InsidePulse’s WWE Smackdown! Report 3.24.05

I’m back baby! Thanks to Matthew Michael for covering me last week, but no thanks to you selfish bastards who didn’t cover me the week before. Grrrr….

Taped from Memphis, TN
Hosts are Tazz & Michael Cole

Tazz is in the ring and introduces the Big Show. Show says that even if Ocki weighs more than him, he’s still BIGGER. Reigns comes out in a jeep, and is apparently an Ocki Bono(sp?) fan. Reigns says he’d going to prove that he should be the one to face Ocki, by turning over the jeep. He fails however, causing Show and thousands to laugh at him. That makes Reigns mad, but he just gets Chokeslammed. Show then proceeds to turn over the jeep himself.

BAckstage, Chavo and Eddie are having another argument. Chavo once again says that Rey is holding him down, and mentions that Eddie did all the work last week and Rey picked up the win.

Commercial break.

Orlando comes out with JBL for a match with Scotty. JBL gets in Scotty’s face, but gets superkicked in return. Bulldog, and JBL gets hit with the lamest finisher ever. JBL is so angry that he decides to wrestle himself.

WWE Champion JBL vs. Scotty 2 Hotty
Fallaway slam, and Clothesline From Hell ends it.

Commercial break.

Long comes out, and introduces Carlito Presley. He does some Elvis inpersionating, and that’s it. Wow.

Eddie meets up with Rey backstage, and brings up that they don’t have a match at Wrestlemania. Guerrero suggests they go one on one, and Rey thinks he’s joking. Eddie’s dead serious.

Holly and Haas come out to have their match, but the gong goes off, and Taker pokes his ugly ass face on the screen. He says that tonight there will be a sacrifice, and channels out. Well that was just rude.

Commercial break.

Hardcore Holly & Charlie Haas vs. Eddie Guerrero & Rey Mysterio(cs) – WWE Tag Team Championship match
Eddie and Holly start us off. Eddie gets a shoulderblock, but Holly gets a dropkick for 2. Haas come in, but so does Rey. Rey suckers Haas in to the 619 position, but an indoor storm happens! Look out!

Commercial break.

We’re back and apparently the weather has cleared up. Fans chant “619” as Haas puts on the surfboard. Rey gets a top rope senton, and tags in Eddie. He gets the triple verticals, but Haas rolls out of the way, and Holly gets a full nelson driver for 2. Haas of Pain, but Rey drops the dime on Charile. The faces get a double team 2nd rope hurricanrana, and Frog Splash retains the titles.

Afterwards, Rey asks Eddie if he were serious about his WM match. He accepts the challenge.

Commercial break.

HBK’s music hits, and Angle runs out dressed as him, and even does his whole routine. Sensational Sherry follows out, and I think I’m suppose to care. Kurt does his whole version of HBK’s opening theme, and I prefer his. HBK appears on the big screen, and I guess is LIVE in the WWE Studios. Who watches TV at the WWE Studios? We get a HBK package in counter to Kurt’s. Sherry enjoys the package, which is enough to cause her to get the Ankle Lock.

Commercial break.

Dawn Marie vs. Michelle McCool
Dawn gets a snapmare right out of the box, and undoes the 2nd turnbuckle. Michelle rips Dawn’s top off, and my interest just raised. Dawn starts to come back, when we get some interference. Dawn beats her head on the exposed turnbuckle, and gets a pin with the 2nd ropes.

Funaki asks Carlito where he’s going, and Carlito responds by saying that if Elvis were there right then, he would spit in his face. Funaki does his Elvis impersionation, only to get the Jeff Jarrett treatment.

Commercial break.

Booker T vs. Rene Dupree
What happened to these two? Booker gets a heelkick, but Dupree comes back with a scoop slam for 2. The gong interrupts the French Tickler, and that’s really rude. Taker shows up this time, and Chokeslams Dupree. Dupree eats steps, and comes back for 2nds. Tombstone on the steel steps puts Dupree out of his misery.

Commercial break.

It’s time for the Championship debate. Long reminds Cena of his restrictions, and really, it sounds like the rules should be in the 1st place. Long asks what makes JBL the more deserving champion. JBL says that he has never lost that title, which is actually true when you think about it. Cena gets the same question, and responds by insulting his limo. Apparently, it has a flat tire, and a bad paint job. JBL accuses Cena of doing all that, including spraying “JBL Sucks” on the side. JBL insults Cena’s economic upbringing, and the two argue over fashion. Cena just happens to have a pair of scissors on him, and cuts off JBL’s tie to try it on. Cena says he can prove JBL’s a liar, and asks him if he has a ten gallon hat. Cena proves him wrong by overflowing his hat with just one gallon of water. The two get real heated, and Cena spray paints his back yellow. He gives him a preview of what’s going to happen at WM by spraying FU on his chest.

~Rave

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