I’ve looked high and low…
I’ve searched underneath the carpet..
I’ve looked inside the cupboard…
I even looked inside of Rob Liefeld’s colon..
There is so little news this week it’s not even funny!
Hello, I’m James Hatton – Comic Reviewer – Raw Rabbler – Shameless Plugger – Man amongst men. This is the week that Marvel forgot – this is MARVEL NEWS AND VIEWS. Joining me is Tim Stevens in Green, and Iain Burnside in Red. Oooooo we’re all coordinated.
HIT MY MUSIC!
Okay, fine, don’t. I don’t care. Let’s just get this over with, as I feel guilty at how little happened this past week. I seriously want to go and climb to the top of the House of Ideas and start fireboming just so I have some interesting things to comment on!
THINGIES THAT SOMEONE THOUGHT WERE IMPORTANT!
THE B TO THE MB IS IN THE HIZZ-OUSE OF M
Bendis talks about the House Of M
(link shoots you out to Newsarama)
The more time goes on, the more I want to check it out. The fact is I’m such an X-Fanboy that I will be drawn to it like a goth kid to a Robert Smith autograph signing. There is no control over the power it will wield over me.
It seems that this is going to change status quo, and maybe a bit longer than anyone expects. We already know about the District X to Mutopia X change, but what else is in the pipeline? I’m intrigued. What does Iain Burnside, Nexus reviewer and former News & Views guy think?
IAIN: House of Mmmm… I wear short shorts.
I don’t care. Screw Magneto. He wants a towel, the crazy Spanish bum-tickler. The most important thing is that I may well order a pizza.
And this is your official quote?
IAIN: House of Mmm… I didn’t buy AoA and you did so nyaa nyaa.
Thanks Iain… I think?
TIM: I’m not dreading this mini to the degree many are. In fact, I’m not really dreading it at all. On the other hand, I don’t feel much excitement for it either. I am really enjoying Bendis’s work on New Avengers and I think I’ve covered my love of Ultimate Spidey, Powers, and Daredevil in past reviews and comments pretty well. So, I should, in theory, be the target audience for this one. But, as it turns out, I’m really not.
What, in part, kills my interest I think is the old chestnut about this not being a “What if?” or an imaginary story or what-not (yes, they are ALL imaginary stories, but you know what I mean). That seems to be a line that is in vogue these days. Gaiman used it when talking about 1602 and it turned that, well, yeah it sort of was a What if? story. Which is not to say it was bad, it just was what it was. Similarly, Loeb said the same thing about the recent arc in Superman/Batman. He was a little closer to the mark, but in the end, the events of that arc were “reset” and all returned to “normal” because it was all alternate timelines and such.
So, I see a similar path for House of M. A sort of more all encompassing AoA saga. And that’s fine. But what is it in comics these days that we can’t just say that? Was anyone not going to read a Neil Gaiman Marvel book when it turned out that it was not concerned with the here and now of the Marvel U? No, of course not. It’s Neil “frigging” Gaiman. Same thing with Bendis and Loeb. They both have their fans who will stick to them regardless of the work and the characters have fans like that as well. So why not call a spade a spade? I don’t know.
So while I remain optimistic for this event to have ramifications, alternate worlds/timelines/etc are notoriously not made for such consequence. Even seminal events like Days of Future Past were huge moments in the mutant-verse but they did not truly influence the path of the modern day (if you will) stories.
And now, I step off my soapbox.
If it IS an alternate timeline, I agree with you, they need to just call a spade a spade, but this story has been so veiled and we won’t know til it’s all said and done.
..From the Ashes Department..
Famke is going to be in X3
(Link sends you to Newsarama)
She’s in! That kind of seals the Phoenix storyline. So we have Gambit, Angel, Beast, and Phoenix. I make a prediction as a longshot that we are dealing with the Hellfire Club story. At least that’s what I pray in my sleep at night. Mainly so that I can see Emma.
…
God that came out sweaty. I’ll try not to do that again.. sorry. Iain, your opinion?
IAIN: This is a step back in the right direction, but Oi’m still not terribly excited about X3. A shame, since Oi loved X2. Oi’m Irish now, apparently.
Any opinion on the actual storyline?
IAIN: They said the Phoenix thing wasn’t the main story, which is just totally weird to me… I dunno, I’d quite like to see them do something with The Cure from AXM. That’d tie into the movie theme quite nicely and be a good setup for Beast… But then they’ll probably just do Logan Goes To Camp or some shit like that instead…
I think my Hellfire idea has more merit for bringing in Angel and Gambit though.
IAIN: They could introduce Angel as the head of Random Company investigating the mutant cure, have Beast as head science guy working for them and have Gambit as unwitting medical experiment guy. Then of course Angel and Beast would realise the error of their ways. Gambit would start losing his powers. Government dudes would get involved. Wolverine would cut something. Then bring on Deus Ex Fammke.
…but… Emma?
IAIN: Isn’t going to be around…
…bastard.
IAIN: I too like boobies.
Come on, unnecessary white lingerie and British accent?
Ugh. I got this vision of Emma as some Essex hag with crooked teeth and a beer belly.
Fine.. I relent.. I’m done.. thanks for taking the time out of your day to crush my dreams.
Here She Is, Rock You Like a Hurricane
There’s a new Scorpion about the make the scene at Marvel Comics, but this one isn’t packing a wallop in her tail, she’s got a lethal touch. Carmilla Black was a normal teen until her left arm turned deadly, now her life will never be the same! Writer Fred Van Lente is unfolding her saga in the pages of Amazing Fantasy with artist Leonard Kirk. Van Lente told us this is a “dark, modern fairy tale. You know, the old story about the adopted girl who finds out she’s really a princess, but with the Scorpion the story is much, much darker.”
Heroes don’t cry, but this lady just might. See if you can catch here with here hanky (and thus disprove her heroics) at The Pulse
TIM: This is neither here nor there, but did you know that in addition to the songs referenced above, the Scorpions also sang a song called “Robot Man”? Wow…way to bite off Styx you jerks.
Anyhoo…
First thing you have to do is scan the talkback section to see Comics Nexus’s very own Paul Sebert letting his voice be heard. And pimping the site at the same time in his sig. Good show, Paul.
Beyond that, I really found the information I shared about the Scorpions above to be more interesting than reading about this book. I do hope it finds an audience as all those involved (especially Kirk) have talent and seem to be genuinely classy creators. Sadly, I don’t expect that I’ll be amongst that audience. I do hope the idea of Amazing Fantasy hangs around for some time (introducing new characters into the Marvel Universe before spinning them off into their own books) and I hope that one of the future projects will draw me in. I also hope at some point they can distance themselves with the idea of using existing Marvel property names to create entirely new characters. Entirely new characters=great, but I fail to see how cannibalizing a hero or villains name for the project does anything at all for the future of the project.
I have to agree here – why do you need it to be Scorpion? Arana didn’t hold me, and I have a hard time believing this is going to either.
Jenkins, Buckingham Take One Last Spin in the (Metaphorical) Spider-Mobile
Marvel Comics has provided CBR News with six-pages from this month’s “Spectacular Spider-Man” #27, the final issue of the series that also wraps up Paul Jenkins’ five years as a Spider-Man writer. For this issue, Jenkins wrote a self-contained story and is reunited with artist Mark Buckingham.
Join the farewell tour backstage at Comic Book Resources
TIM: I haven’t glanced at the preview pages (beyond at their thumbnailed version) because I’d rather not spoil Jenkins/Buckingham’s last Spidey story (for the near future at least). After the mess of the Clone Saga and the failed (in my eyes) attempt to relaunch the titles that followed, it was this team’s first issue of Peter Parker that drew me back to the character. I always preferred Jenkins book to JMS’s (which I left after the first issue of the nuclear gangster but honestly never really clicked with) but I did lose touch with the book when it was relaunched as Spectacular and the art chores were taken over by Ramos who’s work on the book I found near impossible to deal with. Still, I kind of wish I stuck with it, especially after having checked in on the book again (the poker issue stands out as a typically enjoyable Jenkins work that reminded me how much I liked the book in the first place). So, it feels natural to pick up this last book. I suspect it will be my swan song from the mainstream Spidey books for awhile (possibly until Waid launches his title with Wieringo, post- House of M) so it nicely bookends things for me.
OPINIONS ON BOOKS BY PEOPLE WHO AREN’T CHUCK AUSTEN
GLA #1 (OF 4) –
Some people loved it, and some people hated it. The book, which at first glance was going to be an out and out parody of the Avengers: Disassembled actually has some heart to it. My opinion? It didn’t hold up.. but it’s not a book I was expecting huge things out of.
TIM: Nothing would make me happier than you just clicking over here to read my review so I don’t have to cut and paste it here. Thanks in advance.
POWER PACK #1 (OF 4)
Sexiest book of the week. I mean if you want some of the dirtiest things that Marvel has ever done… this is the book to read.
You want the real opinion? Check out some sexy guy’s review of it here.
STRANGE #5 (OF 6)
It’s well established that I mark like a dirty schoolgirl for anything that JMS puts in front of me. I’m completely at a loss of objectivity. So I enjoyed it. No, it’s not as good as Midnight Nation or Spiderman, but it’s a fun diversion.
ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #75
Danielle would tell you that this is why she reads comics. She gushed over this issue, and do you know why? It was solid. Harry Osborne has turned into a legitamitely scary villain this arc. Mainly because you know deep inside of himself he’s not a bad person – he’s just gone off the wacky end of crazytown. Read this title twice.. in case you missed the twist.
TIM: A solid effort if a bit slow. The revelation about Shaw is not something I saw coming but, at the same time, not nearly the shock that I think Bendis might have been going for. I sort of went, “Oh…huh,” and as opposed to “Oooooooooh, wow.” The ending promises much trouble for Peter next issue and I am interested to see what shape, exactly, that trouble is going to take.
MARVEL TEAM UP
I reviewed the first issue of this way back when and decided that the art was the only thing that really met my expectations. Having been let down by Kirkman’s Marvel work before, I walked away clean before I got too drawn in.
However, after reading plenty of reviews trumpeting how Kirkman “got” the Marvel U so well in this series and the inclusion of my favorite “cool costume but…” character Moon Knight, I figured what the heck. Maybe my initial judgment was wrong.
But no…after reading this issue, I stand by it.
Kirkman clearly loves the Marvel Universe, which is great, so do I. But all of his action seems to take place in a vacuum. The Marvel Universe has always been a place of consequence (much more than the DCU) no matter how cool it is these days to claim otherwise. It was a fun place, to be certain, but there was also always pain, loss and betrayal behind every corner. And it has been like that since Stan Lee first took the reins of Timely over and remade it in accordance with his vision. Kirkman’s stories are jokey throwbacks to a Silver Age Marvel that never existed. Just take a look at Moon Knight’s dialogue if you don’t believe. When has Moon Knight ever talked like that? Ever?
So, I gave it a second shot, but I still feel the same.
ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #5
I .. I errr.. didn’t read this. It’s sitting there on my pile of last week’s books. I MEANT to read it, but in all seriousness – I’m not picking this book up next month. Why? It just has sucked a big rock lately. The storytelling is so decompressed that I really believe most of this story could have been told in two issues, and minus some witty banter, you wouldn’t be missing ANYTHING. Call me when the title wakes up again.
X-MEN UNLIMITED #8
I’m reviewing this book later in the week, but I’ll tell you right now – I have NO idea why this title exists anymore. The stories really feel like they are supposed to be lessons on topics like Shakespeare, Robert Heinlen, or Opera that just happen to star X-Men. Whatever…
THE END…?
That’s that. Seriously, there is nothing else. I’m done. I spent half of this report talking about my geeky obsessions with Emma Frost. That should be enough for you all to realize there was absolutely NOTHING of substance this past week in terms of Marvel News. I do believe next week Mike is back – so I just want to thank the people who read the reviews by myself, and Danielle. Also a thanks to Iain for helping me inflate this issue a bit.
Also, a VERY special thanks goes to Mr. Tim Stevens for covering my ass last week. He is a real man. A man’s man. A true gentleman. A sport amongst sports. A buddy. A pal. Tim Stevens is the man who I want to have my babies.
Yep, we went there. Thanks for reading.
