Riding Coattails: Who's The Tool Now?

“Paris Hilton would have been better.”
–Angie on Erin

So much for my prediction that Erin was going to be the next apprentice. I really thought she had what it took: charm, eloquence, assertiveness, drive, and mad veejay skills that would ultimately shove everyone else into taxi cabs and keep her in the suite. But alas, Erin let herself get intimidated by the power tools in the Home Depot task and essentially checked out. Frankly, I was quite surprised. Previous to this challenge, Erin had proved her versatility as a skilled negotiator, vegetable porn director, and boardroom powerhouse. However, I think that her hubris finally got in the way and Trump, sensing her growing cockiness, sent her packing. Either that, or her constant winking was making him uncomfortable.

In either event, I should have seen it coming. Trump has never proved himself to be anything other than a sexist friggin’ pig. Although he and Erin appeared to have an excellent rapport in the boardroom with their flirting and joking, it’s now clear that he never saw her as anything more than a fast-talking piece of ass. Sensing this, Erin played up her sexuality and threw a few crumbs of giddy girlishness into Trump’s lap in hopes of winning him over that way. With each boardroom encounter, she continued to test how far she could take her snide comments and it finally exploded in her face when she questioned the legitimacy of Trump’s reliance on George and Carolyn’s opinions.

But what is even more shocking than the fact that Erin got kicked out is that I agree with Trump’s choice. I cringed as she smugly ate her pizza and announced to Chris, Angie, and Stephanie that she knew nothing about Home Depot and had nothing to contribute to the task. And when she was marketing the mobile kitchen island workshop later in the show, I practically spit out my martini when she approached a few guys and said, “I think it’s really hot when you guys know how to [build things]. Sexy.” What was even worse was when Erin told a woman, “I felt really empowered after making one of these yesterday.” Listen, honey, assembling a set of shelves is neither a statement of male turgidity nor a display of incredible feminism. And if you believe for a second that those customers bought your verborrhea, then you’re only fooling yourself.

As are Angie and Chris if they still think they stand a chance of winning this. They’re totally dead meat. Angie walked a very fine line in the boardroom and there were a couple of points at which I thought she might get the axe. One was when Trump asked her who she wanted to send back up to the suite and she said, “Me?” Although I thought it was funny, the Donald and Carolyn were less than amused and I feared that she may have sealed her fate right then. Angie was also treading on thin ice when she failed to adequately justify her choice not to put Erin center stage in the building demonstration. While I can’t blame her for relegating Erin to the sidelines, I agree with Trumpo that Erin would have been the best presenter.

And Chris, yowza! Again, the issue of his tobacco chewing habit came up and I almost fell off the couch when he practically screamed, “I don’t need a splittoon!” I’m glad to hear it, Chris, since it would be rather difficult procuring an object that doesn’t even exist. And I’ll bet he makes good on his promise to stop dipping, as I think he’s gotten the message loud and clear that it would cost him a hire in the end. However, chew or no chew, that boy isn’t long for the game. He’s too explosive. He needs to attend some anger management sessions. But I’m thankful that he hadn’t had them before Erin was fired, as the look of rage and righteousness he had when Trump laid down the verdict was priceless.

As was Magna’s win this week. I was so proud of Craig for sticking to his guns about the trunk, which turned out to be a great idea. I was actually in Home Depot today and saw signs everywhere for The Apprentice build-a-box clinic next week. It’s often best to keep things simple and Craig realized that. I also loved watching Tana with the kids; she obviously shines in that motherly capacity. And Alex was a complete asset to the team because he could speak Spanish with the customers, allowing Magna to reach a wider audience. Magna is a very impressive group.

And I now feel more strongly than ever that Tana is going to sweep this whole thing. Week after week, she has delivered some of the strongest performances of the season. She’s likeable, down-to-earth, and has fantastic people skills. I will be very disappointed if she does not win, although only because it’s what she wants. Personally, I think that there are a lot of employers that are more worthy of having Tana on staff. I don’t really understand why she’d want to work for an a-hole like Trump.

Join our newsletter

never miss the latest news, reviews, live event coverage, audio podcasts, exclusive interviews and commentary for Movies, TV, Music, Sports, Comics, Video Games!