The Midnight News 05.23.05

It’s good to have you back. This site sucks without your column.

-Derek

Awwwwwww, you liar… the site sucks with or without me.

Hey stupid, Trisha Stratus has pretty much ran her course in the WWE. There are no women for her to wrestle, she’s posed in every single bikini know to man. There is nothing left and she will be release in 2006. I hate you Hyatee, you stupid scumbag, coward who hides behind a comouter and doesn’t even have the nerve to show your picture you stupid beeyotch. Are your parents brother and sister??? they must be to have someone like you!

Are you related to to Rick Scaia. Because both of you are ass whipe douche bags.

TNA still keeps ticking. You will be saying TNA’s goibg out of business for 10 years. Can you get Mr. McMahon’s Shlong out of your mouth. Listen stupid. They made not take a point away but I garanteed you that in the fall of 2006 the NFL monday Football on ESPn will take LOTS of point from the almighty raw!
Again, can you take out Triple H’s Shlong out of your mouth. And rinse with some mouthwash BITCH!

Larry Tenelanda

I do NOT hide behind my comouter! And Stratus just signed a 4 year deal with the company… she isn’t going anywhere unless she really does something stupid.

I agree about Rick Scaia, but please don’t accuse me of being related to him.

Oh, and my pic is around… heh…. just around to the right people…

The following is three e-mails from one guy… condensed

Nice column…………..

You copy and paste rumors about the Star Wars crew from The A List page, you know this one, and don’t even credit it. Nice going. I also see you can’t close your HTML tags either. Is it that hard to run your shit through a checker before you post?

Because you honestly can’t say you spend much time actually writing anything new for your columns when you cut and paste 3/4 of the stuff on there to begin with and the original content is usually Flea saying something that no one cares about.

Beyond that, I say you suck as always. Plus getting a blow job from a male prostitute doesn’t really count for sex in the real world, but it’s about as good as it gets for you I guess.

You silly assholes should have brought over (a certain 411 writer) in the split. Goes to show that whoever runs IP has no idea what true talent is. At the very least he posts something good and original every week. Between you and Eric, it’s like a cut and paste-athon for the mentally handicapped. Severely handicapped at that.

Also, no one has cared about Flea for a long except you and Widro.

What news do you exactly report? I see you asking about the right time to call Sytch for a date, factoids that are suppose to make us smarter, Flea, C&P from the A-list, C&P from HTM’s web page. Doesn’t look like “news” to me.

Running a column through a HTML checker takes a few seconds. There is zero excuse for HTML f*ck-ups. You’re lazy plain and simple.
You really must now learn to live with the fact that (a certain 411 writer) owns you now. The fact 411 continues to kick IP’s ass even with all the so-called “name” writers leaving is pretty f*cking funny. I see you don’t quote your holy Alexa figures anymore, what’s wrong? Things not going as planned?
Pity.

…only Widro wants your sorry ass I would take (a certain 411 writer) and (ANOTHER certain 411 writer) over you anyday.

Scott

In three letters he specifically mentioned a certain 411 writer and how he rules over me.

The problem is, son… I really can’t sit here and care that there are other people who write about professional wrestling better than me. Those days are loooooooong over for me. If someone out there gives enough of a shit to write detailed, original essays on why the WWE sucks now… they are more than welcomed to.

The SECOND problem is, son… you specifically referenced someone in THREE straight e-mails to me… which either makes you his boyfriend or the person himself looking for a mention.

Oh, and Widro didn’t form IP to destroy 411… especially since he still pretty much does all the admin work at 411.

I’ll be doing a full Alexa report in the near future, actually… but it’s a spyware warzone… so it’s not recommended to make it a dialy visit.

I’m sure SOMEONE other than me and Widro cares about what Flea has to say… they just prefer to read him in the small, hilarious, doses I provide rather than reading his full columns.

Hello Fleafans! I’m Chris and this is the Midnight News. Yes, NEWS… NEWS!!! And other stuff meant for your delight… got quite a bit going into this week… and some other stuff… and this… and that… and these… and those… tons… off we go.

P.S. My new e-mail address is an old one that some of you might remember… Glorydogfu@yahoo.com… the one I usually use is screwed up and it might take a while to fix… just a reminder, yo

THE REAL JUDGMENT DAY WAS WHEN THEY WERE SWITCHED TO FRIDAYS

Let’s get this straight… I NEVER order a Smackdown PPV, and would only order a Raw show if the card was loaded…

But I decided to give Judgement Day a whirl… I actually did watch it… and I LIKED IT….

Before I touch on some thoughts… let me say that since it’s glaringly obvious that the WWE will have to shop Smackdown to a new home come next year, I wuld not be surprised if they re-write the draft and get MORE, MORE, MORE stars on the Blue crew… I mean the HEAVYWEIGHTS… they have to now make SD WAAAAY more attractive to cable networks… so they’ll need to make it the flagship for a while… I’m talking maybe HHH, maybe Trish, maybe HBK, maybe Jericho… and if the Rock ever decides to show up for a quick program, he’ll be showing up on SD too. Make no mistake, kids… this is serious… without a REAL home for this brand, they might have no choice but to re-combine. I’m going to bet a HUGE upswing of talent on SD… Raw will just have to make do with a much smaller top-draw crew for a while.

Anyway, some thoughts on the show…

-MNM defeated Haas and Holly… this Melina is for real… she’s the next big chick… she’s got charisma, is a MAJOR hottie, knows how to work the mic, is young, has huge tits, and is pulling off a J-Lo thing. She’s GOING to get into the same level as Sunny, Chyna, Sable, Trish, and Stacey. I don’t care about Nitro or Mercury… Melina is the one to watch here. She’s for real.

-Carlito pinned the Big Show. I can see why Carlito is given such a prominent role here. He reminds me of the type of performer Roddy Piper was when Piper first started in the WWF. No one expects him to win a damn match but he’s going to win a TON of them… he’s also a riot on the stick and the apple gimmick is cool. He’s more talk than work but he knows how to make the most out of his skills and lack of huge body. Carlito has managed to look like a cruiserweight yet work with the heavyweights. He’s another one with a bright future.

-Paul London is going to kill himself in order to stay employed. He also looks a little like Johnny Damon.

-The whole Angle Obsession with freaky deaky sex with the black chick was pretty much a complete reversal of everything that made up Angle’s character for the last 5 years… but the boy knows how to put on a show… and he’s one of the precious few workers who can lose a LOT of matches and not drop a single notch down the ladder.

-Heidenreich is a juiced up Bushwacker… and if Vince had any balls he’s have the big guy beating up only Jewish wrestlers.

-Orlando Jordan looks like a mongoloid.

-Eddie and Rey didn’t draw me in as much as they would’ve drawn in the viewer who kept closer tabs on this ongoing drama. I also didn’t like the DQ ending. A match that goes that long deserves a clear cut winner.

-Bradshaw is the best character in the company… he has his gimmick down COLD and you never… NEVER catch him over-acting or underacting. Every time he is on camera… even while working, he is on-the spot with his character… even the ending, where he stopped the match cold by saying, “Okay son, I quit” was dead on PERFECT for him. The sumbitch may be the best ACTOR in the business… he is totally Method.

-Hell of a match, too… both men proved something tonight.

-The only problems I had with the show was that there were no Divas (they have more hotties here than Raw does, why not use them?) and the Undertaker really should have made a cameo at least… he IS the biggest name on the brand (for the moment, at least)

Anyway… this… this Melina girl… oh my GOD…. does she HAVE an AIM screen name? Yahoo? MSN??? I… I need to talk to this girl…

I’ll need some more time to think this out… but… well, let me put it this way…. until now there hasn’t been anyone… ANYONE in wrestling who even came CLOSE to making me say “Trish who”…. until now…. maybe…. possibly… perhaps.

Yeah, I need some more time with this one before I decide…

EXTREMELY COSTLY WRESTLING

This is the funniest story of the week…

The IWC is FREAKING because the WWE has the NERVE to charge up to $400 for the big ECW One Night Stand re-union… the old farts at PWInsider specifically are up in arms…

Anyone who knows anyone in the WWE are already begging them for some free tix… or a cheap “hook-up”

How nuts is this? The girl who lurks about online pretending to be Trish Stratus has been asked by a suckered fan to hook him up with some tix.

$400… the NERVE, the PERFIDY, how DARE they charge hardcore ECW fans THAT MUCH money for a show that is literally four years in the making and was something people have been DROOLING for since the company went out of business.

It’s hilarous… it’s AWESOME for two reasons…

1) SOOOO many people have been complaining… bemoaning the prices, SOBBING that they won’t be able to go because they can’t afford it. All that goes to show is that NONE and I mean NONE of these hardcore ECW fans have taken the last four years to better themselves and improved their lives… they were broke-ass BITCHES then, and they are broke-ass OLDER bitches now. Yeah, you… Mr. EC F’N’ W… what’s the matter… haven’t gotten a raise? haven’t invested properly? Haven’t left the basement? Can’t stand that the WWE doesn’t go old school and honor ECW by charging $100 for the front rows and $20 for everywhere else? Did that douchebag hippie who showed up to every show ever cut his hair? Did those two morons with the gay hats and the Hawaiian shirts ever go shopping for clothes? This is a class reunion… a CELEBRATION of a grass roots company that came damn close to making it permenantly big time (with the WWE’s help, of course… Vince fronted Heyman secretly for years)… this is NOT a recreation of 1998… it’s an HOMAGE… it’s not a time travel… it’s a look back.

IT’S NOT THE WWE’S FAULT YOU WORTHLESS FUCKHEADS DIDN’T MAKE ANYTHING OF YOURSELVES!! PAY THE FUCKING TICKET OR DON’T GO!!!!!!

2) As I mentioned, the idiots who are throwing the hissiest of fits are Dave Scherer, Buck Woodward, and Mike Johnson from PWInsider. Why? Is it because they are SPEAKING FOR THE FANS, as dave likes to say? No, it’s because the WWE won’t COMP them freebies like Heyman always did. They ain’t getting in for free like they used to… they have to PAY JUST LIKE EVEYRONE ELSE (and that hypocrite Johnson already has front row tickets… he paid, oh yes… every dime). Scherer’s outraged because the WWE is doing this ECW thing without HIM… how DARE they.

A bunch of bitter…. pissed off…. OLD… FAT… MIDDLE AGED… self-inflated cocksuckers… that PWInsider crew.

Furthermore… as is USUAL with this IWC crew, everyone is ALREADY declaring the ECW PPV a disaster because they promoted it by having Chris Benoit climb a ladder and get ready to dive on Tajiri who was on a table. “VINCE DOESN’T GET IT”, they scream! “VINCE HAS NO CLUE WHAT ECW IS ABOUT!!!”

Of course, Paul Heyman, who is doing most of of the SCRIPTING of this show knows what ECW is about, but why let THAT fact get in the way of a good whinefest…

Just so none of you will be led astray… here’s the deal… ECW WAS about senseless violence… ALL of wrestling is about senseless violence… but what ECW was REALLY about was putting on a show for the fans… making the fans who were watching come FIRST… doing things the “corporate” wrestling companies wouldn’t allow… it was hardcore because they answered to NO ONE but themselves… and if that means Benoit dives off a ladder and onto a table, if that’s what it took to make a new ECW memory to go in the pile they made… then that’s what Benoit does. The ECW philosophy is plain and simple… it’s “Fuck it”

ECW’s “One Night Stand” will be a great show and everyone will praise it… Bischoff is going out there that night because they need an enemy… they need a bad guy… they need a HEEL… just one.

Scherer and Woodward might be there, but they’ll probably be watching it at home… and they HATE THAT… well f*ck it. The show isn’t for those assholes who used the company as a springboard to further their own lame-ass IWC careers… it’s for the people who want to look back and remember when everyone involved just said “Fuck it”.

They should’ve charged $600… just to see which one of these loser fans would’ve robbed a liquor store in order to get it.

Gonna be a great show.

THE BRAND SPLIT IS BETTER FOR YOU

I, for one, am so sick and tired of all these IDIOTS claiming that the Brand Extension should be discontinued and re-combined. Thus, I give you this ongoing gimmick.

Every week, I shall list one good reason why the Brand Extension is THE BEST THING THE WWE HAS DONE IN YEARS (other than hire Stratus), and why useless sheet writers like Wade “” Keller and worthless net writers like Dave “One Night Only’ll suvck because I can’t get free tix” Scherer have shown their TRUE “intelligence” by holding onto this cheap, rushed, complaining for the sake of complaining ideal.

Pay attention and you’ll understand why you dumb f*cking sheep are listening to morons.

The Brand Split Is Better For You Because…

Come on… most of you losers ain’t going out on Friday nights anyway.

THIS HAS BEEN “THE BRAND SPLIT IS BETTER FOR YOU” STARRING RAW AND SMACKDOWN! WRITTEN, DIRECTED, AND PRODUCED BY CHRIS HYATTE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

A FUN FACT THAT WILL MAKE YOU LOOK SMARTER

*The Chinese ideogram for ‘trouble’ depicts two women living under one roof..*

And just like that, you’re smarter than you were three seconds ago

Hyatte LIVES to inform.

Heh heh heh…. them Chinks know the SCORE, baby… ha

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO FLEA

Whenever we talk, I can always count on Flea to give his opinions on just about anything. And those opinions are usually extremely fascinating to listen to. It also allows me to go to the toilet or something while he lectures on.

So, I decided to grab a pen and paper and start jotting down his thoughts. Everyone likes Flea.

The following is 100% true… more or less:

WHERE DOES FLEA STAND ON…

Ice Cream?

Haagen Daaz. Only commoners would eat that low-budget Ben and Jerry’s happy crappy horseshit.

Flea, who knows how to cook a nice cube steak dinner.

THE REAL TRAGEDY IS IN MY PANTS

Because… well hell, they had to do SOMETHING with this…. the WWE hooked Lita up with Edge, made her a Heel, and essentially told Matt Hardy to go f*ck himself.

Hardy, because he wants his POUND OF FLESH and wants to bitch at SOMEONE, had a comment on the incident:

I don’t know about you guys, but in my opinion, the ending of Raw was tasteless and deplorable. It’s literally sickening to see a real life tragedy exploited as a wrestling angle.

Not just sickening… LITERALLY sickening.

The problem here is… this is NOT a tragedy and I’M sickened… not LITERALLY sickened, but sickened, by some yokel using the word “tragedy” to describe his woman being seduced and swept up by another man.

A Tragedy isn’t a girl leaving you especially when there was no legal ties… you want some REAL tragedy? Fine…

-A Tragedy is being detained and questioned by cops because you were seen loading up on Sudafed and suddenly, you’re a Crystal Meth dealer.

-A Tragedy is shaving your pubes in order to squeeze another half inch in cock size.

-A Tragedy is having to listen to some dead drunk redneck explain to you over the phone why he’s better than you

-A Tragedy is learning that Smackdown is moving to Friday nights and not worrying about missing a single episode

-A Tragedy is believing for one second that a girl who is way out of your league really likes you and isn’t just playing with your head.

-A Tragedy is when you have to shave your head bald to hide the grey and the recession and try to pull off 5 years younger.

-A Tragedy is the very moment you realize that this is the best you can ever hope for

-A Tragedy is when you realize that you’ll be just as bad a parent asd your parents were

-A Tragedy is when your daughter brings home her first boyfriend, and he’s BLACK.

-A Tragedy is when you visit a gay bar out of pure “curiousity”

-A Tragedy is when you realize that anything under four hours of sleep just won’t work.

-A Tragedy is when you go out clubbing and realize you don’t fit in.

-A Tragedy is that TNA might sucker Spike into a TV show

-A Tragedy is that everyone you grew up with on TV is dying.

-A Tragedy is when you realize that you’ve been screwing the same woman for 10 years and you’re too damn old/fat/ugly to find something new/younger

-A Tragedy is when every goddam piece of food you eat takes longer and longer to burn off

-A Tragedy is when Michael Jackson is found not guilty

-A Tragedy is when you AREN’T ashamed to admit to people you meet in real life that you like wrestling

-A Tragedy is when you let some nutjob spread nonsense about you and won’t fight back because you have a heart and feel bad for them

-A Tragedy is when you know you lost it but can’t give up the ghost for some reason.

-A Tragedy is 9/11

-A Tragedy is four hurricanes in a row.

-A Tragedy is when you haven’t progressed enough in life to be able to afford $300 tickets to a wrestling show that you lived for 4 full years ago.

-A Tragedy is cumming WAAAAAAAAY too early

-A Tragedy is cumming again WAAAAAAAAY too early

-A Tragedy is being so nervous about cumming WAAAAAY too early that you don’t cum at all

-A Tragedy is believing that the stripper really likes you

-A Tragedy is not knowing what Little John means when he says: “skit skit skit skit skit skit skit skit

-A Tragedy is when the rubber breaks and Jesus Christ, you ain’t about to have any sort of long term relationship with the one it broke in on.

And so on and so forth…

So you see, my friends… this whole Hardy/Lita/Edge/Vince thing is NOT a tragedy…. it’s a comedy… perpetuated by hardy’s incessant dickless whining. STOP IT, MATT… JUST STOP IT.

Oh… wait… there IS a tragedy here…

-A Tragedy is when it’s GLARINGLY obvious that NO ONE in the WWE knows how to kiss on camera… for years, starting with Vince and Trish, the only sort of hot kisses we’ve seen are: A: The Guppy-out-of-the-water-life-sucking-kiss where both parties try to eat each other’s face (Trish/Vince, Lita/Edge, Nidia and Everybody) or B: The-seal-my-lips-tighter-then-a-5-year-old’s-hymen-until-my-lips-turn-white (Christian/Trish, Kane/Lita) OR C: The Combination-Come-In-Mouth-Gaping-Wide-The-Snap-Lips-Shut-An-Instant-Before-Contact Kiss (Trish/Rock, Trish/Jericho, Trish/Jeff Hardy… Jesus, is there anyone this girl didn’t hook up with?)

A LIVE MIC = DANGER

This time out, well… its the same damn thing, wrestling quotes from yesteryear… including lines from guys YOU have NEVER heard of!!

01): I’m the only man you wouldn’t want to wrestle…if I was in shape.– Billy Whatson

02): What can I say about this move? Nothing, so I won’t.– Randy Savage on the Beverly Bros’ finisher: WWF TV: late 80’s

03): Kurt Angle, you think you’re really special because you’ve cashed in on the services of one Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, a two dollar no, a fifty cent no, buy two get one free does any one have change for a nickel skank ass slut?-The Rock

4) Friday was Atlanta. That was fifteen bucks. Once a month, we made a six hundred mile trip from Indianapolis down to Atlanta, and at fifteen dollars, by the time you feed yourself and buy gasoline, you’re minus about ten bucks.– Lou Thesz

05): I want to try to, United States, explosion matches. The first time I talked a long time ago, six years ago, I talked to Vince McMahon. The first time I talked to him, I went to office, I talk to him, “I want to make for explosion matches!” He said “OK”. I BELIEVE HIM! I believe him… Then I go back to Japan. But no answer! I trust him. Then, how many years ago I go to ECW? 2 years ago… I go to ECW. I talked to E? E? Paul? Paul E, yeah. I say, “I wanna make for in United States explosion matches!” He said “OK, OK, OK!” I think this: “Oh, this is good!” I believed him! I believed him! Then I go back to Japan. But no answer! Nobody, no answer! Why? Japanese trust! Shake hands, this is guarantee! American people, every time, lie to me. Why? Why?!– Atsushi Onita

They’re all scumbags. Me and you, we’re PARTNERS!!– Rob Black- XPW Press Conference

06): You see it doesn’t matter what you say ’cause I make more than all you guys in the ring. And I don’t have to fight you tonight but I will fight that homo next to you ’cause sooner or later, Shawn Micheals, I’m gonna kick your scrawny ass!– Bret Hart

Ok, Bret. But first, just because you make more money than me doesn’t mean you have more than me. You see, that’s why you have to work every show like a nine to five regular guy and I just have to work once a month, because this company needs me, it needs Triple H, it needs Chyna, it needs Ravishing Rick. And that’s why you’ve been midcarding the pay per views I’ve been main eventing and the only way you could get back into the main event was to wrestle me because I’m all there is around here now. And you say that you broke up the Klique, well don’t confuse division with expansion because from this day forward ’til I say otherwise, the Klique runs this business.– Shawn Michaels: Raw ’97

07): Sunny was twenty years old before she knew cars had front seats– Jerry Lawler

08): If your Olympic Hero were to use the Worm in the 1996 Olympic Games, it would be so embarassing to all the other atheletes – and our country, mind you- that the USA would have finished behind Guam.– Kurt Angle

09): I know all about cheating, I’ve had four very successful marriages– Bobby Heenan

10): Jerry Graham was remarkable. He’s pick the whole bar up and get everybody drunk. He kept me drunk one time for almost two months. You get the DT’s. It got to where I had to hide from him.– Frankie Cain

Ahhh, Rob Black… I doubt we will ever see a slimier figure in this business ever again…

Yes, I stand by that statement, knowing full well what this business is capable of attracting.

Let’s wrap things up with a very occasional feature that I like to do sometimes… I use to do them all the time at Flea’s site, but… well, it’s a boring story that is essentially about Flea getting tired of posting all these ding dong columns and giving up. But, it’s a great way to show off my brilliant mind… and it fills up ample space… sooooooo…

GUIDE TO LIFE

The deal is, people (ie: YOU) ask me stuff and I (ie: Hy-Rate) answer with deep, intelligent, thoughtful words of wisdom. People have been usually VERY impressed with my answers… I usually impress people like that… because I’m ALWAYS underestimated… ALWAYS…

And I LOVE it.

Anyway, the questions are in regular type and my answers are in bold… We start off with a guy who is OUTRAGED that his Ex-girl wasn’t upfront with him on a particular matter… and he wants to know if he has a case:

Hyatte, 3somes….

Just found out a girl I dated and am now friends with had an interesting past. Before she was with me, she said she’s had sex with 2 guys at the same time. Not only that, she said she’d had sex with 2 women at the same time, multiple times. I think she said 10 or more times. So she loved it and went back for more.

Now I’m pissed off because I didn’t get a chance to get in on that action! She never told me about her past and even after me, she said she f*cked her female friends!! She only did 2 dudes at the same time once, saying it was a drunken mistake. But the female f*cking was multiple times and intentional. And even more, she said her ex was so LAME in bed, she wanted to spice things up for him and brought a friend in for him so they could have a 3some!

Not once did she ever reveal this to me while we were dating and not once did she offer the same thing for me. As if any self respecting male would turn down an OFFERED 3some! Her reason for not telling me “You never asked”. Holy shit man! Is that a form of lying or what?

Should I be pissed off?

Mike, a Canadian

Yes, you should. At yourself.

This is what happened, this girl you dated was WAITING for you to ask about her past, and about her kinky side. She sat back and twiddled her thumbs just WAITING for you to start asking the right questions.

You didn’t. If you did, she would have answered, but you just didn’t. You probably didn’t do much to find out about her. You didn’t show much INTEREST in her life before you waddled into it. It was all right there, amigo… yours for the taking… you just had to ask.

No, she didn’t lie… how could she lie if you never gave her an opportunity to?

You know, chicks are, for the most part, moody little headcases, but they won’t go off on you if you ask them if they’re into some wild shit.

Here’s something else, just for future reference… a LOT of girls kind’a dig getting their hair pulled… and almost all of them enjoy being takendominatedowned… and if you want to find out if your girl is into this… just ask.

No, you f*cked up here… you should’ve shown an interest in getting to know her. She would’ve spilled.

Damn Canadians… no WONDER your women come running to us American slobs… we throw them aboot the room and MAKE them like it.

Moving on…. this next one deals with male love… PLATONIC male love!

Hyatte,

See if you can help me out with this one. Over a year ago, me and a buddy of mine were renting an apartment together. He’d been a friend of mine for about 6 years. The guy has always been a bit of a sci-fi geek and an introvert around others, but, otherwise, he was a genuinely nice guy who I knew from high school that had a f*cked up childhood.

Things were good and the friendship was strong until about 8 months into it. I started to notice that he was becoming more reclusive and he seemed to be having a tough time paying his bills. He was even borrowing money from my girlfriend. I suspected that he wasn’t working anymore and tried to talk to him about things and see what the problem was. He said everything was fine and I let it go. About a week later, he took a bunch of pills and downed them with a bottle of wine. When I got home, me and another friend found him face down in the bathroom covered in vomit. I rushed him to the hospital and notified his family. I found out that he hadn’t been working, he was broke, and his car had gotten reposessed that day. I also found out that he had attempted suicide several years back and never mentioned it.

He went back to living with his family and I was stuck paying all the bills on my own. The family originally offered to help and, when I would speak to them about money, they would swear that a check was coming. Only once did I see a check and it didn’t even cover his half of that month’s bills. He was in therapy and I did what I felt reasonable to be supportive. He got a job and would give me some money here and there, but never near enough. When the lease ran out, a couple months later he was still living at home with his folks. I moved in with my girlfriend and I had come out of pocket a little over $1,000 in additional expenses covering his half of the bills.

Now, he still calls me from time to time wanting to hang out. However, I feel extremely awkward around the guy. I mean, I was left to deal with his mess both literally and figuratively. Here was someone I thought I knew pretty well who had some severe emotional problems that he kept hidden which led to huge financial problems for me. It’s been some time now and any emotional connection I had to this is just about gone, but how am I supposed to treat him when he calls? I don’t know how damaged the guy is and I really don’t want to do anything that’ll hinder his ability to heal by blowing him off, but I resent the burden that was placed on my shoulders. So, should I accept the financial losses, understand that he’s getting help, and try to continue to be his friend or should I just leave him be?

P.S. Quick question. I’ve been a Kevin Nash fan since his days as Diesel. Who or what was Nash referring to in that quote you’ve put up a few times, “Where’s the dog at when you need him most?”

Daniel L

*Sniff sniff…. this e-mail is three months old.

Accept the financial losses and move on. You have anger in you over the way he f*cked you over. You won’t be able to stow it aside and act like everything’s okay. You can test this by hanging out with him once. Check out how you feel/act differently with him. It’s all changed, dude. Things will never go back to the way they were.

The guy is in therapy and is a headcase… people like that usually try to heal themselves by always sticking with the safe times… the good ol’ days, as it were. These people are always avoiding their present and the future by looking to the past… constantly. The guy is clearly unable to function on his own and he handles responsibility about as well as my parrot handles my nuts. Whether he doesn’t want to or is just unable to, the boy can’t be counted on.

You would only be his friens again out of pure pity, and that gets real old, real fast.

The Dog was a wrestler who acted like a Dog on Nitro… he was created and quietly destroyed during the time between Vince Russo’s two distinct WCW eras. (I believe Kevin Sullivan dreamed this one up). WHO the Dog was and WHY was he allowed to exist is something Scooter Keith could answer… so bother him for the finer details.

This last one is about love…. true love…. REAL love…. FORBIDDEN love…

A little backround first. I been divorced for about a year and I have custody of my children. Well about a month after my divorce I started seeing someone and it was absolutly great. She had a daughter my daughters age and they became good friends, on top of that the sex was great.

December she was diagnosed with ms and she decided that she was going to try and work it out with her husband who she was legally seperated from do to insurance and the fact the the man really banks it almost twice as much as I do. During the time we had together we talked about marriage to having another child, we looked at homes together mine just wasn’t big enough for 2 more people to move into. Anyways She gave me the we can still be friends thing and I told her no. My thinking was her husband knew who I was and how could her and I be friends after what we shared. Did I make the right decision? I miss her but I think being friends would turn out to be to difficult.

make a name up.

*Sniff…. sniff…. four months old here.

Naaaah, let the family stay a family… for better or for worse the husband is willing to take care of her while MS slowly starts to take away all of her motor functions. Ever bang a girl with MS? Ain’t exactly a pleasure cruise.

And you know what, even if you did try to be friends (and what girl hasn’t used that phrase as a nice way of saying, “Take off, hoser”), she wouldn’t be into it. Staying friends with you would require a LOT of sneaking around on her part… and probably some guilt too. You’d get the occasional phone call and maybe a nice, quiet lunch somewhere once or twice a year, but that would be it. She’s got enough hassles, she doesn’t need tip-toeing around her husband to be added.

You backed off and you seem pretty logical about it. You made the right call.

And I’m making the right call by leaving now. Next week, reading material RETURNS… Hyatte-Yak RETURNS…and… errm… AIM CHATS… and … ummm….

Oh just show up, assholes.

This is Hyatte