Inside Pulse WrestleMania XXI Roundtable

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From RAW:

World Heavyweight Championship
Champion HHH vs. Batista

Widro – I’d like to see a clean win and celebration.
Winner: Batista

Scott Keith – Obviously this is the money match on the show, and obviously Batista has to go over here because 20 years of tradition say so. Argue the merits of Big Dave as champion another time, because good or bad the time to pull the trigger is now, and if it bombs then deal with it some other time. If HHH is feeling generous and smart, it’ll hang around the ***1/2 mark and should be good enough to leave people satisfied. Whether HHH is motivated enough to carry someone like Batista in that kind of position is another thing entirely.
Winner: Batista.

Eric Szulczewski – Trip’s been cutting great promos for this one (although it’s nothing we haven’t seen before), but this one has to end hinky in order for Batista to keep his heat. Expect a lot of Flair interference, and just enough for Trip to hang on. This is one of those matches that Trip knows he has to sell for, and sell a lot. He’ll do it without any compunction.
Winner: Trip

PK – I’m hoping WWE lost faith in Batista as quick as I did when I saw that Lumberjack match.
Winner: HHH

Matthew Michael – This one isn’t a matter of who will win (’cause if DAVE doesn’t go over, I’ve pretty much given up on HHH) but how well the match plays out. I have faith in it, and the crowd will no doubt go home happy. Then it’s up to WWE what happens next. If Batista and Helmsley stay on the same roster, we’ll likely see a rematch at Backlash. If one is traded/drafted to SD, it’ll be interesting to see who Dave defends against first. Edge, perhaps, if he wins the ladder match? JBL, if they’re on the same roster? Should be interesting.
Winner: Dave Batista

Jed Shaffer – You can’t shine a turd, folks. Remember, I called it all by myself, when Batista starts bombing like Orton did, and you all start harping on him for not living up to the “potential” he has. As for this match, the marquee outside the arena should just read: “WRESTLEMANIA XXI: THE CORONATION OF BATISTA!!!” It ain’t gonna be pretty, but it’ll send ’em home happy. And isn’t that what counts?
Winner: Metrosexual Man!

Tal Aulbrook – They have done a good job not letting these guys wrestle each other and let the story build. Will the match be worth it, well if this show goes almost 4 hours, the crowd will be tired, so it will be hard to say. If HHH is motivated, there will be a chance. If he is not, look for it to be Y2J vs. HHH 2005.
Winner: Batista

Kurtis Osterlund – This really is a no-brainer.
Winner: DAVE!

Vin Tastic – This is pretty much a foregone conclusion, isn’t it?
Winner: Batista

David Brashear – This match could conceivably push Batista up to the next level, but it all depends on what Hunter’s going to pull to make himself look good. This match should not end with Flair interfering (unless he just tries and gets popped by Batista) or any sort of goofy scenario – DQ, countout, etc. The WWE needs a new guy, and the crowd’s ready to back him. This match needs to end with a clean win for Batista to get him off to a believable start.
Winner: Batista

Jeremy Lambert – I don’t care what else happens at WM but if Triple H still has the title on April 4th, then they have cheated the fans. Batista is very over on Raw and everyone is sick of HHH’s 20 minute world title promos (of course he will always have those) Batista is the Animal and at WM, HHH will be the meat.
Winner: The Mother F’N Animal

Thomas Kilduff – Well, I’m between a rock and a hard place. I don’t want to see HHH’s obsession with putting himself on top all the time, but there is not enough big heels on the roster to make Batista’s title reign a successful one. Chances are the belt will be coming back to HHH in a few months anyway, so screw it.
Winner: Big Dave

Chris Biscuiti – There is no way that Trips will job for a second straight Mania, especially since Batista has nowhere near the same credentials to be champ as Benoit did.
Winner: Triple H

Kevin G. Bufton – I’ve got to say, I’ve really enjoyed the build to this and I’m amazed at how much Batista has improved over the last 18 months in the business. Do I think he deserves to be champion – oh Hell yeah! Do I think he’ll BE champion…no. Sorry, but Raw has it’s own PPV next with Backlash and they’ll probably want to spike the buyrate for that with a rematch.
Winner: Batista (by DQ or Count Out – no title)

James Hatton – This is obviously the fans go home happy match of the night. If Dave loses, the terrorists win.
Winner: DAVE!

Iain Burnside – I wonder if this will become a yearly event now… Triple H loses the title at WrestleMania, spends a few months bitching about it, eventually wins it back, gets challenged by a popular contender out of nowhere, loses the title at WrestleMania, lather, rinse, repeat…
Winner: DAVE

Money in the Bank Ladder Match for World Title Shot
Chris Jericho vs. Edge vs. Christian vs. Chris Benoit vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane

Widro – Almost all my favorite guys, in one worthless match! Should be a great match.
Winner: Christian

Scott Keith – This one is the kind of time-filling “everyone gets a payday” match that doesn’t usually excite me in the build-up, but usually turns out well enough in the ring. The first four pretty much guarantee a quality outing, Benjamin’s a wild card in these things, and Kane neither adds nor subtracts because his whole purpose is going to be playing “Big guy who takes impressive punishment from 5 little guys” the whole match. All six are stuck on the mid-card treadmill anyway, so the actual winner is immaterial because they’re just job fodder for Batista down the road. So we’ll go with the only heel to have a chance.
Winner: Edge.

Eric Szulczewski – Frankly, if Edge doesn’t win it, I’ll be shocked considering the push they’ve given him lately. The real question here is when he’s going to cash in. I don’t see him turning face, which leaves Trip out as his challenger. But if Batista actually wins the title, it may be as soon as Raw on Monday. Definitely Match of the Night.
Winner: Edge

PK – As much as I think Christian should take it, my pick is a face, mainly because, more then likely, they will face HHH.
Winner: Jericho

Matthew Michael – Only one of two people will win this match: Shelton Benjamin or Edge. I just can’t see them pushing Edge any more after the whole off-screen drama, and feel like the best thing for the company would be to elevate the IC Belt by giving Shelton the win in “his first ever ladder match” after he’s been taking the job over the past few weeks … and letting Edge and Christian form a tag team for a little while to fix that division.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin

Jed Shaffer – Let’s run ’em down. Benji: IC Champ, not ready, either. Christian: Like that’ll happen. Jericho: Not if the entire main event died in a plane crash will they let him touch anything above IC. Benoit: They let him win at Mania last year; how greedy can you people be? Kane: He’ll get the annual Kane-World-Title push by June anyway, so why have him win here?
Winner: You think you know him

Tal Aulbrook – In my opinion this was the best idea for all these guys. The title shot brings more to the table and will make the match feel that more important. Throw in some of the best wrestlers the WWE has (yes even Kane as he is one the best big men in the company) and this match is going to steal the show. Believe it or not, my choice goes down to Christian and Benjamin because no one thinks they will be able to pull it off.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin (using his shot much later down the road)

Kurtis Osterlund – This one on the other hand, is a complete wild card. Just about anyone could win this one. I’m going to put my money down on Shelton Benjamin, since he’s the one person in the match with the most potential.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin

Vin Tastic – Tough to call.
Winner: Edge

David Brashear – Looking over that list of guys in the match, I’m hearing an old Sesame Street song in my head. You know, “One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn’t belong.” That said, if they can eliminate Kane quickly, this match could be really good. I don’t think it’ll be match of the night, but it’s got a lot of potential. If Jericho hadn’t said that he was looking to possibly leave when his contract runs out, I’d pick him. Let’s see who’s left – Batista’s a face, so that lets out Benoit and Shelton (who’s IC champ anyway). Between Christian and Edge, I’m going to go with the dark horse (and probably be wrong) and call Christian. Mainly because I’d love to see a good Christian – Jericho feud.
Winner: Christian

Jeremy Lambert – Honestly, it doesn’t matter who wins this match, it matters when they use their title shot. If they use it the next night on Raw than of course they won’t win but if they hold on to it, things could change. But I still have to make a pick so…
Winner: The guy who signed my Y2J Jersey

Thomas Kilduff – What do we do with six guys, a month before the biggest show of the year, who are relatively popular with the fans? Ah yes, stick them all in the same match, better yet, a ladder match, and we can add some shitty stipulation; which will be misused, and made into a bit of a joke by the IWC. Match should be good, but it will be very hard to make this match bad considering the talent involved (except Kane of course). Edge gets my nod; they need a heel for Batista to kill next PPV.
Winner: Cheats on his wife, behind one of his friends back! I’d have
gone for Trish personally.

Chris Biscuiti – I have a feeling that this is Shelton’s time to shine. A program with Shelton and Trips already has some history behind it, and I feel Trips could do for Shelton what Mick Foley did for him.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin

Kevin G. Bufton – This will either be a thoroughly phenomenal show-stealer or the sort of dodgy spotfest that you can see in any indy promotion across the country. Based on the talent involved, I’m going for the former. I really don’t know who to pick for this one. Y2J probably won’t get it, nor will Christian. Kane is an outside bet, on the grounds they might feed him to Batista but really, I think it’s a toss up between Edge, Benoit and Shelton. If Edge wins, he gets his shot immediately, against still champion Triple H, ditto with Benoit which might mean a Triple Threat at Backlash. I think Shelton might be more relaxed and say that he’ll wait till next year and a guaranteed ‘Mania main-event slot. Hmmm.
Winner: Chris Benoit

James Hatton – Jericho will get soooooo close. He always does. Y2J sits in the top tier, and will forever… just like Benoit. Benjamin and Christian still have that mid-card golden spot (that spot that moves you to World Champ on the long term track). This match is either about elevating someone to that main event tier solidly or just giving a reason for a face/face feud. I’m going to flip a coin and say Edge.
Winner: Edge

Iain Burnside – Credit where credit’s due, they’ve added a very interesting stipulation to further bolster what would otherwise be little more than a spotfest. There are a number of highly inventive ways they can play this; sadly they’ll probably just waste the winner on some throwaway PPV like Bad Blood instead… Ah well, I live in hope that they’ll save it for the long build and start giving a proper push to one of the most deserving young talents in the company.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin

Women’s Championship
Champion Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme (w/Lita)

Widro – Christie is terrible in the ring, even if she wins, she’ll probably drop the title again soon.
Winner: Trish

Scott Keith – I have no idea why they threw this clunker on here. Well, actually I do, but I like to pretend I don’t because it makes me feel less sad for everyone who got fired so Hemme could have a job. The build-up has been a joke, Hemme will be completely exposed in the worst possible climate for a debut singles match, and Lita has been so non-existent in her role as mentor that the only possible outcome that can make any logical sense is Lita turning on Hemme. I of course mean logical in the WWE Creative way. I’m just hoping it’s short.
Winner: Trish Stratus.

Eric Szulczewski – They have to strike and strike soon vis-a-vis Hemme’s appearance in Playboy. Of course, the Women’s Title is a joke anyway thanks to them letting go of almost all of the women wrestlers in favor of eye candy, so they can afford a Trish drop here. She’ll get the title back within two weeks, though.
Winner and New Champion: Christy Hemme

PK – Christy better show us something.
Winner: Christy

Matthew Michael – Only three titles are on the line, and I’m not convinced they’ll put the belt on Cena just yet, so we need a babyface victory here to balance things out. Trish will win it back the next night or at Backlash.
Winner: Christy Hemme

Jed Shaffer – And, for the millionth time, it is said: they fired Jazz and Gail for this?
Winner: The nekkid chick

Tal Aulbrook – Hemme will do much better than expected, but it still won’t be any good.
Winner: Trish

Kurtis Osterlund – Won’t be great, but I think it’ll be better than most are giving it the chance to be. So many people forget how bad Trish was when she first came around. I think Christy could be something given time. In the meantime, no way should they give her the belt in her first singles match.
Winner: still champion, Trish Stratus

Vin Tastic – It had BETTER be Trish!
Winner: Trish Stratus

David Brashear – Ugh. Trish is a good wrestler, but I’ve got my doubts about her being able to carry Christy to a match that would be classified as “watchable.” Considering that Christy came out on top in the arm wrestling fiasco on Monday, I foresee Trish keeping the belt here.
Winner: Trish Stratus

Jeremy Lambert – Christy won’t even show up, because she thinks WM is on April 4th. I’m serious she said that on the Howard Stern show. How can you win, if you don’t show up?
Winner: The Complete Diva

Thomas Kilduff – Oh good god, who cares about Hemme in a non sexual, wrestling sort of way? If Hemme goes over, you can pretty much kiss the Woman’s division goodbye for the next year. It would do us all a favour.
Winner: Hemme to kill the Woman’s title once and for all

Chris Biscuiti – Christy couldn’t hold a candle to Trish normally, but I could see her getting the win here, leading to an immediate rematch where Trish tortures Hemme somehow. Hopefully, this feud won’t be as torturous as the Trish-Jackie Gayda incident.
Winner: Christy Hemme via The Fake Orgasm

Kevin G. Bufton – Really – who gives a shit? I don’t care if Christy is hot or if she’s in Playboy, I just want to see an actual match here, but I forgot, all of the women’s division has been dropped to pay the inflated salaries of dodgy slappers like Christy and all the other diva search ‘winners’. This match will be a total carry job by Trish and it’s a good job she’s the best woman in the business, right now.
Winner: Trish Stratus, or there is no God.

James Hatton – Christie hasn’t been HORRENDOUS as one might expect an under-trained chick tossed into her first match at Wrestlemania would be. The crowd loves her, I love her, but I love Trish too. Can’t have too many good guys win titles… soooooo…
Winner: Trish

Iain Burnside – See the idiot walk, hear the idiot talk? How on earth can anybody possibly take her seriously? Fingers crossed we’ll see the idiot job…
Winner: Trish Stratus


From Smackdown:

WWE Championship
Champion JBL vs. John Cena

Widro – I think with them going with Batista above, they will go with JBL here. Remember that JBL is also a new character since last mania and a win here could cement HIM as a main eventer.
Winner: JBL

Scott Keith – This is a total mystery in a lot of ways. Do they really want to jettison the JBL experiment after committing to it for 8 months? Is Cena ready to carry things? The most effective build for the match thus far has been a movie parody, and neither guy is good enough to carry the other. Doesn’t look good on paper, and not having seen them interact that much in the ring, I don’t know how it’ll translate in the ring. Having said all that, I don’t see them switching both titles on the same show, as Cena-JBL will probably have to carry a buyrate by itself in April, so giving Cena the moral victory here and then doing a rematch will probably be their strategy.
Winner: JBL.

Eric Szulczewski – Absolutely pre-ordained. They’ve been planning this for months, allowing Cena to get his heat back and go into high gear. One of the major titles has to change hands, and it’s this one. The problem is that the match is going to be butt-ugly.
Winner and New Champion: John Cena

PK – Lost his title, got new theme music, getting the biggest pops then anyone else on the roster….ya, it’s gotta be Cena.
Winner: Cena

Matthew Michael – Cena should win the belt … but not just yet. I will be ‘rooting’ for him, but I have a feeling WWE’s thinking that it’s best to put the World Title on Batista, and allow JBL to retain, with an even more hungry Cena going on to beat Bradshaw at Judgment Day, a few weeks after his CD comes out.
Winner: JBL

Jed Shaffer – It won’t be pretty, that’s for sure. The build-up makes you think Cena’s a lock, and a win at Mania would properly anoint him as Smackdown’s Next Big Thing… but then again, H’s vs. Orton was a lock for Mania too, wasn’t it? The feud needs more heat, and a JBL retention gets you there.
Winner: The Poor Man’s Million Dollar Man

Tal Aulbrook – They have actually done a lot better than I thought they would have done for this feud. Cena has done his best work in awhile and keeping the belt on JBL looks pretty smart right now. Cena has to win for this feud to pay off.
Winner: Cena

Kurtis Osterlund – Despite what a lot of people are saying, I think it’s time to pull the trigger on Cena. He’s one of the most over in the company with the majority of fans (smart-marks not withstanding) and they’ve been building him for two years now. If he doesn’t get this, I think it will hurt his credibility in the long run.
Winner: New Champ, John Cena

Vin Tastic – Can’t imagine both heel champs losing on the same night.
Winner: JBL

David Brashear – All my feelings about the Raw title are echoed here. The crowd is not into JBL, and he’s had more than enough time to win them over. Time to pull the plug on this experiment and move onto something that might work.
Winner: John Cena

Jeremy Lambert – Lemme kick this freestyle: John Cena is in the Smackdown! Main Event/So you know this PPV, I gotta rent/JBL is a tired Champ/His wrestling ability is the equivalent to a geek at band camp/In this match, JBL will be down on his luck/On the mic he’s good, but in the ring he just sucks/Cena with the world title, nothin could be final/JBL will end up on the surreal life with Chyna.
Winner: Not my freestyle skills

Thomas Kilduff – They have invested too much time in the JBL push to pull the plug at the moment. And with Batista winning the main event, I doubt they would switch both major titles on one show. And Cena still cannot work properly.
Winner: JBL JBL JBL

Chris Biscuiti – Most predictable match of the night. If Cena doesn’t win here, I would be more shocked than Shane McMahon’s grapefruits after Kane used jumper cables to electrocute them.
Winner: Cena

Kevin G. Bufton – This is the match that is selling the SmackDown! side of things, but it doesn’t do much for me. I am the first to admit though that, in the build-up to this match, Cena has finally regained some of his old fire. JBL, too, has improved beyond all measure and has become a guy who – shockingly – actually has a torch to pass onto the challenger. I predict JBL selling every move from Cena like utter death, bleeding in the process and generally putting him over like only he can.
Winner: Cena

James Hatton – If everyone goes home happy, that means that Cena and Batista are in the ring at the end of the night like Benoit and Guerrero were last year. Except in THIS little fantasy, Dave rips off Cena’s head and tosses it into the second row. They give this one to JBL – Cena can feud with Orton next month for awhile.
Winner – JBL

Iain Burnside – All signs point to the Cabinet winning this one for their overlord, but I’m feeling strangely optimistic heading into this show that they will go through with the long-rumoured champion double-switch next month…
Winner: John Cena

Sumo Challenge
Big Show vs. Akebono

Widro – Ugh
Winner: Akebono

Scott Keith – I don’t know who this is supposed to be appealing to, but it ain’t me.
Winner: Who the hell cares?

Eric Szulczewski – There’s this whole “honor” thing going on here with Akebono. If he loses this match, the Japanese fans are going to be pissed after all the goodwill WWE received in Japan by throwing the tag title to Tajiri. TBS isn’t in trouble with a loss; after all, it’s Akebono’s type of match. He’ll probably cut a great promo about it on Smackdown, and that’ll be the end of it.
Winner: Akebono

PK – Akebono will destroy Show…I’m thinking Butterbean/Bart Gunn proportions destoying here.
Winner: Akebono

Matthew Michael: Akebono’s the ‘real’ sumo wrestler here, and can’t see him signing on if he was to lose, and lose face. He’ll win this one, then Show will choke slam him in a post-match beat down, to give Show a bit more of an edge that he lost after his “anger management” classes.
Winner – Akebono

Jed Shaffer – So, a monster face push for Big Show for the past 6 months culminates in him fighting a sumo wrestler? Hey, Creative, whatever you’re on, DO NOT PASS IT TO ME.
Winner: Oh, who really cares?

Tal Aulbrook – Who cares? Maybe Ahmed Johnson will come down and body slam both of them, but I doubt it.
Winner: Hopefully Ahmed Johnson but I really don’t care!!

Kurtis Osterlund – Not even sure why this is really here.
Winner: umm, Big Show. I guess.

Vin Tastic – I don’t understand what this match is all about, but hopefully they’ve learned from Bam Bam and LT. Paul Wight still has to come to work after WM21, so they shouldn’t ruin him.
Winner: Big Show

David Brashear – It looks like each show’s determined to put on one stinker match, and this is Smackdown’s entry. Hopefully they’ll space the show out properly – Get your refreshments before the show starts, refill during the Christy Hemme match, refill again here.
Winner: Who cares? I’ll pick Show for the heck of it.

Jeremy Lambert – All that’s missing from this match is Vader… I hope I don’t give the WWE any ideas.
Winner: The sushi bar they hit after the show

Thomas Kilduff – Who? Why the f*ck should I care? And what the f*ck is the point?
Winner: Does it matter?

Chris Biscuiti – It’s nice of WWE to provide us with a built-in “Time for an Intermission” match. Big Show is funny, but this match will be a laugher in the not-so-funny way.
Winner: The Dominos Pizza Delivery Guy I summon during this match

Kevin G. Bufton – Erm… I don’t care. Like the Women’s Match on Raw, this feels like it’s been put in to give on of the top stars something to do. I have the same views on this as I have on shoot fights – if I wanted to see a sumo match, I watch sumo, not pro-wrestling. I assume this is business only, and they’re hoping to get a shitload of buys from Japan out of curiosity.
Winner: Big Show – if Akebono is there for one night only, then why bother putting him over the established superstar?

James Hatton – Did someone already make a ‘the winner is the bathroom attendant’ joke? If not I just did.
Winner – Show (but only second to the Bathroom Attendant)

Iain Burnside – I really like cheese.
Winner: The person that gets to the bathroom before them. Oh, and Akebono, I guess…

Tag Team Champions Face Off
Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Widro – I think Eddie will be moving brands, so he will win here and then move on soon.
Winner: Eddie

Scott Keith – A match between the tag champions on Smackdown because neither guy has anything better to do and they want another good match. This will open the show and probably set an impossibly high standard for anyone else, but that’s the chance you take. Winner doesn’t matter, flip a coin.
Winner: Heads says Eddie Guerrero with interference from Chavo; tails says Rey despite interference from Chavo.

Eric Szulczewski – No, Eddie will not turn heel like the whole IWC seems to be speculating. He and Rey-Rey have great chemistry as a tag team, and I think WWE hasn’t taken full advantage of that yet. Eddie will turn heel eventually, probably within a month, but he’s going to get his own back on Rey-Rey after all of the losses. Then they’ll hug afterward and we’ll get the traditional Wrestlemania Sweet Moment.
Winner: Eddie Guerrero

PK – Eddie looks like he is starting to snap…and a loss here would do it.
Winner: Mysterio

Matthew Michael: Match of the night? Rey wins YET AGAIN, this time with help from … CHAVO.
Winner – Rey Mysterio, Jr.

Jed Shaffer – I won’t even point out the obvious here. It’ll be a great match, and that’s its redeeming quality.
Winner: Like it matters. I’ll pick Eddie for shits and giggles.

Tal Aulbrook – Match is going to be fast and technically brilliant. This match is going to rock and or roll!
Winner: Rey Mysterio

Kurtis Osterlund – Rumors of an upcoming push aside, I still think Rey is going to get the win here. Just a hunch.
Winner: Rey Mysterio

Vin Tastic – Win-win for the fans. With recent storylines (Rey’s dominance over Eddie in singles matches), a 619 victory on the big stage could help kick off a cool Eddie heel turn…
Winner: Rey Mysterio

David Brashear – Don’t they have anything better for these two guys to do? You know, maybe, I don’t know, a title defence, maybe? Of course, Raw’s got the IC champ in a match where he’s not defending the belt, so what do I know? That said this is another match that really has potential if both guys are allowed to show what they can do. Picking a winner’s tough, but I’ll go with Eddie.
Winner: Eddie Guerrero

Jeremy Lambert – A filler match to increase the work rate. Will be good but in the long run, means nothing but neither will turn.
Winner: He Lies, Cheats, and Steals

Thomas Kilduff – Where the f*ck are the other tag teams on Smackdown? I don’t watch the show, but seriously, is the tag division that depleted? Great match though.
Winner: Eddie

Chris Biscuiti – This could have been a potential match of the night if we haven’t already seen it a million times over the past few weeks. I would have much preferred a match between Raw and SD tag champions, or a Cruiserweight match between Paul London and Kidman. Besides, how many times is WWE Creative going to have tag champions who despise each other (see: Edge and Benoit).
Winner: Eddie, probably due to cheating and a heel turn.

Kevin G. Bufton – My candidate for Match of the Night, as these guys always tear the house down. Not much of a build, but then it doesn’t really need one and, as much as I think all the belts should be defended at ‘Mania, I’d sooner see Eddie and Rey face each other than the Bashams again.
Winner: Eddie

James Hatton – Here is the match that they put on right before Show/Akebono because it’s going to be a loud crowd going balls to the wall crazy. I actually am predicting no heel turn for them – maybe some Chavoference. If they let this match go without any Sportz Entertainment, it would have a shot for match of the night.
Winner: Eenie Meenie Minie Rey Rey

Iain Burnside – I hope they don’t bother with a heel turn. Rey is like the Anti-HHH in that he just simply cannot function as a heel. Eddie is like the Anti-Orton in that he probably could, but he’s still far better off as a face. I can see them riffing on Bret/Piper from WMVIII and teasing it before and during the match, but hopefully all will still be cosy afterwards.
Winner: Eddie Guerrero


RAW vs. SD Matches:

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

Widro – This match will not disappoint, as these two guys will step it up. Mr. Wrestlemania?
Winner: HBK

Scott Keith – Angle’s match with Jannetty gave me new hope that he’s healthy enough to go on such a high-profile occasion, but I think it’s 2 years too late to have the classic that everyone seems to be counting on. The build has been intense, and anything less than ***1/2 and 20 minutes is going to be crapped on simply because of the ridiculously lofty expectations that have been built up for this one. It seems like a sure bet, but remember that Shawn Michaels and Curt Hennig, both at or near their prime in 1993, were promoted as having a Match of the Year Candidate at SummerSlam ’93 by the WWF themselves before the event even happened, and it ended up a horrible disappointment. Remember, as Shawn’s fickle moods go, so goes his motivation to have a good match. I’m sure Wrestlemania will be enough to trigger that fire, but I’m not gonna bet my life savings on it. The winner means nothing, flip a coin.
Winner: Doesn’t matter, but bet on Shawn because it’s Shawn and because he can justify not jobbing with the “babyface should win the big one” argument.

Eric Szulczewski – Angle’s been carrying the load promo-wise for this one, and that means that he’s going to drop the match, pure and simple. It’ll be worth it just to see the promo Angle will do on Smackdown trying to explain this one. There are some definites here: Angle will get the Angle Lock on Michaels, Michaels will blade, both of them will work to the point of exhaustion, and they’re going to sell for each other like no tomorrow. It’ll turn out to be a kick-ass match.
Winner: Shawn Michaels

PK – It comes down to who is more protected. I think they need to put Angle back in the WWE Title picture, so a victory here will better serve him…and I’m completely bias.
Winner: Angle

Matthew Michael: I have all of RAW’s babyfaces winning, and fan-favorites losing all of SD’s matches so far. Kurt’s younger and “needs” the win here, if he’s going for legendary status. Hopefully Shawn knows and agrees to that. (BTW, how great would it be if Kurt wins by ‘screwing’ Shawn, after Bret Hart comes out and orders someone to ‘ring the bell!?’)
Winner: Kurt Angle

Jed Shaffer – Kurtis and I have argued about this and, despite how good this may be, I still say it is a waste of time for this match to exist. Both men could be serving more useful purposes at Mania, helping others get over. Instead, we got two people a bad bump away from paralysis fighting each other for no good reason. A great match, yeah, but in the long run, worthless.
Winner: You think he’s cute… you know he can’t job at ‘Mania!

Tal Aulbrook – The best feud of the card. Both look ready to go and it already has that special feeling leading into the big night. Guaranteed 5 star match and it does not matter who wins.
Winner: HBK

Kurtis Osterlund – I know some people think this match isn’t going to be top notch. Other’s say it will. And there are even a few who said it shouldn’t even be happening. I think HBK and Angle will get them all to just sit back and enjoy. The winner doesn’t really matter. I’ll go ahead and say Michaels gets the win and maybe a show of mutual respect at the end.
Winner: Shawn Michaels

Vin Tastic – Wow. Hard to see any long-term benefit in either’s victory. Who has more stroke?
Winner: HBK

David Brashear – And here we have what I expect to be match of the night. This has had a great build-up and is unique in that I don’t believe that these two have ever fought one-on-one before. This is what a Wrestlemania match should be.
Winner: Shawn Michaels

Jeremy Lambert – MOTN most likely depending on how much time they are given. Angle should win because of his Sexy Boy (Remix) wasn’t that not the funniest thing ever?
Winner: He’s just a sexy Kurt/He’ll make your ankle hurt

Thomas Kilduff – Not the ***** match they are promising. Maybe if this was 2002, and Angle was not crippled. I bet ya HBK will use Angle’s injury as a basis for him going over here. Scumbag.
Winner: sigh, Michaels

Chris Biscuiti – The real match of the night is right here, and it almost makes Mania worth the price of admission. What better way for Angle to secure his legacy than to secure a win over HBK on the grand stage of WrestleMania, and I can only hope he “screws” Shawn somehow in the end…
Winner: Kurt Angle

Kevin G. Bufton – Another contender for Match of the Night honours and this one has been built superbly. It’s been a blast seeing Marty Jannetty and Sensational Sherri back in the WWF, however briefly, and I just hope that Angle is in 100% condition for this one. As it’s one night only (hopefully) it doesn’t eally matter who wins and who loses. Neither man needs to be put over at this stage in their career as they are both legends. That said, I’d rather see Angle win the match, just because he’s great and, the way his body is, it could well be his last great match.
Winner: Kurt Angle

James Hatton – The set-up of this feud has been awesome. Another one
of those ‘nobody cares who wins’ matches. Why does nobody care, because you know that when the match is over – the story will have dictated that the person who won should have. Expect a nice strong 30 minute match out of these boys… they deserve it.
Winner: I rolled a 4… that means Michaels

Iain Burnside – This is my main event, right here. If they had the balls to do it, they should make this the last match of the night. Quite simply, the build-up has been tremendous and featured some of the most creative work they’ve done in years – especially when you consider they’re not even on the same show. Hell, this all started in November. That’s got to be some sort of record for WrestleMania build-up nowadays, and the emotional investment in it far outweighs anything Batista or Cena can conjure up. The Sexy Kurt is brave/dumb enough to suck up the pain and put on a show even if it’s the last one he ever has, while Shawn is more than capable of helping him out. Thanks in advance to both of them.
Winner: Shawn Michaels

Randy Orton vs. The Undertaker

Widro – Who’da thunk i’d be rooting for the Undertaker here. Orton simply does not need another huge push right now.
Winner: Taker

Scott Keith – Tough one to call, because the silly winning streak gimmick that Undertaker has should theoretically mean something when it ends, and Orton has been freefalling as a character and as a meaningful draw since losing the title to HHH months ago. This is going to be their last legitimate shot at getting Orton over as a major player for the next little while, because he hasn’t won a feud in a long time and lacks credibility with non screaming-female fans. Personally I’d enjoy seeing Undertaker lose, because I’m spiteful that way, but don’t count on it happening. The mystery is not whether it’ll be win #13, but whether the total clash of styles can result in anything good. If Undertaker works the cookie-cutter match style he did with John Cena, holding Orton by the hand the whole way for 15 minutes, it’ll be good, but they depend on Orton to carry the match as a heel, prepare for a snoozer.
Winner: Undertaker.

Eric Szulczewski – No f*cking way they’ll break UT’s streak for the benefit of Randy Orton. I see a repeat of Wrestlemania 17 here, where UT sold for Trip and provided some great visuals for the crowd. UT won’t dominate, and he’ll be under instructions to make Orton look good, but the quid pro quo is that he gets over.
Winner: The Undertaker

PK – No point in ruining a perfect record on Orton’s account.
Winner: UT

Matthew Michael: RAW may be the flagship show, but SD will win both inter-brand matches, really getting under Bischoff’s craw. A week ago I’d say that Randy would take the win over Taker, then be moved onto the same brand as the Dead Man to continue the feud. But after reading that Orton’s not only injured his shoulder recently, but scared a few divas either off of RAW and onto SD — or out of WWE overall — due to his behavior, I can’t see him getting the win here OR getting moved to Thursday nights. Whoever wins, Taker will tombstone Randy on the stairs afterwards to write him off TV for his shoulder to heal.
Winner – The Undertaker

Jed Shaffer – Orton is taking time off after Mania for an injury, but a loss here is not only a tacit admission that Orton is in character freefall, but that they’re dumping him for good. But they can’t have UT look weak (heaven forbid!), so to appease both, Orton gets a “fluke” win, UT goes banana and “injures” Orton afterwards. Everybody’s a winner.
Winner: The Lost Cause

Tal Aulbrook – Randy Orton has done more for his career in these four weeks than he did with his entire championship run. Problem though is that Orton does not know how to carry someone through a match and the Undertaker simply can’t do it anymore. So the match might be painful on the eyes and with Orton hurt.
Winner: Undertaker

Kurtis Osterlund – I honestly wasn’t sure about this match when it was first announced, but I think it has been set up quite nicely. It’s a 50/50 kind of deal, but I think in the end the streak stays intact.
Winner: The Undertaker

Vin Tastic – The streak could be used to accomplish some meaningful career progression for Randy, or we could see another notch added to Undertaker’s belt.
Winner: RKO

David Brashear – Long story short, I don’t see the Undertaker’s undefeated streak ending here. Randy and Cowboy Bob can throw whatever they want at Taker, but I still see Randy eating a Tombstone and then going down for the clean 3.
Winner: Undertaker

Jeremy Lambert – The WWE shouldn’t ruin the Undertakers streak at all. It’s a cool streak and a guy like Orton should not be the one to break it. I’m not a Taker fan but the streak is cool and Orton isn’t (spits apple in the face of Orton).
Winner: The Streaker

Thomas Kilduff – How many more times do I have to watch Undertaker win at WM? He is the main reason that I do not watch Smackdown any more. Orton has really fallen from grace in a year, and it will be a miracle if he wins here.
Winner: Please retire!

Chris Biscuiti – First off, The Undertaker is not going to lose to Orton. Second, Orton almost deserves the win since The Undertaker’s movie trailer was the worst vignette since Mark Henry and Mae Young birthed a pseudo-hand. Lastly, next year will be Taker’s last Mania, where he will lose his match and simply disappear from the ring, only to never return again.
Winner: Undertaker

Kevin G. Bufton – The heel Randy Orton is back and he’s looking to end the Undertaker’s winning streak at WrestleMania. Good. Randy is infinitely cooler as a heel and he needs a high profile win, to make up for the last six months since he won the title. However, both men are going to win here, in my view. ‘Taker will (technically) have a 13-0 record a ‘Mania, if only because Randy will snap and go apeshit on him with chairs, tables, ring steps, the bell, his dad’s cast (if only) and get disqualified in the process. He gets a chance to claim that he destroyed the Undertaker, thus adding a new legend to his list, whereas Undertaker can still be labelled as unbeaten at WrestleMania.
Winner: Undertaker (by DQ)

James Hatton – This is Orton’s long road to re-establishing himself as a top contender. To do that, he has to be taken to task and beaten within an inch of his life. He has to take huge abuse and sell it. Expect Orton to come out of this looking crimson and Undertaker to look smug. This is my long shot pull for match of the night.
Winner: Taker

Iain Burnside – Get ready to be surprised because this one is going to be far better than most people are expecting it to be. Orton has been working his ass off the past couple of months to rebuild his character and, regardless of the result; he’s going to back it up here with his best in-ring performance since the Cactus Jack match. I don’t think Taker should lose, and I feel slightly dirty for typing that, and the best thing for Orton’s career at this point is to return to Smackdown anyway, so he could easily get revenge later on.
Winner: The Undertaker


Finally:

Piper’s Pit
Rowdy Roddy Piper interviews Stone Cold Steve Austin

Widro – I think Hassan will get involved and there WILL be some stunners.

PK – Really, what’s the big deal about this? Neither men are going to be mainstays, so this is worthless…could’ve added a US, Raw Tag, or CW title match.

Matthew Michael – Stone Cold, Hassan, Daivari, Hogan, maybe even Foley, The Rock, or some other Hall of Famers/Hollywood types? They’re all gonna be a part of this segment.

Other thoughts – Also, I keep reading rumors that there will be some sort of RAW vs. SD battle royale to fill time and get people some paydays. Whether or not that happens, I can see the RAW Heat match being a Tag Title defense, where Regal and Tajiri keep the belts vs. either Maven/Dean or La Res; and the SD Heat match being a U.S. Title defense, where O.J. loses by D.Q. to, say, Booker T (since O.J.’s hurt anyway).

Jed Shaffer – A psychopathic, drug-addicted habitual hypocrite interviewing an alcoholic, sociopathic, wife beating cretin. My dream segment, I tell ya. And God knows, Hassan will interrupt, Austin will hit Stunners, rendering Hassan, and the segment, meaningless. I eagerly await the opportunity to hit FF.
Winner: Not the people who shelled out 50 bones to watch this, that’s for damn sure.

Kurtis Osterlund- Someone is getting a Stunner, that’s all I know.

Tal Aulbrook – Should be fun no matter what happens and I have no idea what, well I might have a few. Hogan? Hassan? Stunner? Maybe.

David Brashear – There’s going to be some sort of shenanigans here, but I’m not sure what. Muhammad Hassan, maybe? Whatever it is, I see it ending in a stunner.
Winner: Stone Cold

Jeremy Lambert – As long as Austin stuns people, drinks beers, curses, flips off people, drinks more beer, and stuns more people, all of us Austin marks win.
Winner: Me and the Austin Marks

Chris Biscuiti – I can only wonder what Sean O’Haire is thinking.
Winner: The fans, along with coconut vendors in Hollywood

Kevin G. Bufton – Two things here – I hope it lives up to the hype and that Piper and Austin are both on top form, as far as interviewing goes. The other thing is, please don’t let this spark an angle. The rumour is that Hassan and Daivari are going to storm the set, bitch about not getting a WrestleMania slot and set up a tag match for Backlash – this would be a hugely bad idea. I love the idea of seeing Piper and Austin talk for twenty minutes, but I’m not enthralled about seeing them wrestle again. If they want to stun Hassan and Daivari, just for the pops, then fair enough, just leave it at that.

Other thoughts – Why are the IC, the US, the Cruiserweight and both sets of tag belts not being defended on this show? Is it that hard to pit Orlando Jordan against, say, Mark Jindrak on the undercard, or let Paul London and Akio tear it up for the Cruiser strap, like they have done most weeks on Velocity? People will say that this card gives the other matches more time – yeah, because the world’s just crying out for twenty minutes of Christy Hemme, or a twenty minute sumo match, isn’t it?

I expect either a lot of dead air, or a handful of last minute inclusions to the card.

James Hatton – I mark like a porn star in the ‘Free Breasts Clinic’ over Roddy Piper. He is just the cat’s pyjamas, all his drama aside. On the other hand, I yawn at Austin specifically because of his out-of-ring drama. I expect this to be entertaining and for there to be some Hassan-acide in a tag match.
Winners: Piper/Austin

Iain Burnside – So I get to watch a crazy fat man and a crazier, fatter man drink beer, talk in circles of cliches and assault a couple of Arabs in front of a largely moronic crowd that will spend it’s time yelling “WHAT?” and “U-S-A”? Lucky me…
Winner: Nostalgia and fear of the unknown

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