Waddup everybody? I’m Scott Sumner, bringing you week number 3 of TN-Analysis. I only got one piece of email last week, so I’m gonna add some very interesting things to this weeks column. Instead of filling it with just a bunch of TNA opinions, I’m gonna update you people about myself, because I know that you all care.
HA! I’m kidding, I know that nobody gives half a shit what I did last week, so why would I force you to tire your little fingers out by scrolling? That would be INSANE! Now…open your eyes and read…*cough* slaves *cough*.
TNA’s “Destination X” PPV was last Sunday, and boy was it mediocre. Now I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with mediocre. WWE’s Summerslam PPV was mediocre in my opinion, so it’s not horrible, but I was actually looking forward to it being awesome. I guess it has something to do with the fact that the name of this PPV is actually kind of cool, unlike “Against All Odds”, “Turning Point”, and “Victory Road”. Jeff Hardy getting put in the Black Hole Slam on a pile of thumbtacks is pretty awesome though, if only because I got to see the little bastard squirm in pain.
Christopher Daniels is the X-Division champ now. I like that…alot. See, I think AJ Styles is great and all, but he doesn’t need the X-Division title. I don’t think that there’s much room for him in the NWA Title scene either. Maybe they should team him up with somebody and have him back in the tag team ranks? His team with D’lo Brown a while back was awesome to me. I don’t know how they could pull this off, but putting AJ and Petey Williams together as a team seems like a good idea to me. They are both great workers, and I think they’d mesh together nicely. Not to mention that Williams isn’t doing much now, and AJ needs to be out of the X-Title scene. We could have AJ/Petey feuding with AMW, while Elix Skipper and Chris Daniels feud over the X-Title. That would gurantee two great matches on PPV. Now if they could only do something with that damn Jeff Jarrett…
Trytan sucks many balls. I want him to be beaten brutally…by Abyss. Because Abyss is a GOOD big scary man. What kind of name is Trytan anyway? It sounds horrible. It makes me think about a character from Transformers for some reason…and that makes me sad.
I want to see Raven manipulate some people again. Just round up a bunch of guys that aren’t doing much right now, and have Raven brainwash them so that he has little servants and stuff. Sort of like The Gathering, only with more people. After he has a new group, have them all kick the shit out of Dustin Rhodes repeatedly.
You know…as bad as I’d feel for Matt Hardy if he got fired from the WWE because his skank ass girlfriend cheated on him with another wrestler…it WOULD be great to see him on TNA. Because then he could vent about it all he wanted to, be exciting again, and maybe actually have a feud with his brother that goes somewhere. That would be great.
I’m seriously running out of opinions here…See, if you people would email me sometimes, I’d have things to talk about. So to end this column, I’m gonna leave you with some questions. Email your answers to me, and I’ll include you in next weeks column. Really..I don’t care if you’re right or not..I just want some mail! Ok here are the questions.
1. What ever happened to The Amazing Red?
2. Who was the first NWA-TNA heavyweight champion?
3. How f*cked up would it be if Dustin Rhodes did his “Goldust” character in TNA?