WWE Bottomline Report 26/3/05


WWE Bottomline Report 3-26-05

Last Monday, HHH made the match between Kane and Batista, and made it a lumberjack match, where the lumberjack match will be chosen by HHH, why don’t you know?

Mark Loyd says Hi. Last Monday, Shawn Michaels took Robert Conway on one on one at the top of the show. Irish whip and a forearm shot by Michaels. Shawn takes the offensive, Irish whip and a big back body drop. He takes out Grenier from the apron. Bodyslam to Conway. Shawn blows his nose on the Quebec flag! Flying elbow drop on Conway. Michaels tunes up the band and hits the Sweet Chin Music for the pin!

We then get a video of Kurt Angle being really, really good at everything he does. It’s really well done, as they all seem to be. Up next, a six person mixed tag match. Commercials

This weeks Stone Cold Stunner is from, surprise, 1998, when Austin Attacked Vince in the hospital bed.

Last week, it was Regal, Tajiri and Christy, VS Molly, Simon and Maven – Christy gets some lame ass kicks in on Molly. Molly fights back with an Irish whip and a take down. Christy hits a sunset flip though for a two count. This causes a 6 pier schmoz. Molly hits a hard slam, goes up top, but misses the molly go round. Christy hits the twist of fate for the three count. Trish looks pissed and/or worried.

Up next, HHH growls.

ORANGE MARK LOYD tries to be cool, wanting to be in the “Are you talking to me” video. Jesus.

Last week, HHH sits down and talks about adding Christ Benoit to the name of people that have fallen before him. “Let me tell you how to make a good decision. You have a guy face someobody like the Big Red Machine, Kane. Right here tionight, it will be Kane and Batista one on one, but not just any match, no, that’s where the decisions come in, you see. I made another decision, and that will be a Lumber Jack Match.” He then goes on to do a pretty good promo about anger issues, actually. He’s over his issues, now, and that he’s cool. It’s still weird to see him just sit there with the spotlight.

Still to come, said lumber jack match.


ORANGE MARK LOYD is on top of a ladder. Jesus. He’s talking about, surprise, the ladder match. Last week on Raw, as Jericho and Sheldon took on Edge and Christian. Edge and Christian still weren’t seeing eye to eye. Sheldon beats down on Edge, but also throws down Christian. Edge gets the spear, but it’s blocked by a kick to the shin, Christian nails Sheldon with the belt,. SPEAR. Three count! Where the hell was Jericho? I didn’t see him at all. Oh, there he is, getting beaten down. But Benoit comes to save, knocking all three guys out. German suplex to Edge! To Christian. Chops to Edge. Tomko with the ladder on Benoit! Man, that looked like it hurt a wholle hell of a lot.

Later than night, Tomko took on Benoit, now with tape all over his shoulder. Benoit reverses…something, into a crippler crossface, and Tomko taps. I saw the match last Monday and it was a pretty definitive squash.


Orton comes down with Stacey Keibler, and has a new Orton T-shirt, with UNDERTAKER already checked off. Good to know he’s got his heel merch back. Orton plans on Taker being a victim on his list, and a promo video plays. What’s with the constant STARBURST ad on the bottom half of the screen the whole time? Anyways, Orton kisses Stacey to generate Boos (because how dare he, you know?) And then hits her with an RKO, generating more boos, (because , how dare he, you know?). Great little segment.

Commercials. Why are they showing us highlights of Hogan and Austin’s career? I mean, there’s subtle advertising for WWE24/7 there, but still, pretty well unneccesary.

Kane fought Batista. Big sideslam on Batista and goes up, but Batista powerslams him off. Charge into the other corner, Irish whip and a charge. Vertical Suplex and the crowd is going nuts. Another clothesline. Commercials. Back in and Viscera gets pummeled by Kane, and the rest of them beat down on Batista…and Coach. COACH is one of the best bad guys? Batista just gets up and clears house though. Batista then powerslams Coach. Batista hits a spinebusters. Kane hits a chokeslam on Batista and gets two. Batista hits the sp inebuster on Kane and HHH is freaking out. Demon Bomb on Kane and he gets the three.

This Monday, Shawn Michaels will take on Muhammad Hassan, and that’s the show. Sww you next week Orange Mark!

K Sawyer Paul is the author of This is Sports Entertainment: The Secret Diary of Vince McMahon, co-editor of Fair to Flair, and curator at Aggressive Art.