazarian. This is embarrassing. Speaking of embarrassing, Hammond “drives” around the ring and drops a bad looking elbow on Kazarian for the pin at 5:09. I don’t blame Frankie for getting the f*ck out of there after that. Total embarrassment to the business. 1/2*

– Dustin Rhodes v. Raven. Slugfest to start is won by Raven, so Dustin takes him down and Raven bails. Back in, Dustin boots him down and chokes away in the corner. Raven trips him to come back and clotheslines him down, then works on the leg a bit. Kneecrusher follows and Raven goes to a stepover toehold, but Dustin kicks free, so Raven takes him down with an anklelock. It kind of makes sense that Raven as a character would be into submission wrestling and I’m surprised he didn’t go in that direction before now. Dustin casually stands up to escape the move and fights Raven into the corner, then comes back with an atomic drop and slugs away in the corner. Both go for a bulldog, but Dustin gets a lariat out of the corner. He goes up and gets crotched by Raven as a result, but he fights him off and comes down anyway. Raven gets a foot up, however. I hate that spot. Raven tries the DDT, but Dustin counters with a superkick that misses by three feet, but gets two anyway. This is a disaster. Raven goes back to the anklelock, but Dustin pushes him out of the ring this time. Back in, Raven shoulderblocks him down and goes back to the anklelock, but Dustin reverses to his own. Uh, yeah. Raven cradles for the pin at 8:20. Slow, dull and heatless. 3/4*

– NWA World tag titles: America’s Most Wanted v. Kid Kash & Lance Hoyt. I thought Kash’s guy was named Dallas? Kash locks up with Storm to start and they fight over a wristlock. Storm gets a hiptoss and fights of Kash’s gymnastics, and it’s a stalemate. Hoyt comes in and gets into a shoving match with Harris, and it’s a slugfest. Hoyt pounds him down and brings Kash in, and AMW pounces on him with a double-team, and then use Hoyt as a battering ram to knock Kash out of the ring. Storm hits the heels with a plancha, but Hoyt clotheslines him as a result. Back in, Kash gets two. Hoyt suplexes Kash onto Storm and gets two. Kash switches in and grabs a chinlock on Storm, then moonsaults him for two. Hoyt does an awkward double choke into a powerbomb for two, and Kash gets two off an illegal tag. Storm fights back, but gets DDTd by Kash, and he goes up again. Frog splash hits knee, however, and it’s a double KO after Storm makes an ill-advised comeback attempt instead of just tagging. Hot tag Harris, though, and he takes Hoyt down with a lariat and a bulldog, then hits Kash with a spinebuster. Delayed suplex on Hoyt follows, but Kash springs in with a rana. Storm gives him a helicopter slam, however, to get rid of him, and goes after Hoyt. They fight on the top and Hoyt gets a top rope sideslam for two. Storm comes back with a rana, however, and Harris drops a flying elbow for two. Kash brings the belts into the ring and lays out Storm for two. Nice near fall. The heels look to finish Storm with a double-team, but Harris spears Kash and superkicks Hoyt, then handcuffs Kash to the ropes to get rid of him. And with that taken care of, the Death Sentence finishes Hoyt at 12:16. Cookie cutter tag match with a hot finish that kind of fell apart at the end. Still, AMW is good for *** even on a bad day, so there ya go. ***

– Jeff Hardy v. Abyss. I think it’s telling that the GIRLS in the front row are dressed like Hardy. Speaking of Jeff, the hankie is a white one, so he loves to masturbate. Abyss attacks to start, so Jeff legdrops him low and throws some chairs into the ring. Everything metal is legal here, FYI. Abyss bails to escape the inevitable highspot, but Jeff follows with a dive off the chair. They brawl outside for a bit, but Abyss prevents another dive and then catches him with a press slam attempt on the apron. Jeff fights him off and hits him with a chair. Abyss gives it right back, although Jeff looks like more of a wuss taking one. They head outside again and fight over a ladder, but Abyss opts for tables instead, stacking a bunch of them in ridiculously contrived manner. Back into the ring, Abyss tries a Mike Awesome style powerbomb through the tables, but Jeff fights out with a dropkick out of the corner. They fight over the ladder and Jeff dropkicks a chair into Abyss’s face and then brings a couple of ladders into the ring. He sets them up in a catapult as I start to wonder if we’re playing Mouse Trap or something, and he stomps on one end to hit Abyss in the face with the other. That seems like a lot of trouble for not a lot of applied force. Jeff charges at Abyss on the apron, and we finally get a nice, SPONTANEOUS, spot, as Jeff gets suplexed smoothly into a pair of tables. That’s more like it. Jeff grabs a chair in desperation and fights him off, and they brawl up the ramp. Abyss puts a table up by the entrance way, but Jeff gives him a Twist of Fate into the table. Abyss seems unable to figure out how to sell that one, so he lays on the table while Jeff climbs up the set and does a weak flip dive onto Abyss, through the table. This is like something from an indy promotion. This was all done, and done better, 10 years ago in ECW and even in watered down form by Hardy himself in WWE after that. Jeff gets another ladder and sets it up in the ring, because there’s envelopes hanging over the ring. The actual winning conditions weren’t even made clear until now. He grabs one of them, but it’s empty, so the other one has a contract with Jeff Jarrett in it. Back up the ladder for the other one, but Abyss pulls him down as this thing drags on way too long. And finally Jeff pays off that stupid pile of tables, as Abyss whips him over the top and through the tables. Abyss climbs and gets the other envelope to win at 15:44. Total car crash, but at least Hardy was hitting most of his spots tonight. **3/4

– Eric Young & Bobby Roode v. DDP & Monty Brown. Young starts with Brown and tries working the arm, but gets nowhere. Brown armdrags him down and clotheslines him, and Roode pulls his partner out to slow things down. Brown drags him back in and the faces double-team him, so Young bails again and lets Roode try. DDP works the arm over and gets the discus clothesline, and it’s back to Monty for another double-team clothesline. Snap suplex gets two. DDP comes back in with a neckbreaker for two. Young gets a cheapshot from the apron to turn the tide, however, and DDP is face in peril. Young and Roode switch off for some beatings until Page fights them off, but Roode takes him down again and keeps going. Page collides with him, however, and falls on his crotch with a headbutt, and that allows the hot tag to Monty Brown. Backdrop and blockbuster slam for Young, but Roode lays him out with the flag and the beatdown is on. Roode suplexes him into a Young elbow for two. Tag back to DDP, who cleans house on the hosers and slugs away on Young. Team Canada double-teams him again and it’s BONZO GONZO, but DDP & Brown do an old-school dosey-do and prevent a collision. Devine gets involved and gets clobbered and DDP dumps Young, leaving Roode in no man’s land. Pounce puts Roode into another zip code, and DDP finishes Young with the Diamond Cutter at 9:44. I have no beef with this. **1/2

– NWA X title: AJ Styles v. Christopher Daniels. This is an Iron Man match, albeit a 30 minute one. They fight over a takedown to start and Styles ends up with a facelock. They turn that into a battle over a wristlock and Daniels gets a rollup for two. Styles gets another one for two. Daniels ends that rally with a clothesline and goes to the headlock, but AJ snaps off a dropkick that sends Daniels to the floor, and then follows with a rana from the apron. They slug it out on the floor and head back into the ring, where AJ grabs an armbar and they take it to the mat. Daniels counters with a headscissors, but AJ springs up and goes back to the arm again. He blocks a rollup from Daniels and gets some kicks for two, and one to the back for two. Right back to the arm again as he keeps Daniels on the mat, forcing him to fight out. He casually hits Daniels with a high kick to the shoulder and puts him on the floor, then baseball slides the shoulder to further the damage. He teases a springboard tope, then does it anyway. Back in, he taunts Daniels further, but gets knocked off the apron as a result and eats railing. Back in, Daniels works him over in the corner, focusing on the ribs now. Some nice knees to the ribs and a running one put AJ down, and he drops an elbow for two. Daniels runs him into the corner and suplexes him on the ribs, then spears him down again. Moonsault gets two. AJ fights back with a clothesline and a spinkick, and the springboard into the DDT gets two. Suplex into a standing neckbreaker gets two. That’s pretty cool. They trade forearms and AJ takes him down with a backdrop suplex, and they head up to the top. They slug it out and Daniels goes down, but AJ’s awesome 450 splash hits knees. Whoa. Angel’s Wings puts Chris up 1-0. He keeps going with a gutbuster and drops an elbow, then gives him a double-knee to the ribs and gets two. AJ fights back with a backdrop, but gets caught with an abdominal stretch while trying a hiptoss. Oh, that’s really nice. Daniels pounds on the ribs until AJ hiptosses out, but walks into a stungun that gets two for Daniels. Suplex onto the knee gets two. AJ comes back with a handspring elbow and makes the comeback with 20:00 gone, and he gets his own suplex onto the knee for two. Flying forearm gets two. Daniels hits him with his own springboard DDT, and gets two. Blue Thunder Bomb gets two for Daniels. He tries a suplex, but AJ powers him back into the neckbreaker attempt, but Daniels fights out. AJ hits him with the Pele kick out of nowhere and both are down. AJ starts firing away with forearms, but walks into a samoan drop and Daniels goes up and misses the moonsault. So now AJ starts with german suplexes, but Daniels fights that off, so AJ gives HIM the Angel’s Wings and gets two. Ooooooh. AJ goes for the finish, but Daniels powers him into the corner to counter and tries something, which AJ reverses to a rollup for the pin with 5:00 left. So it’s 1-1. Daniels boots him out of the ring and grabs the X belt, then rams AJ into the post. Nice shot there. AJ does an admirable bladejob, as Daniels drags the bloody Styles back into the ring and Don West works “discombobulated” into a sentence for the first time in YEARS. You just don’t hear that one anymore. Daniels pounds away on the cut and drops a knee on it with time running down. Nice brutal shots in the corner there. Running lariat gets two. AJ pulls himself up, so Daniels beats the hell out of him and gets two. Another try at the Wings is blocked by the dead weight of AJ Styles, but he fights back again. Daniels takes him down with the awesome Koji Clutch with time running out, but AJ hangs on until time expires. So it’s a draw at 30:00. Well, that’s pretty cheap. Daniels wants sudden death, so we’re back on again. Daniels keeps pounding the cut and gets an inverted DDT for two. He brings AJ into the corner and they fight on the top, but AJ counters a rana attempt and follows with his own, then rolls into the Styles Clash to finish at 1:24. Don’t like that finish — they should have just booked AJ to win the match instead of the wussy draw / sudden death thing to protect Daniels. Still, great match. ****1/4

– NWA World title: Jeff Jarrett v. Kevin Nash. Nash is the babyface now, I guess? Jarrett is unable to use the guitar here. Nash slugs away to start and elbows Jarrett down, then uses the POWER OF THE KNEE in the corner and hiptosses Jarrett out. More knees in the corner and the Stacy Keibler choke, but Jarrett goes for the bad knees. Jarrett works him over in the corner, but Nash comes back with a corner clothesline and dumps him. Nash chases him down, moving about fast as he ever does, and drops JJJ on the announce table with Snake Eyes. Back in, Jarrett catches him coming in and slugs him down, but Nash tosses him. Don notes that after 14 surgeries, perhaps Nash’s knees aren’t as good as they once were. Ya THINK? They brawl into the crowd and backstage, which I have to say isn’t the worst idea in the world considering Nash’s limitations as a worker. Nash sends him into the catering table and pounds him down, then gives him a chairshot and chokes him with it. They fight back through the crowd and Nash wants a powerbomb on the floor, but Jarrett goes low to counter. Jarrett goes under the ring and finds … a cello? Well, that’s sure playing semantics. He rams it into Nash’s knee and goes to work on that, then rams the cello case into the knee. He does some of the usual leg stuff and it’s figure-four time. Nash makes the ropes, however. Jarrett goes back to the leg again, but Nash smothers him down and uses his leg to knock Jarrett out. Jarrett tries goes after him again, but Nash gets the big boot and sideslam for two. Snake Eyes into two of the corners, but Jarrett counters and clips the knee again. He grabs the remains of the cello, but Nash goes low and gets the dreaded string instrument himself. He opts for a powerbomb instead, but the ref gets bumped and doesn’t see the fall. This allows The Man Formerly Known As Billy Gunn to run in and lay Nash out, and Jarrett gets two. And then Sean Waltman comes in to add a broncobuster and the X-Factor to Jarrett. It’s hard to take him seriously after getting owned by Peter Brady. So Nash gets two off all that. TAFKA Gunn comes back in, but BG James stops him, and Jarrett gets the belt for the knockout shot on Nash, but that only gets two. OK, it’s getting silly, time to wrap it up. Stroke gets two. We get the point, enough already. Jarrett goes up and lands in chokeslam position, but the ref gets bumped again and another Stroke finishes at 19:44. This was like Attitude Reject Theater, but at least it ended up as a passable match thanks to the ADD booking. **1/2

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