WWE Velocity Report: April 30th, 2005
– Hello all, Josh “Repo” Leeman here, and welcome to my Velocity report at InsidePulse. From now on, I’ll be your InsidePulse recapper, along with the much funnier Tom Pandich. Here’s a little (Yeah, a little my ass…) about myself. I’ve been an InsidePulse fan since the beginning (I actually remember waiting for it to open.), and have been a pretty regular forumer for a long time, as “Repo” (What else?!). I’m 27, and I live in Long Island, New York. I’ve been a wrestling fan since around ’78, ’79, so I know my stuff. Mostly the WWF, but I also followed the AWA and NWA/WCW. I’m a big basketball fan, horror movie fan, and classic video gamer.
– Now, I’ll basically do the play by play, and I DO use the “Snowflake” system, and I think everyone knows how that works. I’ll also try to add my opinions on the subjects covered on Velocity, so let’s get it on!
– Your happy hosts are Steve Romero and Josh Matthews. Romero sucks. Atleast Matthews is improving.
– The Basham Brothers vs. Scotty 2 Hotty and Shannon Moore
Heh, this might be a good squash. Shannon and Doug start. Lockup, and Shannon starts armlocking. Doug counters with a headlock, himself. Shannon hits some armdrags, and he tags Scotty in. Scotty nails some armlocks and a fan fails at creating a “Scotty” chant. Yeah, I’m sure I’ll be getting up and rooting for him. Danny is tagged in, and we get MORE armbars and armlocks. Why does this match really suck so far? Doug in, and he rams Scotty’s shoulder to the buckle. Scotty reverses a headlock into a headlock of his own, and he quickly tags Shannon in. Shannon hits a crossbody, but Doug tags Danny in. Danny stomps and chokes him. He hits an elbow, and tags Doug. Double clothesline for 2. Headlock, and Shannon hits a sunset flip for 2, while Danny tags in. He stomps on him for 2. Chinlock…and a boot to the gut by Danny. Drop toehole, and Scotty in. Punches and backdrops for all who come! Shannon hits an in-air senton, and Scotty nails the bulldog. Scotty hits the W-O-R-M for 2. Scotty hits a schoolboy, but Danny reverses for the 3. *3/4. Lacked something…probably the lame slow offense and armbars are what really ruined it.
– Commercial Break.
– Recap of the Chavo vs. Paul London match from Smackdown. I’m not a big Chavo fan, so I’m happy London is still the champion. Problem is, all of the top contendors are always jobbing on dark matches and Velocity. Chavo doesn’t know that a title doesn’t change hands on a count-out?!
– Another commercial break…
– Slam of the Week, from 2 weeks ago?! MNM win the tag titles.
– Recap of Eddie/Rey feud. All I have to say, is thank goodness Eddie is turning heel instead of Rey. Rey is not heel material. Atleast all the “They keep interfering in each others matches.” shit is done with. This is way too much like the Hogan/Sid feud, if you think about it…
– ANOTHER commercial break. And it’s the same damn commercials.
– Nunzio and Funaki vs. Billy Kidman and Akio
Kidman’s even got an evil bread/crappy gangster rap song! Akio and Funaki start. Lockup, and Akio to the buckle. Akio hits some karate kicks and Funaki comes back with hiptosses and armlocks. Funaki with a kick, and Nunzio is tagged in. Double clothesline and an elbow for 2. Akio then nails a clothesline, and Kidman is in. Punches, and Nunzio is an huricanrana and dropkick for 2. Spinning heel kick for 2. Stomps, and Akio is tagged in. Standing stump puller is applied, and we get more stomps to the back. Nunzio to the buckle, and Akio with a superkick for 2. Akio with the boots, and Nunzio hits a facebuster, and tags in Funaki. Kidman is also tagged in, and Smackdown’s NUMBA ONE ANNOUNCA is on fire! Backdrops for all. He hits a bulldog, and an enziguri for 2. Nunzio and Akio brawl to the outside. Dropkick by Kidman. Kidman goes for the Shooting Star Press, but misses and Funaki nails a tornado DDT for the win! Great match! ***1/2. Hmm…Billy Kidman is going down the jobber food chain, jobbing to Funaki.
– Sneak peek at Cena’s new music video, with 80’s stars like MR. T AND GARY COLEMAN! I’m so watching the music video, when it debuts on SmackDown!
– Commercial break…by the way, the Truth commercials make me want to smoke out of spite.
– Fatal 4 Way match recap.
– Commercial break! That was like two minutes. Wow.
– Stack of the Night: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree.
– Charlie Haas vs. Orlando Jordan
Stallfest, to begin. Jordan tackles him down. Lockup, and Haas takes down Jordan with mat techniques. Orlando takes a break. Orlando with a shove, and both brawl. Thumb to the eye, followed by stomps and chokes. More stomps, and Orlando nails some boxing punches, and he does an ORLANDO SHUFFLE! YEAH! He tries a pin for 2. Chinlock to waste time. More stomps and slaps by Jordan. Haas to the buckle, and some clotheslines follow. Haas nails an elbow, and both men are down. Haas with Tomahawk chops (Oh f*cking please…) and a backbody drop. Sunset flip for 2. Haas hits a tornado DDT for 2. Bulldog gets 2. Suplex is blocked, and Jordan nails his own suplex for the pin. It picked up in the end, but the rest was very slow. *1/2.
– Steve and Josh close out.
– Overall: This was a pretty good show. Nothing really sucked, and the Cruiserweight tag team match was very good.
– Hey you! How ’bout sending me some feedback? Until Johnny Boy gets me an InsidePulse e-mail address, just give me my feedback at email@example.com . I’d love some feedback, and I’d like to know what you guys think about my re-cappin’ skills. I’ll accept critscism, as well, if you’re that type of person. Josh says, goodnight.