A Wrestling Column: Door Matt

What a chump that Matt Hardy is. What a loser. What a joke.

Brother lost to drugs and general weirdness? Check.

Love of his life lost to one of his best friends and co-workers? Check.

Dream job lost as a result of talking about his anger at the betrayal? Check.

Love of his life and former best friend now headed to the top of the company in an angle designed to take advantage of the public knowledge of the betrayal? Check.

Love of his life French kissing former best friend on television? Check.

Yeah, that about does it. “The Scar Will Become A Symbol.” Matt Hardy was coming back with a dumb vengeance/protect the little guy gimmick (and come on, you can’t get much smaller than Matt Hardy) with that tagline based on his knee scar. Yeah, base a career on a scar, that’ll sell out the Civic Center. I think it’s the mental scar that people care more about right now.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking they care about you Matt. Don’t get me wrong, I do. I’m a very big fan of both Matt Hardy the person and Matt Hardy the wrestler. I know I’m not alone, that you had a percentage of the fans who were loyal followers of Mattitude. But the people who are chanting at Lita and Edge, well, it could have been Rico. It could have been Nikoli Volkoff. It could have been The Goon. It’s not that you were hurt, it was that those two f*cked around on a guy and the guy got fired. It’s not you, it’s the situation.

Matt, I learned something a long time ago and it’s time for you to do the same. Being a good person, being true to your love and loyal to your friends and taking time for your fans and getting involved in anything that you care about that doesn’t benefit you, it gets you f*cked over. No good deed goes unpunished, and no good life lived gets to be that way unless you have to shoulder the shit of the world without cracking. Cracking doesn’t involve going on the Internet and talk shows and trashing your ex and her lover and helping their careers in the process. Cracking doesn’t mean removing pictures from a website. Cracking doesn’t mean having only complimentary things to say about the pricks who fired you. You said you wish you had a chance to talk to Vince and JR. You didn’t, and you’d better believe they had the opportunity to set a meeting like that up. You admired and looked up to them and gave your body, heart and soul to them and the company and they let some nobody cast you aside like you were nothing. Cracking doesn’t mean remarking you’re still on friendly terms with the ex and then watching her French him on cable television.

So Mr. Hardy, here is the best advice you will ever get. Crack.

Break down. Destroy something and break a much needed part of your body in the process. Turn to alcohol, turn to drugs. Go ahead and slash those tires they accused you of slashing. Hell, cut the brakes. Go f*ck his wife and film it and put THAT on the Internet. Turn into what you always feared you’d become if you lost everything, because everything is gone. There’s no reason to be a nice guy anymore. TNA? You could have a needle full of heroin sticking out of the vein in your cock and they’d still give you the world title. Crack now and thank me later.

I’ve read all of the commentaries. After the initial shock and support, the Internet has had time to process what has happened. The Internet is turning on you. It’s now your fault for opening your mouth. If you were smart you’d beg Vince for your job back and work a huge money program with Edge. Every word you say digs you into a deeper hole, you never had any talent, you won’t be missed.

Fuck them.

They don’t get it Matt, and I probably don’t either. My losses have been small in comparison to yours. Never having my dream job doesn’t compare to having it and losing it. Breaking up with my love doesn’t compare to finding out she screwed around on me. Being betrayed by my friend over a matter of money is something we reconciled. Being betrayed by your friend in this way… I couldn’t fathom it. All of that pain and hurt and despair and you’re stupid for telling the world? Those who say that have never lost as you have. They don’t understand what it would be like for you to be in the same locker room as Edge. And the ones who have lost it all and come after you, they are hypocrites. You did nothing wrong, and I completely understand the joy you get when you hear the crowd chant at them. You gave it all away so you can hear that chant, but it’s backfiring. Time to really crack.

Matt, you have been one of the good people to your fans, but where are they now? Chanting at Edge and Lita. The question I’d be asking myself is why are they even at the show at all? If they really supported you, wouldn’t they deprive WWE of their money in a form of protest? You have lost them to the situation, which is too juicy for fans of yours to step away from. They want to see Edge and Lita hooking up on camera more than they want to see you and Christopher Daniels fight in a high school gym. They’re gone too. Crack.

If you continue to hold it in, if you go on the indy circuit as the Punisher Matt Hardy, you won’t last. You’re not the Punisher, you’re the nice guy who got f*cked around on. How long until you think hear the first, “LITA SCREWED EDGE” chant? Staying strong in this situation will only make you look like more of a chump, more of a pussy. It’s time to burn a f*cking effigy of both of them at an indy show. It’s time for you to publicly say that you’d kill Edge if you ever saw him in the street, and then when someone asks if you wouldn’t really kill him, you break that person’s nose. You need to fall. You need to show your loss. You need to crack and crumble and fall to pieces and become a shell of a man you once were. You need to empty out all of that hate, that jealously, that righteous anger until there is nothing left but a stomach full of booze and a string of burnt bridges and bad decisions. You need to crack and become empty. And once you’re empty, once there’s nothing left, once you’re a punch line in the history books, that’s when you’ll discover who you truly are.

A good man becomes great when he overcomes adversity. The best people must go through the worst and give in to their demons. I could care less about your wrestling career. I will continue to follow it and try to come see the shows when you come to NYC, but this article isn’t about your career. This is about your life. Matt, you need to let go and give in to it. They’ve taken only so much. You need to give them the rest. You need to do this so you can be the person we can look up to, the person who we can be proud to support.

You need to fall so you can rise. Then you’re an inspiration. Right now you’re just a chump who got f*cked around on.

Good luck Matt Hardy.

I want to thank all of the fans who have read me over the past few years. I will never forget you. Thank you for letting me into your homes, making me a part of your life. You changed mine.

Just a quick rundown of other people I’d like to thank.

I want to thank Widro for always being there. You were a good webmaster. I hope one day the site hits it huge.

I want to thank Daniels. Grutman vs. Daniels was my favorite column to write.

Matthew Michael was one of my favorite people to work with and talk to. Thanks for being my pal and getting me off my ass to write every now and then.

I want to thank Carlos. He was my first friend at 411. I wish I hadn’t have gotten “popular”. You were all the crew I’d ever need as far as website stuff goes.

I want to thank all the people who helped me write my column. Randle, Blade, Gloomchen, Dino, the funniest guy in the world I can’t believe I forgot the name of, Eric S I think once, Morse, Flea, Dead Ron Gamble and everyone else.

I want to thank Chris Hyatte for discovering me and getting me a slot. It was an honor to fill in for the Midnight News.

Socko and Coren. You guys ruled. Thanks for being fans.

I want to apologize to Stone Cold Steve Austin and Justin Bradshaw Layfield. Yeah, you two f*cked up, but we should be fans first. We can criticize, but what I wrote was way out of line. Hopefully you don’t know I exist and are not reading this now, but what I wrote was designed to incite a mob. That’s irresponsible.

Thanks to the fans who helped my friend. You did a great thing for someone who needed it.

The fans who supported my plays. Thanks for making my dream come true.

Finally, I’d like to thank one man who made it all possible, with out whom I’d never have been able to write as much as I did. He is a class act, a gentleman, and I am so sorry he recently lost his job when his wife had sex with Edge. He never should have gone public with it, but he did and Lance Storm was fired.

I tried to get off the site in a less public fashion, and I could say I came back for one more column for you, to give you a proper goodbye, but the simple truth is that I’m an attention whore, and the first time I got a free two hours I wrote this. But no excuses, no explanation. Just goodbye and thank you. I wish you all the best.

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