WWE Velocity Report: May 14th, 2005

WWE Velocity Report: May 14th, 2005

– Hey everyone. I’m back with the Velocity re-cap from hell, just for YOU. But first…let’s look in the mailbag and bring out the only letter I got:

To fulfill your plea for feedback, I’ll give some to ya. Nice job on the
recap. I, too, am liking the Rey-Eddie feud going on. Good stuff there. I
must say the JBL-Cena stuff just isn’t going anywhere. Cena’s “Bad, Bad
Man” video is a great example of the cheesiness of the A-Team. I actually
like that song better than his trumpet-blaring intro quasi-rap.

Just to go on a rant here:

Its too bad that the WWE can’t do anything exciting with their B-shows. They
are essentially the JV squads of each brand. Just like up here in the
midwest with high school basketball games, everyone comes to watch the
Varsity game, and catches the last half or quarter that’s left of the JV
guys. Its like you see who’s up & coming down the road, but with the JV
shows of the WWE, you can’t really get much of seeing who’s up & coming,
because they don’t do anything exciting with them. It’s too bad that
Smackdown can’t get a cruiserweight-only show and generate excitement around
that with their JV guys. The Raw brand could do the same thing for Heat,
developing angles around a similar title, or have a cruiserweight tag team
division be the speciality show there.

Taking this “JV” philosophy, why don’t they create the shows to be like a
‘minor league divison’, and have those rosters become select ‘free agents’
to show up on Smackdown or Raw. Bischoff and Long could be seen at ringside
or with the commentators, ‘scouting’ new talent now and then. It would give
the OVW guys a showcase to get to, and might generate more interest in those

This way, wrestlers could be ‘sent down to Heat’ or ‘sent down to Velocity’
as angles, making them fight through the ranks of those leagues to make
their way back to the big shows. Maybe you have the “Heat Champion” and
“Velocity Champion” of each division, making each show seem a bit more

Who knows what they will do.

Thanks for doing the recap,
Rick Karboviak”

I’m a big fan of that idea as well. That way, people like MNM will not get lukewarm reactions after being shoved into your face after 1 week.
However, I don’t like the “Velocity and Heat” titles portion of your idea, considering they’re too many belts around now.

Not only would it be a cool angle if they’re “Sent down to Velocity or Heat to fight their way up the ranks.”, but it would also help two things. First, it would get wrestlers over the old fashioned way.
Also, if the GM is a heel (Like in Bischoff’s case), then it would make the GM over as well, like an evil GM.

Got any thoughts on Rick’s idea? Just mail me. Anyway, onto the recap!

– Josh Mathews and Steve Romero are your hosts, as usual.

– Rene Dupree vs. Shannon Moore.
But first, Steve starts hitting on Josh. What, did Heidenreich give him tips or something? I was expecting him to read a poem… Lockup, and Moore is sent to the buckle. Dupree misses a charge, and Moore tries a schoolboy roll-up for 2. Dupree starts slapping him, and he starts pounding on Moore. Moore then gets sent to the outside, and is still getting beaten on by Dupree. He gets sent in, and tries punching Dupree, but Dupree nails a spinebuster, and a couple of punches for 2. Moore nails clotheslines out of nowhere, and hits a neck breaker (Called the Mooregasm) for 2. Dupree sends Moore to the second buckle, and rests him on there, but Moore hits a flying headscissors for 2. He sends Dupree to the ropes, and Dupree nails a Dupree driver for the pin. Not bad for what it was, but slow at certain points. Mostly during when Dupree was in charge. Other than that, it was fine. **1/4.

– Commercial Break.

– Eddie Guerrero gets psycho on Smackdown. Call me crazy, but this weird psycho Eddie stuff is going to get silly and get really ridiculous soon. The whole stealing mask thing was cool and all, but Eddie is really bad at being serious, and is really only very funny sometimes. “LOOKATMEWHENI’MTALKINGTOYOU!!!”

– Billy Kidman and Akio vs. Nunzio and Mark Jindrak.
One of these is not like the others… I guess Funaki wasn’t Italian enough. And here I thought last week’s angle was going somewhere. Kidman and Jindrak start. They go for a lockup, and Jindrak obviously wins that. Kidman gets pissed and starts nailing some punches, but Jindrak hits a dropkick (!). Nunzio gets tagged in, and he hits a neckbreaker for 2. Akio is tagged in, and Nunzio gets a headscissors on him right when he walks in. Akio and Kidman try a doubleteam, but it fails. Roll-up by Nunzio afterwards gets 2. He tries a small package, and that gets 2. Akio with a thumb to the eye, and he hits a suplex for 2. Kidman tags in, and he hits a slam for 2. Nice and exciting chinlock to marvel the crowd. He sends Nunzio to the ropes, who hits a sunset flip for 2. Akio hits a karate kick for 2. Akio runs in for the double team for 2. Slaps, and Nunzio hits a legdrop from the second turnbuckle out of nowhere. Akio and Mark Jindrak are now in, again. Jindrak nails a bunch of kicks, clotheslines, suplexes, and back bodydrops. Avalanche and a punch get 2 for Jindrak. All 4 men are now in the ring. Nice doubleteaming, and Nunzio takes Akio out of the ring. Flying clothesline from the top rope by Jindrak gets the 3. Hey, this was a very good match. Nothing too bad here, and Jindrak wasn’t even in for too long. Great match, Velocity’s best match in May this month. ***1/4.

– Commercial Break.

– John Cena’s music video, AGAIN. Alright, we get it. It’s not funny anymore, except for Gary Coleman. Yeah, I’m so buying that CD.

– Basham Brothers vs. Jose and Joel Maximo.
Jesus, how am I going to tell ANY of these guys apart?! Doug and Jose start. Doug starts tackling him down. Jose escapes, and hits a high cross body from the top rope. Doug escaps and tags Danny, who starts pulling the hair. Nice back suplex and stomps by Danny. Joel tries to fight back with some chops, but he falls victim to a nice clothesline by Danny. Doug in. Some double teaming ensues. He hits a nice back suplex as well, and distracts the ref for more double-teaming. Danny is tagged in. He hits lots of punches, and a russian leg sweep. It then turns into an abdominal stretch. Kneelift, and Joel runs into Jose who tags himself in, finally. Yikes, he runs into a leg lariet for the 3. Eh, it was there, but it was too much of a squash match. The Maximo’s barely got any jobber offense. *1/2.

– Commercial Break.

– WWE Rewind: Kurt Angle wants to have monkey sex with Booker T’s wife, Sharmell.

– Booker and Angle fought on Smackdown. Angle stopped the match, and snuck to Booker’s locker-room. He then sneak attacks him. All we’re missing is the “Sharmell on a pole” stipulation, and we’re all set.

– Commercial Break.

– Slam of the Week: Cena beats up on JBL.

– Orlando Jordan vs. Scotty II Hotty.
No idea on if it’s for the U.S. Title, but it doesn’t matter anyway. Lockup, and a hiptoss by Orlando. He takes Scotty down, sends him to the ropes, and hits a few shoulderblocks. Scotty hits a hiptoss. He then starts kicking and leg sweeps him. Scotty hits a flying head scissors, but misses a charge and hits the turnbuckle pole. Ooh, didn’t like that. Orlando then starts armlocking him and punching him, before a slugfest ensues between both men, with Scotty winning. Elbow and a backbody drop by Scotty. Scotty then nails a superkick. He goes for the bulldog, but Jordan nails the DDT for the win. Hey, I liked it. Not slow or anything, but Orlando needs to work on his skills. **1/4.

– Josh and Steve say goodbye.

– Best Velocity in my tenure here. 3 out of the 4 matches were **+ this week, with a great ***1/4 Cruiserweight + Jindrak tag team match. I’m hoping more shows turn out like this one. Thumbs up this week. How ’bout some feedback? You know the address. Josh saying ‘night.