[OVW] OVW TV Report for May 14, 2005

05/14/2005 – DAVIS ARENA

While the standard opening credits of the show made it appear to be the start of another normal week of OVW action, viewers were shocked to find Dean alone at the announcers’ desk as the program began. Dean informed viewers and the audience in attendance that Jim Cornette was not there at Davis Arena. In fact, no one knew where he was, and it had everyone upset. In hopes of getting some information from someone at the Davis Arena, he directed the cameras to cut to Alexis Laree backstage.

Alexis appeared in the crowded hallways of the Davis Arena, working her way through the numerous OVW wrestlers there to see if they had any information as to Cornette’s whereabouts. Unfortunately, there are no answers, only chaos and mixed emotions backstage, as the wrestlers either tried to calm each other down, avoid others they have grievances with, and/or attempted to convince themselves that Cornette’s disappearance was a good opportunity for them. Any way it can be sliced, the feeling backstage was one of uncertainty and confusion.

The cameras went back to Dean, and he wondered out loud if the issue at hand could be health related. Whatever the reason, he could assure the OVW fans that they would find out as soon as any word came forward. Before he could continue, however -.



The WWE- Tag-Team Champions, M-N-M (maybe not plain, but certainly nuts), came out to mockingly wag their WWE Championship belts at Dean and the crowd. Before they could go blind, Joey Mercury grabbed the microphone and the threesome entered the ring.

Once there, Joey told the audience, “Jim Cornette was a very big deal about twenty years ago, but Jim Cornette never meant crap to M-N-M. Jim Cornette was a man of THESE people, but these people never meant crap to M-N-M. Jim Cornette never did a thing for M-N-M; we did it all on our own.”

Nitro continued Mercury’s rant by stating that M-N-M not only made the belts look SEX-AY, but also owned the Danny David Arena, OVW, WWE, and the world. Melina then concluded by stating that because of their stature in life, they were going to give something back to the common folks: letting them have the rare chance to have a picture taken of M-N-M.

They then exit the ring to work their way around the railing. As it turned out, Melina really did mean “of M-N-M” and not “with M-N-M,” M-N-M were happy to have pictures taken, but did not want them ruined by having any OVW fans pose with them. Thus, they merely posed for a second here and there as they moved around the ring.

When they got to the final corner, a fan started bugging Melina for a photo; annoying her to the point that she slapped him across the face. With that, OVW security came out to pull M-N-M away from the crowd. Like a bad war flashback, Mercury and Nitro started beating up on OVW security, dragging one of the unfortunate men into the ring to give him the Snapshot. With the man lying still, Mercury then ran out of the ring, threw an OVW employee out of a steel chair, and came back into the ring with the chair. Placing it around the man’s ankle, Melina and Mercury waited for Nitro to jump off the corner ropes to break the man’s ankle like they did the week before to Mac Johnson.

Luckily for the man, Seth Skyfire came out with a crutch and started swinging, sending M-N-M to the back as a paramedic and other OVW personnel came out to check the man over. While the man was being taken care of, Dean mentioned the upcoming M-N-M match against Seth Skyfire and Rey Mysterio that will occur on June 3rd as part of the Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom Summer Sizzler series.

Dean then introduced the man who came out to sit in for the missing Jim Cornette, WWE Superstar, Tough Enough Trainer, and WWE commentator, Al Snow. Dean asked Al his thoughts on the disappearance of Jim Cornette, and Snow responded that he was concern as well, but had no further details than what Dean and everyone else already knew.

Dean switched back to Alexis Laree. The situation backstage had only gotten worse, as more of the OVW roster began to get edgy about Cornette’s disappearance. Laree moved to the back of a hall, but found the door to be locked. Asking some of the wrestlers what they thought bout the situation, the response from one was, “Who cares? Who cares?!”


Al apologized to the audience and viewers at home for the absence of Jim Cornette. However, “the show always will go on.” Following that, Snow then announced a man who was an icon in professional wrestling, both as a wrestler and a manager, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan.

Heenan came out to the ring to the chants of the crowd, and joined Al to tell him that he was there to pay honor to a great wrestling manager there at OVW. A man so great, in fact, that Heenan had trouble remembering his name. Something like Bowling, as in “Bowling for Dollars.” Al Snow took a guess with the name “Kenny Bolin,” although it was a wild shot in the dark considering how many felt of him as a manager.

Turned out that Snow was right on target, as Heenan pointed out that with his own experience of being a manager for forty years, he knew a great manager when he saw one. It was obvious as well by the way the audience began chanting Bolin’s name. Of course they also chanted the word “Sucks!” after his name each time, but it was still enough to impress Heenan, and he wanted to give Bolin exactly what he deserved for such recognition. Heenan was then handed a small silver gift bag with a bow on top and stated he wanted to give Bolin a gift.

Kenny Bolin came through the curtains with Ms. Blue, a little confused. Heenan made his way to the ropes and held them open for Kenny, which helped Bolin feel a little more comfortable. After he was halfway through, however, Heenan let go of the ropes, which then bounced back into Bolin’s midsection, sending Bolin crashing into a camera in the ring. While Bolin looked concern, Heenan’s facial reaction told Bolin that it must have been a slip of the ropes. Yeah.

Bolin is stunned by the gift bag, so much so that he even offered to buy Heenan’s book once it came out in paperback and was discounted. Bolin then got his gumption up, which is usually a bad thing. Although he admitted to hearing of Heenan, Bolin wanted to know why everyone talked about him when Bolin was the “starmaker.”

Heenan tried to humor Bolin by stating that he spent forty years as a manager and only made a nuisance of himself, but Bolin had no room for humor. Of course, with his size, he probably doesn’t have much room for anything, but I’m getting off-topic. Bolin told Heenan that Kenny Bolin was the best manager who ever lived, trying to get a rise out of Heenan. Nevertheless, Heenan good-naturedly listened to the comment and then held out the gift bag for Kenny, telling him that the gift inside represented what all the wrestlers and managers thought of him.

Bolin may have been upset over the respect Heenan had from others, but he was never one to give up a free gift. Grabbing the bag, he muttered something about Heenan not being such a bad guy, then pull out a black silky object that, when unfolded, turned out to be a four-foot wide pair of black women undies.

As Bolin began to boil, Heenan apologized for the gift, saying that it should have been a six-foot trophy. With that, Bolin tried to take a swing at Heenan, but Heenan grabbed the undies and wrapped them around Bolin’s head. As Bolin stumbled around the ring, Heenan took off his jacket and held it up at the ropes like a matador. Bolin went running towards the jacket, falling through the ropes and crashing on to the floor.

With a dazed Bolin being led away to the back by Ms. Blue, Al Snow thanked Bobby Heenan for appearing.

Backstage, Alexis was still hunting around to find out if anyone knew what was going on with Jim Cornette. She began to ask a new OVW superstar, Deesere, her thoughts on the topic when Aaron “The Idol” Stevens came up and wrapped an arm around the woman. He then asked Alexis why she was looking all over for an answer, but had not bothered to talk to him. Suddenly, he pushed the woman away, demanding that she not touch him, as viewers saw Beth Phoenix appear from the side of the screen. Acting innocent, Stevens directed Phoenix over to Deesere, whereupon Phoenix threatened the woman for getting close to “her man.” Alexis pulled Phoenix away, telling her that everyone had enough problems as it was, as the camera cut back to the ring.

REF: Chris Kay

Brent came to the ring with the OVW Championship belt to announce that OVW rules did not allow wrestlers to have multiple titles at the same time. Although he “had beaten everyone in OVW” since becoming the TV Champion back in February, he had decided to retire from the TV title in order to remain the OVW Champion. The following week, two names would be pulled for a match to find out who will become the next TV Title Champion.

Before Albright could say anymore, Aaron “The Idol” Stevens and Beth Phoenix came out. When the microphone at the desk was not working properly for The Idol to speak to the masses around him, Stevens screamed at Phoenix to get the microphone Albright had in his hands. After much teasing, Albright relinquished the microphone so that Stevens could speak.

The Idol thought it was funny that Albright said he had “beaten everyone” and would be retiring from the TV Title. As Aaron saw it, “if it wasn’t for Danny Inferno interfering in our match a few weeks back,” he would be the TV champion instead of Albright. Thus, to Stevens’ way of thinking, “I am the one person in OVW you cannot beat. I am the one person in OVW you cannot make tap-out.”

Brent asked if he was challenging him to a match for the title. If so, he would be happy to do it, as another $1,000 in his pocket was not a problem for him and he could then retire from the title the following week as planned anyway. Al Snow jumped in to tell them that if they wanted a match, then he felt everyone would be fine if he made the decision to have the two meet in the ring right at that moment.

The two entered the ring with referee Chris Kay and the match started with a lock-up that turned into a takedown by Albright. The two tussled across the ring until they hit the ropes, where The Idol grabbed hold in order to cause a break. Back into the center of the ring, Stevens tried to kick Albright in the gut, but Brent caught the leg, shoving it down and then hiptossing Stevens to the mat. Once there, Albright worked on The Idol’s arm for a while to soften it up for a possible Crowbar attempt until Stevens’ punched him in the head.

The two went back and forth for a bit, until Albright clotheslined Stevens out of the ring. On the floor, Albright tried to reach down to Aaron, but Stevens pushed out with his legs, driving Albright into a building post so hard that equipment attached to the post came loose and fell to the ground. Brent stumbled forward and ran straight into a clothesline by Stevens, smashing Brent down. Picking Albright up, Stevens threw him back into the ring and began choking him, followed by three knees to the forehead. Moving Albright up to his knees, Stevens then hit Albright with a jawbreaker.

The two traded elbows to the head, followed by Stevens kicking Albright in the gut, punching him in the head a few times, and then performing a suplex on Brent for near-pin. Furious at Brent kicking out of the pin, Stevens rubbed Brent’s face into the mat before kicking him in the head for another near-pin.

Albright fought back by pushing Stevens to the corner and then suplexing him when The Idol bounced back. Albright followed with a spear and then several punches and elbows to the head to drop Stevens before whipping Aaron into the ropes for another elbow to the chest that sent The Idol to the mat. Still, a pin attempt went nowhere and Albright tried to follow up with another whip to the ropes. This time, Stevens held on and elbowed Albright in the head when Brent came over to him.

Albright backdropped Stevens twice and then performed a German Suplex, but a pin was still out of reach and The Idol countered by setting Albright up for a DDT. Brent managed to push Stevens away and straight into Chris Kay, who was knocked out of the ring. As Kay lied in a lump at ringside, Albright grabbed Stevens and put him into the Crowbar. Unfortunately, with Kay literally out, there was no one there to record The Idol tapping-out to the move.

Noticing something was wrong, Albright went out and shoved Kay back into the ring. Getting back in, Beth Phoenix climbed in and slapped Albright on the back, then quickly began begging off as an angry Albright moved towards her. With his concentration fixed on Phoenix, Albright did not see Stevens come into the ring with a steel chair. The Idol connected with a swing of the chair to Albright’s back, sending Albright down.

Thinking little of Kay still being out, Stevens pinned Albright. Behind him, Stevens’ nemesis Danny Inferno entered the ring and then slapped the mat for the three-count in order to sucker Stevens into thinking he had won. As Aaron got up to receive the applause of the crowd, he turned around just in time to see Inferno shutting him down with a clothesline. And then another; followed by several punches to the head.

Beth jumped on Inferno’s back, but Danny easily threw her off. After slapping him, Beth ran off and out of the building with Inferno close behind, leaving Kay, Stevens, and Albright still in the ring.

The three men slowly picked themselves up, with Albright being the first to start moving, laying in punches on Steven’s head. Stevens followed with what looked to be the start of a rollup attempt, but Albright flipped over Stevens and threw The Idol into the Crowbar, causing Stevens to tap-out with Kay watching. Thus, Brent Albright was once again, and for the final time it appeared, the TV Champion.

As per usual, Albright went down to the announcers’ table to grab the microphone and inform his opponent about taping-out to the best wrestler in OVW. This time, he did not get to finish, however, as he was attacked from behind by Simon Dean, the former OVW Champion. Slamming the OVW belt into Albright’s head and then tossing Albright into the announcers’ table, Simon Dean could not be restrained, even by several members of the OVW staff and OVW referees.

Simon grabbed the microphone and choked Albright with it before placing a chair on top of Brent and then commencing to speak to Albright on the mic. Noting the type of shenanigans that have happened on the show in the six months he had been gone from OVW – namely things dealing wrestlers wearing boas, guys wearing banana costumes, and now a guy who talked to a head as a commentator – Simon felt OVW had become a “freaking circus.” He then told Albright that “on behalf of myself, Damaja, Basham, Dinsmore” and the other OVW champions, Albright wasn’t fit to be there. Mentioning that Albright’s nickname “Shooter” would work better with an “I” replacing the “O’s” because “you’re a piece of crap.” Simon then stomped Albright in the head before telling everyone, “Simon says, I don’t believe in any of you!” He then grabbed an OVW employee and performed the Novocain on them, dropping the poor guy to the floor in pain.

As Simon stomped off, Dean and Al agreed that Simon would get a match next week against Brent Albright, but it would not be on television. Instead, that match next week at the Davis Arena would be only for the audience members who came to the show. So if you want to see how the former OVW Champion performs against the man who has taken on all comers and won, you’ll have to take a trip over to Davis Arena for the next television taping to see the off-air match-up.

As Snow finished up giving the details to the Brent Albright/Simon Dean match, The Blonde Bombers came out with about thirty OVW wrestlers behind them. Tank Toland grabbed the microphone to announce that all night all they heard was “Where’s Cornette? Where’s Cornette? What is going on?” None of that mattered to them. What mattered to the Tolands was that they had decided that they were going to take over the show, and Tank Toland was to be the one in charge.

Before Al or Dean could say anything, the Thrillseekers came out with approximately thirty other OVW wrestlers behind them. Jeter and Cappotelli went right up to the Blonde Bombers and Jeter grabbed the microphone from Tank. He told Tank and Chad that no one may have seen Cornette, but one thing was for sure, Tank was not going to be taking over.

As Tank began to respond, Jillian Hall popped up in a neck brace to tell Jeter that maybe no one had seen Jim Cornette, but, “I don’t think you’re going to see Jimmy or anyone else for a long time.” With that, she pulled out a bottle of rubbing alcohol and squeezed, shooting the alcohol into Jeter’s eyes. As Jeter crumbled in pain, Cappotelli went to work on Tank. With Dean and Al looking on, everyone around the ring began walloping away at everyone else as the week’s offering of OVW came to a close.

At the beginning of the show, it was mentioned that there was chaos backstage, which by the end of the program had finally spilled out completely into the center of Davis Arena. Jim Cornette’s disappearance has created a flurry of confusion and anger in the ranks at OVW, and only after one day. What will happen next week if Jim Cornette is not there? Who will try to take charge if Jim Cornette does not show up? Will anyone every find out what happened to him?

Keep an eye out in the coming weeks for where this wild ride will take us all.

Credit: Dale Sherman and OVWrestling.com

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