[RAW] Official RAW Preview, Anti-Raw Preview

From WWE.com:

RAW Preview for May 30, 2005

Last week on RAW, Kane was visibly heartbroken after his wife Lita betrayed him and showed her affection towards Edge. This week, both Kane and Lita will be Chris Jericho’s guests on the Highlight Reel.

Lita’s love interest Edge will also be busy tonight, as he squares off against Chris Benoit in a Tables Match on RAW.

In honor of today’s holiday, the lovely RAW Divas will compete in a special Memorial Day Swimsuit Competition tonight on RAW.

The World Tag Team Championship will be on the line tonight when champions The Hurricane and Rosey put the gold on the line against The Heart Throbs. Will the newcomers be able to dethrone the veteran superheroes? Watch RAW to find out.

The Intercontinental Championship will also be on the line tonight when Shelton Benjamin, Rob Conway and Sylvain Grenier battle in a Triple Threat Match. For weeks, Conway and Grenier have been trying to prove that they are the superior member of La Resistance. A victory be either one would go a long way in proving their superiority. Will we have a new Intercontinental Champion tonight? Or will Shelton Benjamin’s awesome athleticism prove to be too much for his challengers?

Also, what will be the World Heavyweight Champion’s response to Triple H’s sledgehammer attack last week? Before RAW went off the air, The Cerebral Assassin left Batista bloodied and with a cryptic message, saying only, “Hell in a Cell.” Don’t miss RAW as hopefully more details are revealed.

This and much more on Monday Night RAW at 9/8 CT only on Spike TV.

Anti-Raw Preview

Last week, we decided it would be a great idea for Kane to cry like a little girl whos dog just got run over. Tonight, we’ll see the Big Red Baby in the ring with his estranged slut of a wife, Lita. They will both be guests on Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel, if he decides to show up. He’s cool like that.

Lita’s man, Edge, will also get some action tonight. Well, with Lita in the locker room, who doesn’t? However, Edge will be in combat before he gets to tap that ass, as he takes on Chris Benoit in a Tables Match. Somehow we’ll make this into a promo for ECW.

Because we’re patriotic and Vince needs his vice, we’ll get the Divas to take their clothes off and prance around in bikinis. Memorial Day isn’t about our veterans, it’s about the whores!

Also tonight, The Hurricane and his fat sidekick Rosey will square off with The Heart Throbs. Who said the tag division was dead!? This is Hart Foundation/Bulldogs for the modern day fan!

Shelton Benjamin will take on both members of La Resistance in a Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental Title. We expect Shelton to get injured because we know Sylvain Grenier is always doing something dumb to impress Patterson. Do we care? NO! Like Triple H, our Lord and savior, told Booker T back in the day, Shelton’s people don’t get to be stars.

Speaking of the man who not only came up with Hulkamania but also told Steve Austin to drop the Austin 3:16 line while also selling out every arena he has been in since 1982, Triple H has finally returned! We know that you missed him dearly, the ratings showed it. Well, HE’S BACK! He’s challenged Batista, the latest non drawing champion, to a Hell In A Cell match for Vengeance. This will be the big opportunity to get the title off of Batista because quite frankly, Triple H needs to pad his record and nobody else draws when they wear that belt. We know why, it’s because you, our fans, DEMAND more Triple H, you DEMAND greatness and you DEMAND that the World Title only be taken from Triple H for a period of two to three months at a time!

All this and much more on Monday Night RAW at 9/8 CT only on Spike TV. Check us out before we have to crawl our asses back to USA!