Hello everyone! A thousand apologies for being so inconsistent. I’ll be back
on a regular schedule soon, I promise. In the meantime, since there’s not much
in the way of news, I’ll move straight on into Wrestlemania!
Wrestlemania
Well, I missed out on the Roundtable, so here are another asshole’s opinions
on the biggest show of the year. Before I begin, let me say this: I don’t know
why everyone seems to be bitching so much about the card. I read the Roundtable,
and there was a LOT of negativity there. I can’t be the only who thinks it’s
a solid card, and that it will be a great show. Reading the Roundtable, though,
some people have something to bitch about in every match (this means YOU, Thomas
Kilduff, whoever the hell you are). Set aside your Smark Card and be a fan for
once in your life. It’s not always about workrate (and BIG thanks to Gordi’s
psychology columns for pointing that out).
World Heavyweight Championship
Champion HHH vs. Batista
Look for this to be the sleeper hit of the show. Batista really has that "it"
factor in his ring presence, and you know Triple H is going to sell like crazy
for him. This should entertain, and put the celebratory cap on the evening.
Winner: Batista
Money in the Bank Ladder Match for World Title Shot
Chris Jericho vs. Edge vs. Christian vs. Chris Benoit vs. Shelton Benjamin
vs. Kane
I’m excited about this match, despite some people’s complaints about it being
"tossed together." I couldn’t disagree more. Even though it’s been
built up for a month, people are complaining that it’s just a bunch of upper
midcarders with no storylines being tossed into a match together. I disagree.
If they announced this match last week on Raw, then maybe that would be the
case, but by throwing it out there as early as they did, it has created some
genuine excitement. Also, it’s the match that has the least-predictable outcome.
This is a match that I think has a good chance of going to any of the six competitors.
That said, they’ve been doing a slow build on pushing Jericho again (beginning
with having him beat Benoit cleanly a while back), and I think that this match
could give said push a real kick-start. I wouldn’t mind seeing Jericho turn
heel and be the one to unseat DAVE at the top of the mountain. Lord knows, Raw
needs more heels.
Winner: Chris Jericho
Women’s Championship
Champion Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme (w/Lita)
I agree with Kurtis Osterlund in that this match won’t be as bad as people
expect. By all accounts, Christy is someone who is very passionate about learning
her craft. Coupled with someone else who is very dedicated to her craft, and
this should certainly be watchable. I could also see Lita turning on Christy
here. Why not?
Winner: Trish Stratus
WWE Championship
Champion JBL vs. John Cena
I totally disagree with Scott Keith (go figure) that a loss by Bradshaw will
"jettison the JBL experiment after committing to it for 8 months."
Face it…the "JBL experiment" was a success. The character works
(and is a certifiable heat machine), and JBL is now a bona fide main eventer…with
or without the title. This will be another match that will be better than people
are expecting.
Winner: John Cena
Sumo Challenge
Big Show vs. Akebono
News flash: only the IWC doesn’t care about this match. Regular fans really
are interested to see how the Big Show will fare against a Sumo champion. Seriously.
Don’t worry, it won’t be long. This is a match that exists for the spectacle,
not the workrate. And for those who said that Big Show has to win because he
has to come to work the next day…Akebono has to go back to work in his LEGITIMATE
sport the next day.
Winner: DQ after Luther Reigns interferes…both men then destroy him
Tag Team Champions Face Off
Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio
I don’t think anyone is doubting that this will be tremendous. Plus, it could
go either way.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Raw vs. Smackdown
Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle
This will be awesome. Screw the naysayers (you know who you are); this will
be off the charts. Both men will go balls-out, and both will sell like crazy.
This is another one that could go either way (and I GUARANTEE you naysaying
f*ckwads that there is NO political posturing backstage…Christ, get over it).
Winner: Shawn Michaels
Raw vs. Smackdown
Randy Orton vs. The Undertaker
This is yet another match that will be better than expected (do you see a trend?).
I’m no fan of Orton, but I know he’ll bring his working boots, as will Taker,
who always delivers at Wrestlemania. Anyway, I don’t expect the streak to end
here.
Winner: The Undertaker
Odds and Ends
• Piper’s Pit should be entertaining, even for those of us who hate Austin.
• I’m excited to see the Hall of Fame segment. Call me nostalgic, but
I love that stuff.
• I wouldn’t be surprised if they added some sort of match for the Cruiserweight
title at the last minute.
• On the other hand, I WOULD be surprised…very surprised…if they
added a US title match. Sorry Bufton, but Jordan vs. anyone, especially Mark
Jindrak, would just kill the crowd.
Keep the e-mails and IMs coming, and hopefully I’ll see you here next weekend.
AIM = GoldenAce 007
