Max: You know, the one thing I can’t figure out are these girls real smart or just real, real lucky?
Hal Slocumb: Don’t matter. Brains’ll only get you so far and luck always runs out.
–Thelma and Louise
Aw, Steph. You had what it took, you really did: stellar athletic ability, fierce determination, enviably endearing dimples, and a charming East Coast accent. You even outwitted James (wait, was that hard?). The only thing you didn’t have on your side, that key ingredient necessary to progress in Survivor, was luck. Luck is the element that propels truly great players, such as the Outback’s Tina Wesson and Thailand’s Brian Heidik, into the winner’s circle. It also gives those who may have screwed things up, like Chris Daugherty, a chance to forge ahead and become millionaires (or at least $500,000-odd dollars richer after taxes) despite their errors.
I’m not a big believer in fate or karma, but I do think that some people are luckier than others. I think of one of my good college friends, who continually finds himself in bizarre, decidedly unlucky situations. A few years ago, his girlfriend was thrown in jail and broke up with him because she got caught up in a lesbian romance with her cell mate. To ease the pain, my friend decided to hop over to London and visit his fun-loving older brother who was sure to cheer him up. Right before the trip, he came down with iritis (inflammation of the iris) and flew across the Atlantic wearing an eye patch. At customs in Heathrow, he found out that his passport had expired, a detail that he and the customs officials who let him on the plane back in the U.S. had failed to notice. He was ordered to turn around and go straight back to the States. Upon entering his apartment, exhausted and disappointed, he discovered that a burglar had raided his liquor cabinet and DVD collection. He was left to sit at home alone drinking Crystal Light and reading a back issue of Reader’s Digest with his one good eye. That, my friends, is some bad friggin’ luck.
So what is my point here exactly, other than that one should always remember to renew a passport before jumping on a British Airways flight? Well, I guess it’s that for whatever reason, some people just have a tougher time of it than others. And I’m not making excuses for anyone who never flosses and then can’t understand why they have such a nasty case of gum disease. There are definitely trials that can be prevented, which is why I always buckle up and carry those little Listerine breath strips (because it’s important to be prepared when Orlando Bloom dumps Kate Bosworth again). There’s no reason to leave everything to circumstance.
Unfortunately, reality TV rarely mirrors real life and even though Stephenie was doing everything she could to stay in the game, it wasn’t enough. Many might argue that she could have made more of an effort to schmooze with the ladies or tossed her coconuts more carefully, although I totally sympathized with anyone who sucked at the immunity challenge because I have no aim and am the worst Skee-Ball player ever. No, I just think that even with all of her redeeming qualities, Stephenie had too many strikes against her.
I still can’t decide if Tom is in big trouble or not. He’s working several angles at this point, what with talking Caryn and sticking with Ian. However, I think that Ian’s getting ready to turn on him. And it’s probably because Tom refused to wash Ian’s neck. A little scrub session in the ocean could have made all the difference, but we’ll never know.
We may see how that pans out for Gregg, though. I didn’t see what the big deal was when Ian asked him to wash his back. Katie and Jenn got all giggly about it, even stating that they had “a secret alliance we didn’t know about.” But if Ian truly reeked as badly as Jeff Probst claimed, he might have been worried that if he asked one of the girls to help him, they’d be too grossed out to do it. Girls have a keener sense of smell and would more likely be offended by foul odors. It’s all about maintaining friendships and Ian is probably hip to the fact that he’s not getting any booty in Palau. Not while Gregg and Tom are still around, anyway. I mean, Ian’s cute and I love his upbeat attitude, but his remaining Koror brothers have cornered the market on the island’s stockpile of man candy.
And just how Caryn is playing the man candy is unclear. I didn’t understand why she revealed the possibility of a women’s alliance to Tom, even though she explained that she did it because she said she would. Huh? If Tom had asked her to let him know if anyone was taping “Kick me” signs to his back or slipping fleas into his shorts while he slept, that would be one thing. But confessing to secret plans that didn’t concern him? What gives? And Caryn’s an attorney. You’d think she could have at least found a way to stretch the truth a bit if Tom had insisted on an update, which he didn’t. I think she’s the next to go.
Of course, now that Steph is out of the picture, the fireworks should really begin. We’ll see who holds the luckiest hand and emerges the winner.
P.S. Was anyone else excited to see the food auction? There hadn’t been one since the Amazon and I just love watching them eat. It’s almost erotic.
