Riding Coattails: Instant Karma


The forces of good and evil are strong on The Amazing Race 7. Nearly two weeks ago, I cheered at the poetic justice of Ray and Deana’s elimination. I had watched in disgust as Ray repeatedly stated that there was no way he was going to let a couple of senior citizens or a mother/son team beat him to the finish line. He constantly moaned about the humiliation of being “at the back of the pack” with a bunch of losers. Given what a vocal crotch gnome he was being about this, I figured the editors were just foreshadowing his exit from the race. I was delighted when my prediction finally came to fruition. Ray and Deana lost out to brothers Brian and Greg in a foot race to the finish line in Botswana. Ray admitted to Phil that he and Deana deserved to be eliminated because they didn’t work well together as a team.

And now they’re engaged. Excuse me while I dry heave.

I read about their engagement announcement this week and just scratched my head. I mean, Deana doesn’t seem like such a bad person, but what in the world is drawing her to this abusive gorilla? He was totally unsupportive of her at so many turns, and even confessed during the race that he voted for Bush (in Ohio! Ugh!). Plus, he’s old and he’s not even cute.

The cute award definitely goes to Lynn and Alex, who have proven to be both caring toward those in need (like when Brian and Greg had their car accident) and assertive toward those who want to take advantage of them (Amber and Rob, anyone?). Plus, they’re endlessly entertaining. In particular, I loved their commentary on the African wildlife in the last episode when Lynn actually said, “How now, brown cow?” I read that they’re thinking of getting married in Amsterdam and I think that rocks.

Speaking of rock stars, I stand in awe of Meredith and Gretchen. I did not expect them to stay in the race for as long as they have. Luck has definitely been on their side several times, such as when they arrived last to a non-elimination pit stop. Then again, they’ve also had their share of misfortunes, most notably Gretchen’s fall and injury in the South African cave. And I’m so glad that those who have underestimated them, especially Yucky Ray, have had to eat their words. Those two are a force to be reckoned with, and now they’re doing everything without the aid of deodorant and nail clippers. Wow.

My feelings about Ron and Kelly are fairly shaky. I’m sure that they were cast on the show as the all-American couple, but they’re not representing very well. It would be hard, especially with Ron’s jerk-off attitude and disrespect for Kelly. I would so love to see her dump him at the finish line, but he’ll probably propose or something cheesy like that. Reality show contestants just love getting engaged on TV.

Like our friends, Rob and Amber. I am no longer interested in watching those two play this game. While their unconventional strategies and moronic belief that male goats produce milk have been mildly amusing to watch, I find their cut-throat attitude offensive at times. The fact that they kept on driving when they passed Brian and Greg’s accident speaks volumes about their character and the way the view the entire competition. I can’t say I’m surprised, given the way Rob in particular conducted himself on Survivor. But c’mon, dude, you already get to share a million dollars with your beautiful fiance! What more does he think he has to prove to the world? And how much more freakin’ money do they need?

I’d be delighted if the prize money went to Uchenna and Joyce so that they can afford to adopt a child. I have a feeling that they’ll be back to that orphanage in South Africa when the race is over. I think that any child would be very fortunate to have them as parents, especially given their mad balancing skills last week. That was incredible!

I was sad to see Brian and Greg go this week. They were really genuine, nice guys and I admired their sense of humor, particularly the way they handled their elimination in those stylish ensembles. Of course, now that they’re out of the game, they have time to go hook up with Megan and Heidi. Sadly, the CBS crew won’t be catching that on film.