The Roundtable

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NOTE: The individual opinions of each Roundtable contributor are their own, and is not representative of anybody but that contributor.


Details on the video game adaptation of BONE [Check: Bonearama]

WILL “STRATUSFACTION” COOLING: I know nothing about BONE, so instead I will tell you an interesting fact about bones. Did you know that is now illegal in Britain for a restaurant to make its gravy by boiling bones? No? Well you do now.

Okay, interesting may be stretching it a bit… look I’m a butcher’s son who de facto runs the meat section where I work… I can’t help but care about this stuff…

PAUL “JAPANESE BUZZSAW” SEBERT: Wait you’ve never read BONE…

And you call yourself a comics fan?

Blasphemer!

IAIN “LEGEND KILLER” BURNSIDE: A quick Google search brought up the website with the wonderful heading “Peeing Your Bones down the Toilet”, which just sounds like all sorts of fun.

Anyway…

Must… resist… jokes… about Will… playing with… meat…

WILL COOLING: Why would I do that when I have you? :)

To do it for me?

Bitch!

MANOLIS “CEREBRAL ASSASSIN” VAMVOUNIS: You two boys are sharing a room in Bristol, aren’t you? I’m going to have sooooo much fun with my hidden cam, I just know it! :D

WILL COOLING: Not as much fun as me and Iain though :)

IAIN BURNSIDE: For the love of god, somebody help me!!!

ANDY “RABID WOLVERINE” LOGAN: God, sitting on his cloud, with his fingers in his ears… “Lalalalalalalalalalala notlistening notlistening notlistening notlistening lalalalalalalalalalala…”

IAIN BURNSIDE: And people wonder why I’m an atheist…

WILL COOLING: See that’s another thing we have in common.

MANOLIS VAMVOUNIS: I’m currently 2/3 of the way thru BONE, the one volume edition, and it is one of the most enjoyable titles I’ve come across. The graphics look true to the spirit of the book, but I do wonder how they will be able to turn it into a videogame if they only follow the plot of the first collection, which is admittedly low on action and drama. The design team couldn’t possibly have a more shining CV, with classic games like SAM & MAX and GRIM FANDANGO in their past. It’s been ages since a worthwhile adventure game came out, and I’m hoping BONE will revitalize this genre!

JESSE “CREEPY LITTLE BASTARD” BAKER: BONE is a perfect example of a series that jumped the shark so badly that it cancels out the brilliance of the year and a half of the series. It’s one of the reason why the only BONE TPBs I own are the first three since after issue #19, the series became so unbearably awful, complete with Jeff Smith failing to deliver anything worthwhile with regards to the series’ main plot threads, that it pissed away all promise that the series once had when it first started out…

PAUL SEBERT: Jesse…

You’re really Satan aren’t you?

MANOLIS VAMVOUNIS: So, if you only own the first three TPBs, how do you know it turned out so bad afterwards? Did you follow it through till the end?

JAMIE “HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT” HATTON: On the BONE game…

Manolis mentioned GRIM FANDANGO and SAM & MAX, so he earns respect points. If the new BONE game is anything like the adventure games of yore, games that made you think and react instead of random first-person shooters and streamlined bubble-gum role-playing games, if BONE has just a fraction of that in it, I’m on it like white on rice.

On BONE itself…

BONE is, without a shadow of an inkling of a doubt, one of the most blessed Cinderella stories in comics; an all-ages journey into the growth of the main character. It is something that I will read to my kids. It is something I’ve given out to countless relatives as gifts, as well as an amazing book to get someone into comics.

It is inoffensive. It is all-ages friendly. It is a great story through and through. It is an underground comic that lasted from beginning to end, which only a handful of books have ever been able to wear as a badge. Not to mention how meticulously it follows the Joseph Campbell School of ‘The Heroes Journey.’

IAIN BURNSIDE: All I have to say is that SAM & MAX kicks ass.


A ZATANNA movie is in the works [Details: Here]

ANDY “WRESTLING GOD” CAMPBELL: Well, anyone that knows me knows that I loves me some Zatanna! If they can pull this off, I’ll be the first in line.

That said, I’m kinda sceptical about the whole “teen magician” thing. That doesn’t bode too well, in my opinion.

WILL COOLING: I’m really looking forward to her SEVEN SOLDIERS mini (think it’s the one Frazer Irving is drawing). As for this, bleh, I only watch the Sci-Fi Channel for porn (tell you what, the Japanese are sick, sick people).

IAIN BURNSIDE: I think it would be really funny if it turned out that she’s mind-wiped Batman about seventy-six times or something.

B: “Who ate my cookies?? Zatanna – I see crumbs!!”

Z: “Hmm? Oh, crap… Mindwipe

B: “What? Oh, I really must go and buy some cookies, excuse me…”

Z: “Oh, he is so the bitch…”

MANOLIS VAMVOUNIS: Teenage witch just brings Sabrina to mind, and I’m sure she’s got the whole market share covered, doesn’t she? But still, it’s a popular genre (with Charmed still surviving and Bewitched making a triumphant Nicole Kidman return this year) so anything is possible! I just hope she keeps the fishnets and costume – that’s all the fun right there!

“DAVE” COREN: Eh. This Zatanna thing just strikes me as just horribly off. She’s one of the least known major characters of DC, so there’s a far smaller fanbase going in. And then they muck about with her origin so it’s not even the same character, which could very well piss off that fanbase. Plus I think we’re about to hit witchy overkill, between the already mentioned Sabrina, Charmed, and Bewitched. And lastly, “It’s more of a [comedic] and kind of tweeny, teen-[oriented]” doesn’t seem to bode well, at least in my mind. I keep getting Jack Black as Green Lantern flashbacks.

IAIN BURNSIDE: I keep getting Jack Black as Zatanna nightmares.

MANOLIS VAMVOUNIS: Hey! Don’t knock off the Jack Black GL, I still have hopes for that :D

Hmm, Guy Gardner: the movie!!!

And as for mucking with the origins, it can go both ways. Of course it was a large-scale disaster for Birds Of Prey, but no-one can argue that Smallville was an unprecedented hit although it’s miles away from the traditional origin…

ANDY LOGAN: Jack Black in spandex… scary…

It would make a great tag-line, though – “Four words that can strike fear into even the most evil of hearts… JACK. BLACK. IN. SPANDEX. Only in theatres this summer…”

MANOLIS VAMVOUNIS: Still not quite as bone-chilling as the aforementioned “Jack Black in fishnets” angle!

ANDY LOGAN: That gives me an idea – mini competition between us staff members… pick a super hero movie – any one, either past, present, or not even filmed yet, and write your own tag line. Funniest, coolest or daftest wins… well, nothing, really, but it’s the taking part that counts, right? Right? Huh? Huh? Huh?!! Guys, hey guys?!!!

Try this for size – Batman & Robin “Avoid – it sucks… even we hate it, and we paid for the damn thing.”

TIM “HEARTBREAK KID” STEVENS: Batman & Robin…
“Not Simply the Worst Movie Ever But Rather the Worst Thing Ever”

The Phantom…
“Hey… Somebody Thought This was A Good Idea…”

The Shadow…
“He Has The Ability To Cloud Men’s Minds. After All, You Did Pay a Ticket.”

Superman IV…
“With Sets That Even the Local High School Would Deem Too Cheap to Use in Their Production of Guys and Dolls.”

ANDY LOGAN: The Phantom…
“Scraping the barrel of superhero stories”

Superman…
“You’ll believe a man can fly, until you watch it again as a grown-up and realise how badly it’s dated…” Still a great film,
though…

Fantastic Four…
“Quick! Let’s release it before the superhero trend dies on it’s arse…”

Ghost Rider… see Fantastic Four…

MATT “YOUR OLYMPIC HERO” MORRISON: Tagline for a Green Lantern movie…

In Brightest Day.
In Darkest Night
In Theatres June 20th.

IAIN BURNSIDE: X-23 the Movie…
“Do you like Wolverine? Do you like teenage girls? If so… you’ll love it!”

In theatres before NYX #6…

PAUL SEBERT: I actually really liked the Phantom movie. I mean, yeah, Billy Zane’s costume looked really silly, but it was fairly true to the character’s mythos, the special effects were neat, and Trent Williams was a heck of a lot of fun to watch as a scenery-chewing villain.

It’s well worth a look and has a nice pulpy movie-serial feel.

TIM STEVENS: Huh… maybe I owe Mr. Zane and Co. another shot then.

KEVIN “ONE-HALF OF THE ROCKERS” MAHONEY: I thought The Phantom was way, way too campy. Good actors reading bad lines, IMO. I think The Shadow is only half a step above it in terms of quality, but it was a richer visual experience and Alec Baldwin kicked ass as The Shadow/Lamont.

COREN: The Phantom was definitely too campy, but I think that’s because it was set in an earlier time period. When I heard it was on TV, I was hoping it was about Phantom from the future which would have made a far better movie.


RUMOUR: Following up on last week’s discussion, it seems a lock that Thomas Hayden Church will play Sandman in Spider-Man 3 [Credit: AICN]

WILL COOLING: Sandman? WTF!?! The fact is that if the villain is anyone other than Venom or Hobgoblin then there are going to be loads of disappointed fans. Sandman… good grief…

BTW, doesn’t sound good for Fantastic Four does it? I mean it didn’t help with The Incredibles doing the FF movie before the originals got round to it (awful shades of what happened with Dredd and Robo-Cop) but yeesh. Tell ya… it feels an awful lot like 1995 all over again.

IAIN BURNSIDE: I still think that Sandman (or whatever villain Church is playing, it still hasn’t been officially confirmed) will be nothing more than a “filler” villain for the movie, perhaps someone for a cool action scene to kick things off or something. After all, if we wind up with the Harry Goblin then the studio is still going to want another character that they can market to all those kids that already have their Norman Goblin figures from the first film. Also, if we wind up with the Black Cat (or even just Felicia Hardy) then although that would be good from a character standpoint and make for some good romantic tension between Peter and MJ then they’re still going to want to put something else in the film too, otherwise we’d just have Bridget Parker’s Diary on our hands. It’s at this point that alarm bells regarding multiple villains in superhero movies start ringing but c’mon, we’re not talking about Joel Schumacher here. This is Sam Raimi. Outside of Stan Lee and Brian Michael Bendis he’s the one storyteller I trust the most with a Spidey franchise. So why can’t Marvel get him to write an arc of MARVEL KNIGHTS SPIDER-MAN or something?

As for the FF… Not only will The Incredibles prove to be an infinitely better movie than Fantastic Four (really, it’ll be like comparing Tim Burton’s Batman to Adam West’s Batman), it has already proven to be a far superior family superhero story than any Fantastic Four comic book that I’ve read.

WILL COOLING: You’ve convinced me on Spidey and yep Joel Schumacher’s Batman’s were travesties… Burton just about managed to keep the show on the road for Batman Forever but Batman & Robin… ugh. What the #$@$ did they do to Bane?

Nice costumes though.

PAUL SEBERT: Personally I’m very, very cool with Sandman. He’s a classic villain, a three-dimensional character, and he could look damned cool in live action.

And let’s face it… A Venom movie would suck because more likely than not someone would bring Eddie Brock back from the dead, and I think the guy should just rest in peace.


Marvel’s HOUSE OF M tie-ins and crossovers listed in full [No Escape: Newsarama]

WILL COOLING: Holy shit! That’s a lot of titles being roped into an Avengers/X-Men crossover… Oh my Spidey-sense is tingling… bad comics… Jesse ranting… suckers buying… variant covers… sales over 200,000… annual fixture from now on… Bendis dead when Jesse whacks him with a large trout… Duncan’s horses going crazy… the Nile turned red… locusts swarming in Egypt…

IAIN BURNSIDE: I was trying to convince someone in the pub the other day that comics have actually grown quite a bit in the past twenty years. Then I realised that DC was having a Crisis and Marvel was peddling a huge X-Men crossover that nobody cared about. Hmm.

WILL COOLING: We have grown up… ten years ago people would’ve cared about it.

PAUL SEBERT: For the record I’m not going to make a judgement on HOUSE OF M until the first issue hits but… I’m kinda burned out on the mainline X-Books.

TIM STEVENS: Come on guys, HOUSE OF X is so obviously going to rock!!!!!!!!

Okay… now, I’m just being contrary for the sake of being contrary. God… I’m a dick.

WILL COOLING: The problem I have with HOUSE OF M (other than it will further prove that Jesse was right about Bendis all along) is that we did all this last year. With the end of Morrison’s run and X-Reload we had the universe changing, new status quo establishing event and having another one a year later completely devalues the concept. I have nothing whatsoever against Marvel doing an X-Over but it should have happened last year to prep the way for the new titles launching (it would also have created some lead time for AXM). When I get the chance, I’m gonna write what should have been the X-Reload X-Over for WOQW (besides somebody’s gotta step up and stop it being Jamie’s column).


Marvel month-to-month sales for February 2005 [Chart: Here]

PAUL SEBERT: I ain’t looking.

I learned back when I was doing the Marvel News & Views for 411 that if you try to read into the sales figures and try to figure out why Book X sells while Book Y doesn’t you’ll just drive yourself crazy.

IAIN BURNSIDE: I know what you mean. Nine times out of ten though, it all boils down to this one basic fact – people are idiots.

WILL COOLING: Firstly, Paul O’Brien is a brilliant writer; love his stuff… only reviewer outside of The Nexus I read. Secondly, is it me but are these numbers deeply disturbing? Look at the annual comparisons – the only titles to have not lost readers are ones that have been relaunched/revamped in the past 12 months. Things don’t look to be going Marvel’s way.

IAIN BURNSIDE: Agreed about O’Brien’s work. If anyone hasn’t read his reviews yet then check out his website. The man puts a hell of a lot of effort into compiling his archive and it’s an entertaining read.

As for the sales figures, well, that’s just the way things are these days. Only new or heavily hyped titles will show any significant increases but eventually their sales will taper off, at which point the book is either given a boot up the arse (e.g. Millar & Romita Jr. on WOLVERINE), cancelled outright (e.g. my beloved MYSTIQUE) or secret option #3, which is fast becoming the vogue nowadays, given some time off to be relaunched at a later date (e.g. the adorable SHE-HULK). Then of course there’s SPIDER-GIRL, which carries on oblivious to all notions of rhyme and reason and just does its own thing anyway. It’s not just Marvel either, that’s just the way for all comic companies nowadays. I’m just amazed that they’ve managed to get three titles with relatively stable sales in six figures.

What does piss me off though is that RUNAWAYS vol. 2 #1 has a massive 64% sales increase on RUNAWAYS vol. 1 #18… Yet it still barely sold more than 30,000 copies. I know that there are a lot of people out there just waiting for the digests (such as me, hypocrite that I am) and that ultimately it is the sales of those that will determine whether or not the team will come back after issue #12 of the current run, but… Why have Marvel not shown more initiative in promoting this book? Would it have taken too much effort to have the likes of the Young Avengers debut in this book as a prelude to the launch of their own title? Can they not whip out some stupid variant scheme for this title rather than incessantly beating NEW AVENGERS to death with theirs? X-23 has proven to be a popular guest star and isn’t yet overexposed, could she not have been involved somehow? It just feels like they should be doing more to promote this book as the premise is simply wonderful and the characters should prove to have some real longevity, yet instead they are content to let them drown in a sea of Marvel Next titles like LIVEWIRES and SPELLBINDERS that will ultimately do nothing for nobody.

WILL COOLING: Which is what I’m worried about… just endless shock tactics and panic revamps! Ugh, way things are going 12 months is going to be a long run for a creative team.


DC month-to-month sales for February 2005 [Chart: Here]

PAUL SEBERT: Again not looking… La-la-la-la… You BLOODHOUND ignoring buying-everything-with-Batman-on-the-cover saps can’t hurt me.

IAIN BURNSIDE: What he said, replacing BLOODHOUND with VIMANARAMA.

Still, good news for SEVEN SOLDIERS.


Mark Millar is a cruel, twisted bastard… but a funny one [Details: Millarworld & Isotope]

WILL COOLING: As an owner of UNFUNNIES #1, SPIDER-MAN #1-4, most of WANTED, ULTIMATE X-MEN vol. 2 and the final AUTHORITY trade I forgive Millar for all the crimes on comics he has committed in the past few years. Why? Because that is F$@$%#^ genius!!! Just wonderful. Can’t wait to see the book of these he’s going to put out.

IAIN BURNSIDE: The Quitely one sounds totally sick… and funny as f*ck :)

Still, this puts Millar up there with the likes of Noel Edmonds and Jeremy Beadle so he’s probably at home. All you Americans will have no idea who I’m talking about but it’s highly insulting.

WILL COOLING: Fucking hell you’re right!!! Ah it all makes sense now!


Keith Giffen & J.M. DeMatteis cut loose for HERO SQUARED [Read: Funny]

MANOLIS VAMVOUNIS: Alas poor Benjamin, these guys are enough to burn even the greatest interviewer’s synapses! I’m so jealous! I wish they had talked a bit about the project, still. The first issue of HERO SQUARED showed some promise, but it still didn’t measure up to the comedic genius that the “Giffen League” has evolved into. I’d like to have heard more about the project and the new DEFENDERS book coming up. Sounds like a job for the Nexus interviewers, don’t it? ;)


FANTASTIC FOUR #1-520 plus Annuals on one DVD-ROM [Details: Here]

MANOLIS VAMVOUNIS: There’s no question this is a good deal, and a good initiative from Marvel, but would it seriously kill them to do it properly? I mean, really… PDF files? It’s the worst way of representing the material. If you’re going to go through the hassle of scanning the material, why not use a high quality scan resolution and save it in a user-friendly format? The CDisplay shareware program is simply the best available technology to view comics on the screen. Moreover, all the issues of FANTASTIC FOUR are already scanned by freelance scanners online, in seriously high quality that doesn’t compare to the pixel-y PDF quality in these “official” collections (I’m actually referencing the quality from the recent AMAZING SPIDER-MAN CD collection, done in the same format).

IAIN BURNSIDE: Out of curiousity, what was the quality like when compared to the comics they used to post on the Marvel website? And those DVD-comics they brought out a while back?

MANOLIS VAMVOUNIS: The comics on the Marvel website were on a completely different level of suck, combining bad scan quality with the annoying pop-up system that only allowed you to see one panel at a time. I think I actually prefer PDF with the bad colours separation, low scan resolution and slow scrolling over those! :)


Manga makes use of the Sony PSP [Details: Here]

PAUL SEBERT: It plays video games! It plays movies! It plays MP3s! It makes thousands of julienne fries! You can even read manga on it! Is there nothing this machine can’t do?

Personally I can’t wait for the price to come down on this one. In the meantime I’m going to be levelling up my Bunny-girls in Final Fantasy Tactics on the good old reliable GBA SP.

IAIN BURNSIDE: For the first time since I got my first Gameboy back in… hmm, 1991?… I am finally, completely and utterly console free! Huzzah!


Ed Brubaker & Michael Lark to take over DAREDEVIL [Credit: Millarworld]

PAUL SEBERT: This is a damned good idea as Brubaker would take to this book as a duck would take to water.

JAMIE HATTON: Onto the matters at hand – Brubaker is damn good – Lark is awesome. These two on a book is like Joanie Loves Chachi. They are going to do excellent in following the awesomeness that has been the Bendis run. Gritty and dark, just how the Devil should be.

ANDY LOGAN: Oh, yeah – bring it baby. I love the work these guys have put in on GOTHAM CENTRAL. I don’t read DAREDEVIL at the moment, but this pairing would be enough to make me check out a few issues. Fingers crossed…

TIM STEVENS: I am of mixed minds on this one. On the one hand, I dig Brubaker, I dig Lark, and I definitely dig them when they work together. On the other hand, I think it will probably end up being very similar to Bendis in tone (not as in copying Bendis, just tone). I have much love for Bendis’ run so it isn’t like that will really bother me, but it would have been nice to see a creative team with a different spin on Hornhead take up the book for a bit. But as I said, it isn’t like I can really complain about a Brubaker/Lark team up.

MANOLIS VAMVOUNIS: I haven’t touched a single issue of the Bendis run, but I may give Brubaker a try, I have been buying everything the man has written since I first read his CATWOMAN and he has never disappointed (unlike Bendis, I’m afraid :p ).

JESSE BAKER: Sadly, having read the first couple of issues of Brubaker’s Cap I have no hope for his DD unless Brubaker somehow gets Marvel to let him declare that the last 6 years worth of DD stories (i.e. every single DD story since Kevin Smith started destroying Daredevil) never happened and that the run opens with Karen Paige and Frog Man by DD’s bedside, having stayed with DD after DD got put into a coma for the past two-three years Marvel time (complete with Karen making a comment that all non-DD book DD appearances have been the work of White Tiger, who’s been posing as Daredevil to ensure no one knows that he’s MIA). That and Brubaker making DD f*cking fun again as opposed to the sack of shitty, artificial angst that it’s been for the last six years…

TIM STEVENS: Okay… I get Karen Page, but… Frog Man?

JESSE BAKER: To pour salt into Bendis’ eyes over how his abused and f*cked over the character in “Wake Up” (which is the story that started my deeply entrenched hatred for Bendis BTW).

TIM STEVENS: Ah, okay. I won’t say I agree with that one, but now I dig the Frog Man reasoning.

JESSE BAKER: If Brian Bendis can show complete and total contempt for continuity, he deserves the same treatment by having his entire DD run tossed into shitter and declared “NEVER HAPPENED”. Fuck after his bullshit “Re-Read Everything Now Knowing What You Know About Wanda” justification for his raping and sodomizing of both Wanda and the Avengers franchise in general, he deserves having it thrown into his face that another writer can shit on his work and burn it to ash so it no longer matters in the big picture.

TIM STEVENS: Without getting into the merits/demerits of the past 3 or 4 years of DAREDEVIL stories (that’s a whole ‘nother thing) I have to say that that is a pretty tall order Jesse. I mean, you might as well declare, “I won’t read Daredevil unless Brubaker cures cancer and sends me candy twice a week for the next year,” because it is about as plausible. With the exception of making Daredevil “fun” (the question of tone I brought up earlier) there is absolutely no way on earth that Marvel is going to wholesale overturn 3 or so years of continuity that despite your distaste for, they seem to quite enjoy. So the question I pose to you is this: if Brubaker (or whomever) manages to make DD, in your estimation, “fun” again, would you be willing to read it again, even if he or she fails to make it rain gumballs and lemon drops?

MANOLIS VAMVOUNIS: Man has a point. The whole “Chaos magic? That’s just crazy talk, sugah” line crapped on 5 years of Kurt Busiek’s run in one single panel. Bendis deserves to feel the love too!

KEVIN MAHONEY: Gosh-almighty…

If the last few comics years have taught me anything it’s this…

If even a small percentage of fans whine long enough and loud enough, word will come down to reverse a story.

Examples –
Spider-Clone Saga
Oliver Queen
Hal Jordan
Supergirl
Hourman (I)
Red Hood (If you think the latest issue of BATMAN isn’t a fake out)

These were off the top of my head; I bet each Nexus keeper can think of a few more on his own!

TIM STEVENS: Again, I’m not saying Bendis does or does not deserve to have his continuity erased in DD, Avengers, wherever. I was pointing out that Jesse’s requests for the future of the DD title were wildly unlikely and a fairly big order for the sake of getting him to buy DAREDEVIL. It would be a bit like me demanding that the current X writers reduce the X-Men to the original five members and one title or I’ll never pick up an X book again. First, yeah, like that’s gonna happen and second, who the hell am I to make such a friggin’ outrageous demand, regardless of how right I think I am.

As for the “fans whining works” those situations you listed had at least one of three factors: A) Poor sales (which also, ironically, usually brought the initial change that deposed the classic character), B) Creator interest in bringing back the character and/or reversing the events and C) Time. In this case, the current administration is perfectly happy with DD sales, the only creator who has publicly expressed an interest in, say, bringing back Karen Page is actually Bendis himself (irony!), and it has only been about 4 years. Thus, at this juncture, the idea of Marvel simply eliminating all of Marvel Knights DAREDEVIL… it just isn’t gonna happen. And to me, therefore, it seems wrong to hold Brubaker or whomever hostage with such a demand.

So again, I ask, if the next DD writer made it “fun” again could you overlook the fact that everything is not exactly as you want it?

ANDY LOGAN: My sentiments exactly. I am a Bendis fan, all things considered – I think he produces far more good work than bad. Having said that, I did pick up DD for a few issues to see what it was like, and then dropped it again – the overall feel and flavour of the story just wasn’t for me, so I decided not to pick it up on a regular basis.

Does that mean it was a bad story? Not really, it’s just that the story being told didn’t grip and grab me enough to make me want to stick around.

I’ve read quite a few issues of DD during past runs – and I like the character – so I’m willing to pick up an issue or two of Brubaker’s run (assuming he does actually get the gig) to see what it’s like. If I like what I see, I’m sticking around, otherwise – I’m off again.

Give the next creator of DD a chance if you have an affinity or love of the character – maybe they will surprise you? To use an analogy – going back to the “evil cunts” remark – some of them can be. That’s true… but not all of them are. And you wouldn’t dismiss the chance of happiness out of hand just because a few previous relationships didn’t work, would you?

WILL COOLING: Was hoping for Brubaker/Phillips myself – just because it would offer a different tone to the Bendis run (Phillips being an excellent action artist) but its still good I say. However, there is noooo chance in hell that this will be anything other than a continuation of the Bendis run – after all when it comes to Marvel Brubaker is Bendis protégé.


DISTRICT X will become MUTOPIA X after issue #14 [Credit: Izzyarama]

PAUL SEBERT: Yes this means Bishop now patrols the mean streets of delicious Strawberry Kiwi Lemonade. I can’t wait for FRUITOPIA X!

JAMIE HATTON: Water flows up – Cats chase dogs – in Mutopia… it’s craaaaaziness.

Is it still being written by Hine? Yes? Good. They could all become zombie priests to the lesser gods and I wouldn’t care, because if it’s zombie-priest crime drama with Hine, I’m there.

ANDY LOGAN: I’m with you all the way, there. DISTRICT X is the most under-rated and yet consistently original X title there is.

What is it with the best titles often – though I admit not always -being the ones that only a handful of people seem to read?

WILL COOLING: Nice idea, although somehow I doubt the character’s are well enough established for many to dig/buy an alternate reality story featuring them. In addition after the fiascos that there Hard Knocks and Mack’s fill in DD run (which was a mini-series in all but name) what will this do for the title’s momentum and sales?

PAUL SEBERT: Sorry… David Mack’s run on DD may have been a mini-series in all but name, but well, it was still more beautiful, innovative, and lovely to look at than 90% of the stuff out there.

COREN: MUTOPIA X? Same creative team as DISTRICT X? Sign me up. And Mr. M is back? About time. That guy really has potential, and I can’t wait to see where this goes. And not making it dependant on HOUSE OF M is definitely a good thing in my eyes. I have my doubts to its quality as it is, and like the link said, it sucks having to buy one thing to know what’s going on in another.

ANDY LOGAN: For my money, Izzy is one of the most intriguing and flawed characters in comics (at least, in all the ones I read, he is anyway!). As long as they keep telling stories of the same high quality as the current ones, maybe the change can give this severely under-rated book a deserved sales kick-start.

And on a totally un-related note – I’ve just found out that I’m going to be a Daddy again. Yay me! (And the wife as well, of course…)

IAIN BURNSIDE: Yay, Logan! Yay, Logan’s wife!

TIM STEVENS: Ah, babies having babies (or something). Congrats Logan and to Logan’s wife (whose name is… hmm… let’s call her Erica).

MANOLIS VAMVOUNIS: Congrats to Mr. & Mrs. Logan!! Another Nexus baby on the way :)

PAUL SEBERT: I just realized something very cool Bendis could actually do with Marvel’s upcoming HOUSE OF M event, which everyone seems to hate because they have time machines and can read it apparently.

Considering that there’s some kind of wacky DISTRICT X (soon to be MUTOPIA X) tie-in, maybe the letter “M” in the title doesn’t refer to Magneto or Mrs. Maximoff but in fact Mr. M the enigmatic crazy-powerful guy from the first DISTRICT X arc?

JESSE BAKER: I’d rather it be “House of Mordo” as in Baron Mordo.

Mordo, tired of being disrespected as a bottom-feeding mage in the Marvel Universe, uses Dr Strange’s time travel spell in AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #500 to revive himself from the dead and plot to bed Scarlet Witch via driving her insane so that they can create a new family of über-magicians but without the “killing each other to prove how much they love evil” family problems Mordo had with his parents.

Mordo has Strange under his control (ala when they first met) and has him denounce Chaos Magic to throw everyone off the fact that Mordo is using Chaos Magic to drive Wanda bonkers. Mordo ultimately tricks Wanda to warp reality via sex (by tricking her into thinking she’s screwing Vision) into a swords and sorcery meets Blade Runner world (ala the infamous “Mirror Mirror” issue of the TMK Legion) with Doom (who Mordo hates most of all for being the number two mage in the Marvel Universe, despite rejecting Magic for science) gathering everyone to beat up Mordo and redeeming Wanda by revealing that her madness was brought about by Mordo. Wanda resets reality and Avengers Disassembled never happened and everyone dead being alive. Wanda and Vision go on walkabout to restart their marriage, Ant Man becomes Young Avenger’s den father, and Hawkeye tells Iron Man to go f*ck himself for being a shitfaced skullcunt who disbanded the Avengers like he did/allowing murderers Wolverine and Sentry to join and rejoins the T-Bolts.


John Romita Sr.’s NEW AVENGERS #8 retro-cover is revealed [Check: It]

JAMIE HATTON: Am I the only one who loves this cover? Seriously – retro covers are fun – and it seems they are going to put Sentry into some historical perspective. Nice.

PAUL SEBERT: Ok we have the greatest cover of 2005 right here.

WILL COOLING: Fucking variant covers!!! I can’t believe people actually buy two comics to get both covers, just crazy. Nice though.

IAIN BURNSIDE: My secret shame revealed – I bought both covers to BATMAN #619… Even the girl at the store tried to convince me not too, but oh know, I had been burned by the fanboy flames… Hell, I was probably just shocked to see a girl at the store…

Yeah, I’m in the middle of a few beers. I have the strange and sudden urge to sing “Danny Boy” too…


Devil’s Due acquires the DUNGEONS & DRAGONS license [Details: Newsarama]

JAMIE HATTON: Thank frigging God! Since the Legend of Huma book all had been quiet on the D&D Front. Now we can get back to our funions and D20’s! I’m so there.

I was a bit disappointed to click on the link and find out it wasn’t about the ol’ cartoon D&D but the game worlds are just as fine. I’ll probably only grab Dragonlance and maybe Ravenloft, but I know Starjammer geeks – so I guess everyone will be sated.

WILL COOLING: OOh retro!!! Ooh nostalgia!!! Oh I so don’t care!

JASON “THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN” BEREK-LEWIS: Basically, I view this as Devil’s Due trying to steal the thunder from a previous studio that was associated with them – one which has established a great deal of credibility with fans due to it’s faithful adaptations of fantasy properties.

This will quote possibly be a great coup for Devil’s Due given the popularity of D&D… In my view, they have yet to establish their credibility in producing faithful fantasy adaptations. This could bode ill for them if the works don’t meet the expectations of a demanding audience.

MIKE “THE NATURE BOY” MAILLARO: I love Devil’s Due’s core G.I. JOE book, but I think they need to learn from Dreamwave folding up. Licensed products cost quite a bit and could be a dangerous investment.


Scott Jeralds discusses the KRYPTO THE SUPERDOG cartoon [Details: Kryptorama]

COREN: I think this thing is going to suck almost as bad as Buzz Bunny. And for those not keeping score, that’s more suckage than Jesse attributes to Bendis.

PAUL SEBERT: I kind of dig the new Krypto cartoon in concept even though I haven’t gotten around to watching it. I just think it’s a good idea in general to get the little ones excited about comic characters.

As for Lunatics, I admit the designs are ugly but I just don’t see what people are so upset about the idea. I mean really if I wanted to watch the classic characters I could watch the Loony Tunes Gold Collection any time I want. Some new guys want to do something completely different eh, it’s not my problem.


An oversized RUNAWAYS HC hits in August [Details: Millarworld]

IAIN BURNSIDE: Holla, holla.

PAUL SEBERT: I’m going to snap this up like uh… uh… some easily snapped up thing but… well I’m astounded at how many formats Marvel has got me to buy this story in. I mean I already have three digests each individual issue and the magazine trade they put out at Target. I sincerely hope they put some damned cool features in this hardcover.


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