InsidePULSE’s WWE Smackdown Report

WWE Smackdown for May 5th, 2005. Taped from Trenton, New Jersey.
Report by Brad Jennette, EXCLUSIVELY for

Here I am, back again at InsidePulse. I tell ya, I’m like an crackhead fiending for some rock. Either way, this is my home and I always said I would make a triumphant return, so here I am.

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With that out of the way, lets get on with the show!

We open up with a video package. Eddy Guerrero refused to make the tag into the tag team match and instead walked out on Rey Mysterio as Rey caught a beatdown from the new tag team champions, MNM.

The opening video does not play tonight, instead we get Rey Mysterio walking slowly to the ring with his mad face on. Rey gets on the mic and he calls Eddy a great liar. Rey calls Eddy a coward and calls him out to the ring right now. Eddy slowly walks out with a stoic look on his face. The crowd chants “Eddy sucks” as Rey tries to get in Eddy’s face. Rey demands an explaination for Eddy’s actions last week. Eddy says he has NOTHING to say to Rey, holmes. Rey gets in Eddy’s face some more and talks about brotherhood and la familia and how those were apparently just words to Eddy. Rey says words don’t mean a damn thing to him anymore. Rey shoves Eddy in the chest, knocking him back into the ropes. Eddy says he never laid a hand on Rey like Rey just did to him. Rey says they are going to fight, and fight right now. Rey SLAPS Eddy right in the face to try and goad him into fighting. Eddy says he isn’t going to fight Rey tonight, tommorow night, or ever. Eddy turns his back on Rey and walks out and away from the fight in the ring. Eddy walks off to another “Eddy sucks” chant from the crowd.

Commercial break.

Backstage, Rey is in Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long’s office demanding a match with Eddy TONIGHT. Chavito comes in and says Rey has a lot of nerve slapping his uncle in the face. Chavo says Rey will never be one thing and that’s a Guerrero. Rey and Chavo come to blows in Teddy’s office before officials and agents finally break them up.

Matt Morgan vs Unnamed Jobber
Matt Morgan tells the jobber before the match to rrrrrrrun away because he is uuuuuuunstopable. Morgan headbutts the kid in the face then avalanches him in the corner. Morgan gets a strong corner clothesline and then hits what can only be desecribed as a reverse pump handle slam. Morgan finishes the jobber off with his new finishing move, The Speech Impediment (vertical suplex into a uranage).
Winner – Matt Morgan

Michael Cole and Tazz give us “breaking news” that Rey Mysterio and Chavo Guerrero will go head to head tonight in a street fight.

They show a short clip of the making of the “Bad, Bad Man” video from John Cena’s debut album. It’s 80s to the max.

Commercial break.

We get a recap of JBL winning a fatal four way match last week to become the #1 contender for the WWE champion.

United States Champion Orlando Jordan vs Booker T.
This is non-title. Orlando’s hair is as long as I’ve ever seen it right now. It’s long enough for cornrows I’d say. Anyway, backstage Booker is shown backstage getting pumped up with his wife Sharmell. Booker gets a fairly nice pop too. They lock up and Booker muscles Orlando into the corner, but breaks clean. Booker fires off a wristlock with chops and slaps. Orlando comes back and punches Book in the mouth and clotheslines him over the top rope. Orlando follows Booker outside and thumbs Book in the eye. Orlando slams Book into the apron, then into the ring post. Orlando rolls Booker back in and gets a 2 count. Orlando goes to a sitting chinlock but Booker fights out. Booker fights back with rights but Orlando counters to a rollup with feet on the ropes for a close 2 count. Orlando gets a hard lariat to send Book down and then follows it with some mounted punches. Orlando goes back to the chinlock and Book again fights out. Booker hits a flying forearm and a slam. Booker goes to the top rope but Orlando recovers and crotches Book on the top rope. Orlando follows Book up but gets thrown off. Booker hits a missle dropkick for a 2 and 3/4th count. Book goes for his scissors kick but misses it. Orlando goes for his finishing move, a flatliner I do believe, but Booker counters it to his scissors kick for the 1-2-3!
Winner – Booker T.

Backstage, Sharmell T is celebrating her man’s victory when Kurt Angle walks up. He accuses Booker of grand larceny because he stole Kurt Angle’s chance at the WWE title last week. Angle gets in Sharmell’s face and threatens to break Booker T’s ankle.

Commercial break.

MNM vs Scotty 2 Hotty and Shannon Moore
MNM has quite possibly the most creative entrance I’ve seen in a long time complete with a red carpet rolled out for them and paparazzi. Then Melina just makes my night by getting in the ring stripper style. Scotty and Mercury start us off. Mercury misses a blind tag by the faces and the faces clean house. Nitro gets a cheap shot and the heels take control. Nitro counters a crossbody with a knee, but Shannon is able to make a tag anyway. Scotty comes in and completely cleans house on the heels (no joke). Scotty hits the bulldog on Mercury and goes for the WORM. W-O-R-hot woman on the apron! Melina gets on the apron and pulls up her skirt for Scotty. This allows Nitro to attack from behind and the champions finish with their double team finisher Tazz explains is called The Snapshot.
Winners – MNM

Post match, Rey Mysterio races to the ring and cleans house with a lead pipe, extracting a little revenge from last week’s beatdown he suffered.

Commercial break.

DING DING DING DING! The TRUE WWE champion John Bradshaw Layfield comes out in the longhorn limo as Cole and Tazz mention this was SUPPOSED to be Cena’s segment. JBL gets on the mic and tells the crowd to show a little more respect. JBL says the peoples wants and the peoples needs are different things. JBL says he carries around the old title because he knows how everyone wants to chant his name. JBL steals Cena’s “THE CHAMP IS HERE” line. JBL says if anyone in the crowd would have gone what he went through, they would have quit. Just like they all quit at their jobs, their marriages, their dreams. JBL says he walked through Mysterio, Angle, Booker T, Eddy, and Big Show like Moses walked through the Red Sea. JBL says there is only one man left. JBL says Cena’s 15 minutes of fame is nearly up. JBL calls Cena the Buster Douglas of the WWE. JBL says that Cena will be forgotten after Judgement Day. JBL says that he is not only a survior, that he is a wrestling GOD. Cena comes out to a MONSTER pop. A nice “Cena” breaks out as he breaks out his “THE CHAMP IS HERE” line. Cena says that JBL isn’t a quitter. Cena starts doing finger quotations like “You don’t legally have a penis”. Cena says he isn’t a quitter either. Cena says that its time for he and JBL to finish this. Cena says that at Judgement Day, it will be an “I Quit” match. Cena goes all super intense as he sometimes decides to do and he gets in JBL’s face and proclaims that the last two words out of JBL’s miserable pathetic mouth will be “I Quit”. JBL looks shellshocked as we go to a….

Commerical break.

Backstage, MNM and Chavo are discussing presumably Rey Mysterio although we don’t actually hear what they are saying.

Kurt Angle vs Jobber
Angle tells the jobber that he is in no mood for a Kurt Angle Invitational tonight and he demands the kid get out of his ring. The jobber starts to get out as Angle calls him back in. Angle says he changed his mind as he pops the kid in the face with the microphone. Angle chokes the kid and thrashes him around on the mat. Angle chokes the kid with a guillotine and then rips at the poor jobber’s face. Angle hits the Angle Slam then slaps on the heel hook for the tapout.
Winner – Kurt Angle

Angle tells them to cut the damn music as he calls out Booker T. Angle is pissed off at Booker for costing him a shot at the WWE title. Angle demands Booker come to the ring and accept his challenge at Judgement Day. Booker comes out and accepts. Angle says that its took bad for Booker T. Not only is Booker going to get his ankle broken, but he has to go home with that “gutter slut” (censored). Booker takes exception to this and he rushes the ring. Booker beats Angle down from post to post and even lets Sharmell get in a few slaps on the outside. Booker sends Angle back into the ring, but Angle gets a ballshot and then the Angle Slam. Angle then turns his attention to Sharmell on the outside. He stalks her down the aisle as she slips and twists her ankle in her high heels. Angle just starts to put the ankle lock on as officials and agents pull him away. Booker T checks on his fallen wife as we go to a…

Commercial break.

They show a recap of the WWE’s tour of England, Ireland, Wales, and Italy.

Still to come tonight, the WORLD PREMIRE of John Cena’s “Bad, Bad Man” video.

Backstage, Eddy is sitting around looking stoic as usual. Chavo walks in and says Rey disrespected him in front of millions of people. Chavo mentions Eddy is a better man then he is…. ok. Blah segment.

Elsewhere, Carlito is walking to the ring with his apple in tow. Carlito returns to the ring against Hardcore Holly TONIGHT.

Commercial break.

Carlito vs Hardcore Holly
Apparently the Caribbean Cool part of Carlito’s name has been dropped. Hardcore grabs a headlock and then gets a shoulderblock. Carlito comes back with a hiptoss and then a LOUD chop in the corner. Carlito calls for “one more!” but Holly shrugs him off and just chops the shit out of him. Holly hangs Carlito on the ropes and kicks him in the nuts/gut for 2. Carlito comes back with a hotshot onto the top rope. Carlito goes to a neck vice, but Holly fights to his feet. Holly breaks it but Carlito goes to a sleeper. Holly counters with a back suplex. Holly sends Carlito down with a couple of lariats and a nice full nelson slam for a close 2 count. Hardcore goes up top and hits a nice flying clothesline for 2. Hardcore calls for the Alabama slam. Holly lifts Carlito into the air, but Carlito grabs the ropes and pulls himself onto the apron. Hardcore tries to suplex Carlito back into the ring but Carlito slips out and gets Holly into a backslide position. Carlito casually drapes his feet on the ropes and gets the 1-2-3!
Winner – Carlito

Post match, Carlito gets on the mic and says that his guest on the Cabana next week will be The Big Show. Carlito says he will make TBS an offer he cannot refuse, then he spits his apple into the camera.

Cena’s music video is next.

Commercial break.

Teddy Long is in the ring. He shills Cena’s CD that is dropping THIS TUESDAY. Teddy introduces us to John Cena’s new music video called “Bad, Bad Man”

As far as the video, it’s straight out of the 1980s. Personally, I don’t think Cena is THAT bad of a rapper but the song didn’t really do it for me. WHACHU TALKINBOUT GARY?

Street Fight: Chavo Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio
Rey comes out with his lead pipe in tow. Rey taps the steel steps a few times to prove that it is indeed real. Rey tosses the pipe away before the match like an idiot and Chavo stomps him down. Chavo stomps a mud hole in the corner but walks right into a drop toehold. Rey dropkicks Chavo right in the nuts (legal) and then hits a nice split legged moonsault. Rey tries a flying crossbody, but Chavo moves out of the way. Chavo tries a sunset flip but Rey rolls through and dropkicks him in the face. Rey goes to the apron and hits a springboard rana on Chavo that sends him to the floor. Rey goes for a plancha, but Chavo moves out of the way and Rey hits the floor hard. Chavo gets a chair and brings it into the ring, but Rey is able to knock it out of his hands before Chavo can do damage with it. Rey goes up top but Chavo COUNTERS WITH A DROPKICK. Nasty. Chavo throws Rey out of the ring head first and grabs a LADDER. Chavo talks trash to a fan and that allows Rey just enough time to dropkick the ladder into Chavo’s face. Rey sets the ladder against the ring, climbs, kicks Chavo back, and MOONSAULT PRESSES FROM THE LADDER. Holy shit that was a spot. Rey rolls Chavo into the ring and tries for the seated senton, but Chavo moves out of the way. Chavo hits a sliding dropkick to Rey’s face for a 2 count. Chavo picks Rey up but Rey comes back with a head scissors into the steel post. Rey finds the steel chair that Chavo brought into the ring over 5 minutes ago and Rey goes up top. Chavo sees him last minute and crotches Rey on the top rope. Chavo unfolds the chair and slams Rey’s face into it a couple of times. Chavo picks Rey up and hits a perfect gory bomb for a close 2. Chavo then motions to the back and MNM come out. MNM hold the ladder for Chavo to throw Rey into it but Rey counters and dropkicks the ladder into MNM’s faces. Rey comes back and knocks Chavo into the ropes. Rey goes for, but misses, the 6-1-9. Rey tries a spinning head scissors, but Chavo counters by dropping Rey right on his face! Goddamn! That gets a LONG 2 count. Rey comes back and hits a drop toehold that sends Chavo face first into the chair! Rey sets Chavo up sitting in the chair and then hits the springboard seated senton onto Chavo for the 1-2-3!
Winner – Rey Mysterio

After the match, MNM and Chavo jump Rey as he tries to fight them off. Rey is able to dump Chavo but the Tag Champs get the advantage. VIVA LA RAZA! Eddy races out and cleans house! Eddy dumps Mercury over the top rope and sends Nitro out with a right hand. Eddy picks up Rey and hugs him. Eddy grabs Rey by the head with his hands and whispers to him. Eddy then lariats Rey to the mat! Eddy beats Rey down in the ring and asks him if he wants to fight which is exactly what Rey asked Eddy in the opening segment. Eddy takes Rey to the outside and sends him face first into the ring post. Rey’s mask is ripped and his face is a a bloody mess. Eddy then completely the beatdown by hitting a VERTICAL SUPLEX ONTO THE RING STEPS! My god! Eddy stands tall over Rey as the camera cuts too concerned fans. What a great beatdown to end the show.

End of Show.