InsidePulse’s WWE Smackdown! Report 3.31.05

WrestleMania 21 will be a mere three days away when SmackDown! comes to Houston, Texas.

As announced last week, Akebono and Big Show will have an official weigh-in for their Sumo Match in Los Angeles. Both men are expected to tip the scales in a big way.

Meanwhile, will John Cena and JBL be able to control their emotions just days away from their showdown for the WWE Championship? Remember, Cena, unless provoked, can’t touch JBL or he forfeits his chance to compete for the WWE championship at WrestleMania.

And what else could be in store for Carlito? GM Theodore Long has already made him shovel snow, serve hot dogs and dress like Elvis.

Plus, Kurt Angle has one more week to continue to make a mockery of HBK’s career. Last week, he brought former

HBK manager Sensational Sherri to the ring. Sherri ended up in an ankle lock for her trouble as Angle continued to send a strong message to the Showstopper. He even showed up on RAW this past week.

What could the Olympic Champ have in store for his finale before the two Superstars square off on April 3?

But before we find out the answer to that question, please check out PK’s FINAL RAW Report. I like SD!, even though I come down on it hard sometimes, but RAW has always been my show. I don’t know what it is, but RAW is always my preference, even if their announcers do stink.

Taped from Houston, Texas
Hosts are Michael Cole and…Jerry Lawler. Tazz had a death in the family.

WWE Tag Team Champion Eddie Guerrero vs. Danny Basham
Eddie grabs a side headlock, and Lawler works back in the “Latino Heeeeaaaat.” Eddie gets an eye poke, but Danny gets a powerslam for 2. Some elbows for 2. Danny gets some right hands for 2. Danny missses a splash, and Eddie brings the clotheslines. Eddie gets the triple verticals, but Doug yanks Eddie out for some beatings. Rey comes out to help, but inadvertently hits Eddie, causing Danny to get a roll up win.

Video package of the “debate” last week.

Commercial break.

Backstage, JBL is talking to Long. John says he didn’t lose control last week, but if he did, Cena wouldn’t be going to Wrestlemania. JBL says that Long has it out for him to lose the title, and gaurantees to walk out the WWE Champion at ‘Mania.

Chavo Guerrero(c) vs a bunch of other people – Battle Royal for the WWE Cruiserwight Championship match
Chavo gets jumped and eliminated right out of the box. Funaki gets an enzuigiri on Spike, but gets eliminated to Nunzio. For whatever reason the fans like Scotty. Nunzio gets eliminated, and Spike gets a headbutt on London. Akio misses a clothesline, and Scotty gets a kick to the jaw on him. Backdrop to Kidman, and bulldog on Spike sets up the WORM. Kick to him eliminates him. Crowd is really into Scotty. Scotty lands on the apron, clotheslines Kidman, but Akio thrust kicks him out. London gets a 2nd rope moonsault on Akio. Kidman and Akio get a double elbow on London, but they still can’t eliminate him. Dropkick takes both heels out, and Akio gets eliminated. Kidman tries to throw London out, but London skins the cat, and headscissors Kidman out.

Backstage, Oki Bono’s fat ass arrives.

Commercial break.

Backstage, Long is getting some wood off the SD! Divas, when Carlito walks in. Carlito asks for Long to put him back in the ring tonight, as his arm is finally clear. Long hesitates a bit, but makes a match tonight against John Cena.

Meanwhile, Rey and Eddie catch up. Rey brings up the possibility of wrestling Doug Basham to get back to the twins.

Commercial break.

Luther Reigns vs. Booker T
Booker gets all pumped up with his woman beforhand. Booker gets the crowd behind him, and the two lockup. Booker gets an elbow, and starts to bring the chops. High kick, and Booker gets a sideslam, but crotches himself with another high kick. Ow. Reigns gets a clothesline for 2. Booker counters Reigns;s swinging neckbreaker witha vertical suplex. Booker gets a kick to the jaw, and a spinebuster sets up the spinaroonie. Scissors Kick and that’s it.

Backstage, Long runs into Bob Orton. Bob says that he wants to talk to the Undertaker. What an idiot. Long allows it.

Commercial break.

Bob Orton comes out to the ring. The fans start right off with the “Randy Sucks” chants. Bob calls out the Undertaker to listen to him. Does he watch wrestling? As Taker comes out, Cole brings up the Rock being a victim of the Legend Killer. What? Bob wants Taker to hear him out, and apologizes on behalf of his son slapping him. He goes on record to say he doesn’t like the frenchman, which is random, and asks Taker to do something which I can’t make out. I think be alive again. Taker says Orton will R.I.P. Bob even begs on his knees to have mercy on his son, but Randy comes out of nowhere and RKOs him. I actually didn’t see that coming.

Commercial break.

Doug Basham vs. WWE Tag Team Champion Rey Mysterio
Danny distracts Rey, allowing Doug to get the upperhand. Front suplex on the ropes gets 2 for Doug. Rey gets out of an abdominal stretch with a headscissors. 2nd rope moonsault gets 2 for Rey. Top rope senton gets 2. Rey jumps out of a back supklex, and sets up the 619. Rey goes to the top, but Eddie knocks the ropes when dealing with Danny, causing Rey to crotch himself, and Doug to get the win.

Commercial break.

Backstage, Josh is with Kurt Angle. Mathews brings up the fact that Kurt failed on RAW this past monday. Kurt shows Josh his strategy for Mania, first hand. Josh gets beat all the way into the ring, where he gets beat some more. Josh tries to fight back, but that just gets him an Angle Slam and an Ankle Lock. Kurt says that will be Shawn at Mania, and then introduces his video package.

Commercial break.

Time for the fat ass weigh in. Apparently, the dude’s name is Akebono, so not only is it one word, but I’ve also been misspelling it. Whatever. Anyways, Big Show comes in at 493, while Akebono comes in at 504. Show is apparently blown away by him being outwieghed, but says that he’s still bigger. Akebono responds that since Big let him do a sumo match at Mania, he wants to do a WWE style match tonight.

Commercial break.

Akebono vs. jobber
Akebono throws the dude around some, and stands over him to pin him. Okay.

Commercial break.

Carlito vs. John Cena
The two get into the corner, and Carlito demands a break. Cena makes Carlito eat tturnbuckle, but Carlito eventually comes back witrh a thumb to the eye. Cena comes back with a clothesline, shoulderblocks him, and pumps it up, setting up the…police coming out. Apparently, Cena’s in trouble for destroying JBL’s car. Can’t really argue there. JBL takes some cheap shots while the cops have him, and we go out.

~Rave

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