Alternate Reality by Vin Tastic

The WWE has recently debuted new tag teams on both brands, MNM on SmackDown and The Heart Throbs on Raw. Although there are some slight similarities between the two teams, there are also some important differences.

TODAY’S ISSUE: The “It” Team or the “What-Is-It” Team?

MNM (Mercury/Nitro/Melina) burst onto the SmackDown scene on the first installment of the interview segment Carlito’s Cabana, strutting down a red carpet and posing for the paparazzi. Wearing mink coats with no shirts beneath, Johnny Nitro and Joey Mercury showed off their chiseled physiques and “LA looks”, including bleach steaks in their hair and smoky shades. After their coordinated ring entrance and Melina’s amazing display of flexibility, MNM grabbed the spotlight and demanded to be recognized. They forced their way into the tag-team title picture, and captured the championship on their very first attempt, one week into their SmackDown careers. As debuts go, MNM’s was nothing less than spectacular.

The Heart Throbs (Romeo and Antonio) accepted an open challenge from then-champions Regal and Tajiri on Raw one night, and proceeded to lose the match. They had Jonathan Coachman’s glowing commentary going for them, and not much else. They seemed to be the second coming of Billy and Chuck, prancing about in a most effeminate manner with matching headbands and strange facial expressions. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of the tandem, but I certainly didn’t buy them as ladies men. In fact, they seemed more like ladies. They somehow wound up in the Tag-Team Turmoil match at Backlash, where they were eliminated first. Their debut was a dud.

Some of the other differences I see in the two teams are:

The Heart Throbs: Talk about their prowess with women, but have not yet demonstrated their ability to make the girls swoon.

MNM: Included in the team is a red-hot lady with the most sensational ring entrance I’ve ever seen
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The Heart Throbs: WAY over the top with their gimmick. Unbelievable characters. They act silly.

MNM: Huge attitudes, displayed in their words, their dress, and their self-image. We all know people like them!
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The Heart Throbs: Are they gay? (not that there’s anything wrong with that)

MNM: Metrosexual for sure, but clearly straight.
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The Heart Throbs: Claim to be big-time swingers, I guess. They haven’t actually said much of anything.

MNM: Claim to be the hottest news in Hollywood, and boast of their friendship with celebrities.
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For two teams who might have seemed very similar the week they both showed up, they have already become very different. So far, MNM has turned heads, while The Heart Throbs have left fans shaking their heads. MNM act like guys with super-toned bodies and a hot chick by their side, who feel the world is their oyster. The Heart Throbs act like caricatures of pseudo-homoerotic freaks, who are clueless about the world around them.

My analysis at this time is…

The Heart Throbs: Not going anywhere, look like morons. Repackage or remove from TV altogether.

MNM: Winning gimmick, great look, winning team with a bright future. They ARE The It Team.

I look forward to watching the progress of MNM. Conversely, I look forward to watching The Heart Throbs head down to OVW, or out of the WWE completely.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.

p.s. – How can you “dig yourself out” of a hole?

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